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All the movies that I've seen since joining this site.
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- DirectorJames MarshStarsEddie RedmayneFelicity JonesTom PriorStephen Hawking gets unprecedented success in the field of physics despite being diagnosed with motor neuron disease at the age of 21. He defeats awful odds as his first wife Jane aids him loyally.Dance while you can.
8.5 - DirectorFrank CoraciStarsAdam SandlerDrew BarrymoreWendi McLendon-CoveyAfter a bad blind date, a man and woman find themselves stuck together at a resort for families, where their attraction grows as their respective kids benefit from the burgeoning relationship.'You don't see that in New Jersey.'
- DirectorCraig GillespieStarsJon HammAasif MandviAlan ArkinA sports agent stages an unconventional recruitment strategy to get talented Indian cricket players to play Major League Baseball.Not bad.
- DirectorAlastair FothergillKeith ScholeyAdam ChapmanStarsJohn C. ReillyA documentary that follows an Alaskan bear family as its young cubs are taught life's most important lessons.Decent narration, I didn't have a problem with it.
- DirectorWes AndersonStarsRalph FiennesF. Murray AbrahamMathieu AmalricA writer encounters the owner of an aging high-class hotel, who tells him of his early years serving as a lobby boy in the hotel's glorious years under an exceptional concierge.Nazis aren't funny, Wes.
- DirectorShawn LevyStarsVince VaughnOwen WilsonRose ByrneTwo salesmen whose careers have been torpedoed by the digital age find their way into a coveted internship at Google, where they must compete with a group of young, tech-savvy geniuses for a shot at employment.Well, I was expecting it to reach for above average, and it didn't. The set-up in the beginning was pretty good, but then it declines pretty markedly in the middle; if I had to choose one thing to cut, it would have to be the excursion into Harry Potter, which was pretty surreal and weird, and not in a good way..... It's a little hard to explain. But I've taken Harry Potter for a long time now as social stiffness and disconnect, however you want to say it, but only in a bad dream does Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan hop on.... I suppose the danger with comedy is that unless it's actually about real life, (the way that sci-fi isn't), it's inauthentic, like a counterfeit coin, and sometimes without someone semi-serious like Ben Stiller or Steve Carell to right the ship, you risk it being about everything "absurd" and which "means nothing"-- although nothing comes from nothing and everything is something, social stiffness is certainly *something*, confusion has its causes, and things "mean nothing" only from one point of view: nothing is *absolutely* nothing, the way that people say that, for example, a sort of stream-of-consciousness lyric "means nothing" and is probably "because of drugs", and therefore is *nothing* somehow, because it isn't a philosophical treatise on mathematical logic: as if half the people who arrogantly dismiss everything creative and "because of drugs" would understand any of *that*.... I suppose even sci-fi is about *something*, but it's about social stiffness, about a world where intelligence grows out of the barrel of a gun, or at the very least the repose of the false heart, where it is Opposite Day precisely because you cannot abide the non-post-nuclear-war world outside your window, and want at the very least a sort of Brittanic medieval caste system to slide all of your social interactions into, or better yet the drug-like no-mind nullity situation which arises when literally everyone around is a warrior, including your social partner.... Certainly we have to at least be withdrawn like monks who reject the world.... 'I am a rock; I am an island'; I am the poet of disconnect and the artist of the faux pas; I should have seen this coming!
So it's not *exactly* like they were getting a Californian career to right the marital ship, not exactly.... although the Potter scar is only an interlude, and it's not like it made the whole thing objectionable. It actually picked up towards the end, albeit according to a formula. And somewhere inbetween was the bar scene, which was not terrible but not great.... and a little meandering and at times almost out of place, like someone who put up some expensive tapesty somewhere, mostly to prove they had the money, although apparently not with enough left over to consult a real interior decorator, or perhaps not enough humility. I know where that goes.
Although, again, about two thirds of the movie was probably written by an architect; it's rather architectural.... And, damn it Past Ted!, did we *really* need *another* flick with a chick who's an executive or whatever, and.... what, is this somebody's fixation? We can only like a girl if she's in meetings with Sheldon Cooper all day? And why in a movie where everything gets tied-up-at-the-end almost disgustingly well, is the marriage-dilemma at the beginning introduced and then totally forgotten? Doesn't anyone give a damn? Doesn't anybody *care*?
Although like I might have mentioned; it could have been worse. I did actually watch the whole thing. It was a watcheable movie. Not all of them are.... It's somewhere inbetween, the real *beep* floppers, like "The Sitter", "Charlie Bartlett", or "Date Movie", and the real gems, like "Meet the Fockers", "Dinner for Schmucks", and "Juno".... It was a little boring, but I got through it okay without retching.
It's a bit like those almost-quotable moments; they were almost worth remembering. Almost.
At least it's not *beep* afraid of a good old fashioned conversation with your friends on the job, like some people really do seem to be a little afraid of the non-directed nature of the modern world, without a brutal military simplicity or a Brittanic medieval caste system to give you a sort of cheat sheet to the betting odds. In this country a paragraph or two of Exposition isn't going to tell you your Destiny, only a little sketch of uncertainties. Although, again, I'm not sure the answer is to make birth destiny in a sort of distant medieval Catholic-'guild'-city-state parochialism, or a cariacature of Belfast, the Balkans, or Iraq. The problem child doesn't need to be our hero, and I don't want to be the problem child.... some of these new things we have, like Google, are rather good.... It's a system that has no idea where you're going to meet someone-- 'here, there, and everywhere': all bad places.... including bars, meetup.com events, and pretty much wherever you'll spend your time, usually-- but it also has no set plan to tear your fingernails off or plot against you in the dead of night or tell you what you're not allowed to say or where you're not allowed to go or what you have to spend your life doing. Getting pulled before the Paradox Court for Time-Travelling Crimes doesn't actually happen.... A lot of things don't happen. A lot of people try to work for Google, don't get in, and don't get thrown into the Pit of Snakes....
