From Far & Wide, From High & Low Vol 23

Love GODZILLA...Love KING KONG...Liked GODZILLA VS. KONG for the amazing GC mostly. The classic characters created by Ishiro Honda, Eiji Tsuberaya. Tomoyuki Tanaka, Edgar Wallace & Merian C. Cooper shared the screen before in the cult hit KING KONG VS. GODZILLA from Toho back in '62. This re-imagining from Legendary was the 4rth film in their Monsterverse which finds the agents of Monarch attempting to use the giant ape to locate a powerful weapon from Hollow Earth in order to halt Godzilla's assault on mankind. A deaf orphaned child from Skull Island communicates with Kong via sign language to convinces him to descend into the planet. Kong finds the mighty axe made from a dorsal fin of a Gojira in the cavernous remains of his ancestral throne room. Hollow Earth is similar to Skull Island & is filled with dangerous monsters but the worst is yet to come as Apex Cybernetics has harvested the brain tissue of the Ghidorah killed at the end of GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS to hardwire their robot Mechagodzilla. When Godzilla emerges from the ocean to attack Hong Kong after battling Kong to the death Ghidorah's brain over-rides Mechagodzilla's A.I. and immediately unleashes it's full arsenal to kill it's sworn enemy. The deaf child persuades Kong to join Godzilla in defeating the rampaging mecha with the fate of a city and perhaps even the world at stake. The special effects and creature designs are magnificent and the action sequences are terrific fun but everything moves at a snail's pace when the large cast takes center stage. The screenplay by Eric THOR: RAGNAROK Reardon & Max GODZILLA Borenstein didn't give the human players much to do by comparison to the kaiju and even if they had I'm not sure director Adam Wingard would know how to make any of it interesting. I only know Wingman for a few low budget horror anthologies that failed to leave a good impression and will never understand how a person with so little experience was permitted to helm something of this magnitude. With half of North America living like political prisoners GODZILLA VS. KONG still managed to turn a profit in the global market thanks to the same day release of the film to HBO & cinemas but did anyone love it? The human cast includes Millie STRANGER THINGS Brown, Alex THE STAND Scarsgard, Rebecca THE BFG Hall and Brian THE ETERNALS Henry. Average but I'm giving GODZILLA VS KONG an extra star for those spectacular CG monster battles.

I fell in love a little with this nifty, low budget horror pic when I read the tag-line on it's poster; "Is it a phantom, a demon or the Devil himself?". James THE AMITYVILLE HORROR Brolin starred as the sheriff of a dusty town investigating a string of hit-&-runs involving a Lincoln Continental with opaque windows in this fondly remembered pic that will remind genre buffs of KILLDOZER, DUEL or maybe even JAWS. The gimmick here is that THE CAR is driven by a supernatural force unable to set wheel on hallowed ground in its' relentless pursuit of human prey. Kathleen INCIDENT ON A DARK STREET Kennedy is just fine as the sheriff's plucky girlfriend who probably regrets cursing THE CAR to hell when it later tries to parallel park on her face. John Marley who worked with director Elliott Silverstein before on the 1965 western CAT BALLOU appears as an endangered senior deputy trying to save his desert community from the killing machine. Some low-end but excitingly staged stunt work and pyrotechnics help sell the concept. Based on an improbable and slightly silly script by Robert MURDER BY PHONE Butler and Dennis REVENGE ON THE HIGHWAY Shryack. THE CAR was listed as being one of the 100 Most Enjoyable Bad Movies Ever Made by Razzie founder John Wilson. The Shout Factory blu ray disc offers 3 brief interviews by way of bonus features and a theatrical trailer. Followed 42 years later by the instantly forgettable sequel THE CAR 2: ROAD TO REVENGE.

