4th Annual Nic and Mitch's Halloween/Horror Film Bonanza!!! 2017

9.29.17

So we are easing into the holiday with lighter fair. It immediately jumps out at you that for only 1996, the CGI monster actually kind of holds up...mostly. Also, it's really weird to see Michael J. Fox as an adult. I know that might sound weird, but I think this it's because he stopped acting in movies shortly after this so you don't really have a reference. That was such a shame since he was a fixture in my childhood with nearly everything he did.

The ghosts themselves are a little tacky and how you would expect a cliche ghost would look like in the movies. It's weird this was one also one of the first movies that Peter Jackson directed in the mainstream.

The plot is also a little derivative, like Ghost and Ghostbusters got together and had a baby that tried to follow in their footsteps haphazardly. I will say, when the monster does come out of the mirror to kill 38, is rather impressive.

The FBI guys is really creepy. In the flashback Michael J. Fox looks like Eric Stoltz which is funny because he took the role of Marty McFly from Stoltz. The judge humping the mummy is really bizarre especially when he says "I like it when they lie still like that". That's more terrifying than anything else in this film.

The monster is really cool and does most definitely still hold up.
The shrew of a lady reminds me of Tilda Swinton, and I wish she was the one in the role. I was excited when I just realized Danny Elfman did the score, but you can't really tell in this movie and it's rather blah...

Honestly, I'm more interested in the man who lives in a half-built house after his wife dies in a car accident he caused. I wish that was more of the focus than this Ghostbuster-like adventure.

The ending is certainly mellow-dramatic, but I do like the twist that the sister was involved, no matter how convoluted this whole story becomes.

9.29.17

I remember this film from childhood, specifically how scared it made me when I saw the trailer of this during the Mummy. I remember it was raining really hard, and after the movie all I could remember was this trailer. It's got a terrible review on RT so we will see how it holds up. Ebert gave it a 3 out of 4.

The house itself is absolutely gorgeous and gives that terribly creepy vibe. The cast is also impeccable with Liam Neeson, Owen Wilson, Bruce Dern, Katherine Zeta Jones, the one chick...they are all really great in this movie.

The interior of the house is probably even more gorgeous. From the locations to the art design, to the sets, you have to see this movie strictly on that basis. Mrs. Dudley is creepy as *beep*.

I forgot Katherine Zeta Jones was bisexual in this movie, good for her. This is 1999 after all. I'm not used to seeing her bubbly. Seriously, this *beep* house is exactly what I would build if I had all the money in the world. From the overly ornate carvings, to the mirrors, to the patterns, to the Gates of Hell doors, to the river of book stepping stones, the merry-go-round room...it's the most over-the-top house I've ever seen.

It is interesting how they try really hard to ground this all in science and a scientific experiment. I think it does add something to the story.

Eleanor is obviously creepy...does no on see that? And they so overshadow how Owen Wilson is going to die it's not even funny. Not once but twice.

I will say bringing children into this makes it a lot worse. It breaks down a certain wall that people have going to the movies in regards to horror movies. It stops abruptly because children aren't really involved in this so that stakes are only so high.

This kinda reminds me of The Frighteners in the same way that the monster moves through walls and pops out and such. Liam pulls the plug too quickly and lets it go too quickly before anyone has a chance to really hate him for what he's done.

It gets a little campy when Eleanor runs into the merry-go-round room and see's herself as pregnant, welcoming her home...lol. And her connection with the house is a little tenuous at best. The ending is a little hilarious with her confronting Hugh Crain. She's not good at acting it out and the CGI in this part doesn't really hold up, which is weird because most of the rest does.

All in all, the CGI I don't think is overdone. I like this movie doggone it and I'm okay with liking a movie which has a RT rating of 17%.

9.29.17

A holiday classic that has been officially inducted into the must-see lineup of Halloween movies. Growing up with this film definitely helps, but it is a true classic even if it's a twist on the 'ghost theme' that we're using.

Who doesn't want to know Luther and live in Rachel??? Don Knotts was a one-of-a-kind actor and definitely not only found his niche, but made it into a multi-million dollar movie franchise. His frantic personality and skittish nature make him comedy gold.

I love the breakfast scene where the little bitties speak candidly about murder and suicide and fight over how much money they wouldn't take to stay there. Apparently a "print" is a dress which prints on it in 1966.

The first movie Don Knotts made after leaving the Andy Griffith Show. I like how there is a seance group in the community and everyone just laughs it off as a corky thing.

It's a murder house....

It's just such a quaint place with quaint community members. Knotts has a magnetic presence in this film and is always being upstaged by the hotter Olie. I can't believe he was in his 40's when he did this picture. The family all really helps out with Luther, trying to help but making him more afraid than anything else. The little bitties are hilarious in his picture.

It's got some cheap thrills/laughs, but some how Knotts makes it all okay. Seriously, who doesn't want to live in Rachel?!?!? Luther is a celebrity just because he stayed the night in a haunted house. It's warming to see the community come together for him.

Attaboy Luther!!!!

9.30.17

One of my favorite Tim Burton films and also a one of my favorite Johnny Depp films as well. The casting is absolutely brilliant and the story and characters are really well rounded and fleshed out. The whole scientific angle juxtaposed to the spiritual might be a touch cliche, but it definitely works in this film given the time period.

