#12KillsofChristmas2020

First Night... Monday the 14th.

Mini-Review: A late 2010's / early 2020's horror anthology from Epic Pictures and Shout! Factory here. So, the setup here is around a horror-themed 'advent calendar' (the titular 'Deathcember'), which the houses twenty-four segments in the film inside each of the 'windows' (these windows are represented by an item that appears in that segment). There's a lot of segments in this movie, so I'm only going to cover each very briefly before moving on (otherwise this might as well be a full review). The first segment ('A Door Too Far') is sort of like a 'you are what you eat' story (literally). This is pretty unremarkable here (although it does incorporate the 'advent calendar' theme). It's short but not particularly sweet (the chocolate bed is pretty gross, though), and it ends just how you think it will. The second segment ('All Sales Fatal') is a comedy horror about an irate customer at a department store. It's really dumb but kind of funny with a bloody ending (it's got decent performances and some appropriately quippy dialogue).

The third segment ('Aurora') is a futuristic Sci-Fi horror (I guess?) here. The main character speaks no dialogue (the only dialogue comes from a computer over an intercom). I don't have very many nice things to say about this, frankly (it's pretty bad and pointless with some mediocre CGI and a flimsy 'Christmas' connection). The fourth segment ('X-Mas on Fire') is a heist flick, and a sendup to City on Fire (1987). This is hardly a horror and mostly conforms to the typical heist flick tropes (flashbacks and betrayals galore). It's kind of meh, but it works for parody purposes. The fifth segment ('Villancicos') is a comedy horror about a kid on life support who needs constant caroling in order to stay alive. It's really stupid but sort of funny at times, and gets super absurd during the ending. The sixth segment ('Joy to the Girls') is a supernatural horror that deals with a witch coven or something. It's pretty predictable and bare bones, but the girls are nice to look at (and that's about it, I'm afraid).

The seventh segment ('The Hunchback of Burg Hayn') is a black and white silent monster movie (with full title cards). The 'monster' has some weird and unconvincing makeup (although I did like the eyeball). The ending is dark, but you can see it coming from a mile away. This is clearly going for a certain aesthetic but it doesn't quite nail it. The eighth segment ('Family Matters') is a body horror which centers on a bizarre family ritual that involves incest and worm creatures. The visuals are uneven in here (sometimes they look good, but other times they don't). This didn't do much for me and I didn't care for it, ultimately. The ninth segment ('Crappy Christmas: Operation Christmas Child') is a claymation about evil priests and such (religious horror, I guess). It's comically over the top with some really stupid death scenes. It's got a dark opening and a trash ending with plenty of toon gore in between.

The tenth segment ('Five Deaths in Blood Red') is a slasher. I guess this is supposed to be a play on Giallo movies, but it ends up being fairly generic. The kills are bloody, the gore is trashy, the acting is bad, the audio is weirdly terrible, and the twist is telegraphed from miles away (again). The eleventh segment ('Kill Santa') is, uh, I'm not sure what it is (lol). I just know that it's really moronic, makes little sense, reveals nothing, and I really hated it (it's probably the second worst segment in the movie - shout out to the terrible beheading). The twelfth segment ('Bad Santa') is a home invasion flick. This one is pretty simple but it works for the most part. It's got a good cast and a shocking and pretty funny ending (shout out to the comically oversized cleaver). The thirteenth segment ('Santa Is Coming') is an Eastern horror about a creepy child and her degenerate father. This doesn't do anything particularly interesting and there's little substance here. It's got a decent production value and that's about it.

The fourteenth segment ('A Christmas Miracle') is another supernatural horror here. It concerns a woman who makes a dark deal with a witch to bring her baby back to life. It's kind of a standard here, but it's decently filmed with some above average makeup. Barbara Crampton makes a cameo appearance as the witch, and is easily my favorite character in the film. This segment also might be my favorite overall in the movie. The fifteenth segment ('Lost Cottage in the Countryside') is a comedy horror (I suppose) by Ruggero Deodato (of Cannibal Holocaust (1980) fame, and the poster even appears in the movie, too). It's about a family who pulls a grim prank on another family member, which results in an even more grim reaction. It's a short and dark but pretty comedic offering. The sixteenth segment ('Milk and Cookies') is a slasher-like about a psycho killer who helps a downtrodden kid with his problems. It's probably about what you'd expect, but it does have a good cast and an uplifting and bloody ending.

