Nude Nuns with Big Guns

The title is unfortunately way funnier than the movie itself. I guess this also works as a trailer, but not as a whole. Acting and general "execution" (pun intended) are not up with the high concept idea of the movie. The main actress is anything but convincing, the villain on the other hand shows that he had the time of his life (actually some of his quote are really good, but I don't know who to credit for them: screenwriter or the actor himself).

All in all a rather weak "nunsploitation" movie (I think that's the correct term/genre), but then again it is in good company I guess. And as I stated above, some of the quotes are really funny, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

I wanted to like this one a lot more. But there are some glaring problems that keep it from scoring any higher for me.

First the only people I felt were doing anything with their characters were the leads. Which isn't completely bad, at least they cast people who could act some in the leads.

Lighting and sound really have some horrifically bad moments in the film. Characters talking and you couldn't hear them. And the night scenes with a very nice Chevelle SS 396 where you could only see headlights.

A lot of scenes where you could almost hear the director thinking "yeah, I guess that's okay, but you know what, I think we really need all the girls to be naked and rubbing their boobies over everyone on the set." Don't get me wrong, I like naked girls, but there is a point of diminishing returns when almost Every... Single... Scene... in the film is accessorized by boobies.

There are some very good decisions made that were definite pluses to the film. The love story, while expected, did add to the story and was not completely gratuitous. David Castro's villain has most of the best lines, and several times comes dangerously close to being sympathetic. Asun Ortega does crazy very well, and the 'dress whites' as seen in the poster for the film really added to the moment.

This is not a date movie, shoot it's not a mixed company movie in any manner. But for a guilty pleasure movie to watch when you are home alone, you could do worse.

Well personally I am not a fan of the sexploitation movies, not the ones back from the day in the 60s-70s, not the ones from today. But still, being a movie enthusiast, I do try to spread out and watch a multitude of movies.

The story in "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" is about Sister Sarah who is abused by the clergy and subjected to drugs. Recovering from the drug abuse, Sister Sarah is visited by God, who gives her a sacred mission to purge all those who oppose him. Armed with God's will and some big guns, Sister Sarah sets out on a holy mission.

I will say that the story was entertaining enough, but at the same time it was so cheesy and full of plot holes that anything even resembling a coherent storyline fell through and scattered before the wind. This movie is not the type of movie you watch because it has a riveting story.

And it should be said that there is a great amount of nudity and lesbian scenes in this movie, after all it is a sexploitation movie. And there is also a lot of what could best be described as religious sacrilegious stuff (as regarding to Christianity) going on throughout the entire movie. There was something Tarantino and Rodriguez-like over this movie, but then at the same time it never really fully rose up to even reach those directors to the knees. But it was a great enough attempt to imitate their styles. Oddly enough, the movie here did pull that off well enough at its own pace and level. There was that old 70s feel to the movie, gritty and dirty.

As for the acting in the movie, well don't get your hopes up, as most of the people in the movie just put on average performances. However, it should be noted that David Castro (playing Chavo) actually did most of the lifting in the movie, carrying the movie a great way with his performance. The cast is not to blame though, as the script didn't allow the characters to be explored and fleshed out in any type of depth, making them appear as shallow characters, with only Chavo and Sister Sarah showing any kind of character development. The rest of the characters were like generic drones just standing in as fillers.

One thing that was great about the movie was the music, even though they had one particular song that was either used in a previous movie or just a blatant almost note by note copy of that particular song. I just can't remember where I heard it before, though I am partial to say either "Planet Terror" or "Machete". It was something from either a Tarantino or Rodriguez movie, of that I am almost certain.

As a plus, this movie had the most hilarious choking scene I have seen so far in a movie (where Sister Sarah is choking someone with rosary beads).

I am pretty sure that if you are fan of this particular genre of movies, sexploitation, then you might find "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" to be an interesting movie. Personally, I didn't find this movie to be overly interesting, as I am not a fan of this particular genre, but I stuck with it and watched it through to the end.

B) If you are hoping the same level of entertainment as a Rodriguez/Tarantino film, than this is not it. A) It's not the worst film I've seen, but big screen no-go.

It's some amount of crazy, but not enough to be entertaining. Crazy enough to be "Ewwww... and?", but not enough to go "Ewwww... Ohh!?!?!?!". In essence the film lacks the irony in the story.

This film is of the same genre as Kill Bill, Sin City, Gringhouse and Machete. However, this is one of the worst representatives of that genre. It's most comparable to Machete, but the storyline is not augmented by the irony and there is nothing to hook you onto in the story. The script is dragged out. The story could be presented in a 30 minute film. It's a good story for a depressing documentary, not a action, violence, blood and gore film.

This is not about some clergy members being represented corrupt. This is not about drugs. This is not about violence. It's just a shooter with a lot of vengeance, poor action scenes and a too thin layer of the story sprinkled around.

The Mexican cartel have stooped to a new low. They are now resorting to kidnapping people and forcing them into b grade soft porn flicks.

Please give generously to stop this form of human trafficking.

On the lighter side of things, it is a difficult movie to watch. At least everyone had a turn at speaking some lines which would be a plus for any actor. The downside would be the level of flesh you would have to reveal in order to get those lines. You'd be working pretty hard to keep your clothes on in this flick. Sympathy goes out to the pizza boy who had the unfortunate luck to make a delivery to the set and forced to work as evil Hench men number 6 for the extra tip.