I will say Christopher Walken as the Headless Horseman is a little comical and slightly jarring as you don't think of him as a butcher and those really weird teeth. But I do appreciate the gore and the bloodiness of it all.

The witch in the western woods is one of my favorite characters and I really wish they would have utilized her more. Also, the tree of the dead spewing blood is at once perturbing, but kind of hilarious. You see where the headless horseman keeps his trophies.

One of the creepiest scenes is when Ichabod falls into a fever dream and his mother's blood comes pouring out of the torture device while he accidentally stabs himself on a chair. It is really rather bizarre.

It might as well be titled Sherlock Holmes Meets the Headless Horseman.

I will say the whole "taking the horseman's head to do your bidding while a conspiracy in the town makes everyone freak the *beep* out" is a little contrived, but I guess I understand you've gotta beef the story up a little in order to make it a feature length film.

9.30.17

Once again, the casting is absolutely great in the movie. Who doesn't want your aunts to be Stockard Channing and Diane Weist?!?!? That whole curse thing is rather tragic, I mean never being able to truly love someone because one ancestor got super jilted? That's not fair to your descendants! It's kind of egoistical.

Why did they even try to resurrect Jimmy in the first place? What did they think would happen when he woke up, but cool with everything? Of course he was going to attack them, why didn't tie him up first and all the jazz? They clearly don't have a well laid out plan...

All in all I can see why this movie didn't score very high. It doesn't know what it really wants to be about: a possession tale? witchcraft? romance? sister/family drama? That said, I still love this movie. It's light and airy, but so well-casted it can be nearly forgiven for its shortcomings, like the cheesy quality that screams when romance is involved.

9.30.17

In the opening scene the television channel shuts off, I forgot that in the early 80's stations just literally shut down after a certain point. I also keep forgetting the Tobe Hooper directed this which is sad, because he just passed away a month or so ago.

The mother is totally smoking weed in bed with Craig T. Nelson. That's kind of hilarious. That little moment between them is really endearing where they talk about olympics and diving.

I understand children's fears of scary trees and clowns, but A) why would you keep that stupid ass clown if you were frightened and B) why would you keep that ugly ass tree on your property? That lame ass story about a wise tree is total *beep*

The chair scene in the dining room is still really creepy after all these years. And if I saw skies constantly churning and green lightening coming out of it, I would get the hell out of there. It all kind of starts out pretty innocently, with the moving chairs and the little girl.

And then is takes a really scary, really violent turn almost immediately which the abruptness only adds to the terror. That little boy's terror and traumatizing look is priceless as he stumbles about while they look for Carol Anne. Craig T. Nelson thanking god she's not in the swimming pool was also very poignant.

My only question is why would you NOT go to the police, even if it is a poltergeist. At the very least you wouldn't be suspected of killing your daughter if she doesn't come back. You remember the squat psychic lady, but you kinda forget that there was another older lady prior to her arrival.

It's weird that at sometimes it seems benevolent, then they make you think you've torn your entire face off. I kept thinking that it was a Native American burial ground that they built the houses on, but it's just a regular one. I can't believe that I forgot about that. I wonder why I thought that.

I love the psychic and I forgot how small her party actually is. I don't get why he finds a psychic hilarious and doubtful after seeing all the *beep* that he does.

Why don't they get the *beep* out after they get Carol Anne back?!? Why would you stay there another night? They almost kind of deserve to get sucked into the afterlife for that.

Craig T. Nelson says the swimming pool will be 10 feet deep, but people are normally buried at 6 feet deep. Why didn't anyone hit a grave while they were digging?

Epic ending...

9.30.17

This one I haven't seen in a really, really long time. It screams 80's. It's weird, because it's about Patrick Swayze being a ghost...and now, technically...he could be...that's a really bad joke.

I don't remember the hole pottery scene taking place soooo early in the movie. It really is very sensual and I completely get why it's a pop culture moment. It also doesn't last very long.

Those computers they use are absolutely terrible!!! Ollie is totally a creeper, we all know he's up to something. Demi and Patrick do have a chemistry together.

Oh no!!! Patrick is struggling with a mugger and he's been shot! I totally forgot that's how he died. It's really quick, the change from alive to ghost. Demi doesn't really seem be that sad. Maybe she's in shock, but I'd be screaming my head off.

The cliche white light....don't go Sam! Don't go!

The visual of Sam moving through the hospital attendant was kinda cool. Ol' Ollie is creeping up on Demi like no ones business. Has he really not gone through doors before this exact scene here Demi leaves? Creepy guy on subway is hella weird.

I'm not sure if I would or wouldn't believe Whoopi. I guess, a part of me would want to. I'm not that excited about how the hispanic guy and the black lady are the one's who are looked down upon and have a criminal record. The subway guy is the scariest thing about this film.

It's definitely more of a romantic, mystery, adventure than a horror movie, but it fit with the theme so I went with it. I haven't seen it in a long time, and other than Whoopi Goldberg there isn't much more to this movie I would want to rewatch.

Okay, so who didn't want Whoopi and Demi to slow dance, hold hands, and make out hardcore?!?!? I understand why and how they got around that scene, but still...I was longing for Whoopi to shove her tongue down Demi's throat. That scene is what puts this film under for me. No joke.

