Wicker Man

I haven't seen the original, but just wanted to drop a quick note to anyone who happens to scroll down this far: Wicker Man is the worst movie I've seen this year. Maybe even in two years. I wish I could ask the theater for my money back or turn back time to warn myself not to see it.

I'll give it two positive nods: The sarcasm of Cage's character at least got some laughs from me and the scenery of the island was beautiful. Sorry, that's it. Here come the jeers. The movie's plot is only propelled forward because other characters won't give Cage any straight answers--and he puts up with this!!! How this could go on for over an hour of my time(much less days in the movie) is beyond me.

Not to mention that the plot is full of holes. You leave the theater with enough unanswered questions to fill a library. How anyone could read this script and think, "Yes, people should pay $11 to see this shady outline of what a film should look like" is beyond me.

Do not go see this flick. Or even rent it on DVD.

A bad movie is a bad movie but a bad remake is something else entirely. This film doesn't just do a bad job of retelling the original story it takes everything that was good about it and replaces it with a witless and disjointed story.

Nicolas Cage is well cast as a man addicted to some kind of over the counter drugs. I was sick to death of his muttering and dopey face within about five minutes, you might find his routine wearing thin a little faster or slower depending on your tolerance. I think he might have done a little too much preparation for his role. Watching Nicolas Cage mumble his way through the script is quite painful at times, like seeing an elderly dog trying to chase a postman on arthritic legs and not understanding why he can't quite do it anymore.

The original story was quite chilling but here it's all kind of a joke. There's something really repulsive about a director remaking a film when they clearly haven't taken the time to understand the original. The plot is weaker than you would believe without seeing it and the whole war of the sexes thing is just not interesting. The director of this film should be forcibly prevented from remaking any more films, this film is a big fat insult to a classic movie and a sign of how cynical and artless Hollywood has become. Sad times.

As a horror movie, its a 1 out of 10, but as a Comedy, its at least an 8 out of 10. Nicolas Cage's character had me in stitches in so many places, because his acting in this movie is SO bad its hilarious! The last 30 minutes of the movie is pure gold! He punches women constantly, can't figure out people are lying to him, threatens kids, attacks in a bear suit, and has so many unintentionally funny one-liner quotes its just ridiculous, such as "HOWDIDITGETBURNED", "NO! NOT THE BEES!", and "Killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey!". Hell, even the ending of the movie was funny somehow! I saw this at the cinema too, and the audience were laughing as well! It's totally worth buying on DVD as its dirt cheap now.

Ironically though, the "Director's Cut" is supposed to make it more horror-like, but it actually makes the movie even funnier! In conclusion, its a 'classic' for the wrong reasons!

Any movie-goer who has ever watched a movie critic at any point has probably heard of this movie. Wicker Man joins the ranks of films such as The Room, Troll 2, and Battlefield Earth as a hilarious accident that is lightning in a bottle. First of all, I don't know why this remake exists. The original is a cult classic that had some genuinely great moments. I guess that made it a prime target for Hollywood, so here it is. All of the dialog in this movie, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. is hilariously bad or just awkward, or sometimes both. The acting is just awful. Nick Cage turns the scenery chewing up to eleven, and everyone else is either not talented enough or trying too hard to act. Really the strongest parts of this movie are act one and act three. Most of the classic terrible lines (NOT THE BEES! HOW'D IT GET BURNED? What's in the bag, a shark or something?) are in those acts, and enough is happening to keep you entertained. However, the second act where the actual investigating is occurring is just boring. It is incredibly repetitive and turns into just a generic boring investigation flick. I realize that there isn't a film out there that is hilariously terrible for the entire running time, but this one tries. If you can find it for a dollar, and want to see Hollywood gone oh so wrong, give this a try. If you like bad movies, you've seen this already.

Don't let the premise fool you--this was one funny movie. The problem--it wasn't supposed to be a comedy. The story sets you up nicely for an ending that never comes. Even worse, the set-up is NEVER explained. You will leave the theater asking "Is that it?" I rate it a 2 simply because there were a few brief moments of promise, but the finish leaves you completely flat. Nicholas Cage did as good a job as can be expected in the role, but he had very little to work with. There are odd quirks, and interesting turns everywhere, which had absolutely nothing to do with the movie. Let this one come out on video before wasting your money.