I watched THE CAR recently as a double feature with this throw-away sequel and marvelled at the differences between the two. THE CAR 2: ROAD TO REVENGE is unquestionably the better overall in terms of technical sophistication. The screen writers (Matt SHARKTOPUS VS WHALEWOLF Yamashita, Michael WEREWOLF: THE BEAST AMONG US Tabb & writer/director G.J. DEATHRACE 2050 Echternkamp) have densely woven a screenplay which borrows liberally from MAD MAX and CHRISTINE as much as the 1977 B-movie hit that inspired it and still manages to come up short by comparison. Part of the problem is the smallish budget and the other is Echernkamp. As a director his movie generates a couple of smiles during those scenes which are supposed to be laugh-out-loud funny and as a viewer you may raise an eyebrow here and there at the special effect stunt work but there's nothing that will make your eyes go wide. Grant Bowler; star of TV's DEFIANCE plays a hard nosed detective of a BLADE RUNNER-esque future world where cyborg gang members cosplaying ROBOCOP, A CLOCKWORK ORANGE and THE ROAD WARRIOR terrorize the law abiding citizens. An insane bio-engineer (Martin THE ENFIELD HAUNTING Hancock) and his steam-punkish terrorists kill an unpopular D.A. (Lee BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Barber) and inadvertently sign their own death warrants when the lawyers evil soul trans-migrates into the automotive body of his state-of-the-art sports car. The D.A.'s ex (Kathleen SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD Monroe) also looks like roadkill when she becomes the love interest of the cop investigating this brutal nonsense. There's enough cash & talent to float this Universal sequel's backlot boat but the competence of everyone involved makes for scant entertainment. THE CAR 2: ROAD TO REVENGE only comes to life during one clever homage to the cultish original featuring Ronnie Cox as a different character than who he played in THE CAR. It's a nice touch that'll earn an extra star from this badly aging geek but unless you were alive 40 years ago you probably won't get the significance of the scene with the mechanic or his unique car parts. Tolerable, mostly and vaguely disappointing. The studio data-dumped this discount-bin worthy disc with the sole bonus feature of being able to turn the subtitles off. Collectors will be disgusted!

Fresh off his critically panned grindhouse revenge thriller EXTERMINATOR II writer/director James Glickenhaus helmed this rather important film for Chinese studio Golden Harvest who invested millions in a slate of movies hoping to break into the American market. THE PROTECTOR was intended to be Jackie RUSH HOUR 4 Chan's 2nd US film after 1980's unpopular BATTLE CREEK BRAWL. He establishing himself as an action movie superstar in Hong Kong but was largely unknown in North America.. It may be Glickenhaus' best film but it's still not very good and Chan was so disgusted by his inability to capture the artistry of his performance he tried to quit but was contractually obligated to finish the shoot. The failure of the film delayed the Oscar winner's rise to stardom in North America untill the release of SUPERCOP. Chan plays an honest cop named Billy Wong battling police corruption and a powerful drug lord (Roy BLOODSPORT Chiao) aided by his new partner on the force (Danny THE LAST DON II Aiello). The pair travel to China and battle heavily armed goons to avenge the murder of a fellow cop. For it's Hong Kong release Chan extensively re-edited THE PROTECTOR and filmed additional sequences to highlight his skill as a matial artist and also developed a sub plot featuring a strong female character (Sally THE KILLER Yeh). The new material was prepared with the help of writer King Sang Tang who wrote the 1980 Chan hit THE YOUNG MASTER. The less sexist, less gratuitously bloody version rates an additional star and is worth a look for fans IF they can find a copy. Portions of THE PROTECTOR were recycled and cut into 1990's CHU DAO GUI JING (aka: MASTERS OF DISASTER).

NEW POLICE STORY (aka: CRIME STORY) may or may not be part of the official POLICE STORY franchise. It was made prior to JACKIE CHAN'S FIRST STRIKE (aka: POLICE STORY 4) and is not to be confused with 2004's NEW POLICE STORY which was considered a formal reboot also starring Chan. Chan plays a cop suffering from PTSD who's assigned to investigate the kidnapping of a disreputable businessman (Kar-Ying FROM BEIJING WITH LOVE Law) which was informally based on the real-life kidnapping of Teddy Wang in 1990. His whereabouts remain unknown to this day and no kidnappers were ever apprehended. The mastermind behind the sensational crime is a cop on the force (Kent IP MAN 4: THE FINALE Cheng) working with Chan to crack the case while undermining his determined partners' progress every step of the way. Chan & Cheng were both nominated for Best Actor at the 1994 Annual Hong Kong Film Awards for their exceptional work. The director (Kirk TAKING MANHATTAN Wang) also received a nomination as did the film itself for Best Picture surprisingly. CRIME STORY is good, but I didn't think it was that good. This is a much darker film than certainly I'm used to seeing from the beloved actor and frequently gratuitously violent. The only strong female character (a psychiatrist on the force) seems to have been left on the cutting room floor for overseas distribution and her absence in noticeable. Also, Chan appears to have inserted a few familiar slapstick action sequence which I thought were beautifully orchestrated but I also felt they went against the dramatic grain of the film. I'm betting if I'd watched the original cut I'd have rated this 7/10 but you work with what you've got and this dubbed edition rates a 6.