A lot of things don't happen. This movie isn't gold-standard realism, (although it doesn't matter so much because it has a certain degree of plausibility and anyway an agreeable lack of cynicism-- it has that watchability), and especially in that bar scene.... well, I don't live in California, but I've been to bars, and mostly nothing happens, really. A lot of things don't happen. People do alot of talking, talking about the sort of things that don't happen. I suppose an average movie is really 'only a movie'.
Oh, and the choice of "Try it Again" by the Hives for the the credits music-- not really a good choice, and I know because I used to listen to them. They're not really the most mature group. I don't know.
It's not like anybody can just casually walk into a bar and find they've traveled through that hole that goes all the way to China; it's not like every band making noise in the garage knows the secret of love; it's not like some composers aren't just following their little baroque formulas.... It's not like some things aren't just workaday products of watchwatching workers.... just passing the time.
Because 'until the Day, there are only days'.... - DirectorChris BuckJennifer LeeStarsKristen BellIdina MenzelJonathan GroffFearless optimist Anna teams up with rugged mountain man Kristoff and his loyal reindeer Sven in an epic journey to find Anna's sister Elsa, whose icy powers have trapped the kingdom of Arendelle in eternal winter.Well, for one thing I find it a little unfortunate that the most famous song ("Let It Go") is one of these trite pop-empowerment songs that basically says, Screw you, get over it (hey we can make a political tie-in!); I'm a cool kid (literally, lol) and I have better things to do than make nice.
I figured at least they didn't want to make a villain out of anybody-- Elsa ruins everybody's lives, but she didn't mean to, that's mildly non-villain-y-- but you can see how that turned out. Hey Anna, guess what, being the romantic makes you NOT COOL, your lover is a real creep and you'd better get even more edgy than you already are (Do you wanna fight a snowman....) if you want to get through this on the right side of the assumptions.
Although that wouldn't have been as pronounced if they had just let love be (just let it be) a.... dramatic winter rescue, okay, less than ideal, but....
Oh, no, but what DID they do. 'Screw my boyfriend, I only really care about my *sister*!' I guess this is the result of all that nerd-tastic pop media bashing about maturing girls too early: 'Love is... Love is.... *gets nervous* Love is loving your sister!' That's the result-- you don't have to mature at all, you can just be one of those curiously naive and undeveloped girls for whom love is filial duty or sibling affection or something.... That's right, you can be seven forever.... Not only can can you be little, but your heroes, your plans, your world can be little, too....
I mean, *come on*, why not just let 'true love' be sending a letter to your aunt, or saving your best friend a trip to the post office. True love's kiss, no no no.... true love's.... polite affection. Be a dear and send your aunt a letter about your summer vacation. Why not try something a little Victorian for your.... modernism.
But as long as you can spite Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, it hardly matters, this is girl-faction time, not uh, uh.... Well, it doesn't matter if we have to kick a few girls out of the universal and catholic girl-faction, as long as we can keep ALL the boys out!
I try so hard to be the optimist, but it just seems to keep on getting more and more cynical and anti-romantic, and.... Frozen. They could have called it, 'Frozen Heart'.
But who cares. As long as you can score points with the press-- the cynical, cynical, cynical, press, who cares. Too bad THOSE people will never *really* ever like you, anyway. Who's chasing faithless lovers, now, ha.
*rolls eyes* But at least the first scene was good. That, and it made money. Lots and lots of and lots of money. Comfort for your frozen soul.
..........................................................
I mean, they could have let Hans kiss Anna, and then have it not work; it's not *true* love's kiss; it's merely an act of infatuation. (And aren't I a good boy for introducing a Plot Twist; I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back!) Then, they could have let Kristoff's love, which developed over time, be what saves Anna, and maybe let Hans--who spent some time with Elsa, which could be re-worked to have more emotional content-- end up with the 'Snow Queen', and thaw her frozen heart. ;)
But no, he's just *too nice*, and we're *too cynical*, so it must just be a "ruse". So he's just a disposable villain, and the other guy is also sorta shunted off to the sidelines for no particular reason, so that the seven-year-old girls who are too young to do anything but rule in their own name in icy isolation can be spared the risks of growing up....
I suppose it's not surprising: chauvinists always have some sort of sectarian objection to marriage. "It's only for the money! They only want your money!" Although as usual, it is only one sort of sectarian observation which is appropriate; its equivalent is.... *haha* bad. Although if the only or easiest indictment would be to calumniate against Cindy, they'd do that too; it all depends on what's the low-hanging fruit, for the people who need to have something cynical on the lips gravitate towards what they can get away with. But I suppose that the only thing easier to get away with than saying that a girl is a fool is saying that a man is no-good.
All I really understand completely is how easy it is to get away with it.....
I mean, they could have just let Hans stick with Anna-- have it be the beginning of what doesn't end. A few hours isn't long enough, although it's long enough that you don't let it end yet, and.... and a few days.... have you ever seen "Dan In Real Life"?
*annoying spoiled little girl* I don't wanna real life!
And that's why the premise of the contrasting-sisters, a theme common to "Sense and Sensibility", "Liv and Maddie", and lots and lots else, ends up being up in this case being worth about as much as the annoying story that your raspy-voiced crone-maiden aunt tells to you while you're stuck in an elevator or a really long car ride, one of those things worthy of one of those Adam Sandler bellows ("Shut up!!!!").....
Where's the contrast? They don't come to love in different ways; they avoid it in the same way. {They hide: I am a rock; I am an island. And a rock never falls in love, and an island is never really your friend.... I hate those two f-ers sometimes, especially when you're supposed to pretend that there could ever be, I don't know, the Simon & Garfunkel Disney Christmas Extravaganza.... 'I am just a poor boy and my story's seldom told; I carry with me the reminders of every glove that's every tore me up and cut me down in the boxing-ring.... And I don't have any woman; all I have is my brother.... Brotherhood is all I need....' *cut* Wait! Wait! Even Disney can't contort and pretzel-bend its way into this one.... We may take a perverse pleasure out of tossing Cindy's family heirlooms to the winds of public opinion every premiere night, but there are some things we can't do! Now! If only you were....} Anna isn't the romantic counterpoint to the isolationist Elsa; in the end, she thinks of you in just the same way. She might as well have spent all her time making ice-cubes or whatever, just like Elsa....
