Je brûle de partout

I use it often and I have said it often and a lot ... but I really mean it this time: no pun intended. We are talking about trafficking ... and that is no fun ... well unless a movie like this goes full on "fantasy" mode of course. Acting is sub par to say the least ... but while it starts off strong ... it kind of just has one sex scene after the next after that.

Actually I challenge anyone to put together 5 minutes where you don't have any nudity at all .. well you probably can find enough material for this ... but you get the gist ... this has a lot of sex and nudity. Actually I am surprised there is not explicit version of this movie - at least that is what everyone is saying. On the other hand, this goes beyond softcore ... actually quite a few times you do not just see genitalia ... but "excited" (read erect) penises ... while I did not do any freeze frames to check, there may even be penetration ... why am I saying all this? So you can't say you have not been warned ... is there a story though? Yes barely, but there is one ... not a good one though and quite the irritating one .. and cringe worthy to say the least ... family is not always having your back ...

The one - and only - reason to sit through this umpteenth worthless & dull sex-thriller from Jess Franco is Brigitte Lahaie. She's one of the most beautiful women ever and, especially in the late 70s/early 80s, she was just perfect. Lahaie starred in numerous hardcore adult movies, but - since she was the right girl at the right place at the right time - was also a popular muse for the sleazy directors of contemporary exploitation flicks, like Jean Rollin and Jesus Franco. But even with Lahaie, "I Burn All Over" is a dreadfully dull, uninspired, ugly, and forgettable film. It's about a young girl named Jenny who gets kidnapped and sold to a prostitution network, but the kidnappers want her back when they discover the girl's father is a millionaire. Meanwhile, Jenny is kept prisoner on a boat - a bordello on water - and, together with a dozen of other naked girls, kept in a constant state of lustfulness by some sort of sex-gas that gets spread into their living quarters. Sounds interesting, doesn't it? Well, that's often the case with Jess Franco films but make no mistake. It's terrible, and I recommend watching a FUN movie starring Lahaie; - like "Ta Geule, Je T'Aime" or "Six Swedish Girls in a Boarding School".

It begins with hippies and beatnicks dancing in a cheap 70's club. The generic is SPOKEN, something you have to hear, especially with the voice that speaks. Then we witness Brigitte Lahaie and her male friend do the "seduction dance" and they pick up a bearded guy and a young nymph. When they get out in the daylight - of course ! ever seen a Franco film where people go to bars at night ?? - young and sexy Brigitte steals the guy's car and her friend gets away with the young girl.

Now the rest of the movie is just a pure delirium. The young girl is sold by Lahaie & friend to a whorehouse warden and taken away on a big sexual ship. I'll tell you no more about the story, but you have to know that this movie contains the most INCREDIBLE dialogues I have ever heard, some inventive and psychedelic camera works, and Lahaie at her best. If you usually like Franco's work, you'll fall in love with this one.

I have the strong displeasure of owning the softcore version of this colorful gem, but if you hear about the porn version, make sure to tell me about it...

Je Brule de Partout (1979)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Wacked out Jess Franco film, which he shot in six days and it's obvious he didn't spend an hour on a script. A young woman (Susan Hemmingway) is kidnapped and forced to work in an orgy show but it turns out her daddy own the slave ring. It's clear this was a film Franco didn't have any money to make so he pretty much filmed anything and that anything is basically couples rolling around on the floor naked. Hemmingway is easy on the eyes as usual and Brigitte Lahaie, who went on to be Jean Rollin's lead actress, is also hot. Daniel White's brilliant jazz score keeps things going better than they should.

Susan Hemingway hooks up with a guy at a discoteque (GREAT disco scene!), has unwilling sex (Brigitte Lahaie joins in on the action) and is drugged and sold off to a "deluxe bordello" where a bunch of dirty, moaning girls are kept in a constant state of excitement by some sort of sex-gas that is pumped into their living quarters. This is film has almost non-stop softcore sex but is still interesting for a francophile due to the dark subject matter and claustrophobic, sweaty atmosphere. There is no happy sex in this film, only rape, perversion, sadism and unfulfillment (as usual in Franco's world). Very low budget film, even by Franco's standard, Franco does the best to cover up the absence of a budget, a descent crew and good locations with some interesting/eccentric camera work and angles. I liked it, but it's almost impossible to discuss in terms of "good" and "bad" and I wouldn't recommend to anybody who haven't been bitten by the Franco bug.