The seventeenth segment ('Pig') is a rape and revenge thriller. Well, I got one positive thing to say about this one, and it's that the 'brain poke' kill is pretty fun. The rest of this is just horrible. The story is trash and has pretty much nothing to do with Christmas (or even anything adjunct to the Christmas season). It's garbage and is easily the worst segment in the movie. The eighteenth segment ('They Once Had Horses') is a Weird West black and white type deal. There's not much to this one. It's simple with a decent script and good acting. It finishes on kind of a 'meh' note. The nineteenth segment ('December the 19th') is yet another comedy horror about a pair of clumsy Serbian girls (who only speak English for some reason). It's so stupid and weird, and doesn't really have much of a point at all. There's some nice dumb gore and a bit of nudity but that's it. The twentieth segment ('Getting Away From It All') is even another comedy horror about some Scrooge who gets owned by some Christmas carolers. It's got some great gore, a good lead, and a decent pacing, which offsets the weird camera angles and weirder ending.

The twenty-first segment ('Family Feast') is a psychological horror about a woman who sees her family as a bunch of monsters (or demons, or whatever). It's a pretty boilerplate offering overall with an expected ending (it does have some nice visual effects, though). The twenty-second segment ('Before Sundown') is a monster movie here. It's another one that doesn't really do much with its premise and features a bland ending (the characters are pretty dumb, but the creature has a cool design, though). The twenty-third segment ('Cracker') is another Sci-Fi horror here. It's a strange retro future atmosphere with some 'killer' holiday crackers. It's pretty creative and kind of funny, which ends with a fun animated sequence and a juicy head explosion. The twenty-fourth segment ('Operation Dolph') is a crime thriller about some maniac in a Santa costume who ambushes drug dealers in the desert. It's really offbeat with some gratuitous and nonchalant murder and mayhem, and a pretty weird ending.

Final thoughts, the wraparound segment (if you can even call it that) is set in an abandoned cabin which contains the items that I mentioned earlier. It's entirely CGI and is preceded by a CGI opening credits sequence (which leads us to the cabin). There's also two additional segments which occur in the ending credits (well, one does - the other happens after the credits). The twenty-fifth segment ('Christmas Corpse') is a supernatural horror about a cursed document of sorts. It's pretty straightforward, but it's got a good production value (the visual effects and the cinematography both pop) and adequate acting. It ends on a dark (but not unexpected) note. The twenty-sixth segment ('They Used to Laugh and Call Him Names') is another monster movie here. It's also another straightforward deal here: killer Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer terrorizes a family in the backwoods. It's really campy (the most campy in the entire movie), but it works in here. It's kind of funny and it's got a good look, which makes up for the meh acting and bleh ending. As a complete package, I can't really recommend this. It's a fun idea, but it's not consistent enough to justify the long runtime (it has its heart in the right place, but it's just too much of a slog to get through, unfortunately).

Rating: 4/10 (Mediocre)
Best Character: The Witch (Barbara Crampton)

Second Night... Tuesday the 15th.

Mini-Review: A mid 2010's monster movie / supernatural slasher from Uncork'd, which has the same director as Krampus Unleashed (2016) and the same crew as Krampus Origins (2018). So, despite having the same director and film crew as those other Krampus movies, this has nothing to do with those (and really none of these movies are connected to each other at all). This is how this goes: a doctor and a detective investigate a series of grisly murders which may or may not be connected to a strange little girl. This story combines monster movie stuff (with Krampus appearing) and a supernatural slasher angle (with Zoe being able to summon Krampus to 'punish' people). It's a pretty straightforward story, but it isn't too bad (it'll hold your attention - probably). The structure and pacing mostly falls in line with expectations, but it does trail off a little bit in the third act (there's some filler-y scenes sprinkled in there).

The performances are mostly mediocre to average here (I'd say it's about what you'd probably expect from something like this, frankly - Zoe is probably the best in here, but light shout out to Miles). Zoe Weaver is also the main villain here. She has a special doll (it's like a voodoo doll) which she can use to summon Krampus. She's got a very blunt and mean-spirited attitude (which leads to some funny lines) and she's implied to be a 'supernatural' figure herself. Krampus himself looks like trash (out of these Robert Conway Krampus movies, he looks slightly better in here than in Krampus Origins - Krampus Unleashed is easily the best). He's entirely CGI in here, and his animations are super janky (the character model itself is rough and unpolished as well). The climax and ending are pretty light but also pretty twisty (that twist itself is mostly successful).

