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Atlas (2024)
The Day Jennifer Lopez Stood Still
The film combines "I Robot" which it mentions with "The Day the Earth Stood Still" which we find out later. Atlas Shepherd (Jennifer Lopez) is a genius but carries a lot of baggage because of her mother's death (Lana Parrilla) when she was a child. Harlan (Simu Liu) was an AI android created by her mother to protect Atlas (who now has the weight of the world on her shoulders.) He has figured out that humans will end up destroying the Earth so he managed to get other AIs to bypass their programming and attack humans in an attempt to wipe out most of the humans. Harlan escaped to planet GR-39 in the Andromeda galaxy. They can create a wormhole in space so time and distances are not factors. How she can send them a message from the planet surface is a different issue. Atlas is part of the mission to go after Harlan.
It was not great. Less confusing than Cloud Atlas and better than that thing with Jaden Smith. I kept thinking how much more another actress could have brought to this film like Angelina or even Margaret Q. This was not a good role match for Lopez. Needed to edit out about 20 minutes.
Guide: No swearing,sex, or nudity.
Arcadian (2024)
Anyone can burn down a house.
Sometime in the future, a virus kills off most of the human population. It may be related to pollution. There exists a group of mutant mole people with sharp claws and a clacker jaw. We don't get to see them right away. Paul (Nicolas Cage) lives in a farmhouse with his twin sons Thomas (Maxwell Jenkins) and Joseph (Jaeden Martell). The mole creatures burrow underground and only come out at night, feeding off of humans. The group has a nightly lock-up routine to protect themselves. Thomas likes to visit the Rose farm where Charlotte (Sadie Soverall) lives. Their peaceful routine becomes disrupted.
Thomas is the main character and you never get any feeling for them as their characters happen, just like the undisclosed future. Who are the Roses? Why don't they get attacked?
Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.
Bloodline Killer (2024)
Close the Door
The film takes place on Halloween. The Cole family is handing out candy. Dillon Cole (Sal Rendino) eats as much candy as he hands out. He is the father. He is murdered by a man in a "Skulleton" mask, based on a film about a serial killer. Moira (Shawnee Smith) his wife manages to shoot the axe murderer before he can kill her grown son Connor (James Gaudioso) who still lives at home with his grown brother Michael (Drew Moerlein). The killer is named Lee Morris (Adam Shippey). He is discovered shot in the woods by his sister Samantha (Taryn Manning) a nurse who cares for his wound and binds him. He stays that way until next Halloween. We get the back story that Lee is Moria's cousin who knows he is mentally ill. Bruce Dern plays her psychologist which was not his best role.
This film takes place in the early eighties. The story doesn't make much sense and it appears they left off some backstory about the detectives. Not well directed or edited.
Guide: F-word. Near sex, no nudity.
The Long Game (2023)
Butterflies, huh.
Based on a true story that was little drama. A restricted Country Club in Texas does not allow JB Peña (Jay Hernandez) to join. As the local school superintendent, he recognizes five of his caddy shack students can play golf. He enlists the help of Frank Mitchell (Dennis Quaid). The film managed to build the characters of JB and student player Joe Treviño (Julian Works) with no relationship to Lee Trevino who learned to play in Dallas as a caddy. It was dull as compared to MacFarland. Nothing like winning a tournament to have Cheech salute you. The kids were told to speak English to blend in. I suspect that was added to explain why the entire film was in near English. It takes place in 1957 when Eisenhower's Mexican deportation program was in its waiting years.
Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.
Sting (2024)
You erased the eyes
Charlotte (Alyla Browne) lives in a Brooklyn apartment with her mother (Penelope Mitchell) stepdad Ethan (Ryan Corr) and baby brother or half-brother. Her aunt (Robyn Nevin) owns the building and cares for Charlotte's maternal Grandmother Helga (Noni Hazlehurst) who has dementia issues. Charlotte writes stories about a giant spider while Ethan illustrates them. Charlotte is still small enough to crawl through the air vents into other apartments. She finds a spider in Helga's storage room and bonds with it. The film implies that this spider arrived in a meteor. It grows and is hungry.
I liked the creepy Erik (Danny Kim) character. The characters were good, but there was no chemistry. Each was in their own world. John Goodman set a high bar for a spider exterminator that was not met.