10.4.17 NEW

It starts off creepy enough with the men shooting the poor girl and lighting her on fire. Then you get the KKK robed figure with the triangle in his head, not sure if that's so scary. I will say the setting, at least initially is a little trite. This is giving me Halloween II vibes with a hospital that is scarcely staffed. At least they try to address it, somewhat.

Okay, well Bev was a little disturbed. That poor kid had only like 30 seconds on in this movie and was probably paid $5 and a snickers for his role. Of course the phones don't work. Why would they ever work?!

Okay, now Bev is giving me The Thing fierceness. Mitchell didn't stand a chance, but I will say the creature is good. This hospital is having one terrible night. This movie does play into a lot of horror cliches, I will say that.

The doctor's back! But not in a good way. The policeman isn't a terribly great actor. And of course they all have to go to the basement because why not? Why is it all dark and abandoned and dripping?

The doctor is pretty terrifying by never having to turn around. Him turning around is a let down. I can make enough out to kind of know where this is going, and though I applaud the efforts of the practical effects which are actually brilliant, it's still a middling plot. It should make what's going on both epic and small, but instead it just feels small and too boxed in.

Isn't she beautiful...

Again, the ending was botched. Gotta give it up to the practical effects dude. I want him on my next movie!

10.6.17

I will say this movie is off to the races straight out of the gate. It doesn't fool around and take its time, which I love. There isn't much back story or exposition, aside from the professor's recording. I love the roaming camera that bursts through the house and sends Ash flying across the forest.

The sun was up for like 15 minutes. I love the stop motion animation of the dead girlfriend and how she just jumps off into the night and then bashes his head into the wood from the other side or how Ash hides from the camera, it takes a look around, can't find him and then leaves the cabin. It's all so cleverly humorous.

I do lament that there is no tree raping in the movie, but it makes up for it in its own quirky way. They definitely had more money. What is a decent looking girl doing with a creepy, stupid hick like that? Ash grappling with his own hand is very reminiscent of the three stooges and the gremlin sounds coming out of it is just funny and bizarre. Who's laughing now?

The amount of blood coming out of the wall is a comedic take on The Shining elevator scene. The laughing deer is actually really scary, but then the lamp and books chime in instantly underlining the comedy. He seems to be just fine and can't notice that he's even missing a hand. No one is talking and she shh's everyone and tells them to listen up.

I can't see how this is actually a sequel as the title would suggest. Why would Ash come back? Why would no one remember what happened? It seems more like a remake, or at least a spiritual twin brother of a movie.

The boyfriend's makeup is exceptional. The daughter looks like Claire from Modern Family. And that lamp sure is bright. The professor coming back is a cheesy effect given how great all the others are.

Groovy.

I forgot that this movie set up Army of Darkness. Interesting.

10.6.17

As your grandparents used to say, you've got to have an 80's slasher franchise in your Halloween movie bonanza!! Child's Play/Chucky is it!!!

I always forget the Brad Dourif is the voice of Chucky. I will say he does an excellent job at the voicing part. This cop is terrible. You mean to tell me he really couldn't hear exactly where all the noise was coming from in this toy story? Seriously? He doesn't even move around to find it.

This is a parable of consumerism and capitalism at its finest. I still maintain to this day that if they lessened the whole possession by a serial killer or a doll, and left it more obscure, it would have been a great meditation piece of childhood trauma, questioning those you love, and what a mother will do to save her child who maybe the culprit.

Aunt Julie is kind of *beep* mean to Andy. I mean, he's only a kid, and technically he wasn't even out of bed. A little bit of a bitch. And she kind of got what she deserved. But I will say, she basically jumped out of that window. No one could have been pushed by that doll and then stumble 20 feet out a window.

I would have also told the detective that Chucky's feet are covered in flour. The little boy is actually a really great actor and has this very innocent voice. The batteries not being in the doll, are really creepy.

The homeless rapists are pretty creepy, but I'm not digging the mom so much. She doesn't seem as frightened or able to project the terror she needs to. Chucky killing the detective was unexpected, and I love Chucky's little sayings are kinda hilarious. The knifing the seat as well. However, why wouldn't you stop the car and get the *beep* out of there?

In her quest for more answers, thank god Chucky depicted it all on the walls of his home?!?!?!

And if a person was never supposed to transfer themselves into an inanimate object, than why would John know how to get themselves out of it by transferring themselves into the first person they let in on that they're alive. That seems a little contrived to me.

The animatronics in this are brilliant, especially when the doll gets on top the bed to knife the boy. That little boy is so heartbreaking when he's crying in his cell. I think this adds a lot of suspense and terror.

Again, the animatronics are *beep* brilliant, especially as he's still sizzling after being burned in the fire place, then shot, but he still keeps coming back. For a horror movie's budget, in the 80s, I'm very *beep* impressed.

10.6.17

This is a throwback, but this is one that I had nightmares about for a long time as a child. I wouldn't put a mask on because I was terrified it would get stuck to my face forever.

R.L. Stine...I can't quite put a finger on it...it might be his mole on his forehead I can't shake...or it's the fact that he can't act or present. It starts off really quickly. I don't remember much of this, but it's bringing it all back...the creepy man in the novelty shop with the lame scarring...or the terrible name of Carly Beth...

