The worst superhero movies I've watched

There are some of the worst actors I have ever seen. Particularly horrible is Justin Wingenfeld; what the hell is his character, how old is he?! Lucinda Knoxx a.k.a. supervillain Femtilian is not much better. The story is a crap (and the parts they just copied from Spider-Man are a grotesque version), as the whole film is just an excuse for softcore. The web being expelled from that place is a ridiculous joke. Visual effects and fight coreographies are the worst you may imagine.

Horrible effects (some of the worst I have ever seen), terrible acting, grotesque soundtrack, pathetic Nazi villains, prejudices against the Iraqi, stupid plot, incoherent and not credible screenplay. It is a crap!

Horrible, embarrassing acting, ridiculous female fight. If you really want to, watch it here: https://youtu.be/ktbxAJzC6eo

The idea of playing the movie as if it were comic book pages is clever, but the film's campiness, awful amateur special effects and not serious or skilled acting are simply disgusting and not entertaining.

Unbelievable effects.

In this Turkish superhero film, "3 giant (or mighty) men", Spiderman is a dangerous criminal and leader of the spiders gang, while Captain America, his girlfriend Julia and Mexican El Santo go to Istambul to fight him and his minions. It is even worse than it seems!

The border that separates exaggerated action flicks (like "Mission: impossible"; or their spoofs, like "Austin Powers") and superhero films is very often blurred. I consider Zohan as a superhero (although it is not explained why the Jewish superhero who works as a special agent for Israeli Special Forces has superpowers; it seems that it's just an excess of testosterone) because he is able to stop bullets or to deviate himself from them, to swim faster than a jet ski, is much stronger than a bull or than three strong men, feels no pain, etc.
After explaining why this may be considered as a superhero movie, it's time to say why this is one of the worst: besides being unfunny, it damages the possibility of discussing properly the violence in Middle East as, in spite of condemning the lack of interest for peace in both sides, it stereotypes arabs.

Review: Misogyny and sexual harassment are not funny at all. This Japanese manga-based comedy superhero film is very bad. Off course a surrealistic B-movie with poor visual effects may be good, and even the bizarre idea of a naked super heroine with an rabbit-eared red mask and scarf who fights with her beautiful body (and has a special strike in which she performs an epic jump, opens her legs and strangles the enemy between her thighs) and with a nunchaku (that she uses quite well) is not the problem (and could also be funny). The drawbacks are that acting and dialogs are awful and poor, and the story is ridiculous, campy and somewhat misogynous: evil and powerful TV journalism training school owners torture the students (who are all girls) in a childish but also sexual way, and the superheroine Kekkô Kamen saves the day fighting them in order to allow the victims to "accomplish their dreams". Villains are purposely the most ridiculous possible, and it was not funny but just one more reason to hate the film. Anyway, an important lesson everyone may learn by watching it is that sexual sublimation in real life is not a good motivation for creating sane movies. Sexual harassment is not a topic suitable for jokes. Close-ups on breasts and panties give the impression that teenagers who are just discovering sex are responsible for direction and cinematography. By its weirdness and theme, the film could be nothing else but Japanese.

Story, acting, everything is ridiculous.

Fortunately it is an unaired TV pilot and it is a short film with just four minutes. Really bad! Ridiculous acting of Linda Harrison, bizarre costume and flight.

Review: The ridiculousness of this film is very funny, what automatically makes it less bad than other awful movies. Though, even when you make a film with bizarre costumes, a silly story, and bad acting, at least one expects it to have internal logical consistency.

This Mexican superhero film, though, contradicts itself too much seriously (for example, just a touch is enough to teletransport a human, but the Martians who wrestle against Santo cannot do it with him; besides that, the first alien to fight Santo has a disintegration ray but does not try to use it against him, although having the hero as a powerful opponent, and only uses it against people who do not offer any risk to them).

Even the (excessively long) fight scenes are very bad (asslock, headbutt on the sphincter and other ridiculous attacks, with no visually impressive jump) and boring.

This is a film made for children, but I don't think that only movies for adults must have a minimum quality. This one is very bizarre and it is hard to believe that a film with so ridiculous visual effects was made so recently. The costumes are also awful. I have seen many very good children actors in the leading roles of good films; that is not the case here: these boys (including the "Twilight" one!) and girl are bad!