For the sheer physicality of Jackie Chan's performance POLICE STORY demands to be seen. Althought Chan was a major star in China he'd yet to make his mark in North America. His 1985 star vehicle THE PROTECTOR failed to find an audience and the reason was the action sequences weren't exciting. Chan wrote, directed & produced POLICE STORY through his newly formed Golden Way films with an eye to capturing his martial artistry & show casing his fluency with stuntwork. The always charismatic Oscar recipiant has plenty of opportunity to shine during those brillintly written scenes played entirely for laughs. In this smash hit 1st installment of the classic franchise Chan plays a cop who almost single-handedly apprehends a dangerous gangster (Chor HEAVENLY SWORD AND DRAGON SABRE 2 Yuen) fleeing the city on a hijacked bus. The criminal orchestrates framing Chan for the murder of another cop on the force to try to scuttle the case agaist the mob. Brigette SWORDSMAN II Lin and Maggie SUPERCOP Cheung play the women tangled in the charming cops personal affairs and outrageous attempts to bring a mob boss to justice. Followed by 7 sequels, a spin off. and more rip offs than I could count.

Legendary martial artist Jackie Chan delivers another smash-hit, action movie extravaganza in the rock-solid POLICE STORY franchise. He is a consumate performer capable of stuntwork that would make the Flying Wellendas blush. He sings, charms the pants off the ladies (the adorable May played by Maggie TWIN DRAGONS Cheung) & always finds the time to make us smile while battling the bad guys in fight sequences that will take your breath away. The main villain in POLICE STORY 2 was played by Chor THE SEVENTH CURSE Yuen who terrorizes the delightfully dysfunctional couple after being sprung from prison. The vengeful mobsters' henchman (porn star Charlie SNAKE MONSTER Cho) kidnaps May forcing Chan to participate in a terrorist bombing with 20 million in extortion money and countless lives at stake! The violence may seem non-stop but it's designed to dazzle not sicken. I only had a problem watchin the blooper reel over the end credits where actors & stuntmen suffer mishaps during filming. The original Hong Kong release is almost a half hour longer than the dubbed international cut and is the preferred version to watch given the opportunity. It's also refreshing to see the ladies in the cast given such strong characters to play. Followed by SUPERCOP.

In addition to the cultish success of 1996's RUMBLE IN THE BRONX Hong Kong superstar Jackie DRUNKEN MASTER II Chan made major in-roads into the North American action movie market with POLICE STORY III (aka: SUPERCOP). Jackie Chan and co-star Michelle STAR TREK: DISCOVERY Yeoh are sensational together as cops who infiltrate a deadly narcotics empire to take down it's kingpin and his army of goons. The drug-lord (Kenneth RUSH HOUR 2 Tsang) & his right hand man; Panther (Yuen CLEOPATRA JONES AND THE CASINO OF GOLD Weh) leverage the super-cops into breaking an accomplice out of jail by kidnapping Agent Chan's girlfriend May (Maggie INGLOURIOUS BASTERDZ Cheung). The stunt fights & choreography are truly superlative and the cast is as bright as a bag of dimes. Action fans are going to love this! Stick around for the end credits to watch the hysterical blooper reel. Yeoh was so popular as Agent Yang she received her own spin off ONCE A COP (aka: SUPERCOP 2). Stanley MR. MAGOO Tang directed this breathlessly paced adventure based on a witty & wild screenplay by Edward MR. NICE GUY Tang. Followed by POLICE STORY 4: STRIKE FORCE.

