Private Princess Christmas

I am a Hallmark Christmas movie addict and give these movies alot of leeway. But as with other reviews for this movie, I had a difficult time with the storyline, the characters, the acting, the idea that this was actually a Christmas movie, the idea that there was any chemistry between any of the characters, and the fact that it jumped from one ridiculous scene to the next with no depth or continuity. I also had concerns with the movie's moral theme, in that a group of misfits were sent to be improved by a strong military officer, but instead they continued to cheat, give up and rebel. Due to all their antics the commander started to soften and give in to them. At that point all the cadets became caring, compassionate, and united. In addition, they were all able to sing in perfect pitch. Somehow there was a blip of unsubstantiated romance between the two main characters, then a falling out, a bunch of unrelated insights by several of the characters, reconciliations, and thus ending as all Hallmark movies do, with a kiss.

5.4 stars.

It's not the worst thing I've seen, I've seen a whole lot worse. People say it's the worst movie Hallmark has ever made, but while the plot and the silliness and absurdity might be adjacent to the worst, the music, production value and acting are not.

I don't rate the movie in my bottom ten, I've seen almost a thousand Hallmark movies. However, it's certainly in the bottom 5%.

I feel if a film is not technically the trashiest of the trash, for sake of accuracy, I'll tell it like it is.

The actors are okay, the cinematography is good, the music is good, the sets are slightly lacking. What is extremely bad about this film is the story, theme, plot and dialogue. It's a joke. But like I said, these do not comprise the full experience. You have to take into account, the entertainment value, acting, the lighting the music direction. So overall, this is definitely in the bottom of the barrel, and a lost cause, but not utterly garbage.

Retired Army officer checking in here. 29 years in one active or reserve component of either the US Air Force or US Army. I saw the promos and thought the idea had potential. The last few years before retiring from the Army, I worked with high school-level Junior ROTC cadets from a poor urban school district, and they had a lot of the same issues as the "adult" trainees in this movie regarding self-discipline. I thought this had the potential for a great storyline. Then I watched it fall flat on its face!

To use the words of General George S. Patton, "The bilious b------s who wrote that stuff... don't know anything more about {the military} than they do about f--- ing! (And yes, George C. Scott said "fornicating" in his title role in the 1970 movie PATTON, but the real Patton used the REAL F-word!)

It became painfully obvious that nobody involved with the production of this movie ever served in either the US or Canadian armed forces. All they know about military training is the same tired old cliches from watching other movies written by other bilious b------s who don't know either.

A TEN day boot camp? A Junior ROTC summer camp lasts only one or two days more than that, but every cadet attending has had at least a year of classroom instruction before that to prep them in the basics of military customs and courtesies and drill and ceremonies to optimize the use of that time. Every minute is used for a training activity from Reveille (wake-up call) to Lights Out (bedtime). You don't just lollygag and shoot the breeze and argue with the instructors. No activity is optional. Real active military basic training for raw recruits fresh off the streets takes several weeks even for those branches with the least training.

The writers have no concept of military rank structure or command relationships. The things that happened between the Princess and the Captain would never happen in that situation in real life without both of them getting dismissed from the camp and the Captain facing further disciplinary action. This review would probably be twice as long if I were masochistic enough to rewatch the movie and itemize each and every goof and flaw. Let me just say that I can't name anything they got right.

Hallmark has made more than its share of military and veteran themed movies and most of them are decent if not pretty good. I'll go so far as to say that this movie could've been salvaged or even made pretty good with a competent military technical advisor. Heck, if I had a DeLorean with a Flux Capacitor, I'd go back in time and take that job at Scale salary (or even free if allowed by law) just to keep it from becoming the train wreck it turned out to be!

I watched this because I'm a sucker for princess movies. This one was such a let-down, even for a Hallmark movie. The acting was mediocre, - and yes, I know Hallmark movies aren't know for award winning acting, but this one was bad. Derek Klena was in no way convincing as a tough guy in charge of cadets. Ali Skovbye was a little more believable, but not much. British accents (or whatever they were supposed to be) seemed fake - I don't think many of them were authentic. Erica Durance as the queen seemed too young for the role. Watch this movie if you have nothing else to watch or, if me, you just like princess movies, but be prepared - it's not Cinderella.

3.7/10 (Do NOT Recommend)

I feel like this is the first Hallmark film in a long time that I would highly recommend NOT watching. The accents aren't bad, but the acting is extremely terrible. There's no good romance in this movie. There's no emotions in it either. Once you're exposed to the military lifestyle it's nearly impossible to turn off that mentality. Even then, if you can't turn it off, sometimes you can be forgiving, but not here. The whole "military" aspect to this film is atrocious. It's like watching kids play soldier except it's more laughable. Usually these films have some sort of underlying theme that gets you somewhat motivated, but the theme in this movie is so lame and unmotivating. I have nothing good to say about this film, and would highly recommend you NOT include it in your Hallmark Christmas countdown.

That's it for now. Thanks for taking time to read my review. Happy watching and enjoy the show!