Final thoughts, this being a monster-slasher hybrid, of course, means that there's kills in here, and they're pretty average overall (they're pretty much all 'burnings', but it's like the victims are melting). There's some gore in a couple of kills, but it's mostly trashy (the aftermath on the charred corpses looks nice, though). The camerawork is above average for something like this (most of these types of movies either have boring shots or really bad shots - the shots in this are mostly decent). The sound editing is pretty bad and inconsistent in here (the mixing is the main culprit - shout out to Miles' obviously muffled mic in the hospital scene, lol). There's some nudity in here, but none of it is really any good (shout out to the gross sex scenes). I got one stray shout out to the opening 'story time' sequence. This has competent and mediocre aspects in it. It doesn't really do much to standout, but it is probably the best of these three Krampus movies (and a pretty average offering overall).

Rating: 5/10 (Average)
Best Character: Zoe Weaver (Amelia Haberman)

Third Night... Wednesday the 16th.

Mini-Review: An early 2010's thriller slasher (thrasher) from IFC here. Well, this is just a really stupid movie here. Okay, stick with me here: this trio of office workers visit a desolate ATM in an open parking lot, and get ambushed and terrorized by a maniac in a parka. Simple story, right? It is - so simple in fact that it falls apart when you start to think about it for more than a second. It's pretty much a full idiot plot to accompany this dumb story here (it really goes out of its way to make this seem believable, but the characters are super annoying and complete morons and the maniac, who isn't even that clever, just bullies them for their stupidity). Despite this, the structure is sound and the pacing is decent (I think I watched the R-Rated Cut, and it doesn't really lag too much at any point).

The performances are committed but they don't do a good job of selling this ludicrous scenario (Alice Eve is probably the best here, but light shout out to Josh from Drake & Josh). The killer, who is never given an identity (he's referred to as 'the Man' in the ending credits), is your standard 'movie maniac' here. They try to set him up as being some kind of 'mastermind', but those efforts are deflated big time by the idiotic actions of the victims (they show him devising his master plan in the opening, but, in the end, it just boils down to literally one simple thing). He doesn't have any 'main weapon', and mostly just uses whatever's at his disposal. His disguise is a parka and a balaclava (they should've just given him some oversized goggles to complete the Captain Cold look - especially since his identity doesn't even matter). The climax features the stupidest sequence in the movie, and the ending is a dumb downer.

Final thoughts, this having some slasher DNA, of course, means that there's kills in here, and they're pretty unimpressive (they are kind of savage, but mostly straightforward - 'taste the chrome!' is my highlight). As far as the technical aspects are concerned, this is competently made (the camerawork looks the part and the audio sounds about right) and is clearly meant to be as low budget as possible (and its apparent actual budget seems to confirm this). This most rotten part of this movie is easily the script, which, while not having the best dialogue, really tries its hardest to stretch out the moronic story (the victims just take turns passing around the idiot ball until the conclusion - it becomes so stupid and annoying that it might as well be a screwball comedy after a certain point). I got one stray shout out going out to the jackass janitor who gets what's coming to him. This is a stupid trash movie, but it's well made so that keeps it from being legitimate garbage. The concept, which is played brutally straight here, relies on the characters being imbeciles, and just leads to a really bad experience here.

Rating: 3/10 (Bad)
Best Character: Emily (Alice Eve)

Fourth Night... Thursday the 17th.

Mini-Review: A 2020's killer toys / haunted house / supernatural holiday horror mashup from WB here. This sort of reminds me of an updated version of Demonic Toys (1992) (but with less gore and somehow worse effects, lol). This centers on a family, who restores old houses and sells them for profit, who purchase a haunted mansion with evil toys inside that terrorize them on Christmas Eve. It's basically Demonic Toys but set in a different location (and has that same low budget feel as Demonic Toys). The plot flows nicely enough (they do take their time to setup before the carnage starts), but this story pretty much plays out like you're probably expecting it to (I guess there is something of a twist but it's largely telegraphed and not particularly shocking or surprising).

