Los Thunderbirds

Once upon a time young children sat down with their Fathers or maybe their bigger siblings and they watched a show. It was a television program that held them transfixed with tales of bravura and technological wonders. Lots of young children dreamed beautiful creative dreams because of this show.

Fast forward to Christmas 2004. Lots of kids are gonna get a DVD called "Thunderbirds". The producers of this movie should get used to the singular "clang" sound because I can imagine lots of kids are going to toss this into wastebaskets the day after (or maybe the same day). They are throwing away the most thickheaded attempt at re-creating television greatness that this reviewer has ever seen.

I am not saying that the original "The Thunderbirds" was the best of shows. It was a puppet show for chrissake! It had huge limitations based on what we know today.

But then? If you were a seven to fourteen year old kid? The Thunderbirds was it! Jeff Tracey led and his sons followed, spirited and eager. Scott was the eldest and Jeff's "rock". He had Thunderbird 1….reconnaissance and remote command and control platform . Virgil had the looks but was so committed to Dad and the project. He had Thunderbird 2……the perennial heavy duty workhorse. Gordon, John and Alan had the tough job of being expert in all the rest of the equipment….all heroes. And then there was Brains. An unparalleled engineering genius and our little secret. As much a part of the team as any other single member. As much flawed and quirky as he was amazing and lovable. Brains was not perfect, but he was the best Mother Earth had to offer.

But the true beauty of this old show, the reason all of us got up at 6.00am to watch, was those wonderful beasts, the Thunderbirds themselves. Gerry Anderson knew that his creations were the star of the show and he made sure they were kept front and center.

So, with this movie, what the hell where the producers thinking?

Whoever was in charge, and I am not saying it was the Jonathan Frakes, had simply no idea. Obviously they had no idea that they were playing with an institution as opposed to a "cool plot idea".

The whole movie was two things…….a Spy Kids clone and a running advertisement for Ford……..and that's it!

OK, the technical stuff was there. I thought the updating of our beloved Thunderbirds was quite good to a point.

And Tracey Island seemed up to it. Had all the right stuff, except we never saw it work right.

After that? It was all downhill into the pits. And it went pretty low.

The script wasn't written, it was excreted. The casting was abysmal. The costuming was third rate.

As a Father, I would be embarrassed if my son said this was a cool film. It would mean I would have to explain to him why it isn't. He is gonna see the original series one day so I have to.

Whoever the mastermind is that concocted this mess should go away. To the producers that still own the rights? Give it another shot. People want to see the Tracey's solving problems as they do. Make my kids proud. Make me proud.

OK..this movie could have been soooo good! All generations have been exposed to Thunderbirds and have come to love it and this film had some of the features one would look for in a good thunderbirds movie. The craft themselves and Tracey Island were realistically transferred to the big screen, whilst still keeping to the designs we fell in love with. Sophia Miles was, simply, fantastic, as Lady P and Bill Paxton, whilst not exactly who I envisaged Jeff Tracey being, was solid enough...but then the adults were taken out of the equation and we were asked to believe 8 year olds could fly 200 tonne machines.

It's not so much the fact that the movie was centred around the children that made me feel like Jonathon Frakes was slapping me with a wet fish and laughing at my hard earned money spent on the film, it was the fact that Alan Tracey was so obnoxious in the film and that he seemed to be as able to fly the machines as well as his brothers...who were at least 19/20. Seriously, these are some pretty damn simple machines to use if this is the case.

The film didn't seem to know whether it wanted to be serious or farcical. It tried to pay homage whilst satirising and it just generally fell flat on its face. 3/10 (2 for the machines, 1 for Lady P)

OK I admit it I'm a lifelong TBirds fan. The first episode screened when I was three and a half and I've been hooked ever since. I don't think the producers and director of this film were, the spirit isn't there. Thunderbirds is a fantastic franchise potential, in that there is very little evil in the show.I know there's the hood but he doesn't always appear, the only constant is peoples lives being saved in tense and action packed ways that require kid friendly super- machines. How can you lose. Hardly any killing or swearing and gritty action.

The original was made for kids in as much as it was puppets but all The Century 21 series would have used live action if Gerry Anderson and ITC could have afforded it and the stories did not talk down to or patronise their audience with the result I can still happily watch them today with my little girl. This is the kind of kids film that used to go down well at the ABC minors when mum went shopping. It doesn't have as much of the dual adult and kids appeal of the original and will probably appeal mostly to the younger children who (if they can get you to take 'em, it's a PG) aren't really going to mind the poor humour, and won't remember what Thunderbird 2 should look like or that Lady P wouldn't be seen dead in a Ford. Or that the original Tracy family were too smart to ever all go on the same rescue at once and therefore fall into traps.

