- Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. The only way I may be able to say thank you is to invite him on a television show, where we're both one step removed from having to directly deal with each other on a human level. Hillary Kun, the guest booker [on The Daily Show (1996)], and I have been talking about who might be interesting to have come on and trying to get a balance of people. And trying to get the Queen.
- [on taking over The Daily Show (1996) for Jon Stewart] I'll do anything for him, whether it's hosting this show or disposing of a body. I guess I was just happy it was the first of those two choices, and I wasn't taking a trip to the East River under the cover of darkness. On the phone with him, I was saying, I'll do it. It was only upon hanging up that my legs started to buckle. I thought, What have I just agreed to? But it was long enough away that it didn't really seem real.
- [on what he's learned from Jon Stewart] In terms of how he's able to oversee the writing and the production of what the script needs every day, that has been interesting. What he's always told us is you want to make sure that the spine of the argument is in shape. You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job. It's harder to shift the point of view of a headline later in the day. That's the kind of thing you need to keep an eye on early. You'd think you'd come in early in the day and go, "What jokes should we tell?" And that's not always the case.
- Australia is a sensational place and it really begs the question: why the f-- did we make that our penal colony when it's nicer than where we live? We should have said to criminals at the time "You're all staying here, we're off to go live in paradise."
- Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. You can say what you like about Australian racism, it is undeniably specific. I had a couple of Australians - more than one - complain to me about all the Lebbos in the country, referring apparently to the Lebanese. Who the fuck is annoyed by Lebanese people? In a way you have to admire the attention to detail. Not just all those Arabs, but the Lebanese.
- [on preparing for his new show Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (2014)] We're trying to build the machine that will one day make fun of stories that haven't happened yet. It's most important task is to take something really depressing in one end and spit out jokes on the other, in about a hundred different ways.
- [on newly installed and embattled General Motors CEO Mary Barra] She hasn't just broken the glass ceiling, she's been ejected through the glass windshield.
- [on his desire to produce more in-depth analysis of news events] You see something that's a little bit weird, you start looking into it, and then three days in we have the same meeting which is basically going, "Holy shit! This is a lot worse than we thought it was going to be." The problem is that the loudest journalism in America is generally saying the least.
- Why do neo-Nazis always like metal? Is there anyone into both anti-Zionist conspiracy theories and smooth jazz?
- [on Boris Johnson] A man with such horrifically poor judgment, he wasn't just Britain's most ardent advocate for pulling out of the EU, he may be its strongest argument for pulling out in general.
- [on attending the last space shuttle launch] It was the single greatest thing I've ever witnessed in my life. I nearly cried--and I was not expecting to feel that way. A lot of people there said they found it a religious experience, and I found it the opposite of that. Because it is ungodly. There is nothing more unnatural than a space shuttle launch. It is mankind fighting nature and winning. Nature is trying to suck us back down to earth, and we fight it by strapping ourselves to the top of a missile. And through rocket power--through violence and pure fire--we lift ourselves off the face of the planet. And in doing so we basically tell Florida to go fuck itself.
- [asked about the engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle] It is very difficult for me to give less of a shit than I give now. I could possibly give less of a shit, but I'd have to really, actively try.
- [on Donald Trump] He's the gift that keeps on giving the way a fire hose keeps on giving, and you wish it would stop occasionally.
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