The performances seem adequate for the most part in here (there weren't really any standouts here - everyone is about the same, and I can't really think of anyone who I favored here). The toys are obviously the villains here, but 'Uncle Monkey' seems to be the 'main' one (but he's not the 'leader', per se, that would probably be that Shelf Elf). Uncle Monkey looks the best out of the toys, and the rest of them are pretty plain looking (a couple of them are cameos from other WB properties like Speed Buggy and the Banana Splits). There's not much to them, frankly (their entire plan is to kill the kids, and that's it). They get dispatched pretty easily by the adults (which, I guess, is mostly realistic, lol). The climax and final confrontation get pretty dark, but it ends on an uplifting note.

Final thoughts, there's a couple of kills in this (obviously, it's killer toys), and they're sort of bloody but not too gory ('one bad splinter', which features probably the most bloody shot in the movie, is my highlight). The visual effects in this are fairly mediocre (the effects to animate the toys looks to be stop motion (which, again, is similar to Demonic Toys), and it looks really cheesy and fake - this leads to most of the 'serious' scenes coming off as really campy instead). Despite this being seemingly low budget VOD fodder, this is decently filmed and nicely assembled (the camerawork, lighting, soundtrack, etc. - most of the technical aspects are about on point here). I got two stray shout outs going out to the 'Survive or Don't' fake 8bit game and the grotesque 'baby no-face' shot. This seems competently made and decently acted, but the unimpressive effects and derivative story lower the quality here. It doesn't have the charm of something like Demonic Toys (1992) or Puppet Master (1989), and just seems to be, as mentioned, fodder for VOD.

Rating: 4/10 (Mediocre)
Best Character: None

Fifth Night... Friday the 18th.

Mini-Review: A late 80's monster movie / action comedy horror from AIP here. I guess this is supposed to be an exploitation knock-off or sendup (or whatever) to Gremlins (1984). This is a doozy: Nazis are a thing and they're trying to use an elf to create the 'master race' through some kind of weirdo birthing ritual with a 'genetically pure' human female. This has one of the weirdest stories (especially for a movie of this caliber), and it pretty much goes completely off the rails in the third act ('it's a goddamn circus!' exclaims Mike, and that pretty much sums it up, frankly - the Professor breaking down the deal with the Nazis and the elf, at Christmas dinner no less, is just super absurd). The structure and runtime are standard here, but the pacing is a slow at times (mostly in the second act, where it gets particularly wonky).

The cast is serviceable to decent in here (Mike is probably the best and my favorite, but shout out to Kirsten and Willy, and r a r e shout out to Agamemnon). Contrary to the title, there's actually only one elf in the movie. He's got a cheap looking appearance, which leads to some campy moments in here (I watched this in standard definition, since there's no Blu-ray release of this yet, and the flaws are even noticeable in here, too). The elf's goal is to 'get with' Kirsten, but he also indulges in some gratuitous murder (he uses weapons to commit his kills, including a Luger pistol - which looks hilarious). The climax features an annoying 'blurry cam', and the ending itself is kind of simplistic with the final scene implying a downer note (well, actually, it's probably the 'credits scene'?).

Final thoughts, there's some slasher-like killings in here, which get pretty bloody at times ('the crotch chopper' is my highlight). There's plenty of action set pieces and explosions in here (including a hilarious car chase sequence). There's also some limited nudity in here (including a gratuitous bathing scene). The production value of this seems low budget at times (the camerawork in particular appears lackluster - the soundtrack has some rough editing as well). The comedic value is mostly good in here (I liked the intentional stuff (like Willy dropping F-bombs and Mike beating up the Nazi - 'how many teeth you got?!'), but I also like the unintentional stuff as well (like Gramps slapping Kirsten or Santa chopping his breakfast on a mirror). This is a pretty adequate effort for the most part. It's low budget 80's trash (the movie is kind of mean-spirited but also pretty funny), and it exploits its content well enough.

Rating: 6/10 (Decent)
Best Character: Mike (Dan Haggerty)

Sixth Night... Saturday the 19th.