There's supposed to be a thing called a 'girl' in the world, whose own distinctive value is the most non-sectarian and universal of all things.... It ought not be as though everyone filled our idea of the modern magistrate, who to fulfill our ideals of cynicism must be sectarian and--effectively-- non-responsible, and a particular privilege to a certain faction.... If only we had a president who was born in Belfast-- it would be a special privilege to all the Belfasters!.... Ah! for a few minutes, at least....
'But Disney is MINE, and I DON'T WANNA SHARE. *stamp* *pout*.' Well, there's nothing quite so limited in the world as a baby, and Odin knows we don't want them to mature.....
*sighs* But there was one funny line, the one by the snow giant: DON'T COME BACK. (It's not like there were any subtle turns of phrase, ha.) Really, though, take this trash far away, and don't bring it back to me.
...............................................
It's only ironic because there are some guys who are so subtly *arrogant* (sometimes subtly, ha), who think they live on the planet called Dante Prime or something, and not on planet Earth, and so they think they're so --I'M SORRY, AM I BEING CENSORED AGAIN?-- (so 'politely') invulnerable..... They think that they'll never need a girl, and so they don't care: they don't give a damn, so, why care?
..............................................
You can stuff a kid's head full of nihilist lies--I'm not sure if you're a boy or a girl, honey, the National Organization for Political Correctness says it's a sin to acknowledge the truth.... but you can't tell them what's "bleeping" real, and what's "bleeping" good, and "bleeping" wrong, and really Not Okay. - DirectorBen StillerStarsBen StillerKristen WiigJon DalyWhen both he and a colleague are about to lose their job, Walter takes action by embarking on an adventure more extraordinary than anything he ever imagined.This is what Walter Mitty found on the mountaintop: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keepin%27_the_Summer_Alive#mediaviewer/File:KTSACover.jpg
Incidentally, "Ted" (Adam Scott) reminds me of Tom Cruise, and is he the guy from the vodka commercials? (mixologist, etc.) *checks* He is.
Also, I was gonna give it that extra star (that I was expecting to give it), until "people who liked it also liked"-- .... Bradley Cooper's bitch thinks she's funny; I don't even wanna talk about it. I hate *him*, even, you know.
It was an impulse, you know. I liked it, but....
It had a promising beginning, which bled into a good middle, and then, *snaps out of it*, woh.
It made you think they were gonna cop-out, and they didn't, they cleaned up nice, but, I don't know.
[Although maybe if they hadn't mock-coped-out, they would have had some time to *process* the "quintessence"-- really test the idea, you know, I don't know. Don't just kick it out there, turn the other way, and run.]
.... Maybe the movie should have been about Adam Scott firing people. There's *effin* potential for you, right there.
[Site censors curse-words? I'm not insulted, but I feel patronized. What is this, the internet, or "effin'" kindergarten librarian class or something?]
[It was slightly better than 'Delivery Man' maybe, certainly more raw talent and potential.... not really a really great movie like 'A Hard Day's Night' or 'Horrible Bosses' or something.... Like '13 Going on 30': a good movie, that was almost a great movie.... It's not like 'The Informant!' where I'm gonna watch it 30 times.... it didn't 'come close to sucking'; it was above that level rather comfortably....
Maybe I just don't think of movies what I used to.
It's a "battle" just to avoid a effin frackin' failure.]
[Also, everyone named "Ted" in media is supposed to either be a effin' hero, or embody one of my personal failures, neither of which this does. :P]
{P.S. Finds the song, reads the lyrics. That sucks-- that's like Pink Floyd or something.
Adam Scott was right about you, Mitty! :P} - DirectorKen ScottStarsVince VaughnChris PrattCobie SmuldersAn affable underachiever finds out he's fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years ago. Now he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them file a lawsuit to reveal his identity.The humble father of the mighty clan. Not bad.
- DirectorRichard CurtisStarsDomhnall GleesonRachel McAdamsBill NighyAt the age of 21, Tim discovers he can travel in time and change what happens and has happened in his own life. His decision to make his world a better place by getting a girlfriend turns out not to be as easy as you might think.Basically perfect.
(ask me why, lol.) - DirectorNat FaxonJim RashStarsSteve CarellToni ColletteAllison JanneyShy 14-year-old Duncan goes on summer vacation with his mother, her overbearing boyfriend, and her boyfriend's daughter. Having a rough time fitting in, Duncan finds an unexpected friend in Owen, manager of the Water Wizz water park.Steve explores his darker half.
- DirectorRichard LaGraveneseStarsAlice EnglertViola DavisEmma ThompsonEthan Wate longs to escape his small southern town. He meets a mysterious new girl, Lena Duchannes. Together, they uncover dark secrets about their respective families, their history, and their town.A disappointment.
It would be too exhausting to enumerate the reasons why. - DirectorBrian RobbinsStarsEddie MurphyCliff CurtisKerry WashingtonAfter stretching the truth on a deal with a spiritual guru, literary agent Jack McCall finds a Bodhi tree on his property. Its appearance holds a valuable lesson on the consequences of every word he speaks.Full of meaning.
- DirectorPeter LordJeff NewittStarsHugh GrantSalma HayekJeremy PivenPirate Captain sets out on a mission to defeat his rivals Black Bellamy and Cutlass Liz for the Pirate of the year Award. The quest takes Captain and his crew from the shores of Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London.This isn't the past.
This is the future.
This is Polly. - DirectorDavid BowersStarsZachary GordonRobert CapronDevon BostickSchool's out. Summer vacation is on. However, Greg may not have the best summer vacation ever. What could go wrong?
- DirectorRoman PolanskiStarsJodie FosterKate WinsletChristoph WaltzTwo pairs of parents hold a cordial meeting after their sons are involved in a fight, though as their time together progresses, increasingly childish behavior throws the discussion into chaos.Verbally combative, but inconclusive. Mildly introspective.
- DirectorDavid Gordon GreenStarsJonah HillAri GraynorSam RockwellA college student on suspension is coaxed into babysitting the kids next door, though he is fully unprepared for the wild night ahead of him.If it's unrealistic, that often means that it shouldn't happen.
