Horror/Thriller/Mystery Films to Avoid (2000 - Now)
Some films aren't worth your time. Here's a list.
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Lista de tus selecciones de películas, TV y celebridades.
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- DirectorSteven KnightEstrellasMatthew McConaugheyAnne HathawayDiane LaneUn capitán de barco hace malabares con su misterioso pasado y se encuentra atrapado en una realidad donde nada es lo que parece.Did you like Vanilla Sky? This is a really crappy version of that film. I think the actors were tricked into doing this film.
It starts off a bit weird, but it has potential and mystery. Then there's a plot twist that just makes - no gd sense, and the film that was already hanging on by a thread - goes far, far down the crapper. - DirectorVíctor GarciaEstrellasJolene AndersenSteven BrandDan BuranDos amigos descubren una caja de rompecabezas en México que da rienda suelta a la cenobita Pinhead.Honestly, I couldn't finish this film. That's not something that happens often, and I really tried to finish it.
First, it's not Doug Bradley, and I understand. Maybe he was busy. But, find a decent replacement, and don't make everything else about the film equally awful.
Next, it tries to latch onto the found-footage craze, and then it has bad acting, bad pacing, bad lighting. If one film could sink a whole series, this would be the one. - DirectorMichael TavernaEstrellasMischa BartonJulianne MichelleRebecca De Mornayuna joven se muda a su nuevo apartamento, y mientras desempaca sus cosas, siente la presencia de alguien, lo que la lleva a pensar que no esta sola en la habitación, algo terrible vive en el apartamento 1303.In 3D, to make the pestilence hop off the screen at you...
I'm going to be nice to this film and blame the screenwriter and director, for most of the flaws here, because I've seen most of the main actors before, and they've done better.
It's just that the film is riddled with terrible dialogue and scenes. The characters seem schizophrenic: I'm terrified; no, I'm fine. I barely knew her, but she's worth dying for. I hate you; I love you; no, I hate you...
And what's with the random rap song in the credits? - DirectorJohn LuessenhopEstrellasAlexandra DaddarioTania RaymondeScott EastwoodUna joven viaja a Texas para cobrar una herencia sin saber que la espera un asesino con una motosierra.Whhhyyy!?
I thought the 2003 reboot was excellent, gritty, nice marketing to a young audience, some good performances...
I don't know why this exists. It's bearable, and I watched until the end because the story is different from every other Texas Chainsaw film (don't quote me on that).
But, it feels like something churned out for a quick buck from the college kids. - DirectorDarren Lynn BousmanEstrellasRebecca De MornayJaime KingShawn AshmoreLos sádicos miembros de una familia malvada regresan a la casa de su infancia para aterrorizar a los nuevos propietarios y a sus invitados.The ratings for this on Amazon and IMDB completely boggle me. The film has only three things going for it: some known actors, decent violence, and a director with previous horror genre experience.
But, the film has a flimsy premise: Home invasion - 2 (increased to 4) vs. about 10 people.
They only reason the film "works" is because of a string of really bad decisions made by the protagonists. If I counted the escape opportunities, I'd probably run out of fingers and toes. - DirectorMark TonderaiEstrellasJennifer LawrenceElisabeth ShueMax ThieriotTras mudarse con su madre a una pequeña ciudad, una adolescente descubre que un accidente tuvo lugar al final de la calle. Las cosas se complican cuando entabla amistad con un chico, el único superviviente de ese accidente.I really wanted to like this film, for no other reason than because I love Jennifer Lawrence, and Elizabeth Shue, and I would drink martinis made from their bathwater - especially if they'd been in the bath at the same time...
but, I digress...
It's a film that has the acting and production; it has pretty good tension, a twist, and then it starts into a tailspin and bombs, because of a double twist and poorly written antagonist. - DirectorM.J. BassettEstrellasAdelaide ClemensKit HaringtonSean BeanCuando su padre adoptivo desaparece, Sharon Da Silva se ve envuelta en una realidad extraña y aterradora que contiene respuestas a las horribles pesadillas que la han acosado desde la infancia.Again with the 3D crap.
Adelaide Clemens is a doll, and I thought she was excellent as Heather, but this film is horribly paced. There's about zero emotional build-up.
The most obvious example is the relationship between Heather and Vincent, which goes from creepy stranger to soulmate, with little interaction throughout the film. And Sean Bean missed a perfect opportunity to say "One does not simply appear out of nowhere and date my daughter, mmmkay."
I recommend watching maybe up to the part where Heather and Vincent flee to avoid the cops - then, skip to the fight at the end, and, sure, watch the happy ending, but the rest isn't worth seeing. - DirectorJohn CarpenterEstrellasAmber HeardMamie GummerDanielle PanabakerUna mujer en una institución psiquiátrica es aterrorizada por un fantasma.It's a shame to see one of the masters fall this low.
John Carpenter - just look at that resume.
It's a film about crazy, hot chicks being knocked off (not up), one by one, by a ghost. And then it has a surprise ending too...
