- A.J.: My mom packed me spinach. She wants me to have a healthy colon. What did your mom pack you?
- Timmy Turner: Candy!... And violence!
- Dad: Darnedest thing, son. That random soccer accident jogged my memory and reminded me to set the child blocks on the TV to prevent you from watching any violent programming.
- Timmy Turner: But the dimmsdale sewer gator is all my friends will be talking about tomorrow at school!
- Mom: Well, now you can talk about your feelings. Right, dear?
- Dad: Who are you?
- Mom: Timmy, it's just because...
- Timmy Turner: You care.
- A.J.: And then the gator ripped through those steel bars with one of its 800 razor-sharp teeth.
- Chester McBadbat: How about when he used his tail to crush that truck? How cool was that?
- Timmy Turner: Yeah, but how does that make you feel?
- A.J.: Child blocks?
- Timmy Turner: Child blocks.
- [laughter]
- Dad: Timmy, come in here!
- Timmy Turner: Aw, jeez.
- Dad: I bought a super screen surround-sound television set, equipped with every channel known to man... and several known to monkeys.
- Timmy Turner: Awesome! That must have cost a lot!
- Dad: Ooh, you bet. I had saved that money to pay for your college education, but now I couldn't care less!
- Chester McBadbat: Dude, you reek.
- Timmy Turner: Uh, stomach hurts... feel sick... but look! I got candy!
- A.J.: And B.O.
- Timmy Turner: I can't concentrate. I'm going to fail my math test tomorrow for sure.
- Wanda: Oh, who cares? What's math ever done for you?
- Timmy Turner: Are you guys feeling ok? You're letting your fish bowl get awfully filthy.
- Cosmo: You bet! I'm swimming in my own toilet...
- [Breaks wind]
- Cosmo: And I like it!
- Dad: Look at those animals, wallowing in their perfection. Their total superiority will be their downfall!
- Timmy Turner: Man, this stinks. Everybody's laughing at me because my parents care too much! 'Brush your teeth, turn out the lights, bathe!'
- Cosmo: Mmm mmmm mmm.
- Wanda: That's right, Cosmo. Well, timmy, it just means they love you.
- Timmy Turner: Well, they're suffocating me. I don't want parents who care too much. I wish I had parents who could care less!
- Timmy Turner: Super soccer player Timmy Turner shoot... and scores!
- Mom: Timmy, how many times do I have to tell you? No kicking against the door.
- Timmy Turner: Aw, why not?
- Mom: Because we care about your safety.
- Timmy Turner: How could this possibly be dangerous?
- [Timmy kicks the soccer ball again]
- Dad: Timmy, listen to your mo... Oh!
- [Timmy gulp]
- Chet Ubetcha: Good evening, Dimmsdale. I'm Chet Ubetcha. What has 800 teeth and eats anything that moves? Well, it lives in our sewers, and we have footage of it! Here it comes -- the coolest, most violent footage ever!
- Timmy Turner: Cool!
- Timmy Turner: Uh, can I be excused?
- Mom: Not until you finish all your spinach.
- Timmy Turner: Aw, come on. All of it?
- Dad: You know, Timmy, ordinarily, I'd side with you on this, but my brain's a little scrambled from a random soccer accident!
- Mom: Now, eat. Everybody wants a healthy colon.
- Timmy Turner: Oh, my gosh! When I wished for parents that couldn't care less, it gave me godparents that couldn't care less, too!
- Timmy Turner: [to the Sumo Wrestler] Thanks for having such a big squishy belly.
- Dad: Timmy!
- Mom: Say, excuse me, when you jump out of a sumo wrestler's stomach.
- Timmy Turner: No!
- Timmy Turner: They're gonna kill me for not listening, but it's the only way to get them back to normal.