- DirectorSteven SprungStarsMichael BershadBruce BohneJohn ApicellaHollywood, cinema capital of the world, a place where dreams come true. Years ago Nick was a successful screenwriter, now he's a dispatcher at Utopia, a limousine company. Dispatch follows him on one inglorious overnight shift.Realistic, but uninspired.
- DirectorSeth GordonStarsJason BatemanCharlie DayJason SudeikisThree friends conspire to murder their awful bosses when they realize they are standing in the way of their happiness.Quality.
- DirectorJay RoachStarsSteve CarellPaul RuddStephanie SzostakAfter he finds out that his work superiors host a dinner celebrating the idiocy of their special guests, a rising executive questions the merits of his invitation just as he befriends a man who would be the perfect guest.ART.
- DirectorPierre CoffinChris RenaudStarsSteve CarellJason SegelRussell BrandGru, a criminal mastermind, adopts three orphans as pawns to carry out the biggest heist in history. His life takes an unexpected turn when the little girls see the evildoer as their potential father.The Steve Carell Story, all Disney-like.
- DirectorNicholas StollerStarsJonah HillRussell BrandElisabeth MossA record company intern is hired to accompany out-of-control British rock star Aldous Snow to a concert at L.A.'s Greek Theater.It's not as good as the theatrical poster.
It's not a 'cast of The 40-Year-Old Virgin' (Jonah Hill) success story, although I suppose every artist has a 'what were they thinking' moment.
As far as sub-par movies go, it is slightly better than Allyson Hannigan's Date Movie, since it did have this cool cover of the Turtles' Happy Together, in French. - DirectorRichard LevineStarsLiev SchreiberHelen HuntCarla GuginoA comedy about a New York City couple (Schreiber and Hunt) in romantic and family crisis.It came close to sucking, but it didn't suck so bad.
Although, someone else called it "very familiar" and I think it would be easy to list other movies that deal with similar themes in a more memorable way..... (to wit-- gay teen, "Dare", aged father living with married couple, "The King of Queens", burned-out worker, "Dispatch"..... troubled marriage, Steve Carell-type movie, like "Crazy, Stupid, Love").....
.... Consider it one of those rounded up from a high 7.
.... It was believable, but there's so much more to being really good than just that. - DirectorNathan GrenoByron HowardStarsMandy MooreZachary LeviDonna MurphyThe magically long-haired Rapunzel has spent her entire life in a tower, but now that a runaway thief has stumbled upon her, she is about to discover the world for the first time, and who she really is.Overall not bad, but too much thwacking.
Not really the "new classic" that the bright poster children led me to believe it would be. - DirectorSteven SoderberghStarsMatt DamonTony HalePatton OswaltThe U.S. government decides to go after an agro-business giant with a price-fixing accusation, based on the evidence submitted by their star witness, vice president-turned-informant Mark Whitacre.It's worth watching many times, and I have.
- DirectorRichard CurtisStarsPhilip Seymour HoffmanBill NighyNick FrostA band of rogue DJs that captivated Britain, playing the music that defined a generation and standing up to a government that wanted classical music, and nothing else, on the airwaves.The girl who played the slut was in P&P '05-- she played *Mair-ee*! THAT is funny.
Incidentally, the plot is essentially static, with no real conception of the whole legalization process and the transition from pirate radio to the pop-centered BBC Radio One in 1967.... What they do show goes in the opposite direction, with a bureaucrat man trying to shut them down. More importantly I suppose, there's also little character development, with the various events being basically episodic things that seem to leave them mostly unchanged.... even finding dad or whatever doesn't come close to say, Bill Nighy in 'About Time', and the role isn't even assigned to Mr. Nighy.
Also, Worst Usage of the song "Wouldn't It Be Nice": Pirate Radio, aka The Boat That Rocked, 2009.
But, good usage of "All Day And All Of The Night".... despite a soundtrack that is rather underwhelming, given the context.
But, watchable. No real bonuses, no real screw-ups. *Bill Nighy:* Doesn't repulse, you can say that. - DirectorPete DocterBob PetersonStarsEdward AsnerJordan NagaiJohn Ratzenberger78-year-old Carl Fredricksen travels to Paradise Falls in his house equipped with balloons, inadvertently taking a young stowaway.Worst Use Of A Cultural Fossil: Bizet's "Habanera" from "Carmen", in "Up" (2009). And I hate that piece to begin with. Old Man Voice: Don't you know what that damn opera was really about? It made a mockery of happiness!
And the girl.... was a coyboy.
But for a guy, it's a charmed thing. And it has a good ending, it comes together at the end, so that's happy-- some things tend rather to fall apart, and that's failure, not this. And there's one scene in particular that was a connection with feeling and which made a marked improvement. (So that was our "adventure".) It was also quite picturesque, without being inaccessible or difficult, but rather that very cottage-painting-in-a-gallery which brings that trivial effect we call comfort.
It's a little unfortunate that there's that element of the enemy-- the enemy is here! But at least it's not about that girl who talks about the people who've just left the room, and who publishes the book about what right villains they are as soon as she doesn't need them anymore, everyone including her husband who fancies that high-schmuck Wagner better than her.... or your friend who organizes the social gatherings with all possible dictatorial fist-clenching and then some, and who will give you an obnoxious word or two given half an excuse--and then that's it! I got in my insults, now it's over!-- so that you'll only wish that she was a grumpy old man who could only give you a chase through the jungle with a pack of dogs, and only that sort of thing.
So that's it, Russell-- it was a fine movie. So now go away before I change my mind, and anyway I have to go save Eric Ewazen from the Theory of the Lost World, and all the pricks who think that art is about historical re-enactment. So that's it, we had our fun-- I'll see you again next Tuesday.
Yeah. So that was the story of the floating house, children.
8.9/10 - DirectorJohn HamburgStarsPaul RuddJason SegelRashida JonesFriendless Peter Klaven goes on a series of man-dates to find a Best Man for his wedding. But, when his insta-bond with his new B.F.F. puts a strain on his relationship with his fiancée, can the trio learn to live happily ever after?