Diana THE WIZ Ross and Billy Dee STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER Williams gave screen lovers like Barbra Streisand & Robert Redford or Ali MacGraw & Ryan O'Neil a run for their money as favorite super couple of the 70s. They have chemistry to burn having worked together before on producer Berry Gordy's Oscar winning; LADY SING THE BLUES and you can't take your eyes off either of them for a second in this trashy pot-boiler from screen writer John SPHINX Byrum. The original director (Tony THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Richardson) was fired by the Motown legend who capably stepped into role. Ross plays an aspiring fashion designer in the ghettos of Chicago who falls head-over-heels for a gorgeous activist (Williams) who fights for families struggling to survive racism & unemployment within the community. Tracy must however follow her dreams and is swept into the world of high fashion when she's discovered by a jet-setting photographer played by PSYCHO himself Anthony Perkins. Perkins' character is a certified nut-case who goes coo-coo for cocoa puffs over the radiantly beautiful Ross & pushes her towards modeling. Tracy's dreams soon turn into a nightmare as the wealthy and powerful seek to exploit her talent and sexuality. Can she find her way back to the man she loves before it's too late? The multi-talented superstar designed some of the fabulous outfits worn during the runway sequences and earned an Oscar nomination for her chart-topping theme song 'Do You Know Where You're Going To?'. Look quick for Bruce OY VEY! MY SON IS GAY!! Vlanch in this slightly campy but smartly cast melodrama which also features Jean-Pierre WINDMILLS OF THE GODS Aumont and Nina ALIEN NATION: DARK HORIZON Foch in meaty supporting roles.

Poverty row studio The Producers Releasing Corporation filmed this formulaic remake of the 1936 murder mystery THE ROGUE'S TAVERN. George THE HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN Zucco plays the sinister proprietor of a spooky hotel which welcomes an unexpected host of characters one dark and stormy night. Frequent Monogram Pictures starlet Wanda JUNGLE GODDESS McKay and Robert Livingston play an eloped couple hiding out from the storm & her outraged father. Livingston may be best remembered for playing Stony Brooke in 29 of the 51 'The Three Mesquiteers' westerns made by republic Studios between 1936 & 1943. A man from the inn-keeper's past is there to settle a score and is the sudden appearance of a bank robber mere coincidence? Charles FLASH GORDON CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE Middleton is fun as the comic-relief detective snooping for the most obvious clues left by supporting castmates Glenn ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN Strange & Robert BLONDIE BRINGING UP BABY Middlemass. Fred THE MAD MONSTER Myton prepped the script for prolific director Sam WHITE PONGO Newfield. B&W

John THE SENTINEL Carradine is wonderfully depraved as an artist named Morrell who murders his models in fits of delusional rage after a bad experience with a prostitute. Jean MINESWEEPER Parker catches the serial killer's attention when she offers to design costumes for his puppets. Gay actor Nils NIGHT MONSTER Asther played the noire-ish detective alerted to Morrell's crimes when the face in one of the artist's paintings is recognized as being one of BLUEBEARD's recent victims. Ludwig THE CLIMAX Stossel steals a few scenes as the unscrupulous art dealer who's willing to permit the stranglings to continue indefinitely so long as the demand for Morrells' paintings remain high. Poverty row studio The Producers Releasing Corporation filmed this minor classic based on the 1697 story Barbe Bleue by French writer Charles Perrault. Pierre THE MONSTER MAKER Gendron & Arnold THE BRIGHTON STRANGLER Lipp adapting the screenplay for director Edgar THE AMAZING TRANSPARENT MAN Ulmer. An unexpected feather in the cap for all concerned especially Carradine who considers his performance in BLUEBEARD among his best. B&W

