Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Golden Age
For more than a decade taking up the better part of the 1980s and '90s, Arnold Schwarzenegger was one of the world's premier movie stars. With this list, I celebrate my personal favourites from the zenith of one of the unlikeliest Hollywood success stories ever with a ranking of the major films from this golden era.
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- DirectorJohn McTiernanStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerF. Murray AbrahamArt CarneyWith the help of a magic ticket, a young movie fan is transported into the fictional world of his favorite action movie character.A movie that celebrates the magic of movies themselves. Arnold is brilliantly used in three roles that showcase his action and comedy talents. Last Action Hero is one of my absolute favourite movies from any genre or era. It feels like it was made for us, the fans, and that makes it really special.
10 stars - DirectorJohn McTiernanStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerCarl WeathersKevin Peter HallA team of commandos on a mission in a Central American jungle find themselves hunted by an extraterrestrial warrior.This is a perfect movie. It succeeds across multiple genres and tones: action, suspense, comedy, science fiction, war, mystery, you name it. It might be best remembered for Stan Winston's creature effects, which, of course, are outstanding, but the way the script handles escalating the tension throughout is what makes for some true movie magic.
10 stars - DirectorJohn MiliusStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerJames Earl JonesMax von SydowA powerful warrior seeks to avenge the genocide of his people and the murder of his parents at the hands of a snake cult.Arnold comes of age as a legitimate movie star in a one-of-a-kind epic. This movie could only have been made in the '80s and would only have worked with John Milius behind the camera. It's an epic fantasy masterpiece of a kind we'll never see again. It also has the most majestic score you're ever likely to hear in any film.
10 stars - DirectorJames CameronStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerLinda HamiltonEdward FurlongA cyborg, identical to the one who failed to kill Sarah Connor, must now protect her ten year old son John from an even more advanced and powerful cyborg.T2 is a movie that lives up to its repuation. It has a stellar storyline and world-class performances from all the leads. It's clever, subtle, sophisticated and, most important of all, it has heart.
10 stars - DirectorPaul Michael GlaserStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerMaria Conchita AlonsoYaphet KottoIn a dystopian America, a falsely convicted policeman gets his shot at freedom when he must forcibly participate in a TV game show where convicts, runners, must battle killers for their freedom.This movie just gets truer every day and I love it more with each watch. The cynicism is laid on so thick and yet there's not one thing parodied that hasn't come true in these days of trash TV. It's a rare and beautiful paradox: a great movie about bad entertainment.
9 stars - DirectorJames CameronStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerLinda HamiltonMichael BiehnA cyborg assassin from the future attempts to find and kill a young woman who is destined to give birth to a warrior that will lead a resistance to save humankind from extinction.It almost seems like a cruel joke to take somebody who has the most oversized personality in the world and give him the job of playing an emotionless robot, but Arnold is so committed to the part that it comes off just as well as any of his more typically gregarious performances. It's a budget masterpiece with an excellent script that wisely never spends too long dealing with the "technical" side because it understands that the real point is the thrill of the pursuit by an unstoppable enemy.
9 stars - DirectorIvan ReitmanStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerPenelope Ann MillerPamela ReedA tough cop must pose as a kindergarten teacher in order to locate a dangerous criminal's ex-wife, who may hold the key to putting him behind bars.Even if it's not remembered as top-tier Arnold, this is a movie that showed what he was capable of in a major way. He gets to be tough, funny and shockingly vulnerable in a clever story with a big heart that makes a great "starter" film for younger audiences just getting into action movies.
8 stars - DirectorJames CameronStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerJamie Lee CurtisTom ArnoldA fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used-car salesman while terrorists smuggle nuclear war heads into the United States.Just an absolute joy. Arnold yet again gets to do what he does best as an action star and unexpectedly great comedic performer. This movie comes near the end of the era of over-the-top action spectacle before the genre got too self-serious in the '90s. In that respect it also makes for a glorious send-off to those wonderful bygone days.
7 stars - DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerSharon StoneMichael IronsideWhen a man goes in to have virtual vacation memories of the planet Mars implanted in his mind, an unexpected and harrowing series of events forces him to go to the planet for real - or is he?I know it's a crime to rate this one so low and it's not because I don't love it. Arnold plays multiple characters for the first time (to great effect) in a bizarre movie that will not hold your hand as you try to navigate a storyline just as alien as the Martian landscape where it takes place.
7 stars - DirectorRichard FleischerStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerBrigitte NielsenSandahl BergmanThe fearless warrior Red Sonja sets out to avenge her family's murder and rid her kingdom from the tyrannical rule of evil Queen Gedren.If any Arnold movie falls into the "guilty pleasure" category, this is the one. It's unashamedly corny and just all-around lovable in all its goofball charm. We don't get movies like this one anymore and that's a shame.
5 stars - DirectorMark L. LesterStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerRae Dawn ChongDan HedayaA retired Special Forces colonel tries to save his daughter, who was abducted by his former subordinate.It's a great showcase for Arnold's action star prowess, but it's also kind of hollow and bland. The biggest problem is that Arnold is never in any real danger, he's just mowing down the opposition for an hour and a half. I would have liked some more conflict. But it does make for a cheesy good time at the movies nonetheless.
4 stars - DirectorRichard FleischerStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGrace JonesOlivia d'AboConan leads a ragtag group of adventurers on a quest for a princess.This is a sequel from a different dimension than the original movie. And not a good one.
3 stars - DirectorJohn IrvinStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerKathryn HarroldSam WanamakerA former FBI agent turned small-town sheriff agrees to help the FBI chief infiltrate the Chicago mafia when the FBI chief's son is killed by them.The longer it goes on, the lower my score gets. I love cheesy '80s action schlock, but it still needs to have a story that makes some sense.
3 stars - DirectorWalter HillStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerJim BelushiPeter BoyleA tough Russian policeman is forced to partner up with a cocky Chicago police detective when he is sent to Chicago to apprehend a Georgian drug lord who killed his partner and fled the country.The person who deserves the most praise is whoever decided that Arnold needed to have *more* of an accent.
2 stars - DirectorIvan ReitmanStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerDanny DeVitoKelly PrestonA physically perfect but innocent man goes in search of his long-lost twin brother, who turns out to be a short, womanizing, small-time crook.God, what a bore. This premise with these two stars should have been a cakewalk. And yet, there's not a single laugh and the story itself is so needlessly convoluted. Somebody else should given this script a good going over.
1 star