- DirectorAdam SalkyStarsEmmy RossumZach GilfordAshley SpringerA drama centered around three high school seniors - an aspiring actress, her misfit best friend, and a loner - who become engaged in an intimate and complicated relationship.Full of twists and turns, good resolution. Very fair.
- DirectorMarco SchnabelStarsMike MyersJessica AlbaRomany MalcoPitka, an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge is to settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete.
- DirectorPeter HedgesStarsSteve CarellJuliette BinocheDane CookA widower finds out the woman he fell in love with is his brother's girlfriend.
- DirectorJason ReitmanStarsElliot PageMichael CeraJennifer GarnerFaced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes a selfless decision regarding the unborn child.One of my favorites. (Hermes & Juno).
- DirectorJon PollStarsAnton YelchinRobert Downey Jr.Hope DavisA rich kid becomes the self-appointed psychiatrist to the student body of his new high school.It's embarrassing to have expected alot from this.
The only thing worse would be one of the sci-fi-fascist flicks. - DirectorKevin LimaStarsAmy AdamsSusan SarandonJames MarsdenA young maiden in a land called Andalasia, who is prepared to be wed, is sent away to New York City by an evil Queen, where she falls in love with a lawyer.
- DirectorSunu GoneraStarsTerrence HowardBernie MacKimberly EliseThe determined Jim Ellis starts a swim team for troubled teens at the Philadelphia Department of Recreation.Aimed for inspiring, was mostly just PC.
- DirectorGabriele MuccinoStarsWill SmithThandiwe NewtonJaden SmithA struggling salesman takes custody of his son as he's poised to begin a life-changing professional career.
- DirectorRyan MurphyStarsJoseph CrossAnnette BeningBrian CoxA teenage boy comes of age in the 1970's, sent by his neurotic, pretentious mother to live with a jolly, vulgar psychiatrist and his eccentric extended family.Just not a good adaption.
- DirectorAaron SeltzerJason FriedbergStarsAlyson HanniganAdam CampbellFred WillardSpoof of romantic comedies which focuses on a man, his crush, his parents, and her father.A crude rip-off.
- DirectorAndy TennantStarsWill SmithEva MendesKevin JamesA smooth-talking man falls for a hardened columnist while helping a shy accountant woo a beautiful heiress.
- DirectorPeter SegalStarsAdam SandlerBurt ReynoldsChris RockPrison inmates form a football team to challenge the prison guards.
- DirectorEric DarnellTom McGrathStarsChris RockBen StillerDavid SchwimmerA group of animals who have spent all their life in a New York zoo end up in the jungles of Madagascar, and must adjust to living in the wild.
- DirectorBobby FarrellyPeter FarrellyStarsDrew BarrymoreJimmy FallonJason SpevackLindsay is stuck in the middle of her relationship with Ben and his passion for the Boston Red Sox.I'm not quite sure what I didn't really like about it.
- DirectorNora EphronStarsNicole KidmanWill FerrellShirley MacLaineThinking he can overshadow an unknown actress in the part, an egocentric actor unknowingly gets a witch cast in an upcoming television remake of the classic sitcom Bewitched (1964).It's not really worth watching
- DirectorZach BraffStarsZach BraffPeter SarsgaardNatalie PortmanA quietly troubled young man returns home for his mother's funeral after being estranged from his family for a decade.Vaguely irritating.
- DirectorMark RosmanStarsHilary DuffChad Michael MurrayJennifer CoolidgeRoutinely exploited by her wicked stepmother, the downtrodden Samantha Montgomery is excited about the prospect of meeting her Internet beau at the school's Halloween dance.The idea would be to tell essentially the same story without mindlessly repeating yourself..... they did neither.
It's too modern, and too literal.
It's literal and flat-- story element X is required, therefore, this and that.
And yet they also did change it-- they made her sporty (!), gave her a unisex name, as well as ye olde cell phone....
I can't explain it.
But they took away all of the magic, and gave her a cellphone. Well, if you're going to make it a creepy online relationship type, you might as well make it a modern, realistic comedy.
They tried for both and got neither.
But the rampant vocal ads on this site are as irritating as explaining this, so, I'll stop now. - DirectorKevin ConnorStarsLauren HollyCostas MandylorDorie BartonMarco Poloni's family owns a bakery in the Bronx and it seems that they have fallen on hard times and his family is considering selling the bakery. Marco then decides to enter a baking competition hoping that the money and publicity will help them. But he needs a partner, so he asks Grace Carpenter, the baker of a restaurant, although they started off on the wrong foot, she agrees. So they go to the competition and things seem to be looking good except for a few complications. One of the other contestant Jacques du Jacques is Marco's former classmate at the Academy, whom he says betrayed him. Emil, one of the judges, is Marco's former instructor at the Academy whom he did not leave a good impression on. And Marco's temper, will they be able to pull it off? During this time, Marco also finds himself attracted to her, but she already has a boyfriend.
- DirectorJay RoachStarsBen StillerRobert De NiroBlythe DannerAll hell breaks loose when the Byrnes family meets the Focker family for the first time.
- DirectorPaul McGuiganStarsJosh HartnettDiane KrugerMatthew LillardA young Chicago advertising executive believes a woman he sees in a café is his long-lost love. His belief leads to obsession, as he puts his life on hold in order to trail her.
- DirectorMark WatersStarsLindsay LohanJonathan BennettRachel McAdamsCady Heron is a hit with The Plastics, the A-list girl clique at her new school, until she makes the mistake of falling for Aaron Samuels, the ex-boyfriend of alpha Plastic Regina George.PC brat.
- DirectorGary WinickStarsJennifer GarnerMark RuffaloJudy GreerUnpopular schoolgirl Jenna Rink makes an unusual wish on her birthday. Miraculously, her wish comes true and the 13-year-old Jenna wakes up the next day as a 30-year-old woman.It's a good movie, and it's almost a great movie.
- DirectorBruce BeresfordStarsPierce BrosnanJulianna MarguliesAidan QuinnDesmond's wife leaves him and their 3 kids after Christmas 1953. As he's unemployed in Dublin, the authorities place the kids in orphanages; when he finds a job, he tries to get his kids back.It's not excessively well-done, however it's not without some merit.