This would be the third of nine B movie features horror icon Bela DRACULA Lugosi made for poverty row studio Monogram & possibly their least interesting collaboration. Lugosi plays a treasonous plastic surgeon who replaces key Americans with transformed Japanese spies on the orders of The Dragon (I. Stanford THE VIOLENT YEARS Stanford). Clayton THE LONE RANGER Moore is on hand to save the day and win the heart of leading lady Joan SHADOW OF CHINATOWN Barclay. This was a rare foray for Lugosi outside of his comfort zone into the WWII propaganda genre. Writer Harvey THE CORPSE VANISHES Gates & director William DOOMED TO DIE Nigh tried to interject a few familiar 'old dark house' style thrills and elements of the fantastic into this lackluster mystery to no avail. The Black Dragon Society appeared in Monogram's 9th EAST SIDE KIDS caper; LET'S GET TOUGH earlier in the year. Lugosi himself starred in the 7th (SPOOKS RUN WILD) and 14th (GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE) films in the classic series. B&W

Mark REVOLT ON THE EMPIRE OF THE APES Polonia wrote/directed this DOG about group of young people in therapy after enduring decades of killer clown attacks in the CAMP BLOOD vicinity. I'm often critical of slasher movies (especially FRIDAY THE 13TH as a franchise) but when you subject yourself to something as miserable as CHILDREN OF CAMP BLOOD you come away with a sense of just how much more production value & talent you get with studio backing. The rock bottom special effects & gore is either substandard or substandard AND recycled from earlier installments and the cast of unappealing unknowns is no help whatsoever. This is the 10th dismal entry in the unpopular backyard franchise (11th if you count the unauthorized 2005 sequel WITHIN THE WOODS). As depressing as it is boring and frequently at the same time.

Poverty row studio Grand National Films opened shop in 1936 and survived just long enough to crank out this horse opera before closing it's doors the following year. Country western singer & western B-movie superstar Tex TENTING TONIGHT ON THE OLD CAMP GROUNDS Ritter and his faithful horse sidekick White Flash investigate land disputes between sheep herders & cattle ranchers. A wealthy land owner named Barrow (Karl SING, COWBOY, SING! Hackett) has been instigating the disruptions while simultaneously setting gang leader Trigger (Charles DEADWOOD DICK King) to take the fall. If all that rootin' and tootin' wasn't enough there's also the tangy, twangy musical stylings of The Beverly Hillbillies to sweeten the B&W pot! What you'd expect from screen writer Lindsley TROUBLE IN TEXAS Parsons and director Albert DELINQUENT DAUGHTERS Herman. Certainly, not for all tastes but genre addicts might have some fun with it.

Singing cowboys were big back in the day before they invented color and Tex RAINBOW OVER THE RANGE Ritter was of the same magnitude a performer as Roy Rogers even if some of the material he had to work with was occasionally cringe-worthy. The songs Tex has to sing aren't exactly Top of the Pops this time out and the Range Ramblers howling like coyotes on stage at the saloon fare no better. This could have used a little more love and attention from the lowly Grand National Films and producer Lindsley ROLLIN' PLAINS Parsons. Tex finds himself coming to the rescue of a young lady (Iris THE SON OF DAVEY CROCKETT Meredith) who's being hounded by a gang of hooded bandits terrorizing the ranchers. Along with his loyal steed White Flash our hero infiltrates the marauders to the consternation of the local sheriff (Earl THE PURPLE VIGILANTES Dwire) who can't tell the good guys from the bad. A below average B-movie western from writer Edmond TEX RIDES WITH THE BOY SCOUTS Kelso & director Ray FLASH GORDON CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE Taylor. B&W.

FRANKENHOOKER director Frank Henenlotter shot this micro budget slasher pic on 16 mm film for about as much as it costs to buy a used car. It looks as bad as that sounds. It's a murky mess with no visual appeal whatsoever and yet there's no denying it's limited value as a novelty. Kevin BASKET CASE 2 Von Hentenryck plays Duane; a deranged formerly co-joined Siamese twin who moves to a NYC flophouse with his tumorous, mutant brother who lives in a basket. The freak intends to murder the doctors who separated them at birth leaving Belial for dead. The monster is an unconvincing hand-puppet which is also briefly animated via amateurish stop motion and still manages to upstage the living cast all of whom could have been replaced with sock puppets without missing a beat. When Duane becomes smitten with a pretty receptionist some puerile sexual dysfunction is thrown into the mix to keep viewers from nodding off. It's film-school quality work every predictable step of the way and nowhere near as good as you've heard. Back in the day it stood out from the the generic low budget slasher pics glutting the market and developed into a cult item. How does it compare with the true cult classics like CARNIVAL OF SOULS or THE HILLS HAVE EYES? Badly in my my opinion but I'm giving BASKET CASE an additional star for exceeding everyone's expectations. It's a feather in the cap for the niche Henenlotter who made 2 less ambitious sequels.