The casting is mixed really. Jeff looks far too young to be a father of five and the hood is good old English Ben Kingsley! when he obviously should have been Burt Kwok with his head shaved. TinTin is just too "american teen" with non of the asian dignity and reserve needed for her future life of looking after the ailing Kirano and the Tracy boys blend a little but then I used to get Alan and Gordon confused originally and there will never be an actor with Shane Rimmers voice and Scott Tracy's looks outside of Kirk Douglas and sadly he's had his day for action parts. The Action is however pretty good. Except for the monorail, which for some reason looks more like a model than anything Derek Meddings ever did on the telly, the thunderbirds do pay reasonable lipservice to the original designs and there is still enough here to cling to the hope that it could be rescued by a sequel with a better plot, brains Jr and TinTin sent off to University and Allan doing a decent days work for a decent days pay.

'Thunderbirds' was an immensely popular Sixties show that has transcended the years and generations to the point it is still as popular now, with both adults and children alike, as it was in its heyday. So, one would deduce the chance to produce a live-action feature film with a million pound Hollywood budget was an excellent opportunity to revive the series as has been done with 'Spider-Man' and 'The X-Men'. But a terrible storyline and bland acting obliterated this opportunity and it was soon apparent all that was destined for this film was a trip to the bargain bin of the kiddies' section.

Instead of a film focusing on the five Tracey sons, their father and trusty geek Brain striving to rescue people and protect the world from villains, our hero in this drudge is a malcontent and bratty thirteen-year-old Alan Tracey, fourteen-year-old Tin-tin and ten-year-old brain-box Fermat, son of Brains (yes, Brains' son despite this being a man who could surely never score a woman if he tried; maybe he grew the kid in a petri dish). As one can tell from a run-through of our three lead characters, this 2004 remake 'Thunderbirds' was clearly aimed at entertaining only children under twelve instead of trying to appeal to a broad age-range as those involved in the much superior revival of 'Spider-Man' did. The plot itself was so bland with clunky, awkward dialogue and weak jokes that probably wouldn't amuse brighter pre-teens. The scriptwriter seemed more interested in ripping off 'Spy Kids' (which was at least quirky and original) instead of remaking the show people know and love.

Although Sophia Myles and Ron Cook were excellent as Miss Penelope and Parker, they only had about three lines between them so their presence was barely felt. Bill Paxton's Jeff Tracey was just boring and there was only the slightest of mention of the other four Tracey boys while Anthony Edwards and Ben Kingsley, as Brains and the Hood respectively, were just embarrassing. The Hood, in particular, is not at all threatening or sinister and instead comes across as a campy, two-bit stereotypical villain as limp as a piece of rotting lettuce.

Brady Corbet, who plays Alan Tracey, may well be a good young actor but it was hard to see that in a film where he plays a whinging brat who just grates and the same goes for Vanessa Anne Hutchinson as Tin-tin since the most she gets to do is look pretty and be all for 'Girl Power'. Ironically, it is young Soren Fulton's Fermat who is the only interesting character of the film as Fulton delivers a natural and relaxed performance.

'Thunderbirds' the series will be forever remembered as an excellent show that proves puppets can give solid performances! 'Thunderbirds' the film will be forgotten by most and remembered by a few as one big flop.

As an admirer of the original television series and despite the 'mixed' reviews, I decided that I would go and see "Thunderbirds" (I did debate whether to go for some time but knew that I eventually would).

I have to say that the film was not as bad as I had feared - unfortunately it wasn't all that good either. I did feel that the film stayed with the "Thunderbirds" concept as originally conceived but went off at a bit of a tangent.

The main problem with this film is that it is a terrible story. The usual rescue activities of the Tracy brothers are confined to the beginning and end of the picture while the middle is devoted to teenage son Alan Tracy trying to outwit The Hood and his cohorts who have seized control of Tracy Island and orbiting communications station Thunderbird Five. The plot is remarkably shallow and a number of opportunities to develop interesting themes (Why The Hood hates Jeff Tracy, the death of Mrs. Tracy, Jeff and Alan, Tintin and Alan) are missed. Deleted scenes on the DVD perhaps?

The original series of "Thunderbirds" never talked down to its audience. It was not afraid of occasionally making social comment or introducing scientific concepts. "Thunderbirds" in its 2004 incarnation is incredibly bland and appears to have been made for those with a tiny attention span (key facts about the characters were repeated several times during the course of the movie).

No-one comes out of this movie particularly well - Ben Kingsley probably gives the best performance as The Hood. I felt terribly sorry for Anthony Edwards (Brains) who struggled to bring anything to his part - the stammer gags were simply embarrassing and pointless. Director Jonathan Frakes (Star Trek: First Contact, Insurrection) does a competent job with the material - it's just a shame about the material.

I did enjoy most of the CGI, although viewers can see most of this in the trailer. A shot of Thunderbirds 1 and 2 looming over a hospital were particularly impressive and I would have liked to have seen more of the aircraft in action.

I do hope they have another go at "Thunderbirds". If they do, perhaps they could have a decent rescue featured and more made of the Tracy's ingenious machines (perhaps Scott, Virgil, Gordon and John might even get a few lines?). Lady Penelope needs to be a little more resourceful and come out on top occasionally, like her marionette predecessor.

My advice is that if you have to see this movie, wait to rent the DVD.