- DirectorMark RomanekStarsRobin WilliamsConnie NielsenMichael VartanA mentally unstable photo developer targets an upper middle-class family after his obsession with them becomes more sick and disturbing than any of them could imagine.He made me like the guy.
- DirectorChris WedgeCarlos SaldanhaStarsDenis LearyJohn LeguizamoRay RomanoThe story revolves around sub-zero heroes: a woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed tiger, a sloth and a prehistoric combination of a squirrel and rat, known as Scrat.
- DirectorBen StillerStarsBen StillerOwen WilsonChristine TaylorAt the end of his career, a clueless fashion model is brainwashed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia.Goofy, but a little pseudo-political. Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson, but not their best work.
- DirectorStephen DaldryStarsJamie BellJulie WaltersJean HeywoodA talented young boy becomes torn between his unexpected love of dance and the disintegration of his family.This is okay. It delivers much of what it promised, in terms of letting the boy dance and not letting the snarling men make a killer out of him. Although if I had it to do myself, I would have emphasized that there is an essentially masculine side to the dance--a sort of Grandfather Drosselmeyer facet, to borrow an image from another Tchaikovsky ballet. (And Peter himself is a sort of 'Billy Elliot': he broke the mold that said only lesser lights deign to write for that art, the way that it had been before. It's a shame this didn't happen before--that, say, Mozart wrote practically no ballet music, except for a little bit in an opera; he didn't grace it with his talents, the way he felt compelled to squander them on the Mass. And Bach was naturally considerably worse--no opera, no ballet! no having fun!!!) I think it does need that sortof kingly influence; there is something that a man provides. I don't view it as dovetailing with political correctness schemes about shrugging off the rules in general.... it is simply that the rules ought to be what they should be, and not whatever some small scowling man makes them. I don't view it as rebellion; I see it as being proper. *shrugs* I've just read the second chapter of 'Northanger Abbey', where the girl doesn't know anyone at the party and has no one to dance with, and her aunt or whoever keeps simpering lamely, I wish you had a partner. Or of course the more famous scene from 'Pride & Prejudice'--'Dance with the girl, Darcy!' *stubborn baby, stamps foot* 'No.'.... (And of course, those were probably folk dances and not ballet, but, whatever....) I hope this isn't frowned upon to say it like this, but they need that support....
Somewhat more of a problem, I think was trying to overcome the working-class attitudes towards "balley". Here you are trying to sneak out the back door before the PC police catch you, not enlisting them as your security.... And because of that the concessions, I suppose, are here rather more noticeable. It has to be set against the backdrop of a strike--what's a proletariat without a strike?--and the quota of punk rock has to be filled. Although "Cosmic Dancer" is good--glam rock is a little bit more appropriate-- the obligatory "London Calling" has to be played too: during a showdown with the coppers, of course, to satiate the cynicism about the land of the Anglo-Saxon, before the Tchaikovsky music can be slipped in through the back door (what's this? music relevant to ballet? Why, I thought we were polishing our street cred!), although I think it is scrubbed off the soundtrack CD, incidentally. (A brand-new film score of classical music, the way they sometimes commission for Jane Austen movies, would be a little much to hope for, I know....) Although by comparison, the sorta, guilt pain, is somewhat low. Oftentimes, the shame that the educated critic feels about culture is so great--what, you drink tea? Well, I suppose you also bath in the blood of black babies too, is that it?-- that the validation of classical music can't be allowed unless we also subject you to the Holocaust to compensate.... [n.b. Although it's also true that you don't always get the resentment you've come to expect for whatever reason.]c.f. "The Pianist" (2002), c.f. Horowitz's the Vampire-Pianist's (I'm sorry, but look at him, he makes Rachmaninoff looks like a model!) remark about there being only three kinds of pianists--the Jewish, the homosexual, and the bad. Billy Elliot therefore occupies this far-right position, that just because he's not.... hahaha. (The north of England? Surely nothing good has come from there! Nothing but the fool on the hill....) I suppose some of the hankering after the 30s and 40s has to do with the appetite for obscure bull even though pianists from the 30s or whenever aren't any better than today's pianists, and the recordings are usually considerably worse.... I think it's not just the value placed on violence and "history", though; guilt pain plays a big role. "Billy Elliot", however, largely because it's so obvious that the hero is such a painfully *nice guy*, is pretty low on the intentional dilution, or whatever, of the art. It's there, but it's clearly secondary. And in fact the initially hostile father cautiously leads the audience or whatever towards an acceptance of the guy who dances "balley". So the 6 o'clock news crap doesn't ruin the story; it isn't allowed to. I actually feel kinda bad for the dad, despite the fact that he and the rest of them don't really come across as vivid characters.... It does pretty much deliver, and fit the bill.
So nobody really guts the thing, for the most part: *coal-miner hacks apart a piano with an axe like a Nazi or an edgy anti-art activist, like.... This is what I think of culture!!!*.... But it also often lacks fuel, I guess, it lacks really emotional or unexpected personal interactions, so that keeps it from being more than average, for me. I mean, really, the characters never really become more than *roles*, The Dancer, the Father, the Dance-Teacher, the Brother, etc.; they never truly are distinguished as individuals. They are really only types, and not in the sense of cleverly-utilized archetypes charged with electricity, I mean just sketches of characters that lack that fuel, that electricity.... But whatever, oh well. Even if the story was all message, at least it didn't let that message be.... a deadening one, that fills you with static and clutters you up. No, this one had something good. It's good to dance. - DirectorMike JudgeStarsRon LivingstonJennifer AnistonDavid HermanThree company workers who hate their jobs decide to rebel against their greedy boss.Plus: Ron Livingston is the average hero, and he got the lead.
Minus: Don't do this. Don't be a gangsta.
That lacks maturity. - DirectorJohn DuiganStarsElisabeth ShueAaron EckhartJill HennessyA bachelor becomes the unwilling guardian of his autistic, intellectually disabled sister; then an experimental treatment works a dramatic change in her brain and his attitude.