Frank BAD BIOLOGY Henenlotter is a lousy director but his screenplay for BASKET CASE 2 moves at a nice clip so you don`t have a lot of time to digest how stupid it is till the credits roll. Mostly you`ll be mildly amused by this belated sequel to the minor 1982 cult classic. Having somehow survived their fall from a hotel window, Duane (Kevin BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGINY Van Hentenryck) & his drastically deformed twin brother Belial are taken in by a kindly distant relative named Granny Ruth (Annie STRAIGHT ON TILL MORNING Ross) and her lovely grand-daughter; Susan (Heather AS THE WORLD TURNS Rattray). At the safe house the psychotic brothers are introduced to the cartoonish freaks who live there in peace apart from the rest of the world. Belial finds himself attracted to a shy, repulsive monster who (like him) lives inside a wicker basket while Susan seems to offer Duane the chance at a normal life but the villain of the piece (Ted FROM BEYOND Sorrel) has other ideas. This unobjectionable slasher pic was shot by Henenlotter back-to-back with the equally mediocre FRANKENHOOKER. It`s never once even remotely scary & is about as funny as an episode of THE MUNSTERS. It`s far too amateurish & juvenile to recommend. Look for James Franko`s brother Tom as `Frog Boy`. Gabriel MUNCHIE Bartalos & Dan METAMORPHOSIS: THE ALIEN FACTOR Frye helped design the unconvincing make-up effects.

Tex Ritter rose to fame on the silver screen for his role of Tex Haines in a series of 16 B-movie westerns for the Producers Releasing Corporation but got his start making horse operas for rival poverty row studio Grand National Films. In his 3rd GNF appearance Tex and his trained stallion White Flash join a traveling show only to see the business attacked by an arsonist when they set up their wagons in Tombstone. Forrest THE MYSTERY OF THE HOODED HORSEMEN Taylor is the villain at large but our singing cowboy hero and his comic-relief sidekick Grass Hopper (Syd THE ADVENTURES OF RIN TIN TIN Salor) have to resort to unusual means to extoll some frontier justice. The Sheriff (Budd THE WHITE GORILLA Buster) gives them the opportunity when he hires them to collect $20, 000 in back taxes from the fire bug. Lindsley HEADIN' FOR THE RIO GRANDE Parsons and Sherman BLACKHAWK Lowe wrote this amiable oater for director John CAPTAIN AMERICA English. Look for future Frankenstein actor Glenn Strange as Henchman Pete. B&W

The singing cowboy genre found it's roots in the silent era, believe it or not but it wasn't until Gene Autry began crooning in Rupublic Studio hits like THE PHANTOM EMPIRE & THE SINGING COWBOY then rival studios began to glut the market with imitations. Fledgling poverty row studio Grand National Films hired Dorothy Page and Tex Ritter to star in their own musical B-movie westerns. Page's films flopped and she retired from acting after 1939s THE SINGING COWGIRL...the same year Grand National ceased production. Ritter (an Academy Award winning composer for HIGH NOON) made a living as a country musician IRL so was far more successful than Page at the box office. SONG OF THE GRINGO was the 1st of 9 adventures he made for GNF and it's one of his best. Tex and White Flash (a Champion knock off) puts down his guitar long enough to rescue a damsel (Joan BOSTON BLACKIE'S CHINESE VENTURE Woodbury) and infiltrate a den of murderous thieves. Ted BUCKAROO FROM POWDER RIVER Adams plays the desperado responsible for the death of several miners and the theft of their deeds but to prove it our hero must stand trial for murders he did not commit! John THE NEVADA BUCKAROO McCarthy wrote and directed this slightly charming serving of oats and cheese with an assist from Robert RAINBOWS OVER THE RANGE Emmett Tansey. Jose Pacheco and his Continental Orchestra hit enough right notes during the fiesta to have kept SONG OF THE GRINGO hoppin' along for nearly a century. B&W

