- Jay Sebring: Is everybody okay?
- Rick Dalton: Well... the fuckin' hippies aren't. That's for goddamn sure.
- Narrator: When you come to the end of the line, with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell.
- Cliff Booth: [to the Manson Family] Oh... wait a minute. I know you. I know all three of you! Yeah, Spahn Ranch! Spahn Ranch, yeah! Woo!
- [turns to Katie]
- Cliff Booth: I don't know your name, but I remember that red hair.
- [turns to Sadie]
- Cliff Booth: And you're Sadie. I remember your white little face.
- [turns to Tex]
- Cliff Booth: And you were on a horsey! Yeah... you are?
- Tex: I'm the Devil. And I'm here to do the Devil's business!
- Cliff Booth: [after a short pause] Nah, it was dumber than that. Something like Rex.
- Sadie: God, shoot him, Tex!
- Cliff Booth: Tex!
- Bruce Lee: You're the one with the big mouth, and I would really enjoy closing it, especially in front of all my friends. But my hands are registered as lethal weapons. That means, we get into a fight, I accidentally kill you? I go to jail.
- Cliff Booth: Anybody accidentally kills anybody in a fight, they go to jail. It's called manslaughter. I think all that lethal weapon horseshit is just an excuse so you dancers never have to get in a real fight.
- Rick Dalton: All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?
- Flamethrower Trainer: Rick, it's a flamethrower.
- Rick Dalton: My buddy and his dog killed two of them and, no shit, I torched the last one.
- Jay Sebring: Torched?
- Rick Dalton: Yeah, I burnt her ass to a crisp.
- Rick Dalton: [during a scene in "The 14 Fists of McCluskey" when his character burns several Nazis alive with a flamethrower] Anybody order fried sauerkraut? Burn, you Nazi bastards! Ha ha ha!
- Cliff Booth: All right. What's the matter, partner?
- Rick Dalton: It's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been.
- Pussycat: Want me to suck your cock while driving?
- Cliff Booth: [thinks for a bit] How old are you?
- Pussycat: What?
- Cliff Booth: How old are you?
- Pussycat: Wow, man. First time anybody asked that in a long time.
- Cliff Booth: What's the answer?
- Pussycat: Okay, we gonna play kiddie games? Eighteen. Feel better?
- Cliff Booth: You got some I.D., you know, like, a driver's license or something?
- Pussycat: [laughing] Are you joking?
- Cliff Booth: No, I'm not. I need to see something official that verifies that you're eighteen, which you don't have because you're not.
- Pussycat: Talk about a bring-down bummer, dude. That's you.
- Cliff Booth: Yeah.
- Pussycat: Obviously, I'm not too young to fuck you, but obviously, you are too old to fuck me.
- Cliff Booth: What I'm too old to do is go to jail for poon tang. Prison tried to get me all my life, ain't got me yet. Day it does, it won't be because of you. No offense.
- Gypsy: Welcome to our community.
- Cliff Booth: Thanks for having me.
- Gypsy: And thanks for giving our precious Pussy a ride home.
- Cliff Booth: Think nothing of it.
- Gypsy: We love Pussy.
- Cliff Booth: Yes, we do.
- [Rick and Cliff are being interviewed on location for "Bounty Law" by a NBC journalist]
- Allen Kincade: Hello, everybody! This is Allen Kincade, on the set of the exciting hit NBC and Screen Gems television series "Bounty Law".
- [gesturing to Rick and Cliff sitting side by side]
- Allen Kincade: Now if you think you're seeing double, don't adjust your television sets, because, well, in a way you are. To my right is "Bounty Law" series lead and Jake Cahill himself, Rick Dalton. And to my left is Rick's stunt double, Cliff Booth. Welcome, gentlemen and thanks for taking the time to visit with us.
- Rick Dalton: Well, it's our pleasure, Al.
- Allen Kincade: So Rick uh, explain to the audience exactly what it is a stunt double does.
- Rick Dalton: Well... Actors are required to a lot of dangerous stuff. Well... Say Jake Cahill gets shot off a horse. Now can I fall off the horse? Yes, I can. Yes, I have.
- [the three chuckle]
- Rick Dalton: Let's say I fall off wrong and I and I sprain my wrist or I- or I twist my ankle, now... that can put an undue burden on production 'cause now maybe I can't work for a week. So, Cliff here is meant to help carry the load.
- Allen Kincade: Is that, uh, how you describe your job, Cliff?
- Cliff Booth: What, carrying his load?
- [beat]
- Cliff Booth: Yeah, that's about right.
- Allen Kincade: Join me next week on the set of The Dick Van Dyke Show where I'll be talking to those comical cut-ups Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie. Till then, this is Allen Kincaid signing off from Hollywood!
- Marvin Schwarz: So Rick, who's gonna kick the shit out of you next week? Mannix? The Man from U.N.C.L.E.? The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.? How about Batman and Robin?
