- A comedian says funny things. A comic says things funny.
- Wasn't it Whistler who said that a great painter was one who could hide the effort which he put into his work? The same thing goes for gags. It often takes hours to think up something that is said in seconds.
- I'll be back in a flash with more trash. - his famous exit line
- I can't give you a definition [of humor]. It is too subtle to be pinned down. I can say that it differs from wit, which exaggerates the truth, while humor presents the truth in an original way.
- [on performing in radio] If I go on the air I've got to have an audience. If I am to get 'raspberries' I want them immediately and not three weeks later, in the mail from Sioux City.
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