Carly Beth is totes a big ol' lesbo and has an unfounded fear of ducks.

Carly Beth's fear is what drives her toward the mask, in order to get back at those who would harm her. She's not the bad one so I feel like she gets unfairly punished. For someone who is always scared, she's really pushy and quite frankly a thief.

Ultimately, the message of the story is that revenge changes a person and makes them cruel.

10.8.17

For a Dimension film this is a very slow burner of a horror movie. Kidman is a tiger mom to say the least and she's completely overbearing and quite a dower personality. She seems slightly schizophrenic.

The children aren't particularly cute, especially the little girl who is definitely like her mother and kind of a bitch. The three servants are kindly in their own way. The woman is definitely a nice lady, and the others are yet to be seen. I do love the house. It is quite lavish and labyrinthine, however, it's always completely in the dark because of some kind of allergy to the sun.

This movie isn't so much a horror movie, but more like a deep drama. It's much more about family, strained relationships, a dissolving marriage, psychological breaks, intruders, etc. There is very little that has to do with a horror theme, other than, at this point, a very overdone...wait, they were dead all along tropes that got passed back and forth during the late 90's/early 2000's.

I will say, before you know the ending, the father was quite a huge douche, coming home only to leave the next day. That's a very tool-ish thing to do. I mean, what, he slept for a few hours, and then left. Jeesh.

Yeah, I'm not much of a lover of this movie. I hear that this is actually a remake of something earlier called The Innocents which is supposedly way better. I hope, because this movie does kind of suck a little.

10.8.17

It's like they're performing some kind of surgery on the doll, putting it all back together, but I do like the fact that they pick up almost immediately after the first one. The toy factory is in crisis as it puts Chucky back together. It's all very over-the-top, putting the eyes in and putting it back together. The cheesy electricity is brilliant.

The foster parents are kind of dicks when Andy simply runs to the door after seeing what clearly traumatized him to begin with and now the foster father is yelling at him for running.

The assistant is super dickish and is totally getting what he deserves. That's hilarious that there was a point in time where liquor stores didn't accept credit cards.

I love how Chucky goes to great lengths to bury the other Good Guy Dolls. This film definitely knows it's a campy horror film and is certainly unabashed about that.

Who would smoke around a small child much less let them hold a cigarette and allow them to smoke it? This is certainly a film of its time.

That bitch of a teacher had it coming, though I'm not too sure it was really that scary. Chucky making those wise-cracking jokes puts this on the level of Freddy, but I think he's way more funny. Brad Douriff is great as the voice and I hope he always stays with it.

You have to admit, Chucky ripping off his own hand and sticking the knife in it is probably really badass. I'm surprised that he didn't know it was already too late for the how transference bit.

I love how it's not just one death scene for Chucky, but three!!! That's awesome. Both the girl and Andy really keep it together during all this nightmarish horror. Why are there so many Good Guy dolls if a popularized murder scene incriminated the toy??? Maybe that's why there all still in the factory.

All in all you can see a transition from the trying to be strictly horror with a tinge of comedy, to campy kill-happy. It's not terrible though. It's not the greatest either. I see what they were trying to do and put a significant spin on it. It worked, largely and I didn't have many complaints other than the fact that it's really not that scary, but that's kind of how I like my 80's slasher franchises.

10.8.17

This has almost become just as big of a Nic's Halloween Film Bonanza!!! as any other movie. I seem to watch it every year. I always remark how hot Alec Baldwin used to be. Geana Davis is also absolutely perfect in this film. It's my fourth favorite Tim Burton film of all time.

They die so scenically on a picture perfect draw bridge in a picture perfect town, owning a picture perfect house. It's happens rather quickly and the fantasy as he steps outside of the house just hints at another world we're about to escape into.

The new family who moves is the perfect family for this house and these ghosts. Catherine O'Hara is utterly brilliant, Jeffery Jones is naively benign, and Winona Rider is perfectly gothic. Otho is really funny, but a caricature of a gay man.

It's so weird that when they leave the house it becomes like they're on another planet with worlds beyond their world on the horizon. And what's up with the sand monster? Does that ever get explained?! No, and that's one of the best things about this movie.

A Woodpecker eating what's clearly meat? That's super weird and something I never saw before. The characters in the waiting room are hilarious, well thought out and comedic disturbing. There are case workers for ghosts? So there's some kind of social benefit net for the dead? Who funds this? Is there some kind of netherworld government that has to vote about what kind of benefits they'll give the undead or take away?

This is also has undertones of consumerism, yippies, and teenage angst. It's got all the trappings of a commentary of the times which isn't easily seen by a first viewing. Those in the 80's aren't afraid of ghosts, it's as if they've seen everything. They don't care about being frightened, they care about how they can make money on anything. It screams the 80's.

Oh, the snake...when Beetlejuice comes in...it's brilliant. The head of that thing is really creepy and scary, I will say that. Oh their faces are a silly parlor trick, but it works soooo well. This scene, besides the dinner scene is what I remember most about this film.

These people are so dead set on trying to make money off this somehow. It's crazy!!!

