Alpha Channel

It starts with Rick Moranis with a commercial for logos.

Cooking with Marcello: Marcello visits the Vatican, he pinches a girl and gets beat up. Robin Duke is a singing nun selling souvenirs, the Pope is kidnapped by mobsters posing as priests.

Great White North Bob talks about sports and Monday Night Football on Thursdays, Doug refuses to appear.

Crazy Crafts: Molly has a hangover.She shows off a craft she made but can't figure out what it is. She has a guest who she met in a bar last night.

Guy talks about Alpha Channel, a new pay TV channel which shows movies as they are being made.

Bill Needle's Mailbag is cut to seven and a half seconds.

A very funny Alpha Channel sketch, which features Neil Simon and Marsha Mason (Dave and Andrea) working on a script, Marsha cries and chases the camera away. Jane Fonda (Duke) is shooting a scene and screams when she sees Alpha Channel camera. Alan Alda (Flaherty) talks to his agent (Moranis)

Dialing for Dollars Walter Cronkite gets a weird caller who says he wants his blood. The caller tells his to put the phone on his head and take off his jacket, tie and shirt, He starts to do it when the credits roll.