- Oh East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet
- The female of the species is more deadly than the male
- Our England is a garden ...
- He travels fastest who travels alone.
- I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all I knew); their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who.
- Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
- Most amusements only mean trying to win another person's money.
- Every one is more or less mad on one point.
- A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
- The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
- One of the hardest things to realize, especially for a young man, is that our forefathers were living men who really knew something.
- [discovered burning his paperwork in old age] I'll be damned if anyone makes a monkey of me after I'm gone!
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