10.10.17

This isn't really a part of the of the Halloween Film Bonanza because it doesn't fit with the theme, but we have other films coming that don't either, so *beep* it. I'm including this because, looking at it objectively, why in the world would someone adapt this story into a movie? It's my first review not watching the film.

It's such a dark film, even with the Jim Henson touch, which actually makes it worse. The grandmother going on and on about how witches stealthily as assimilated into our society and there are only subtle ways to figure it out, is frightening. Why would you tell a small child about that? Also the story about the little girl being kidnapped is way too much for children's bedtime story.

The parents dying is just icing on the cake, but Luke seems to be adjusted to the fact that he'll never see his parents again. I love the diabetes-riddled, cigar smoking Norwegian grandmother who's missing her pinky. I wanted to know more about her...how did she lose the finger? How does the Grand High Witch know her? She makes it clear that they've done battle before, but the grandmother doesn't seem to remember her.

As for Angelica Huston as the Grand High Witch is perfect casting. However, there isn't much meat on the role itself so it made sense to get a real actor to try and do whatever they could to beef it up. Her make up is absolutely flawless. It reminds me of the swamp witch in NeverEnding Story. She's really good.

I don't really get the whole "let's kill all the children in England!" plan. I mean, I get the witches hate children (Hansel and Grettel), but how do they think they get more witches? This is only the English witches, too. What about the other countries? Asking the witches to quit their jobs and become candy store owners is kind of macabre.

The fat boys parents are horrid and should have died with the rest of the witches. Why would she make a potion that could kill her too?

All in all the Jim Henson effects are pretty good, but a little lacking in the mouse department. I see why this didn't get a sequel. It's bizarre by today's standards. Other than Angelica Huston and her makeup...meh...

10.10.17

My thoughts apparently didn't get saved and I'm too lazy to write much. The music is awful/amazing. The subject of homosexuality is all over the place in this movie, which makes sense because you can draw a line of becoming a vampire to coming out. It's great.

10.13.17

So I'm not totally sure how Chucky keeps coming back alive. He imbued himself into a doll, then that got burned and stabbed, then in the sequel he got melted, so now he's back because some of his blood got mixed into the liquid plastic? So they're saying that as long as his blood gets on something, he'll still be alive? I don't get it and it's a stretch. I will say that the beginning montage is pretty cool with the reverse shots of putting the doll back together with the blood and plastic. I thought that was an interesting touch.

It starts off in a similar fashion with an executive from the toy company, yet again, being stalked by Chucky. He jumps up when the toy cop car comes like it was going to kill him. Chucky using toys to kill him is kind of an interesting idea.

That handheld player the black kid has looks so incredibly old. It's just absolutely insane that the toy company would sell that exact same doll, in the exact same packaging, the exact same commercials, and didn't think to tweak the look of the Good Guy doll in any way shape or form. After all the publicity you would think they would have dome something to distance themselves from the claims of Andy. The executive deserved to be killed for that idea.

Wait...so the logic is that if he gets melted back down, or his blood mixes into another doll, Chucky gets a fresh start in telling someone his secret? That makes no sense to me. Even so, he's spent way too much time in that body to begin with.

This film is largely devoid of any really good scenes. You can tell that they were writing this on the fly. I do like the idea of Chucky no longer needing Andy anymore and actually trying to kill him. However, I don't quite think this movie decides to go there.

It's a little hilarious and kind of the best kill where the old man dies of a heart attack before Chucky can even stab him to death. That's lazy, but also kind of genius. The Sargent who cuts hair is pretty sadistic and I wish he was just as much of a villain.

I do like the concept of the war games and the use of live ammunition, but did no one think to double check to see if that was the case??? Awwww, the nerd gave his life up for those who tormented him. They're doing all this right next to a carnival?

Okay, so I like when Chucky's face gets all two-faced because of the scythe, but why on earth would a ride have a real, sharp blade on a ride? Someone should be sued. Why is Chucky exploding like that? Dramatic effect?

10.13.17 NEW

So we're getting really into Child's Play and we need to watch more ghost movies, so we picked this one. I don't remember this real well, I just remember that the dad from the Munsters is super old and a dead cat comes back so we'll see how well it holds up.

Dumb little girl falls off a swing and now the little boy was completely unattended. Both dumb parents. I can't get over Mr. Munster. I keep looking at him going, why is your scalp so round? The dad in this story is pretty hot though. Not gonna lie.

The whole concept of a pet crematory being kept up for so long is actually kind of weird in today's time. Mostly all dead pets are being incinerated now. I wish my cat slept with me in bed like that. I can barely get him to look at me when I want to. And Winston Churchill is a very weird name for a cat...I really hope the daughter thought that one up.

*beep* that boy looks *beep* up. His brains are literally coming out of his head. I don't believe he'll make it. Okay, that is kinda scary with the dead guy coming back to scare the doctor and then showing up in his bedroom like American Werewolf in London.

Who is this dead guy anyway? We have absolutely no idea aside from a bunch of people stating he was hit by a car. That's it. What's his connection to the pet cemetery? How does he know what he knows? I'm confused...what barrier is he talking about? What does he want them to do? So far I'm having a very difficult time understanding what he hell the ghost/zombie/dead guy is saying.