The tagline on the poster insists 'Blood is thicker in water!' and if you think that's stupid you haven't seen anything yet! SHARK KILLER is the 27th installment in the Canadian Maneater franchise which began with 2007's GRIZZLY RAGE. The cheap tv movies were made for the SyFy network and routinely featured one or two nameable has-beens along with sloppy special effects to pad run-time between commercial breaks. A hot SHARK KILLER (Derek BABY DADDY Theler) is hired to retrieve a rare gem swallowed by a poorly rendered black finned shark. The practical fx fabrications and subpar CG never once comes close to being convincing. Paul TREMORS 6: A COLD DAY IN HELL du Toit plays a mob boss who wants the diamond the minute Chase cuts it from the monster's guts and instructs his girlfriend Jasmine to be there when it happens. Did I mention Chase was hot? Jasmine (Erica NANCY DREW Cerra) takes one look at SHARK KILLER-boy and her ankles are as good as in the air. The gangster sub plot gets even more time consuming when another crook want in on the badly directed 'action'. Richard PROM NIGHT IV: DELIVER US FROM EVIL Beattie provided the lazy, predictable script which co-author Sheldon SNOWMAGEDDON Wilson made twice as bad by directing. Lowly even by the subterranean standards of sharkploitation cinema.

Kate TOTAL RECALL Beckinsale plays a leather-clad werewolf assassin living the life of high tech luxury in a gothic mansion with the rest of her vampire coven. While on the hunt Selene encounters a mortal; Michael (Scott ANIMAL KINGDOM Speedman) the lycans need for their experiments into breeding a hybrid species. All this intrigue began over an eon ago when the lycans were kept as slaves to guard over their masters from dawn till dusk. Lucian (Michael THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Sheen); a slave, fell in love with a vampire who became pregnant & was ordered burnt at the stake to keep the bloodline pure. Lucian leads a revolt against the elder who murdered his vampire bride to be and unborn hybrid baby. To win the war and to have his revenge against Viktor (Bill I, FRANKENSTEIN Nighy) Lecian must obtain the mortal. Problem is Selene has grown fond of her human love interest in violation of the law of her coven. Kraven (Shane UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION Brolly) as acting CEO of the blood-thirsty clan demands she be executed for breaking covenant. There's a lot going on with everyone playing it with a straight face. Danny UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS McBride provided the screenplay based on a script outline courtesy of director Len LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD Wisemand and UNDERWORLD co-star Kevin Grievioux. Wiseman focuses on the action rather than the horror elements and succeeded beyond my expectations thanks to gorgeous production design across the boards and powerful visual FX. This breathlessly paced adventure has style to burn & was followed by 4 sequels and a pending netfix TV show. Fans of bonus features will be thrilled with the hours of extras included on the disc including audio commentaries and 4 'making of...' featurettes.

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION is a rip-roaring supernatural/action pic that'll get your adrenaline pumping regardless of the contrivances in the script which was prepped by returning writer Danny McBride & director Les TOTAL RECALL Wiseman. Selene (Kate VAN HELSING Beckinsale) and Michael (Scott XXX 2: THE NEXT LEVEL Speedman) are still fugitives searching for the origin of their respective species. The answer lies with the eldest of the vampires: Corvinus (David MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS Jacobi). Corvinus had 3 sons. The twins were transformed into a vampire and a werewolf when William (Brian LOST IN SPACE Steele) was infected by the bite of a wolf and Marcus a bat. An unbitten 3rd sibling remained mortal but passed down his hybrid dna to his descendant Michael. The 1st Lycan William was deemed too powerful & unstable and imprisoned by the elder Viktor (Bill I, FRANKENSTEIN Nighy) while Marcus entered his sarcophagus to bide his time. To keep the location of Williams' tomb secret it's architect (Selene's father) was murdered but his child still carries within her blood a trace of the memory. Marcus (Tony THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN Curran) knows this thanks to the traitorous Lucian (Michael THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 Sheen) and vows to taste Selene's blood to learn William's hiding place. The key to the prison is an amulet worn by Selene's hybrid lover and it's up to our heroes to reach the chamber before the twins can be reunited to spawn a conquering master race. Whew! There's a whole lot of palace intrigue for what is essentially a monster movie. The lycan transformations are strikingly effective for CG. CG werewolves have been breaking my heart since AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS but they work perfectly in the context of the UNDERWOLD franchise where there's no time to dawdle. I had fun with it. Followed by the 2009 prequel UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS.

