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bela_bombastic
Reviews
Sunshine Cleaning (2008)
Meh
The movie is about two sisters who don't understand each other. One (Emily Blunt) is a do-nothing, lie-about and the other (Amy Adams)is a do-a lot, run-around. And by do a lot, I mean she does a lot of adultery. So I'll go through things I liked:
1) I liked that it gave us a glimpse into the life of a maid.
2) It had some okay scenes. I can't think of one in particular. I liked the little kitten Emily Blunt found in one of the scenes. Damn...I'm trying really hard here.
Okay, things I didn't like:
1) What was the point of the whole Mary-Lynn Rajskub thing? Why did Emily Blunt feel the need to follow her around and become her friend? I would've just given her the damn photos and said, Here ya go! See ya, weirdo!
2) Why is Alan Arkin always a loud-mouthed grandpa? I thought he was funny in Little Miss Sunshine but his incarnation this time really was boring. Guess it was the script.
3) The little kid's licking habit. It's like the writer just wrote on little slips of paper strange habits kids could possibly have, put them in a hat, and pulled out the one with "licking" on it. It's stupid. Plus, after the scene where Amy Adams takes him home from public school, I never see him lick again. Why?
4) The trestling scene? Is that what she called it? Oh, the joys of sticking your hand through train tracks just to pull it out right before a train comes! Such exhilaration!
5) The dialogue. Boresville. Clichesville too. The baby shower scene where Amy Adams repeats herself saying something like "We help them.." Yeah, shut up.
All in all, I've seen worse movies, but this one ain't nothing to write home about. It's like they piled all of these expected plot points and characters together to get an Oscar nomination, but it didn't exactly work out. I'm sure I could come up with more stuff I disliked, but it might take a while to write out.
Sense and Sensibility (1995)
The best period piece of all time
This is one of my favorite movies, and I'll tell you why.
Emma Thompson. She wrote a MAGNIFICENT screenplay and was so very good as Elinor. The pain and suffering she endures while always remaining stoic. The scene with Marianne when Marianne finds out that Elinor hadn't told her about Lucy's engagement to Edward breaks my heart every time. I think Emma is possibly the best actress of our time. I loved this breakdown scene, and it was amazingly acted by both Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson.
And though the movie is very serious at times, the humor is absolutely fantastic! Thompson has weaved in the script these incredibly funny moments where the characters show themselves as either flighty or awkward or clever.
Anyway, the movie is amazing in many ways, and I could go on watching it forever. I own it and watch it whenever I want to be inspired. It's that good.
Broken English (2007)
Sweet though sometimes slow
Parker Posey is an amazing actress and was able to carry this movie with some real hard to swallow details. Being lonely, being scared what people think, being scared that you come off as desperate, all of these problems and more are dealt with in a really sweet but thought-provoking way in this movie.
I enjoyed the characters a lot and though the ending was kind of a romance cliché, it was pleasing. Plus, there's really no such thing as a cliché anymore, because everything is a cliché. If she didn't find him, that would be the anti-cliché, which itself has become a cliché. But enough of my rant.
I loved the character of Nora, and I liked how the movie was subtle and truthful about relationships. I think the humor lied in the honesty of being alone and wanting so bad to find that right person, but knowing that there are problems you have to deal with in yourself before its a good time to fall in love.
In summation, it's a good movie about finding love even when you feel extremely anxious and worried about love. Or something like that. I would see it if I was you.
Conventioneers (2005)
pretty good
Here are my thoughts:
1) Though the film's realism depends upon the protests of the Republican National Convention as a backdrop for the romance, I felt towards the end that maybe there was too much footage edited into the final cut. When David confronts Lea in the crowd, you can see several protesters looking at the camera, and it was funny, but it took away from the moment, I think.
2) I think Mabe is an exceptional actor, and it is hard for me to say this, but I actually liked his character, as a Republican, better than I did the Democrat, Lea. I felt that she was much more closed-minded than he was, and I wish Democrats could be portrayed in a better light once in a while. She comes across as flighty and unreliable. Maybe it's an honest portrayal, but I am getting kind of sick of the liberal girl makes the conservative guy think about things angle, if you know what I mean.
