My Top Ten Bar Brawl Movies

It does not matter how many times I see it, I can never get over the initial shock of the sweet, demure (if slightly eccentric) Miss Tam, played to perfection by Summer Glau, turn into a one woman war machine. She can clear a bar quicker than the National Anthem and still look as though she has only just left a treadmill at walking pace.
"You take care of me, Simon. You've always taken care of me. My turn." - 'River Tam.'

At least with the fracas in Sonny's Bar there is a lead up to the confrontation. The Satan's Messengers are quite politely advised that they are not properly dressed, they negotiate a few beers but it becomes obvious that a storm is brewing. Gradually one stage leads to another and then Chazz Palminteri explodes and in the quiet before the storm, the Bikers realise that all is not well.
"Now yous can't leave." - 'Sonny LoSpecchio.'

Spencer Tracy plays the one handed stranger who arrives at Black Rock Railway Halt intent on visiting a local farmer. When the worthy rancher Reno Smith (Robert Ryan) discovers his mission there are several obstacles put in his way, including Coley Trimble (Ernest Borgnine) and Hector David (Lee Marvin). Tracy then has to prove that just because he has lost a hand does not mean that he is disabled and puts his Army training to the test on the henchmen.
"No danger yet? This guy is like a carrier of smallpox! Since he arrived, this town has a fever... an infection. And it's spreading!" - 'John J. Macreedy.'
Nominated for three Academy Awards.

Just when we thought that all Starfleet Academy Cadets were such upright characters, defenders of the peace and so on, we come across a group of them who object to a drunken farm boy (Chris Pine) hitting on the gorgeous Cadet Nyota Uhuru (Zoe Saldana). The fight is short and stopped by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) but still has style and witty banter to its credit.
"You know your father was Captain of a Starship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives. Including your mother's and yours. I dare you to do better." - "James Tiberius Kirk."
One Academy Award.

When Arnold comes back from the future for a second time the audience is not aware at first that he is not only cool, but nice with it. The Terminator needs clothes and transport but the bikers in the cafe are reluctant to part with theirs. Unlike the original, this cyborg has been programmed to respect human life and therefore a less terminal disagreement takes place until the future Governor of California leaves fully equipped to proceed with his mission.
"I need your clothes, boots and your motorcycle."
"You forgot to say please..." - 'The Terminator.'
Four Academy Awards.

Detective Bobby Lupo is gunned down in front of his family by local bad boy Richie Mandano. Bobby's best friend is Gino (Steven Seagal) and you know that means fun and games throughout Brooklyn until the final confrontation. Never upset Mr. Seagal in a pool hall as there are too many balls and sticks that can be used against you.
"Anybody seen Richie? I'm gonna keep comin' back until someone REMEMBERS seein' Richie." - 'Detective Gino Felino NYPD.'

Kirk Douglas plays the last of a dying breed of American, one that only needs a horse and a sky to travel under but he is prepared to risk jail to help rescue his old pal Paul Bondi (Michael Kane). But Paul is prepared to serve his sentence and go home to the wife so 'Jack' breaks out and starts running from Sheriff Morey Johnson (Walter Matthau). Will he make it or will 'civilisation' win and trap him?
"Are you sure you've got the right fellow, we haven't even been introduced." - 'John W. "Jack" Burns.'
Nominated for a BAFTA.

Michael Caine and Robert Duvall have a wonderful time looking after their young great-nephew Walter (Haley Joel Osment). Not only do they regale the twelve year old with the daring tales of their past but they introduce him to experiences and adventures which will prepare him for the rest of his life. One such lesson is how not to upset old boys in the bar, when Duvall shows some local louts that they should respect their elders. It is very funny and perfectly alright to let the children watch as well.
"No more dangerous stuff. No more fighting teenagers. No airplanes. More vegetables, less meat." - 'Garth McCann.' and 'Hub McCann.'

What would a list like this be worth if it did not contain at least one John Wayne fight and one by Randolph Scott? In this movie we get two for the price of one as Randolph plays the crook for probably the only time in his career. There are dirty dealings on the Klondike as the crooked Commissioner plots with Judge Stillman (Samuel S. Hinds) to swindle Wayne and his partner Al Dextry (Harry Carey). But local saloon owner Cherry Malotte (Marlene Dietrich) comes to the rescue and the two protagonists sort it out like gentlemen in her bar.
"I imagine that dress is supposed to have a chilling effect. Well if it is, it isn't working, 'cuz you'd look good to me, baby, in a burlap bag." - 'Roy Glennister.' and 'Alexander McNamara.'
Nominated for an Academy Award.

Just nudging Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu into eleventh place are Marlene Dietrich and Una Merkel in this Black and White classic that set the standard for Girl on Girl fighting for decades. Marlene is the queen of Bottleneck's saloon and wins Boris Stavrogin's "Mr. Callaghan's" (Mischa Auer) trousers in a poker game and his wife played by Una is determined to get them back. The resultant combat is eventually broken up by a little lateral thinking from the new Deputy Sherriff, Tom Destry Jr. (James Stewart) aided by a bucket of water.
"But Mrs. Callahan, you know he would rather be cheated by me than married to you." - 'Frenchy.' and 'Lily Belle Stavrogin "Mrs. Callaghan".'
PS if you do not know why Boris is known as "Mr. Callaghan" you will have to watch the movie.