Sandra Bullock aufgeführt in der Rolle von...
Gracie Hart
- Kathy Morningside: New Jersey, as you know, there are many who consider the Miss United States Pageant to be outdated and anti-feminist. What would you say to them?
- Gracie Hart: Well, I would have to say - I used to be one of them. And then I came here and I realized that these women are smart, terrific people who are just trying to make a difference in the world. And we've become really good friends. I mean, I know we all secretly hope the other one will trip and fall on her face, and - wait a minute, I've already done that! And for me this experience has been one of the most rewarding and liberating experiences of my life.
- [audience applauds]
- Victor Melling: My God, I did it!
- Gracie Hart: And if anyone, anyone - tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you, Kathy.
- Victor Melling: A brief shining moment, and then that mouth!
- Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed! Don't *mess* with me!
- [Explaining why she was with a guy the night before]
- Gracie Hart: I was dating him for a little while because he told me he had an incurable disease...
- All Girls: Ooh.
- Gracie Hart: Yeah, I didn't realize it was stupidity.
- Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me...
- [singsonging]
- Gracie Hart: You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to hug me... You want to smooch me... You want to...
- Victor Melling: The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score.
- Gracie Hart: What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?
- Victor Melling: [teaching Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?
- Gracie Hart: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.
- Eric Matthews: Hart, listen to me. I've waited five years to run my own op. You think I'd blow it on the wrong girl?
- Gracie Hart: No no no, I know the only reason you picked me was because I was the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn't on maternity leave.
- Eric Matthews: No, that's why they *let* me pick you. You wanna know why I picked you?
- Gracie Hart: Lost a bet?
- Eric Matthews: Because you're smart. Because you don't take any crap from people. You're funny. You're easy to talk to when you're not armed. Look, give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pagent ladies some slack cause if they ever get a chance to see what I see then... they're gonna love you.
- Eric Matthews: This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you.
- Gracie Hart: Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.
- Victor Melling: By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?
- Gracie Hart: I will do whatever you want me to do, Yoda.
- Gracie Hart: Look I know what I'm gonna do. I haven't done this since high school but it's like riding a bike.
- Victor Melling: You are not having sex on this stage.
- Gracie Hart: I didn't know that was an option.
- Eric Matthews: You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this.
- Gracie Hart: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts.
- Eric Matthews: Funny, me too.
- Kathy Morningside: Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant...
- Gracie Hart: Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
- Kathy Morningside: Yeah, yeah.
- Gracie Hart: *Yes*!
- Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
- Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?
- Stan Fields: What is the one most important thing our society needs?
- Gracie Hart: That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.
- [crowd is silent]
- Gracie Hart: And world peace!
- [crowd cheers ecstatically]
- Stan Fields: Thank you, Gracie Lou.
- Gracie Hart: And thank *you*, Stan.
- [Gracie walks offstage]
- Victor Melling: That was charming. Are you drunk?
- Gracie Hart: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!
- [Gracie pulls earpiece out of her ear]
- Eric Matthews: Wo wo wo. Wait a minute, what are you doing? Put that back in your ear.
- Gracie Hart: I can't talk girl talk with a guy in my head! I can't even do it with me in my head!
- Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
- Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
- Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.
- Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?
- Gracie Hart: Because it's too hard to fit "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" on a license plate?