Guide" F-word. No sex or nudity.
Sasquatch Sunset (2024)
Tony's Mix 2
The film follows the life of a family of 4 Sasquatches. We watch them struggle through four seasons. They do all the disgusting things that humans do but typically do not appear in films such as nose picking and booger eating. The production felt the need to show us fake genitalia and oversexed males. They communicate between clans by banging sticks or trees. The humor was not funny and mostly badly done slapstick. The first sign of humans was a large tree with a painted red "X" located outside of Willow Tree, California.
There is supposed to be some meaningful message in the film. The only one I saw was careers reaching their bottom. Far from "epic, hilarious, and ultimately poignant."
Guide: No language. Sex and fake Sasquatch nudity.
Everwinter Night (2023)
One to ten
Sugar Bear (Topher Hansson) and Buttercup (Chloe Couture) are traveling in a snowstorm in New Hampshire on their way to a timeshare cabin. Lost, they stop at a lodge where they happen to witness the Ka-Runa rite that summons Alecto. Years later Dizzy (Victoria Mirrer) and Madison Tanks (McKenna Parsons) are going on vacation together. To the dismay of Dizzy, Madison Tanks invites her Kappa friends Fiona (Nicolette Sweeney) and Becca (Alana Phillips). They are boy-crazy and have already met some handsome rich dudes who have invited them to the said lodge. Dizzy takes less interest in the rich pretentious guys, seeing something is amiss. She likes the bartender Jack (Jamie Dufaul) the son of the owner. The other girls pair off with the handsome guy who was there all in hopes of something more.
We knew the Alecto thing was coming. Alecto appears to be a Norse god as opposed to a minor Greek goddess. There are similar theme films that were made on larger budgets. This one demonstrates that decent films can come from small budgets if they have decent acting, characters, and script. Good job Adam Newman.
Guide: F-word. Sex. No nudity.
Tarot (2024)
Most Likely to get Pregnant
A group of college kids rent a mansion to celebrate Elise's birthday in the Catskills. They play a drinking game "most likely" which gives us some minor character peeks. When they run out of beer, they search the house, breaking into the basement. They discover an old set of hand-painted Tarot cards and decide to allow Haley (Harriet Slater) to perform their astrological readings. She breaks the cardinal rule of using someone else's cards. She does the readings and no one dies that night and they all return back to campus and the safety of their dorm rooms. Twenty-five minutes into the film we have our first Tarot death. The second one gets the group thinking as they try to figure a way out.
The people died according to their final card in the draw. Most scenes were dark. I don't scare much anymore. They used the standard effects of lights turning off in a row. Spirits know how to control light bulbs. The film was okay. If I had to choose, "Abigail" is much better.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Wicked Little Letters (2023)
Bring Rose to Light
In the days following WWI, widow Rose Gooding (Jessie Buckley) leaves Ireland and takes up residence in Littlehampton along with her daughter Nancy (Alisha Weir). She lives with Bill (Malachi Kirby). Their martial status is not mentioned. Rose is on the wild side and uses salty language. Edith Swan (Olivia Colman) lives next to her and under the thumb of her father (Timothy Spall). She is very much involved in the Christian Community. Edith has been getting very disgusting letters using foul language. Rose gets arrested for the crime under circumstantial evidence. Police Woman Gladys Moss (Anjana Vasan) has her doubts based on handwriting which is not admissible as evidence. At 55 minutes into the film, the culprit is revealed.
Superb acting. Very light film despite the odd swearing.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)
I must get me one of those coats
Based on a true story. During WWII future James Bond novelist Ian Fleming (Freddie Fox) was leading a top-secret special ops force. In 1942 Great Britain was on the ropes. They needed to disrupt the U-boats in the Atlantic. The operation aimed to go to the tiny African coast island of Fernando Po and blow up a German boat filled with carbon dioxide filters. Fleming selected a "dirty half-dozen" group led by Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) a man with whom he would base James Bond. The group included future screen actress Marjorie Stewart (Eiza González).