It's very bland and predictable, maybe even a tad confusing, and there's not much character development. - DirectorJonathan LevineEstrellasAmber HeardAnson MountWhitney AbleUn grupo de estudiantes de secundaria invitan a Mandy Lane, una chica inocente y deseable, a una fiesta de fin de semana en un rancho aislado. Mientras la fiesta continúa, el número de personas comienza a disminuir misteriosamente.Ugh...this film had so much promise.
The beginning of the film is excellent, and somewhere in the middle, when you discover the killer, and especially when you find out why -- it gets pretty cheesy.
It really could have been so much better. - DirectorTi WestEstrellasSara PaxtonPat HealyKelly McGillisDurante los últimos días en el Yankee Pedlar Inn, dos empleados decididos a descubrir el pasado embrujado del hotel comienzan a experimentar eventos perturbadores cuando los huéspedes mayores se registran para una estancia.I decided to check this out, because of a list recommendation from some website, and because of Ti West, who wrote and directed The House of the Devil, and a V/H/S segment that enjoyed, but after looking at that link, I realize he's done more films I dislike.
This film gets points for style. It's a bit retro, but it's really slow paced, and it doesn't feel like it has a climax.
It's a ghost story, but there's little interaction with the ghosts - not much character development for anyone besides the main two characters.
It feels flat. - DirectorTravis ZariwnyEstrellasGage GolightlyMatthew DaddarioSamuel DavisCinco compañeros de universidad deciden ir a una cabaña en el bosque para disfrutar de sus vacaciones, pero allí se encuentran con un hombre enfermo al que matan accidentalmente, acabando infectados con la misma enfermedad que él.Cabin Fever needed a remake, but it did not this.
I would have to write a full review to point out all the stupid in this film. It is master level stupid - no - grand master stupid.
Possibly the worst of all: The final bit of the film shows a girl checking her social media feed and discovering gross photos of earlier carnage in the film.
We're never told who this girl is - how those photos were taken - or what this has to do with the rest of the film!
If you watch this film, make sure your insurance covers putting your foot through the tv. - DirectorAgnieszka Wojtowicz-VoslooEstrellasChristina RicciLiam NeesonJustin LongDespués de un accidente de coche, una joven atrapada entre la vida y la muerte se encuentra con un director de funeraria que dice tener el don de realizar la transición de los muertos al más allá.What the hell...
Liam Neeson is wasted in this film, and so is Christina Ricci, but I could add two more of her films to this list (Bless the Child, and Cursed).
It's a film that's just - weird, a bit confusing, and it suffers from the same lack of intensity that hit films like The Innkeepers and We Are What We Are. - DirectorNeil LaButeEstrellasNicolas CageEllen BurstynLeelee SobieskiUn sheriff investiga la desaparición de una joven en una pequeña isla y descubre un gran misterio oculto por la comunidad neo-pagana de sus habitantes.It's laughably bad. While the film has other flaws, the biggest issue is Nicholas Cage whose absurd acting murders whatever dark mood the film could've had.
Just do yourself a favor and watch the original. - DirectorJon WattsEstrellasAndy PowersLaura AllenPeter StormareUn padre encuentra un traje de payaso para la fiesta de cumpleaños de su hijo, pero descubre que está maldito.First, the timing: This film was announced in 2010, a few years after the Hostel series that made Roth a hit.
Then the pacing: There is absolutely no build. The film immediately starts with the discovery of the clown suit.
The film is terribly edited and post-processed. I felt like I was watching a reject from a film festival. - and, with the cast and four-year wait, I expected much more.- such a disappointment.
- DirectorAdam WingardEstrellasSharni VinsonJoe SwanbergAJ BowenCuando la familia de Davison es atacada durante su aniversario de boda, la banda de misteriosos asesinos descubre que una de las víctimas tiene un talento innato para defenderse.It's meant to be comedy horror, and the bad-ass female lead is awesome...
But, I didn't think it was especially funny, or frightening. The balance is off, and the needle just danced in the middle, which left me feeling pretty apathetic at the end. - DirectorSean ByrneEstrellasXavier SamuelRobin McLeavyJohn BrumptonCuando Brent rechaza la invitación de Lola al baile de graduación, ella busca vengarse.I think this film and Mother's Day are criminally overrated.
It has some neat little torture scenes, but I feel the film is seriously lacking in the story department. And, I think you can get away with a weak plot, if you tap some drama and add style, but I didn't feel much drama with this film.
I never felt much drama with this film, because of
the pacing: girl asks guy to prom, immediately decides to kidnap him for saying "no" because he has a girlfriend. (If you're going to stalk a guy know who he's dating ffs)
flip-flopping: The scene changing between the kidnapped guy and his friend who goes to prom with this girl he's been dying to date. It made me feel like I was watching two different films at the same time, and only one of them had a conclusion.
There were other things I disliked - bad escape attempts - but, those two were the most distracting. - DirectorSteven R. MonroeEstrellasJemma DallenderJoe AbsolomYavor BaharovCuando Katie acepta una oferta para que le tomen fotos para su portafolio, la experiencia se convierte rápidamente en una pesadilla de violación, tortura y secuestro. Ahora, tendrá que encontrar la fuerza para ejecutar su brutal venganza.This might have been a likable film, if the first film hadn't been so much better.
