Terry Jones est crédité comme jouant...
Fourth Barber • Referee • Anti-racism singer • Silly olympiad commentator #2 • Laparche • Silly Walker • Karl Marx • Mr. Hilton • Albatross Person • Man with hat • Third Yorkshireman • Demonstrator #2 • Wife • Mountie
- Albatross vendor: Albatross... Albatross. ALBATROSS.
- [looks to someone in the crowd]
- Albatross vendor: You're not supposed to be smoking that. Albatross.
- Someone in the crowd: What flavour is it? What flavour is it?
- Albatross person: Seagull sickle... Pelican bon-bon... ALBATROSS.
- Albatross person: I will have two ice creams, please.
- Albatross vendor: I don't have any ice creams, I've just got this albatross. ALBATROSS.
- Albatross person: What flavour is it?
- Albatross vendor: ...Well it's an albatross. Isn't it? It's not any bloody flavour. ALBATROSS.
- Albatross person: It's got to be some flavour, I mean everything's got a flavour.
- Albatross vendor: All right. All right. It's bloody... albatross flavour... Bleedin' seabird bleedin' flavour. ALBATROSS.
- Albatross person: You get wafers with it?
- Albatross vendor: Of course you don't getting fucking wafers with it, you cunt. It's a fucking albatross isn't it.
- Hygiene squad policeman 1: First, there is the Cherry Fondue. Now, this is extremely nasty, but we can't prosecute you for that.
- Mr Milton, owner of Whizzo Chocolate: Agreed!
- First Barber, Second Barber, Third Barber, Fourth Barber: [singing] Sit on my face and tell me that you love me, I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too, I love to hear you oralise, when I'm between your thighs you blow me away. Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you, I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly, life can be fine if we both 69, if we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play till we're blown away.
- Arthur Nudge: Does your, eh, does your wife a goer? Eh? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, know what I mean? Say no more.
- Man with hat: I - I beg your pardon.
- Arthur Nudge: Your, eh, your wife. Does she go? Eh? Does she go? Eh, eh?
- Man with hat: Well, she sometimes has to go. Oh yes, of course.
- Arthur Nudge: I bet she does. I bet she does! Say no more, say no more. Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge.
- Man with hat: I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
- Arthur Nudge: Oh! Follow me, follow me. That's good. That's very good. A nudge as good as a wink to a blind bat.
- Man with hat: Are you selling something?
- Arthur Nudge: Selling? Selling? Very good, in deed. You're wicked, you are. Eh? Wicked! Eh? Woo-woo! Wooo! Wicked! Say no more!
- Man with hat: Are you insinuating something?
- Arthur Nudge: Oh! Oh, no, no. Yes!
- Man with hat: Well?
- Arthur Nudge: Well, I mean, you're a - you're a man of the world squire. You've, eh, you've been around, you know.
- Man with hat: What do you mean?
- Arthur Nudge: Well, I mean, like, you've a - you know, you like, eh, you've done it, you know. You've, eh, *slept* - with a lady.
- Man with hat: Yes.
- Arthur Nudge: What's it like?
- Lumberjack, Best Girl, Mountie, Mountie, Mountie, Mountie, Mountie: [singing] I'm a lumberjack, And I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day
- Lumberjack: I cut down trees, I wear high heels, Suspenders, And a bra, I wish I'd been a girlie, Just like my dear Papa...
- Lumberjack, Best Girl, Mountie, Mountie, Mountie, Mountie, Mountie: [singing] I'm a lumberjack, And I'm O.K., I sleep all night, And I work all day
- Lumberjack: I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers, I put on women's clothing, And hang around in bars...