Poor Church...but we all saw that coming. Why was it so stuck in the ground if its cold outside? That was strange. And of course, when Judd takes the father to bury the cat, they go to the place where the dead guy said not to go. Typical. And why are they climbing over all that *beep* Is it really that necessary? What does Judd know? Jesus, how the hell does that old man bound over mountains of rock and brush?

Does he get it? Judd has said two exact phrases from the dead guy and is always looking really weird from across the road.

Church is back and he's got the creepy glowing eyes! But, let's face it, if you buried something that clearly was dead and now it's back, would you allow it to be around your children and sleep in their beds?

If you know what would happen, that it would transform into an aggressive beast, why the *beep* would you allow someone else to do it?

Stephen King is in this as a pasture! He was probably coked out of his head at the time. What's up with the scary sister that the mom is describing? Jesus. Did she just say that dumb *beep* How on earth did that kid make it that far? I was not expecting him to die. That's deep right there.

Oh, now we all know what he's going to do.

WHO IS THE DEAD GUY SUPPOSED TO BE?!?!?

Okay, now this movie takes a turn with dead sons and trying to bring them back from the dead. That's heart breaking watching him dig up his dead son and hold him so close. I don't know quite what the sister is supposed to fit into all this. She keeps coming back, but I'm not sure what she signifies that's so important.

So the dead guy is helping her to get back to her husband to try and stop him? What the *beep* was the face coming out of the rocks? WTF? Why is the little dead boy now going to kill the old man? What did the old man do to him? This is giving me serious Chucky vibes. For a small child, he sure can slice through a foot. Wow this kid can act. Oh my god he's eating his throat!!!!! Did not see that coming. Poor Mr. Munster.

What is going on?!?!?!? Why does the sister reappear and vanish into the dead little boy who is now dressed up as a the weird lady in the picture at the mother's parent's house? I think the little girl has the Shine. The child phone calling is super *beep* up. What happened to the house?!?!

No fair....no fair...this kid deserves an Oscar for his performance. The dad is a total *beep* who allowed his grief to cause the deaths of multiple people including his wife. Are you kidding me? He's going to try it with his wife? WTF...he's so *beep* dumb.

10.14.17

Out of all of the Chucky movies, I remember this one the most. It's definitely a more cognizant of what it is. I love the intro with Jason's mask, Leatherface's chainsaw, and Michael Myer's mask. I think the edition of Jennifer Tilly was a master stroke. I still can't believe this is only supposed to take place a month after Child's Play 3.

It's weird that John Ritter and Katherine Heigl are in this. Apparently she's really difficult to work with. The boyfriend is totally gay. Voodoo for dummies, it actually kind of self referential (get it, cuz Chucky is a dummy. Alexis Arquette is a great fit, but he's just really weird looking on the screen. It's weird seeing him as a man, when he had transitioned a while ago. He died not too long ago.

I love the squabbling between lovers who haven't seen each other in 10 years, and Chucky is definitely a misogynistic *beep* who has commitment issues. She's sad that her serial killer, psychopathic, doll of a lover won't settle down with her. As she cries next to a dead body. They give an homage to Bride of Frankenstein which is apt. Why was Chucky's body buried in New York? I thought it all took place in Chicago.

The comedic value of this film is actually kind of refreshing. I love how Tiffany's idol is Martha Stewart. Hahah, a pinhead reference as poor John Ritter's face is peppered with nails. There are so many pop references in this movie.

Chucky pumping his fist to Rob Zombie while Tiffany describes her wedding is just fun. They laugh at themselves in such the creepiest way. I will say that the kills in this movie are at least well thought out and unique.

I forgot that these dolls have sex. Oh my god. Asking if Chucky has a rubber while thrusting inside of her is both crazy and hilarious. I just don't think it goes far enough. If you're going to have two dolls have conscious sex with one another.

Why was Chucky buried in New York? They never explain why everyone is headed to New York, which you think would be important for the audience to understand.

It's interesting how the couple try to pit Tiffany and Chucky against each other. All in all this movie isn't as great as I remember it to be. It's not that scary, it does have some great kill scenes, but I think they jumped on the Scream band wagon without much actual thought. I think I prefer this film over 3, but honestly not by much.

Get off my knife...

10.14.17

I haven't seen this in forever. I remember taking Holly Bradford to the movies to see this with my mom on a "date". I don't really consider this horror, but it follows the ghost theme we have and I'm curse to see how it holds up since it really didn't get a great reaction from critics, but it has Michelle and Harrison, so how could it not be at least well acted?

Actually, Harrison Ford is kinda ripped in bed, typing on his really old laptop. I'm quite surprised, but this is almost 18 years ago. I just *beep* love Michelle Pfeiffer!!! I kinda of wish that they were actually married.

I worry this film is along the same lines as The Others. I'm not sure what the deal is with the neighbors. I can't remember what kind of part they play in this film. Oh wait, it's like a bait and switch where the audience is supposed to believe that they're the issue.

The house is super beautiful and on the lake and who doesn't want that? And the friend's car is really hot, too. This is giving me Hitchcockian fierceness. I like the scene where Harrison and Michelle are having a conversation in the car, and all you can see is their eyes through the mirrors. I love just the hint of a face in the water. It's trying not to be overt, but subtle.