Mini-Review: A mid 2010's sharksploitation and monster movie from MarVista and SYFY here. This isn't a Christmas movie (it's actually a Spring Break movie), but it's got a snowy theme, so that felt 'good enough' for this list. This is a SYFY original movie here, and it's pretty much everything you could probably expect from something like this. So, the story here has a supernatural angle and is about a mountain ski resort, which 'somehow' disturbs an Indian burial ground and unleashes a 'ghost shark' to rampage on vacationers there. It's a tried and true setup of these trash movies, and it works out just as well here as those other flicks. The story itself is stupid, but it's SYFY and it gets the job done as far as this is concerned (and that job is to provide plenty of cheesy carnage and girls in skimpy bikinis).

The cast is about on par with what to expect from a SYFY original here (really cheesy and hammy without any real standouts here - like most of this movie, they get the job done and I guess Carol might have been my favorite). The ghost shark(s), called the 'Skookum', are basically just regular sharks (their look isn't too unique, but it is somewhat altered). They get an origin story (which gets interrupted randomly for ski footage initially, lol), which follows the typical 'Indian burial ground' trope. They travel through the snow and can 'teleport' between the snow patches. They're mindless killing machines for the most part, and are there to gruesomely murder the vacationers (as apart of the Native Americans' revenge curse). The climax features a very dumb way of 'defeating' the Skookum (but it's par for the course, I guess), and the ending seems to suggest that there's more to come (which there isn't).

Final thoughts, the visual effects aren't particularly great, but they seem about average for the TV trash movies (the sharks aren't very convincing, but they don't get too much screentime, so that balances it out - the CGI on the blood looks really fake, but the practical effects on the gore look somewhat decent). There's kills in this, and they're mostly good in here (lots of sharks gobbling up victims - 'half now, half later', which features probably the best gore shot, is my highlight, but shout out to the random head explosion). There isn't any real nudity in here, but there is plenty of good looking girls in skimpy bikinis (as mentioned). There's a comedic angle in here (obviously), and most of it is pretty 'meh' (I guess I liked the bits with Wade the best - his accidental elbow on Maddie and the 'I'm not crazy, I'm a marine' delivery). This is very campy, but it seems to know what it is. It's not a good film by any stretch of the imagination, but I can't say that I hated watching it (if you like these SYFY shark movies, then you'll probably like this - it's just stupid and absurd enough to offer a modestly entertaining experience).

Rating: 5/10 (Average)
Best Character: Carol (Nicole Helen)

Seventh Night... Sunday the 20th. (SLASHER SUNDAY)

Mini-Review: An early 80's supernatural backwoods slasher from Huskypup and Vinegar Syndrome here. So, this is a strange one here - it blends together a bunch of different things, and certainly provides an 'interesting' result with them. The story here goes like this: after some young adults return to their childhood home to join their parents for Christmas, they are stalked and hunted by a supernatural samurai. The plot has a nontraditional structure (it's not really a 'vignette' style, but stuff just sort of 'happens' without much setup), but its pacing is still mostly decent (even though it seems random, it's still pretty engaging). I'm not even sure what to really make of the story, honestly (almost none of the supernatural stuff is even alluded to before it happens - it all just shows up after a certain point without explanation, and we're off to the races).

The performances are serviceable to actually pretty decent in here (Sarah is probably my favorite in here, but shout out to Cathy, Dolly and Gary). The killer is an unnamed samurai. He's a supernatural figure (I guess he's supposed to be a ghost or something) and is never given an origin or explanation for why he's there (Sarah just finds his gear in a trunk one night and then he shows up - she seems to have a psychic link to the samurai 'for some reason'). The samurai obviously wears his armor and gear, but it's not really a disguise. He uses a couple of weapons, but favors his katana sword. The kills are bloody, but not particularly gory ('light archery practice' is my highlight). The climax just goes full weird with some strange psychic battle (these psychic powers are never elaborated on and just appear out of nowhere), and it ends on a seemingly upbeat note.