- DirectorJohn SchultzStarsMelissa Joan HartAdrian GrenierStephen CollinsNicole and Chase used to be BFFs, then junior high happened. The high school centennial dance is coming but Nicole gets dumped. So does Chase. They stage a relationship to get at their exes. They visit each other's worlds. Love in the air?
- DirectorMichael SwitzerStarsKatey SagalAnnabeth GishTom IrwinWeepy fact-based story about a woman facing her impending death and forced to let her baby's nurse become an integral part of her family's life to aid the future care of the child and her husband.
- DirectorJohn RobertsStarsGena RowlandsTony ShalhoubCheech MarinA talking parrot named Paulie recounts his travels to look for his original owner to a Russian janitor who helps him to the end of his journey.
- DirectorTom ShadyacStarsRobin WilliamsDaniel LondonMonica PotterThe true story of a heroic man, Hunter "Patch" Adams, determined to become a medical doctor because he enjoys helping people. He ventured where no doctor had ventured before, using humour and pathos.Message: Don't lose your humanity.
- DirectorFrank CoraciStarsAdam SandlerDrew BarrymoreChristine TaylorRobbie, a singer, and Julia, a waitress, are both engaged, but to the wrong people. Fortune intervenes to help them discover each other.
- DirectorDean ParisotStarsDrew BarrymoreLuke WilsonCatherine O'HaraPregnant Sally unknowingly falls for the stepson of the deceased father of her baby and has to deal with his homicidal family.
- DirectorDavid FincherStarsMichael DouglasDeborah Kara UngerSean PennAfter a wealthy San Francisco banker is given an opportunity to participate in a mysterious game, his life is turned upside down as he begins to question if it might really be a concealed conspiracy to destroy him.Surprisingly good.... karmic.
- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerChristopher McDonaldJulie BowenAfter his grandmothers house is repossessed by the IRS, bad tempered hockey player takes his talents to golf to earn the big bucks and get his grandmothers house back.
- DirectorTamra DavisStarsAdam SandlerDarren McGavinBridgette Wilson-SamprasIn order to inherit his fed up father's hotel empire, an immature and lazy man must repeat grades 1-12 all over again.
- DirectorRon ClementsJohn MuskerStarsScott WeingerRobin WilliamsLinda LarkinA kind-hearted street urchin and a power-hungry Grand Vizier vie for a magic lamp that has the power to make their deepest wishes come true.Well, the fairy tale wasn't that good. I read it in The Blue Fairy Book--although that one doesn't give the best versions-- and it's only amusing for its limitations. Aladdin says something stupid.... And it's tribal (although not as bad as "The Bronze Ring") and it celebrates the vanity of power in an insipid way. So it doesn't base itself off something of a very high level.
The idea was apparently to turn in into something about using your wish fulfillment foolishly, worthy examples of which would include Grimm/Turpin's "The Fairy's Two Gifts" and Sofia the First's "When You Wish Upon A Well". But it doesn't really do this.
It has too much of that softcore 90s cynicism that Disney seems to have absorbed like a sponge. It's supposed to be a Prince story, but the Prince isn't so much a dashing rogue or whatever--or a Prince-- as a poor boy Dickens character or something. Worse, the Princess is really an anti-Princess: Wedding? Bah, humbug! Rich suitors.... I need a vacation!.... Now someone make a joke about wives! Because that isn't me!.... And it's all about Freedom and the Truth, and the Truth about Freedom: you'd think it's not so much the 'Arabian Nights' as it is the Middle East!
Although the Robin Williams Genie routine was nice.... When he wasn't playing the Freedom Philosopher. But in general it was very colorful.
But, still, I kinda liked the anti-Prince Ali song (the "reprise"), which should give you an idea of what I thought about the thing as a whole....
I couldn't say that it was as good as average. To be worse, it would require invading Huns, and you know that dark road was exactly where they were headed.... - DirectorBen StillerStarsWinona RyderEthan HawkeJaneane GarofaloA documentary filmmaker and her fellow Generation X graduates face life after college, looking for work and love in Houston.I was rooting for Stiller.
- DirectorPeter WeirStarsRobin WilliamsRobert Sean LeonardEthan HawkeMaverick teacher John Keating returns in 1959 to the prestigious New England boys' boarding school where he was once a star student, using poetry to embolden his pupils to new heights of self-expression.Rather dull, actually.
- DirectorRon ClementsJohn MuskerStarsJodi BensonSamuel E. WrightRene AuberjonoisA mermaid princess makes a Faustian bargain in an attempt to become human and win a prince's love.It's rather cute, yet....
Paranoid Person: *gasp* If you chase a --man--, you'll lose your --voice--!
I'm sensitive to cynicism. To a fault, if it were possible. - DirectorGlenn Gordon CaronStarsMichael KeatonKathy BakerMorgan FreemanA hustling drug addict checks himself into rehabilitation to escape trouble with the law and realizes that it's exactly what he needs.Good old-fashioned morality tale/New-fangled public service announcement. Pretty average.
- DirectorMichael LehmannStarsWinona RyderChristian SlaterShannen DohertyAt Westerburg High where cliques rule, jocks dominate and all the popular girls are named Heather, it's going to take a Veronica and mysterious new kid to give teen angst a body count.It gets a little hairy at the end. Although it is about as close as Winona Ryder comes to getting her big hit..... There's just something unlucky about that girl.
- DirectorRob ReinerStarsCary ElwesMandy PatinkinRobin WrightA bedridden boy's grandfather reads him the story of a farmboy-turned-pirate who encounters numerous obstacles, enemies and allies in his quest to be reunited with his true love.*sighs* Not what it was billed as.... (Don't read the tagline; they're not in earnest....)
"Playing down to the emotional immaturity of your audience is good."
It's not *significantly* better than the gore movies, (which these days seem to count as 'family' flicks too.....), hey, they even advertise for the gore movies on the bottom of the screen!
The Universal Soldier always seems to think that he's a romantic....
