Fawlty Towers (1975–1979)
Ballard Berkeley: Major Gowen
Photos
Quotes
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[Basil has accidentally set off the burglar alarm during the fire drill, guests start walking out of the building thinking it's the fire alarm, but Basil stops them all in the lobby]
Mrs. Wilson : Oh I thought that was the drill.
Basil Fawlty : Yes there is, at twelve o'clock.
Mrs. Wilson : But, it is twelve o'clock.
Basil Fawlty : Well not quite.
[to guests that try to leave]
Basil Fawlty : Excuse me!
Mrs. Wilson : Well, I make it twelve o'clock.
Basil Fawlty : [to guests] Im afraid that wasn't the...
Mrs. Wilson : What time do you make it, Major?
Basil Fawlty : [annoyed] Look...
Major Gowen : Burglars about, I think.
Basil Fawlty : Look, it doesn't matter what time he makes it, it hasn't started yet.
Mrs. Sharp : What?
Basil Fawlty : It hasn't started yet!
Mrs. Sharp : But, that was the bell wasn't it?
Basil Fawlty : No!
Mrs. Wilson : He means the *drill* hasn't started yet.
Mr. Sharp : What drill? We didn't hear a drill.
Basil Fawlty : [trying to explain] No, no no no, look, look - that was the burglar alarm.
Major Gowen : See!
Mrs. Wilson : The burglar alarm?
Basil Fawlty : Yes!
Mrs. Wilson : Are there burglars?
Major Gowen : Evidently!
Basil Fawlty : [increasingly annoyed] No! Look, what's the matter with you all? It's perfectly simple: we have the fire drill when I ring the fire bell- That wasn't the fire bell!
Mr. Sharp : Well, how are we supposed to know that wasn't the fire bell?
Basil Fawlty : Because, it doesn't sound like the fire bell.
All guests at once : It did.
Basil Fawlty : It didn't!
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Major Gowen : Fawlty!
Basil Fawlty : Yes, Major?
Major Gowen : There's a Psychiatrist in the Hotel!
Basil Fawlty : I know!
Major Gowen : And apparently, he's dressed up as a Guest!
Basil Fawlty : He is a Guest, he's on Holiday here.
Major Gowen : Oh, well your Guest is as good as mine!
Basil Fawlty : Maybe he has come for you.
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Major Gowen : [Audrey's separated] I think it's very sporting of Mrs Fawlty to go over there and listen to all that rubbish!
Basil Fawlty : Salt of the Earth, couldn't live without her.
Major Gowen : She's a fine woman, Mrs Fawlty.
Basil Fawlty : No, I wouldn't go that far.
Major Gowen : No, nor will I.
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Major Gowen : Did you know that the Female Gibbon Gestates for Fourteen months?
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Major Gowen : I hate Germans! Love women...
Polly : What about German Women?
Major Gowen : Good card players! But I wouldn't give them the time of day.
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Basil Fawlty : Winnie Atwul?
Major Gowen : Well, Marjorie Atwul, then. I just called her Winnie because she looked like Winnie!
Basil Fawlty : She's not Black!
Major Gowen : Black? Churchill wasn't Black, Old Boy!
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Major Gowen : And the funny thing is, she kept referring to the Indian Cricketers as Niggers. "No, no, no!" I said. "Niggers are the West Indians! These Fellows are Wogs!"