Final thoughts, the special effects are mostly some glorious 80's cheese (you've got a splash of decent looking gore effects in aftermath shots, but you've also got some really cheesy visuals on the 'psychic powers' effects - it just gets like a blue or red glowing outline, which looks exactly the way you're thinking it does). There's also random color overtone 'flashes' during 'shocking' moments (the color overtone is also used to display the samurai's 'killer vision'). There's some nudity in here (not much, though - most of it is from Sarah). The audio quality is sometimes pretty poor in here (there's a few problems here: the volume goes low at certain points, it gets muffled, and there's random feedback and distortions). Despite the sound issues, the score is pretty great in here (it's got a nice variety, too - dark synths, fast violins, and classical pieces). The rest of the technical aspects are adequate enough in here (cinematography, lighting, etc.). I got one stray shout out going out to Sarah's possessed hip thrusts (lol). Like I mentioned at the top of this, this is a bizarre movie. It probably shouldn't work out, but it does. It's a uniquely entertaining and a pretty fascinating offering, which will keep your attention throughout its runtime.

Rating: 8/10 (Great)
Best Character: Sarah (Claudia Peyton)

Eighth Night... Monday the 21st.

Mini-Review: A late 2000's supernatural horror from Sony here. This is fairly mundane overall here - even after the supernatural stuff starts to occur. This is how it goes: random girl and 'guy' set off on a road trip and end up stranded on some desolate backwoods road, which seems to be haunted. There's not much going on with this plot or storywise (it moves along briskly enough, but none of the events are particularly interesting or noteworthy). The performances are adequate enough in here (there's only a few characters in here, but they're all mostly well-acted - Emily Blunt is probably the best here, but shout out to Martin Donovan as well).

Martin Donovan's character, the 'Highway Patrolman', is also the main villain here. He's like a corrupt cop who terrorizes people that drive on that backwoods road. His origin is shown in flashbacks and reveals that he's been massacring people on this mountainside for a while. He's a supernatural figure (and apparently has the ability to 'frostbite' his victims), but he isn't connected to the other revenants that appear (like the ghostly priests). The climax (which is where the patrolman's origin is revealed) is pretty weak and kind of dumb (pretty much everyone's actions before the 'reset'). It finishes on a mostly upbeat note.

Final thoughts, this seems like a lower budget feature here (I can't find the estimates, but the limited locations and cast suggests a lower end budget). There's some CGI shots in here (mostly in regards to the ghosts and stuff), and they're pretty bad looking (it's the 2000s, and the CGI around then always looks kind of iffy, but this could be a result of the apparently low budget in here - the guy with the snake looks the worst). The other special effects and makeup look decent enough in here (the injuries and the ghostly figures look alright). The rest of the technical aspects are about average in here (the landscape shots look pretty great, but the rest looks just 'good enough'). I got one stray shout out going out to the gratuitous foot fetish scene. This definitely isn't anything to write home about. It's similar to ATM (2012), but with nowhere near as dumb writing. I can't say that I enjoyed it too much (it's nicely paced, well-acted and adequately made, but its actual content is pretty plain and lackluster).

Rating: 5/10 (Average)
Best Character: Girl (Emily Blunt)

Ninth Night... Tuesday the 22nd.

Mini-Review: A late 2010's British holiday comedy horror zombie musical from Vertigo here. This isn't quite what I was expecting (in a few ways), but it was also better than I was expecting. So, the story here is about a town which looks forward to its upcoming Christmas celebration, but gets interrupted by a sudden zombie invasion. It's pretty straightforward and it doesn't really dwell on the specifics (no explanation is given for the zombies - they just show up randomly). I watched the 'Extended Cut' here, (which clocks in at about ten minutes longer than the regular version), and the pacing is still pretty decent in here (the setup takes some time, but that's about it).

The performances are good across the board here (I guess Anna is probably the best here, but shout out to Savage and Steph (who seems to speak with an American accent for some reason)). Arthur Savage is also the main villain here. He's basically a psychopath from Dead Rising (before the outbreak he's pretty unhinged, but after the outbreak he's full blown psycho). He takes advantage of the zombies and uses them to wreak havoc on his victims. The climax is basically a 'boss battle' with Anna facing off against Savage (again, it pretty much plays out like a psychopath fight from Dead Rising). It seems to end on a hopeful note (which I guess could be seen as a sequel hook).

Final thoughts, this being a zombie flick means that there's kills in here, and they're extremely bloody with some great gore ('strike and a spare' is my highlight - quick aside: I was not expecting this to be as brutal or gruesome as it ended up being, so that was a strange but pleasant surprise). The rest of the visuals and makeup are quite good in here (the injuries look good, the zombies are decent, and even the CGI is fairly convincing). The overall production value seems higher than it probably was in here (this is very well-made and looks and sounds great - the indication of its budget is the limited locations). The comedic aspect of this is mostly good in here (I enjoyed most of the bits (especially Savage's antics), and they all seemed nicely timed).