*rolls eyes* What a softie. - DirectorNicholas MeyerStarsTom HanksJohn CandyRita Wilson1962, after Yale graduation, womanizing Lawrence flees a gambling debt that his rich dad won't pay. He takes his roomie's place as Peace Corps Volunteer in Thai Golden Triangle with 2 other PCVs. Will he survive 2 years?Decent idea, average entertainment, actually not unwise too.
- DirectorSteve RashStarsGary BuseyDon StroudCharles Martin SmithThe story of the life and career of the early rock and roll singer, from his meteoric rise to stardom, to his marriage and untimely death.Competent.
- DirectorMichael SchultzStarsPeter FramptonBarry GibbRobin GibbA small-town band hits it big, but it must battle a nefarious plot in the music industry.Not *too* bad.... not TOO wonderful....
- DirectorHugh GladwishMike MansfieldStarsBarry GibbMaurice GibbGinger BakerThe plot revolves around two heirs, Prince Frederick (Barry Gibb) and his brother Prince Marmaduke (Maurice Gibb), and their dying father (Frankie Howerd). On his death bed, The King orders his kingdom divided into two halves, the Kingdom of Jelly and the Kingdom of Cucumbers. Before the king even dies, Prince Frederick declares himself "King of Cucumbers" and Prince Marmaduke becomes the "King of Jelly". The film intersperses comedy sketches with Bee Gees songs plus performances by Lulu and Blind Faith with cameo appearancesForgettable
- DirectorBob RafelsonStarsPeter TorkDavy JonesMicky DolenzThe Monkees frolic their way through a series of musical set pieces and vignettes containing surreal humor and anti-establishment social commentary.It's.... very much itself.
- DirectorGeorge HarrisonJohn LennonPaul McCartneyStarsJohn LennonPaul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonThe Beatles charter a special bus for a surreal mystery tour.'I am concerned for you, to enjoy yourselves, within the limits of British decency,' said Buster Bloodvessel.
- DirectorRichard LesterStarsJohn LennonPaul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonSir Ringo Starr finds himself the human sacrifice target of a cult, and his fellow members of The Beatles must try to protect him from it."Ticket to Ride" in the Alps is great.
- DirectorRobert WiseStarsJulie AndrewsChristopher PlummerEleanor ParkerA young novice is sent by her convent in 1930s Austria to become a governess to the seven children of a widowed naval officer.
- DirectorRichard LesterStarsJohn LennonPaul McCartneyGeorge HarrisonOver two "typical" days in the life of The Beatles, the boys struggle to keep themselves and Sir Paul McCartney's mischievous grandfather in check while preparing for a live TV performance.Best Beatles movie?
- DirectorGordon DouglasStarsElvis PresleyArthur O'ConnellAnne HelmA family of ragtag vagabonds sets up a makeshift home on a Florida beach after becoming marooned there, prompting an uptight local bureaucrat to attempt to evict them.The scene at the bank is pretty good, but overall it's later Elvis not being as good as early Elvis.
- DirectorLes ClarkClyde GeronimiEric LarsonStarsMary CostaBill ShirleyEleanor AudleyAfter being snubbed by the royal family, a malevolent fairy places a curse on a princess which only a prince can break, along with the help of three good fairies.(It's about) Time and Fate. At least at its heart, and in its purest form.
Everyone is a snob for the written word, but I like best the short prose version that I read-- because it's *short*. (Grimm/Turpin). At first it sucked, and then it didn't: but only after a hundred years. The end.
This version is somewhat long, and it actually has too much *suspense*, for a story essentially about Fate.... It has an artificial arch.
And Cinderella is better, much better, although that's broad because Cinderella is better than everything. It marries domesticity and magic, common perfidy and uncommon faith, the supernatural world and everything simple. It never whines, and it never thunders. I don't know of anything that deals so evenly with both the royal magic and the common household, weaving here and there with matrimony.
I meander, but I suppose you don't know it done perfectly till you've seen an error, I suppose.... Also, the little subplots of Cinderella are by far superior to Sleeping Beauty's-- from Cinderella's mother instinct for her mouse friends, to its subtle anti-militarism-- certainly there's no 'sword of truth', military-style villain, or quasi-Christian influence-- and its vignette on musical education, and, again, the fuller use of the animal 'familiars', if you will. Even when it dawdles, it does so because sometimes life does not run, and because the movie is meant to be seen front to end, and not in a Series of Exciting Episodes. Sleeping Beauty's subplots are a little pointless by comparison, aim too high and come too low, and seem to be put there with an eye to the clock, and, like I said, the artificial arch.
Really, 'Briar Rose, or the Sleeping Beauty' is about Time and Fate. The curse is fated to happen by an inevitable episode of petty spite, and no sword and no spear can undo it, only time can weave its way to the end. And until the Day, there are only days, and it all runs very slow. Love will undo all evil, but love in the material world comes only when it will, and not so much before....
(Incidentally, I think Cinderella is also easier to adaption; there are certainly inferior versions, but both the Grimm and the Perrault/Disney versions are good; whereas this is just not quite as good as Grimm/Turpin.)
Although I don't want to be too hard on the Tchaik-derived piece: 'Once Upon A Dream' is very nice, almost speaks of reincarnation, since I know I've met you once before, at least. At any rate, at first you're dancing with yourself, and then, you're dancing with somebody else, because something's finally happened in your life.
But really, there's no need for half the words, and most of it should be very slow.... One day, love will come for you, until then, you sleep....
And until then, there's simply to avoid doing anything too foolish; the villain game is too unreal to unwind something as real as magic....
"My sword it lies broken, and cast in a lake
In the dream I was told that my princess would wake."
It's about Fate, as surely as Tchaik 4. And you know everything is about love.... and love is here, living in the material world. - DirectorHal KanterStarsElvis PresleyLizabeth ScottWendell CoreyA musician and a publicist help a delivery man achieve stardom.The story of himself.... well done!
- DirectorClyde GeronimiWilfred JacksonHamilton LuskeStarsIlene WoodsJames MacDonaldEleanor AudleyWhen Cinderella's cruel stepmother prevents her from attending the Royal Ball, she gets some unexpected help from the lovable mice Gus and Jaq and from her Fairy Godmother.