In the first film, the punishments were brutal, and they fit the crimes. This film also takes the story out of the woods and into the city, and it just doesn't work. It could have: city girl goes to the country, then a country girl goes to the city - I get it, but this film didn't have enough going for it to pull it off.
It's not a terrible film, but it drags the first film down, instead of building on it. - DirectorMathieu KassovitzEstrellasHalle BerryPenélope CruzRobert Downey Jr.Una psiquiatra reprimida se despierta como paciente en el centro donde trabajaba, sin recordar por qué está allí o qué ha hecho.This was back when Dark Castle Films was making a lot of gory, stylish horror. I think this was the point when I stopped paying attention to the company.
It has a lot of style, with the CGI, and Robert Downy Jr. plays his part nicely, but I think all that style and sheen glossed over what was a pretty interesting and disturbing story. - DirectorJim MickleEstrellasBill SageAmbyr ChildersJulia GarnerLos Parkers, una familia que sigue costumbres antiguas, se ve amenazada cuando una tormenta llega a su área, lo que obliga a sus hijas Iris y Rose a asumir responsabilidades más allá de las de una familia típica.This is a slow burn with no bang.
First, there is no mystery about what they are - and that's what drew me to the film: "We Are What We Are" - wooaah, what are they!?
It's obvious very early, so that takes a lot of suspense from the film. And despite some great acting (from Bill Sage in particular), it really drags.
I stuck in to the end, hoping for something great, but it leaves loose ends.
It doesn't have much of a climax. It feels like it stops before it finishes...
(those were puns, by the way) - DirectorWes CravenEstrellasMax ThieriotJohn MagaroDenzel WhitakerUn asesino en serie regresa a su ciudad natal para acechar a siete niños que nacieron en la fecha en la que supuestamente lo enterraron.You know -- it tried. Wes Craven tried.
The story is actually unique, and it's got a set of creepy and odd moments. The opening scenes, especially. - and, it has some brutal moments.
This film is what Insidious may have been, if it had been handled badly - because the idea of soul collecting is one that I don't think I've ever seen with teens and this outcome. But, the idea was too grand to be fumbled, and that's what happened. - DirectorRichard BrandesEstrellasRachel MinerMimi RogersLucy Rogers-CiaffaYoung Penny goes on a retreat with her psychologist; the intention is to help her overcome her phobia, an intense fear of cars. Unexpected events find her in a nightmarish situation where her worst fears come true.When the best actress in the film got killed early, I felt like I was a bait and switch victim.
It's already a film driving on fumes, since the premise is a little flimsy: Girl gets stuck in the woods, in a car - with a killer taunting her, or - trying to kill her, or both - for unknown reasons.
But, what really murders the film is the ending and the big reveal of the killer. - DirectorJohn ShibanEstrellasJaimie AlexanderMichael ChildersJennifer CormackThe film follows Nicole Carrow, a young woman who is threatened by a maniac serial killer after her boyfriend Jess is abducted in a rest stop.What I remember most about this film is yelling at the protagonist and vowing never to watch it again. Then the protagonist became Jaimie Alexander; so, that worked out well for her.
- DirectorJon HarrisEstrellasMichael J. ReynoldsShauna MacdonaldJessika WilliamsLa única superviviente de una exploración espeleológica con fatal desenlace se niega a creer la historia sobre la existencia de monstruos, y se ve obligada a acompañar a las autoridades de nuevo a las cuevas.The Descent is, by far, my most watched film of all time. I think it's a masterpiece.
It did not need a sequel that negates all the emotional sincerity of the first film!
A character that dies (dramatically) in the first film - is not dead (and they never explain how she survived overwhelming odds).
The most richly developed character in the film - dies in ridiculous fashion.
And then there's a little Lake Placid moment at the end that I can't even take seriously. - DirectorGore VerbinskiEstrellasDane DeHaanJason IsaacsMia GothUn joven ejecutivo ambicioso es enviado a recuperar al CEO de su compañía de un idílico pero misterioso "centro de bienestar" en una ubicación remota en los Alpes suizos, pero pronto sospecha que los tratamientos del spa no son lo que parecen.Gore Verbinski does a fine job with the directing. There are plenty of creepy (and beautiful) visuals, but the script must've been crap.
Before I get to that: Was is really necessary to make this film over two hours?
The stupid script points include:
* The lead constantly makes threats while on crutches. Stop it. You can't even walk and you think you can fight a guy with more height and muscle than you.
* The lead leaves a girl with the mind of a child - in a bar with intoxicated men that are practically drooling at the sight of her.
* The lead evades people giving chase and decides to take a smoke break while hiding.
I could go on, but this film is not worth its IMDB rating. - DirectorJennifer KentEstrellasEssie DavisNoah WisemanDaniel HenshallUna madre viuda, asolada por la muerte violenta de su marido, lucha contra el miedo de su hijo a un monstruo que acecha en la casa, pero pronto descubre una presencia siniestra a su alrededor.another film with great advertising but poor delivery, and I'm not even going to raise my blood pressure doing a rant on this one.
It seems like the writer(s) just made up a name and couldn't figure out what to make of the character - so, it became a combination of every idea.