- [pantomimes the fight choreography]
- Marvin Schwarz: Ping! Pow! Choom! Zoom! Down goes you, down goes your career as a leading man.
- Rick Dalton: Look, chief. You don't belong here. Now take this mechanical asshole and get it off my fucking street!
- [drinks from blender of margaritas, walks to the front of the car]
- Rick Dalton: Hey, Dennis Hopper! Move this fucking piece of shit!
- Marvin Schwarz: It is so much fun. All the shooting...
- [Marvin imitates machine gun noises]
- Marvin Schwarz: I love that stuff, you know, with the killing.
- Rick Dalton: Lot of killing, lot of killing.
- Trudi: I don't like names like 'Pumpkin Puss'... but since you're upset, we'll talk about it some other time.
- Trudi: I believe it's the job of an actor - and I say actor, not actress because the word actress is nonsensical - it's the actor's job to avoid impediments to their performance. It's the actor's job to strive for one hundred percent effectiveness. Naturally, we never succeed, but it's the pursuit..that's meaningful.
- [while watching an episode of the FBI]
- Cliff Booth: All the streets are silent... except when Rick Dalton's got a fucking shotgun, I'll tell you that.
- Trudi: [whispering in his ear] That was the best acting I've ever seen in my whole life.
- Rick Dalton: Thank you.
- [Trudi walks away. Rick seems touched by her compliment]
- Rick Dalton: [to himself] Rick fuckin' Dalton!
- Cliff Booth: If something were to happen to my boss's car, well, I'd get in trouble. Lucky for you, he's got a spare. Fix it!
- Clem: [laughs] Fuck you!
- Cliff Booth: [as The Family members advance on him as he beats Clem] Stay Where You Fucking Are... Or I'll KNOCK HIS FUCKING TEETH OUT!
- Sharon Tate: [to Jay Sebring] Aww, what's the matter? You afraid I'll tell Jim Morrison you were dancing to Paul Revere & The Raiders? Are they not cool enough for you?
- Rick Dalton: [as his Lancer character] I ain't gonna hurt her. I just want her to play the fiddle. Now go fetch her and tell her I'll give her a fat, five-dollar gold piece if she play her little chili pepper heart out!
- Randy: What's up, babe?
- Janet: What's up, Randy, is that your loser arsehole, wife-killing buddy boy here was beating the shit out of Bruce!
- Randy: What?
- Cliff Booth: Hey, Randy.
- Randy: Cliff! What the fuck, man!
- Bruce Lee: Let me just say, nobody beat the shit out of Bruce. It was a friendly contest. He barely touched me.
- [scene during credits]
- Rick Dalton: Better drag. More flavor. Less throat burn. That's the Red Apple way.
- Sadie: We are in fucking Hollywood, man. The people an entire generation grew up watching kill people, live here. And they live in pigshit fucking luxury. I say fuck 'em. I say we cut their cocks off and make them eat it.
- [yelling after Cliff, who is leaving Spahn Ranch]
- Pussycat: George isn't blind! YOU'RE THE BLIND ONE!
- Steve McQueen: Jay loves Sharon. That's what's up. And he knows, as sure as God made little green apples, that one of these days that Polish prick's gonna fuck things up and when he does, Jay's gonna be there.
- Cliff Booth: George, I just want to make sure you're okay - and that all these hippies weren't taking advantage of you.
- George Spahn: Squeaky?
- Cliff Booth: Yeah.
- George Spahn: She - loves me. So, suck on that.
- Francesca Capucci: [to Katie] Hey, you!
- [punches her in the face]
- Francesca Capucci: How dare you come into my house, motherfucker!
- Rick Dalton: You want me to look like a hippie?
- Sam Wanamaker: Think less hippie, more Hells Angel. Wroom! Wroom-wroom!
- Sharon Tate: I'm in the movie. I'm Sharon Tate.
- Bruin Box Office Girl: You're in this?
- Sharon Tate: I play Miss Carlson. That's me.
- Bruin Box Office Girl: But, that's the girl from "Valley of the Dolls."
- Sharon Tate: Well, that's me - the girl from "Valley of the Dolls."
- Bruin Box Office Girl: Really?
- Sharon Tate: Really!
- Bruin Box Office Girl: Hey, Ruben. Come out here. This is the girl from "Valley of the Dolls."
- Movie Theater Manager: Patty Duke?
- Bruin Box Office Girl: No, the other one.
- Movie Theater Manager: The girl from "Peyton Place?"
- Bruin Box Office Girl: No, the other one.
- Sharon Tate: The one who ends up doing dirty movies.
- Movie Theater Manager: Oh.
- Bruin Box Office Girl: She's in this movie.
- Sharon Tate: Sharon Tate.
- Cliff Booth: Is he back there?
- Squeaky Fromme: Door at the end of the hallway. You might have to shake him awake. I fucked his brains out this morning. - He may be tired.