Review: This is a very bad film! Besides having all the drawbacks of its highly overrated prequel (it pretends to show common people becoming superheroes but indeed show hyper-violent and criminal child who fights better than Batman) it has much worse and absolutely unfunny jokes, a lot of prejudice (against Arabs, Asians, gays, women... and I am not talking about the racism of a character, like the M0therfvcker, but about the whole film), awful dialogs. I expected that at least Jim Carrey could save the day... but he did not. The plot itself is a disaster: Mindy cannot be a superhero because she promised to her father who made her a superhero that she would obey his friend who doesn't want her to be a superhero? That's nonsense. The way Ass- Kicker became a super villain was also so silly, so childish! As a matter of fact, super villains in this film are even worse than superheroes. Seeing the "evil army" reminded me the worse of comic book films from the 80's, without their qualities. All the parody of Watchmen (the picture on the wall, the outlawing of costumed vigilantes...) could be nice if the rest of the film were nice, but it isn't. I also think that, as the movie pretends that common young people are the heroes (15 years old Hit Girl shoots real guns!), they are really stimulating violence among teenagers in a very dangerous way. And what the hell was that absurd last quote?!

I have not watched more than a small part of this film yet, but I am already able to say that it is terrible.

Review: The most ridiculous Captain America ever. This is an awful movie, much worse than its prequel "Captain America" from the same year, 1979. The action scenes are ridiculous, the soundtrack is horrible (perhaps the worst I have ever listened, together with Captain Battle's) and acting is as bad as in the previous Captain America TV film.

Besides that, the words "terrorism" and "revolution" are used as synonyms, and the hero attacks workers in the harbor because there is a chance that they are the ones who deal with illegal commodities (but off course it was possible that they were innocent!).

Everything is bad in "Captain America II: Death Too Soon", in spite (or not) of Christopher Lee (yes! he did not act badly) as the villain.

Cheesy movie, with a simplistic bad story, childish excess of explosions, kitsch edition, unskilled acting, grotesque bad taste.

How did they think that a TV series would be approved after presenting this pilot? Some scenes from the first movie are used in the unaired TV pilot.

Review: The fight for the super semen: a kung fu vampire superhero trash B exploitation movie. I wrote this review avoiding spoilers as much as I thought possible, though I cannot consider it spoiler-free. To begin, horrible acting, ridiculous plot and amateur soundtrack are traits of this sexploitation B movie. There is a superpowerful guy (with superstrenght, superspeed, superjump... although not that powerful if compared to other superheroes), Billy, who fights against bad guys. As the superpowers may be transmitted by sexual intercourse, everybody want that semen (that is a very bizarre plot!). To worsen, the supposedly main character, portrayed by Shannon Tweed, is his stepmother but has a crush on him, and he on hers (in the climax, there will be a fog and everything will spin around them!?!). The long-haired superhero in tight jeans fight against the criminals who try to get his semen. The millionaire and handicapped mobster called Roach (indeed, a cockroach is his symbol) has many henchmen, but his main thugs are two dominatrix-style (un)dressed girls. One of them (dangerous master artist Karen, portrayed by Lara Daans) opens the movie with a remarkable "exotic dance" show. Another scene to be highlighted, in this case because it is dire (a B trash kung fu film style scene), is the fight inside the cage between Billy and the two thugs. In the end, when the movie gets even campier, new superpowers arise, such as Electra rays, sharp claws, vampire fangs and hypnotic spittle (everything very bizarre!). To resume: What the hell is the fight between Billy and the wheelchair flamethrower supervillain Roach?! WTF are the two last scenes?!!!! OK, that is enough, I cannot tell much more without telling the story (story?).

It is incredible how one could imagine a quite nice movie based in the very same idea and characters (but the superpowers would need to be explained, what they were not), but this is horrible! Incredibly bad actors and director (as the sequel is much less bad and has a different director, I suppose it was mainly his fault)! Everything is badly done.

It is for children (too silly even for teenagers, just for children!) but it is not just childish, but really bad. Costumes are bad, action scenes are even worse, and acting is the worst in this waste of my time.

Silly, cheesy, boring, badly acted, with horrible visual and sound effects, and ridiculous soundtrack. At least there is a lot of (unconvincing) action and fighting.

Extremely boring and not even slightly innovative.

The sequel of Avengers Grimm 1 and 2 follows the very same idea of the previous movies: a mashup of fairytale characters in superhero blockbusters-inspired assembly. While the previous "Avengers" were the pricesses againt evil, in this film the supervillains themselves compose a "Squad". It is better than horrible first movie but much worse than Avengers Grimm 2. Characters are too different from their sources, and the idea of making them as superheroes or supervillains would only work if they were at list a little true to original fairytales. Besides that, costumes and stage should be much better - they look like theater (in the bad sense; off course what works in theater not necessarily works in motion picture). The story is a mess and there is almost no interesting moment.

Good stunt work but unfunny slapstick and messy story. Boring noises of the mute antihero. The bad film is also boring and sexist.