I am sure they took some liberty with the facts. The dialogue was refreshingly light. At times it looked like Henry Cavill was auditioning for the role of Captain Obvious.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
The Masks
After watching the trailers I was disappointed by the plot. Noa (Owen Teague) a nude chimpanzee with no genitals is part of a primitive Chimp village who train eagles to get fish for them because Chimps love fish. A human is following him around. A group of Gorillas who also follow the teaching of Caesar burn his village and take prisoners. Noa must travel in the forbidden valley to rescue his clan. Here he teams up with Mae (Freya Allan) a rare talking human to help him. She has a hidden agenda.
The film pays homage to the original film with a doll that says Mama, the name Nova, and the dead human scarecrows on X frames. This made me think this a distant prequel to the original, although a lot did not line up. The characters didn't excite me. The plot could have been better.
Something in the Water (2024)
Don't leave us
PLOT SPOILER (if possible) Kayla (Natalie Mitson) and Meg (Hiftu Quasem) are an item. Walking through the streets at night they encounter a gang of girls who make a disparaging word (the 'D" word) about their sexual orientation. Kayla flips them off and Meg gets beaten to near death. Elizabeth (Lauren Lyle) is getting married on a tropical island somewhere and all her besties come to the island including Kayla and Meg who have parted under ugly terms. Cam (Nicole Rieko Setsuko) playing relationship expert decides it would be best to strand the two on an island and let them work things out. Then it is swimming in the water, shark bites, taking the boat for help, hitting a low reef, boat sinks, and five shark snacks bobbing in the water. Yada Yada Yada.
These shark films all blend together. There is always a back story of the people in the water in an attempt to make them different. Since the shark is the selling point of the film, characterization is secondary and done poorly. There are exceptions. This one was not one.
Guide: F-word. No sex, no nudity.
The Iron Claw (2023)
I want to be a brother
This is inspired by True Events and centers on Kevin Von Erich (Zac Efron) the surviving brother of the professional wrestling family. The film gives us a glimpse of his childhood with his father Fritz (Holt McCallany) as a professional wrestler known as 'The Iron Claw". He raised his sons to work out on the ranch and be in the ring. Kevin wrestles. His younger brother David (Harris Dickinson) would soon follow him into the ring. Kerry (Jeremy Allen White) was on his way to be in the 1980 Olympics which got canceled. Dad talked him into the ring. Their youngest brother Michael (Stanley Simons) is happy not to be in the ring but is pressured by his father. Tragedy strikes the family as it dwindles one by one.
I never heard of these guys before I watched the film. I did know Ric Flair (Aaron Dean Eisenberg). Not being a fan I wasn't really into the bitter-seet tale of the family. The script couldn't hold me.
Guide: F-word. Brief Sex. Male butt nudity.
Founders Day (2023)
That's a Positive ID
The town of Fairworth is going to celebrate their tricentennial. There is a mayor's race. Blair Gladwell (Amy Hargreaves) is running for re-election on the campaign of consistency. She is being challenged by Harold Faulkner (Jayce Bartok) on a campaign of change. Melissa (Olivia Nikkanen) is Harold's daughter and a lesbian. Her girlfriend Allison Chambers (Naomi Grace) is going to move to Raleigh. While they are on a bridge, Melissa is murdered by a man in a mask, and Allison escapes with her life. Later Lilly Gladwell (Emilia McCarthy) the daughter of the Mayor is murdered. The killing continues in a whodunit.
The best minor character was Commissioner Peterson (Catherine Curtin). She provided some colorful comic lines and seemed to imitate other TV investigators. I suspected who was behind the killings, but failed to get the motivation. The motivation was poor.
Guide: F-word. Near sex. No nudity.
Chief of Station (2024)
This necklace belonged to my grandmother
Benjamin Malloy (Aaron Eckhart) is the CIA Chief of Station of the Baltic states. He manages to thwart a Russian hand-off in Budapest in the first scene. He is warned by an FSB operative about his anniversary. He meets up with his wife who is blown up in a restaurant explosion. She was also a Chief of Station but they did not discuss their cases with each other. The CIA is investigating Benjamin. His son Nick (Chris Petrovski) is joining as IT. Benjamin goes rogue with his own investigation making discoveries that lead him down a different path.
