Alexander Siddig: Doctor Julian Bashir

Improbable Cause

Doctor Julian Bashir

[Bashir tells Garak the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf]
Dr. Julian Bashir: It's a children's story, about a young shepherd boy who gets lonely while tending his flock. So he cries out to the villagers that a wolf is attacking the sheep. The people come running, but of course there's no wolf. He claims that it's run away and the villagers praise him for his vigilance.
Elim Garak: Clever lad. Charming story.
Dr. Julian Bashir: I'm not finished. The next day, the boy does it again, and the next too. And on the fourth day a wolf really comes. The boy cries out at the top of his lungs, but the villagers ignore him, and the boy, and his flock, are gobbled up.
Elim Garak: Well, that's a little graphic for children, wouldn't you say?
Dr. Julian Bashir: But the point is, if you lie all the time, nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth.
Elim Garak: Are you sure that's the point, Doctor?
Dr. Julian Bashir: Of course. What else could it be?
Elim Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.

Dr. Julian Bashir: Is there anything you need me to do while you're gone?
Elim Garak: Like what?
Dr. Julian Bashir: I don't know. Any unfinished business?
Elim Garak: Actually, Doctor, there is something.
Dr. Julian Bashir: What?
Elim Garak: If you go into my quarters and examine the bulkhead next to the replicator, you'll notice there's a false panel. Behind that panel is a compartment containing an isolinear rod. If I'm not back within 78 hours, I want you to take that rod... and eat it.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Eat it?
Elim Garak: [affirmatively] Mm.
Dr. Julian Bashir: You're joking.
Elim Garak: Yes doctor, I am.

[first lines]
Elim Garak: I'm sorry, Doctor, I just don't see the value of this man's work.
Dr. Julian Bashir: But Garak, Shakespeare is one of the giants of Human literature.
Elim Garak: I knew Brutus was going to kill Caesar in the first act; but Caesar didn't figure it out until the knife was in his back.
Dr. Julian Bashir: But that's what makes it a tragedy. Caesar couldn't conceive that his best friend would plot to kill him.
Elim Garak: Tragedy is not the word I'd use. Farce would be more appropriate.

Commander Sisko: Someone tried to kill you, Garak. Whoever it was may try again, so if I were you, I would give this matter some serious thought.
Elim Garak: Well, let me see. I mean, there's the Nausicaan whose wedding suit I misplaced; and the Yridian I owe money to; and of course, there's always Major Kira.
Dr. Julian Bashir: This is serious, Garak.
Elim Garak: I'm being serious. I don't think she likes me.
Odo: She doesn't. But if she wanted you dead, you would be.
Elim Garak: You do have a point.

Major Kira: About those atmospheric specifications you requested for the Yalosian ambassador?
Doctor Bashir: 60% nitrogen, 10% benzene and the rest hydrogen fluoride, if I recall.
Major Kira: Well, we ran a test in one of the guest quarters. The mixture is so corrosive it dissolved the carpet.
Doctor Bashir: Don't look at me. It's what they breathe.
Major Kira: Then I guess we'll just have to rip out the carpets.
Doctor Bashir: Be sure not to replace it with anything red or orange.
Major Kira: Why not?
Doctor Bashir: They don't see that part of the colour spectrum.