Oh those women, always believing in superstition and whatnot. Just make fun of them and laugh it off at dinner. Whatever Michelle Pfeiffer told me, I'd believe it 100%. She just looks so damn good in this movie. So when she sees another woman's reflection in the bathtub water, I'd *beep* believe her and get the hell out of here.

The psychiatrist doling out Fire Balls? The scene with the the friend, the wine, and the Ouija board is interesting and I can't believe they just laugh it off like nothing actually happened. The candle did go out and the thing moved all on its own.

How hot is the water in that house? It fills up that bathroom and then pours out from below the door like no one's business. Obviously they are trying to make her sound crazy because they keep dropping hints about the car accident a year ago, but I'm sorry, they should have made the whole liquid that paralyzes you a bigger thing because it's really easy to miss.

So wait, I kept thinking that she's seeing Harrison's old wife that he killed, but it's not. I think she was an intern that Harrison was having an affair with, but kills her. You're telling me now she is just remembering?

I forgot how manipulative Harrison Ford's character is, pretending to be electrocuted, pretending to know just enough to put his wife at ease by saying he does know about the disappearance. Possession as a piece of hair drags her down into the lake. That's a little strange/weird (but not in a good way).

It's really strange to see Harrison Ford as a villain. He's like the epitome of the hero in blockbuster movies. I like the Hitchcock moment of when the camera goes under the floor. When he talks about the step-daughter getting closer because of her "suicide" and then kisses her is the creepiest thing Harrison Ford has ever done.

This movie takes way too long to get to the better parts of this film. I would not have made this movie 2+ hours. I would have made it a tight hour and 30 minutes. It slogs hardcore for most of the beginning and the middle. The last half hour is by far superior.

10.20.17

We went over to my mother's house and spent the night because, go figure, this is one of her favorite scary movies and I have to say it's quickly becoming one of mine. The female lead is someone I feel like I've only ever seen her in this picture. I think it's an interesting idea that it revolves around her work at a bank and vying, as a woman, for an assistant manager position against a man who's only been there a short while.

So the fortune teller guy says that the demon comes when a gypsy takes an object from someone, curses it and gives it back but how does that account for the boy in the beginning? He stole the necklace. It wasn't like the gypsy took the necklace back, cursed it, and then handed it over. Hmmmmm...

It's hard to feel for the old woman because the bank has given her two extensions which means she had enough time to figure out what the hell to do in order to save her house. What did she honestly think a third extension would do? She'd be in the same position, just a month or so later. She's the one who begs and puts herself in this position. Did she think that kissing someone's skirt would turn their entire position around? Shaming her? No, it's just called stop being creepy really close to me.

The parking garage scene is probably the best and one thing I love that Raimi does is beat the *beep* out of his characters. Both the girl and the old woman beat the *beep* out of each other, taking staples to the face, crashing the car twice, and then shoving a ruler down the old woman's throat. The bitch is strong. You can't really feel bad for the old lady. She's the one who put herself in this position, and now she's stalking and forcibly trying to beat her up.

The goat demon is pretty awesome in the way that it plays with shadows in broad daylight. Alexcis was so upset when she decided that the little kitty needed to be sacrificed. And mom laughs to *beep* hard anytime the old woman puts gums her mouth against the girl's face which I will say is pretty hilarious.

The old lady says she has nothing, but when the girl goes to the granddaughters house there is clearly a vibrant community she is a part of. Did no one help her? Did no one see this situation of hers coming? No one decided to step in? They'll all be at the funeral but not through the hard times. That's a head scratcher. Man that old lady, even in death, loves to pull that girl's hair. She does it like five times through this film.

I'm sorry, but if someone's nose started to bleed like that and then they threw up that hard with all that blood, they'd be practically dead and I certainly wouldn't allow them to just leave like that. Did I get any in my mouth? lol....

The goat calling the girl a whore is priceless...

I love the abrupt ending. She sees the button and then falls and is immediately swallowed up by the demon and it literally just ends. I'm surprised Raimi hasn't done more of this because I certainly would go see it. I'm also surprised this was PG-13. I would have liked a hard R rating, but we did was the unrated cut so it very well could have been, but I would have liked more.

10.21.17 NEW

Okay, so they steal from people's houses. I think the one guy is really hot, the other guys is a total *beep* He pissed on their floors and knocked over vases. That's not cool. You have to have a burglar's code, right? Oh so the hot guy's dad works at a security firm.

Why would a guy live in the middle of a place that's completely run down and basically deserted? And you are a special kind of terrible for robbing a blind veteran whose daughter was killed in a car accident.

How did the hot guy fall into this crowd? He seems like his family is okay, middle class at worst. How did he get involved with this Money? Money is just screaming to die.

Well, and he's dead, but hey he really did deserve it. The hot guy should have stayed out of the *beep* house!!!! Jesus, these kids are *beep* stupid.

You're telling me the blind man can smell their shoes, but he couldn't smell the hot guy as he passed him in the hall or being in the same room as him. WTF is that woman doing in his basement?!?! Okay, so now I don't feel so bad about what they're doing to this blind guy because he's taken this woman hostage.

Well, now she's dead too. I will say this is a pretty good thriller. I mean, the basement scene is particularly good when they're all in the dark and she's coming up on him without actually knowing. The hot guy just can't get out of the house. I really hope he doesn't die, but he's totally going to because the only one who normally lives in the woman. I wonder why that is.

