The premiere of Madonna's video for "Give Me All Your Luvin,'" the first single off her new album M.D.N.A., is today, children. It's bound to be a little over-the-top and nutty, like the deranged song itself, and I assume it's not going to live up to the greatest stuff in Madonna's catalog. Then I remember: What does live up to the best stuff in Madonna's catalog? Turns out, not much. Madonna's repertoire is a varied and thundering collection of self-empowering pop ditties, soulful ballads, and kooky little anomalies. And they're mostly all irreplaceable. In the tradition of Rolling Stone, who listed their 100 Greatest Beatles Songs a couple years ago, let's reinspect Madonna's complete history and name her definitive 100 jams. Ready? Start disagreeing Now.

100. "Dance 2Night" from Hard Candy

Hard Candy’s most euphoric groove (and best dancefloor-filler) makes the stilted duo...