I am not sure why they keep making this kind of film. At least in Mission Impossible, you get great action, stars, and a soundtrack. This film had neither. The characters were boring and not developed.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
The Idea of You (2024)
How did you meet?
This is a Gen X story for women hitting their middle age wondering if they still got it. Solene Marchland (Anne Hathaway) owns an art store in Silver Lake. She is divorced from her husband (Reid Scott) who cheated on her with a younger woman. She has a daughter Izzy (Ella Rubin) a sophomore who used to love the boy band August Moon but has since outgrown them. Despite that her dad got her and her besties backstage passes for a meet and greet. Mom gets saddled into taking them causing a chance meeting with the lead singer Hayes Campbell (Nicholas Galitzine). They have a little chemistry which he pursues as the two hurt people open up to each other. Can the relationship handle the scrutiny?
There are better chic-flics out there. This one doesn't stack up as the characters didn't seem real.
Guide: F-word, sex, no nudity.
Blood for Dust (2023)
What's the plan?
Cliff (Scoot McNairy) is a depressed defibrillator salesman working across the Northwest, mostly Montana. The weather is also depressing. He had worked for Meridian selling hard drives and things turned bad. He is having money issues as her tries to provide for his family. He meets an old friend from Meridian named Ricky (Kit Harington) at a strip joint. Ricky is doing well selling what people want. He talks Cliff into joining him running drugs and arms. Having a station wagon with a defib dummy is a great cover. On his first exchange, Ricky shows up and puts bullets into everyone. Cliff fears for his family.
This was a boring film from start to finish. Characters were not developed. Cliff's depression placed a downer on the whole production.
Guide: F-word. Nudity.
Cash Out (2024)
Dirt Box
Mason Goddard (John Travolta) is a high-end thief who works with a crew. In the opening scene, he is stealing an expensive car and discovers his lover Amy Decker (Kristin Davis) is deep cover for the FBI. He manages to get away and retires. His brother Shawn (Lukas Haas-Witness kid) has a plan to rob a safe deposit box at a bank that contains a crypto wallet. Mason goes with him. He doesn't like the situation and attempts to call the whole thing off. Shawn goes through with it. It was a set-up. They end up trapped inside the bank with 23 hostages. The bank is surrounded. No way out.
In the realm of bank robbery stand-off films, this is near the bottom. Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster made a better film.
Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.
Batwoman (2019)
Alice
DC comics differs from Marvel in one major aspect/ Marvel makes colorful heroes and dull villains while DC makes dull heroes and colorful villains. Alice (Rachel Skarsten) was the main reason to watch an otherwise drama-filled series filled with lesbian angst. We must see the break up of Kate Kane (Ruby Rose) and Sophie (Meagan Tandy) a half dozen times. The whole series is a major soap opera depressing downer. Except for Alice, the dialogue is jejune. Alice has been kept in captivity during her youth yet knows all the pop culture references as if she led a normal life. The show also includes quotes from "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It takes a swipe at the Batman TV show by claiming shark repellant is something silly to have on a utility belt. Ruby Rose was a dull Batwoman and was replaced by Javicia Leslie, who also happens to be a lesbian. And later Posison Ivey comes back. Also lesbian. Alfred's daughter (who knew) makes a major appearance as Julia Pennyworth (Christina Wolfe) who is also a lesbian. She would have been my first choice for Batwoman. Alice wants to know why her dad stopped looking for her which was odd since she already knew what her step-mother had done. The plot wasn't tight as it seems the whole reason of the show was to make us feel sad. They killed off the same Batwoman twice in season 2.
Impulse (2023)
Bud Dwyer
Sofia (Dajana Gudic) a newspaper reporter is of Russian parentage is obsessed with Illuminati conspiracy theories. Her co-worker Dave (Lou Ferrigno Jr.) suspects she is leading a double life as an assassin after seeing her with black hair instead of blonde leaving a hotel which was the site of a shadow government murder. Theda, who looks like Sofia is a paid assassin for the group, dressing up in a leather and stockings outfit to lure guys into defenseless positions.
The film runs its course becoming a little confusing at a point, but then clears up. The acting was bad. Dialogue was horrible. It is hard to imagine the whole world being run by a bunch of guys in robes who sacrifice goats and the firstborn. No mention of religion, just something they do because. The film does not have closure. I expect a part 2.