Patrick Tatopoulos is a highly regarded production designer known to geeks for everything from LAWNMOWER MAN 2: JOBE'S WAR to BATTLEFIELD EARTH but he's no director. Danny UNDERWORLD McBride, Howard SHADOW OF A SCREAM McCain & Dick BLACK MASKS 2: CITY OF MASKS Blackman wrote this prequel to the popular franchise set in The Dark Ages. In a perfect bit of casting Rhoma DOOMSDAY Mitra plays the disloyal vampire Sonja whose tempestuous affair with a Lycan slave (Michael THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON Sheen) marks both for treason when it's discovered they're expecting. Bill HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS PART ONE Nighy chews the gothic scenery as the eternally irate vampire king but neither vampire nor werewolf has much to sink their teeth into. There's too much political drama where not enough action sequences should be. The exciting finale between the werewolf army and the nosferatu generates more suspense than you'd think for those familiar with the franchise narrative. As foregone conclusions go this one's not bad. A satisfying end to a mildly disappointing fantasy.

Kate VACANCY 2: THE FIRST CUT Beckinsale returns for the fourth film in the popular UNDERWORLD franchise as did her husband Len Wiseman who worked on the screenplay. Her former husband Michael Sheen, her former on-screen lover Scott Speedman & charactor actor Bill Nighy sat this installment out and are sorely missed; especially Nighy who knew how to chew the scenery in the best possible way. UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING opens with the capture of Selene & Michael by the military who have declared all-out war on the vampire and lycan population discovered living in their midst. Because of their unique supernatural abilities the couple are cryogenically frozen and kept for study by a secretive branch of the military called Antigen. When Selene is finally freed she's horrified to discover 12 years have passed during which the human populace have hunted their species to the brink of extinction and her escape was made possible by a hybrid child she gave birth to while a prisoner. India MY SWEET AUDRINA Eisley (who was almost 20 years old at the time) capably carries the role of Subect 2 (or Eve in the credits scroll) who is crutial to the agency because it's leader Dr. Lane (Stephen THE COMPANY OF WOLVES Rea) is himself a werewolf! The lycans infiltrated their enemies military and have been using Eve's genetic material to create an uber species of lycan with Lane's son as the 1st test subject. Guided by visions due to their shared blood mother and daughter are reunited and seek sanctuary with a coven of nosferatu led by Thomas (Charles DRACULA UNTOLD Dance) and his son David (Theo THE WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE MUSICAL DRAMA James). The heroes unite to retrieve Michael who's still on ice at the heavily fortified facility and recruit a mortal detective (Michael 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS Ealy) who lost his wife (a vampie) during the genocidal purge to get inside. But to do so Selene's going to have to fight Lane's son Quint (Kris NIGHT OF THE DEMONS III Holden-Ried) who heals instantly, is immune to silver and is about the size of a tank! A pair of Swedish directors I've never heard of (Mans SHED NO TEARS Marlind, Bjorn SHELTER Stein) made UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING using state of the art 3D technology and top-of-line cg animations to tremendous effect. On the downside, Rea delivers one of the blandest performances of his career leaving the film without a well-drawn antagonist and the finished screenplay was wildly inconsistant from scene to scene. Len LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD Wiseman, J. Michael MURDER SHE WROTE:A STORY TO DIE FOR Straczynski, John BLOOD DRIVE Hlavin & Allison BLOODFIST III: FORCED TO FIGHT Burnett were but a few of the scribes who scrambled to keep up with script changes throughout UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING's troubled production history. Screen Gems opted not to screen their brutally violent pic for critics which is never a good sign but it was an improvement over UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS in my opinion and served as a perfect launch point for both UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS and an announced netflix series.