There are also dramatic moments in here, which actually get pretty dark (another sort of shocking 'mood whiplash' that I wasn't expecting). Since this is a musical that means that there's going to be plenty of musical numbers in here (and there are). I'm not generally a fan of musicals, but most of these numbers were fairly good (and they actually did advance the plot as well). Most of the songs were front loaded at the beginning, and just sprinkled in here and there throughout the rest (pretty much after the zombies show up the songs lessen). I got one stray shout out to the classic 'friend zone leads to dead zone' trope ('look how they massacred my boy!'). Overall, this sort of feels like a modern version of Shaun of the Dead here, but the added musical angle does make it different enough to stand on its own. The execution is pretty much perfect and it succeeds in providing a thoroughly entertaining and unique experience here.

Rating: 10/10 (Masterwork)
Best Character: Anna (Ella Hunt)

Tenth Night... Wednesday the 23rd.

Mini-Review: A late 80's video slasher from Lionsgate, which is the third installment of the Silent Night, Deadly Night series. This is a pretty straightforward slasher here (and doesn't get nearly as wacky or bonkers as the previous two entries). The story here picks up from the last movie and revolves around a blind girl who forms a psychic link with Ricky Caldwell, which leads to him escaping from a mental facility and resuming his killing spree. As you can see, this is the standard 'escaped mental patient' setup (which sort of was the case in the previous entry as well), and it plays that setup pretty straight here. There is sort of a different angle with the psychic visions and stuff, but it doesn't really lean too far into the supernatural stuff (like, apart from the visions, there's pretty much nothing else from that subgenre).

The cast is adequate to above average in here (Laura is my favorite here, but shout out to Jerri, played by Laura Harring in her film debut, and Ricky, who is played by Bill Moseley this time). Ricky Caldwell returns as the killer. He's pretty much a walking vegetable in here (his colorful personality from Part 2 is completely gone, and he's mostly just a mindless killing machine). He doesn't wear a disguise (no Santa costume reprisal here), but he does have a giant dome over his skull, which houses his exposed brain. He seems to favor a scalpel as his main weapon (which he acquires early on at the hospital). The kills are fairly basic, but they do have a good amount of blood (and gore in aftermath shots - 'from ear to ear' is my highlight). The climax and final confrontation is sort of subdued (it's not very climactic), and the ending seems ambiguous (the final shot in particular).

Final thoughts, the makeup, costuming and special effects are mostly good in here (the gore (like the beheaded guy), the injuries (like Ricky getting stabbed in the forearm), and Ricky's brainpan (with full brain juice inside) - it gets the job done, and then some). There is some nudity in here, but not much (it's like one scene - the gratuitous bathing scene with Jerri). The soundtrack, while adequate, seems kind of light in here (or rather, there's some scenes where I would've thought that there'd be 'something', but it was just the regular environment sound). The camerawork in here is mostly average and kind of basic (it's a Direct-to-Video flick here, but they never really get too stylish or fancy in here - like the rest of the movie, it's just pretty bare bones). I got three stray shout outs going out to Ricky's 'brainy beanie', Ricky straight up hitchhiking (yes), and the random photograph of Martin Luther King Jr. in Granny's house (so bizarre). This doesn't really do anything special or especially noteworthy here. It's a pretty standard slasher here, but it does receive a good boost from its cast and special effects, which puts it ahead of some of these other late 80's video slashers.

Rating: 7/10 (Good)
Best Character: Laura (Samantha Scully)

Eleventh Night... Thursday the 24th. (CHRISTMAS EVE)

Mini-Review: A late 80's action horror from Universal, which is the second installment of the Phantasm series. This isn't really a Christmas horror - I really just wanted to continue the 'Christmas Phantasm' tradition from last year. This does have more action than the previous entry, but it also seems a bit more 'lean' than its predecessor. So, the story here is basically a road movie: After escaping the Tall Man following the previous movie, Mike and Reggie embark on a trip to take down the Tall Man and finish their vendetta once and for all. It's fairly straightforward, but there is a subplot with the Tall Man terrorizing another victim (everything converges in the third act, of course). Despite the 'plainness' of the plot, the story does get the job done here.