Guide: F-word, sex, nudity, (Uncredited actresses)
Love Lies Bleeding (2024)
I made it Right
Lou (Kristen Stewart) is a raggedy individual who works at Crater Gym owned by her father (Ed Harris) also named Lou. He owns the local gun ranch and it appears he is selling guns illegally to Mexicans. Jackie (Katy O'Brian) is a bodybuilder passing through town. She gets a job as the gun club by sleeping with JJ (Dave Franco), Lou's brother-in-law who uses her sister (Jena Malone) as a punching bag. Lou takes one look at Jackie and they become lovers. Lou injects Jackie with steroids and creates a Frankenstein. When JJ crosses the line one more time, the plot begins.
The plot drags, even during the action scenes. The film seemed designed to show off Katy O'Brian's body. Kristen Stewart plays a person deep in melancholy. The acting was minimal because the script was bad.
Guide: F-word. Sex. Nudity (Kristen Stewart, Katy O'Brian)
Unfrosted (2024)
Trat PoP
This film is written, directed ,and stars Jerry Seinfeld as Bob Cabana who works at Kellogg. He makes himself responsible for slogan and naming products. The company is in a race with Post to create a toaster pastry. It is told as a series of jokes that include food mascots which were actually cartoons. The production brings in a lot of familiar faces, many in minor roles. It spoofs "Oppenheimer," The Right Stuff" and the January sixth riot and occupation of the Capitol. Some of the humor is made up jokes about things that will actually happen. Milk men are made to look like organized crime.
Guide: No sex or nudity. Amy Schumer.drops a quick F-word during the end dance/credits.
Sweet Dreams (2024)
Misery Doesn't care how you look
This is a feel-good movie about the recovery of alcoholics who have screwed up their own lives and everyone that they touch. Morris (Johnny Knoxville) is a video director who ruined his life through drinking. He doesn't remember what happens when he drinks. He is now separated from his daughter. He has entered a program where the director admits it doesn't work. The occupants realize that they are selfish placing themselves above everyone else. This is their first step to recovery. Morris ends up coaching their amateur softball team must win to get the money to save the facility yada yada yada.
The plot was boring. Kate Upton's cameo only shows us how bad she is at acting. They created characters that tried too hard to be characters.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Stranger in the Woods (2024)
Sex in the Forest
A group of friends goes on vacation with Olivia (Holly Kenney) after a failed attempted suicide following the death of her boyfriend Cole. Olivia claims she was attacked and no one believes her. She was discovered by Sam (Brendin Brown) a childhood friend and Theresa (Paris Nicole). The vacation also includes Liam (Devon Stewart) who is Theresa's boyfriends and Brandon (Radek Antczak) her "work husband" who has a crush on her. And her dog Koda who she needs for support. They rent a cabin from San's creepy half-brother Clayton (Teddy Spencer) who carries a side ram. He hunts, traps, and does taxidermy. He is half-witted and has anger management issues. Olivia becomes upset when her dog goes missing. Things are not right with Clayton and it becomes uncomfortable.
The movie was slow and the "twist" wasn't climatic and seemed pointless to the dull film. It could have benefited from engaging dialogue.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
History of Evil (2024)
Take back your power
The film starts as a knock-off of "Civil War." The year is 2045. America is a fascist nation and has taken over Mexico but not Canada. They form the North American Federation. States form militias to hunt down people of the resistance who have not bowed down to what appears to be White Christian Nationalism. People swear oaths on Bible apps. Resistance leader Allegra Diah Rodriguez has escaped the Louisiana prison and is on the run with her family and Trudy (Rhonda Johnson Dents) of the resistance. They hide out at an old abandoned home the locals claim is bad and stay away. We quickly discover the house is haunted by the former residence. Cain (Thomas Francis Murphy) was a Klansman who killed his wife and child because they didn't like his politics. Cain gets inside the head of husband Ron (Paul Wesley) to "take back your power." Their daughter also sees ghosts of the dead family, but it doesn't play any real part in the plot.
The mashing of genres didn't work well. There were things we missed, like what did the cellar look like. The plot went nowhere. Characters are not well developed. Dialogue was poor.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.