And he's dead now. I will say probably one of the best things in this movie is when she takes the turkey baster and slams it down his throat and he chokes on his own cum.

In all honest, it was one of the better thrillers that I've seen in a really long time. It was suspenseful, well shot, and a great original idea. However, I found myself (and maybe it's because he's hot and reluctantly does whatever Rocky says) more sympathetic toward Alex than Rocky. I know her backstory is supposed make me feel for her, and it did to a degree. I'm pretty impressed with this picture.

10.23.17 NEW

Okay, so I'm not sure what that opening was all about. Then you get the terrible CGI sperm swimming through the canal and the terrible CGI baby in the womb. You can tell that this movie had a low budget and it was was responsible for running the franchise into the ground. I'm honestly astounded this was the last movie to be released in theaters.

The nightmare sequence is terrible, but so is the voice over when he wakes up. It's funny he thinks he's Japanese. This meta-thing is interesting, but I feel like it's the "Stab" version of Scream. It's a little bit of a tired event, especially in 2004. The look they give each other after they behead the crew member is actually kind of poignant and a little amazing.

When they take his pants off, their looks are priceless. I love how it plays off of parents wanting a certain gender for their child and the rivalry they have trying to define Glen/Glenda's character. I will say that this does break ground in that sense that the child is intersex.

John Waters is in this film...jesus...that's actually pretty brilliant. I do like the dynamics between Chucky and Tiffany. I think they definitely have something there. And clearly John Waters is going to die. I do think it's amazing that he's in this picture.

So you see doll boobs and Chucky jacking off. What's not to love about this film. And of course Jennifer falls and trips. Oh my god, it's another turkey baster. This movie is just at another level that frankly, Bride would have loved to be at.

I will say that this is definitely Jennifer Tilly's movie.

This movie is way over the edge. Now he's in a dress, and then she slaps him and all of a sudden he's crying. I have no idea what the *beep* is going on, but I kind of like it.

Now Chucky wants to be a doll after all? Talk about self-referential treatment. He knows he's a famous slasher.

I'm really torn by this film. On the one hand, I know from online I'm supposed to hate this film, but on the other hand it's just a meta-mess that I'm kind in like with this film. It definitely deserves another rehash at a later date.

10.24.17

So Mitchell had a huge fit because the movies he wanted to watch he finally found out where not available (Suspiria, Lights Out, Ouija: Origin of Evil) so after throwing a fit we decided on Paranormal Activity.

It's another found footage movie, and I have to say this movie is on the same level as the Godfather of found footage movies: The Blair Witch Project. I will say, it doesn't quite meet the same fever pitch, but hey, it's still up there with the best.

I love how it starts out really subtle. You only get a hint of footsteps stomping up the stairs. I didn't remember that they had a pool. I wish that was utilized more in the picture. You could make suspenseful scenes with a pool.


I forgot that the whole reason they bought the camera is because they are already experiencing the paranormal activity. You have to admit that the guy is pretty hot in this and I think he's a much better actor than she is. She kind of comes off as stiff and forced.

The background is quickly rushed over, which I wish they would have explained more because the whole crux of the franchise is about her past.

I think that the characters are a little cliche when watching this. I mean, the boyfriend is quite skeptical and also a little dickish when is comes to her actual fear, but also he does allow the psychic in. She's just a little bit too forced and stiff for me to believe in her. I guess I'm getting second thoughts about this film. But just a touch.

I mean, to have a camera on you 24/7 and have everything documented it's a little much to think you would pour that much time and energy into filming everything that's going on. You don't see him going to work and you don't see her studying as she's a student.

She keeps acting weird, but I just don't buy it. This is definitely a slow burn kind of movie. I do love how the camera's time flips forward until something happens because it creates a sense of dread that the audience is now anticipating something is going to happen.

10.25.17

Who doesn't *beep* love Kevin Bacon?!?!?! I gave this a 6 and I'm not sure why. We will see if this deserves a re-look. This came out at the same time another small child could see dead people. He wants to be a band which I think is slightly hilarious at his age in this movie.

The clothing in this film is so indicative of the late 90's. That hypnotism is actually kind of a cliche version of what hypnotism is supposed to be. And now old Kev can't quite get it up or at least sustain himself.

So the basic premise is that since he is highly susceptible to hypnotism that his sister-in-law opened his mind to other things meaning he can now see dead people? I do like the fact that both the child and the father can see her and that they work together on trying to figure out who it is.

So what's up with the cop? I mean, that's a pretty interesting way to introduce themselves and I like the scene. So is this like the shining? Some people have it and others don't? Do they have a support group?

I love the scenes where the wife is just walking around with no ability to see the girl's ghost. It's something that the audience is clued in on, but that she has no idea about.

Who doesn't love seeing Kevin Bacon shirtless?

All in all this movie is also a slow burn. I do say that I like it more than I originally did. It's interesting in its own right. Trying to get justice for someone who has been murdered.

We all know the dad was in on this. How could he not know? I so thought that he would try and kill Kev. Then the twist, the other dad shows up. That's a great twist. Honestly, it's more of thriller but I do appreciate this picture much more now. I love how one of the dad's does the right thing.