The performances are mostly great and about on par with the previous entry (Reggie and the Tall Man both return here, with the Tall Man being my favorite, but Mike gets recast - Mike's new actor is mostly good here). The Tall Man is obviously the main villain here. He's pretty much the same as before. He gets more murder spheres and seems a bit more 'active' in the plot than the previous movie (him, his spheres and even his little minions). There's kills in this (just like the first movie), and they're a little more 'elaborate' in here ('I'm melting!' and 'minion multikill' are my highlights). The climax is similar to the original (and features another glimpse of the Tall Man's 'world'), and the ending is hilariously awesome ('no, it's not!').

Final thoughts, the action set pieces are bigger and better in here, and I enjoyed pretty much all of them (especially the actionized opening with multiple explosions). The special effects and makeup also get an upgrade in here (the gore is fantastic and there's also some grotesque body horror - like the 'creatures' that burst from body wounds). Although the structure is sound, the pacing is uneven (the first and third acts are both fast paced with lots of action, but it sort of meanders around in the second act). I liked the (unintentional?) comedic moments in the movie (like the murder sphere in that guy's mouth and Liz's reaction to Mike or Liz hitting that minion - 'I'm sorry, Grandma!'). I got two stray shout outs going out to the 'assembling the arsenal' montage (with the awesome quad-barrel shotgun) and the world famous chainsaw duel (featuring 'the crotch saw'). This flexes its higher budget well, but it does come off as a 'Hollywood' version of the first movie. Even still, it manages to follow the spirit of the original, and offers up some awesome action and great gore.

Rating: 8/10 (Great)
Best Character: The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm)

Twelfth Night... Friday the 25th. (CHRISTMAS DAY)

Mini-Review: A late 2010's supernatural slasher from Blumhouse and Universal, which serves as a reboot of Black Christmas (1974). Well, there's probably not much that I can say about this that hasn't already been said - this is a really trashy movie (and not the good kind of trash either - the worst kind of trash). This isn't a 'remake' (loose or otherwise) of the original Black Christmas - the story here goes its own way: during their winter break, a group of sorority sisters are stalked and picked off by a masked killer. That might sound similar to the original (or even the actual remake, Black X-Mas (2006)), but it really isn't (it goes off the rails almost immediately and the rest of it is only a shallow reference to the original). This story goes out of its way to maim the viewer with its theme (most of the time the theme is stated, but in a subtle way - not here, though). I really hated this story, but the plot does have a brisk pacing.

The performances and the characters themselves are all trash (I hated pretty much everyone here; the 'heroines', the villains, even the random bystanders - they all sucked, and I wished that they were all killed by the end). The killer doesn't really do much here, and prefers to operate from the shadows. Their disguise is a black robe and a nondescript mask (very boring and basic look, to be honest). They use a couple of weapons, but seem to favor a bow and arrow. Their motivation and origin is just about the stupidest thing I've ever seen (mostly in regards to the killer reveal, which is exceedingly dumb). The kills are mostly trash and bloodless with no gore whatsoever ('an arrow to the face is worth two in the bush' is my highlight). The climax and ending are back to back, and are mostly terrible with a very unsatisfying finish (I hated pretty much everything involved with the final confrontation).

Final thoughts, the visual effects and CGI are likewise trash (just like the pathetic kills - a lot of them are very unadorned and unconvincing). The screenwriting is quite putrid in here (the dialogue is oftentimes extremely rotten - most of Kris' lines are hilariously bad and very cringy). Most of the camerawork is pretty boring and lame in here (the composition is weird overall and the lighting is poor, especially during the sorority house scenes). The editing seems choppy and disorganized at times (the flow and cuts between certain scenes are strange and don't do a good enough job building off of each other). I guess one positive aspect I can say about this is that the direction seems somewhat competent (lol). I got one stray shout out going out to Claudette who steals the show (LOL). This misses the point entirely and just ends up being total trash. It's just a useless ham-fisted disgrace, but it does do a splendid job at tarnishing the name and reputation of one of the greatest slashers of all-time.

Rating: 1/10 (Useless)
Best Character: None