3)The ending: I kinda understand why David called Lea's phone and left the message, but I also didn't understand it. I would be angry if I was him too, but I don't think he would have gone that far. Seemed out of character, and the ending shot of the capitol building kinda annoyed me as it kinda compared David's resentment to Republican politics. I dunno. Seemed to end on a clichéd note.
I ultimately liked the film enough to write a bit about it, so I recommend it.
Dangerous Beauty (1998)
Terribly sentimental and uninteresting
Before watching the movie, I decided to watch it based on the title and the subject matter. I thought that this movie would have something to do with sex and lust and perhaps even depravity. I was completely annoyed that this turned out to be a cheesy romantic comedy along the lines of any Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts movie, but perhaps even more annoying because it is so deceptive.
I was hoping for a movie like Quills--a look into the lives of historic figures who were indulging in things that were looked down upon in those strict times. I thought it was boring and bland and ridiculous. The poetry duels were perhaps the lamest parts, because the poetry they came up with was stupid. The courtesan's relationship with Oliver Platt's character was absolutely ridiculous; why does he dislike her and what the hell is the point in showing this anyway?
Oh, and the music! I don't think there was one moment where there was no cheesy music playing to compliment the cheesy dialogue and plot. I really feel cheated and I want the time back that was wasted.
Closer (2004)
Pile of crap, waste of time.
Closer is so sickeningly pretentious and self-aware that I feel pretentious even watching it. Though people claim it was so complex and gritty, the characters were the most shallow, mindless and disgusting little bastards that I've ever seen in any movie. I could deal with terrible relationships, but I can't deal with a bunch of pretty people crying about their problems when they create these problems for themselves. Like I need to waste time trying to believe that any of these jerks care about anything other than themselves or their problems.
The only thing Natalie Portman was good at in this movie was being a retard and getting ran over. Such a romantic scene! That was the best part of the movie for me. I laughed my stupid head off. I couldn't picture her as a stripper and her performance was equal to her annoying "Anny!!!" dialogue in the third Star Wars.
But hell, I shouldn't just gang up on her--they were all terrible, but then again the characters were such pure crap that I doubt anyone could make anything out of them. They have got to be the worst characters of all time portrayed on film and I bet the play sucked too.
As for the soundtrack, I don't care what anyone says--the damn song that kept playing throughout by Damien Rice...the stupid "Can't take my eyes off of you" over and over and over again as Natalie Portman walks around aimlessly. That made me want to slam my head in with a brick.
LolliLove (2004)
Excellent and hilarious!
Knowing that this movie was made with such a tiny budget really is amazing. The idea is just genius: a yuppie couple decide to give out lollipops covered in "designer wrappers" hoping to inspire the homeless to get jobs, stop doing drugs, or even stop blowing up planes (with James' characters Mustafa and Osama bin Awesome). Of course, their idea is met with a lot of skepticism as well as downright anger, but Jenna and James fight through this negativity and get to live out their "dream." And fail. It's not politically correct, and it's not glossy or perfect, but goddamnit, that's the way movies should be! See this movie!
Wolf Creek (2005)
A-men!
I'm going to say that this movie was almost hypnotic in the sense that I became entranced watching it. Perhaps the beginning was a little slow for some people, but I thought that was what made the ending really grab you and electrocute you...I don't really understand why anyone would hate this movie. It might not be as gory as Texas Chainsaw Massacre and it might not have as many plot twists as a movie like Seven, but it has damn fine acting and great direction. I think it is a movie everyone can enjoy, but apparently I'm wrong. I can somehow see why people might think it is unoriginal, because of all of the horror movies about young people on a road trip being helped by a stranger. But a person can't deny that it was done brilliantly, and the "bad guy" in this movie is really terrifying. Please, please, please go see this movie. More horror movies should be like this.
Empire Records (1995)
I'd rather shoot my head off than watch this again.
I first saw this movie when I was in junior high. I hated it. Then I kept hearing in high school by all of the drama and band geeks that it was so great. So, I decided to give it another chance, to see if my tastes had changed or if I had overlooked something. I guess not. I hated this movie the first time, and I hated it the second time. It is so fake and so obnoxious with these characters who are all a bunch of dumb asses. I have no idea what anyone sees in this movie. Liv Tyler was god awful (as usual), playing a virgin who is really a slutty bimbo. Renee Zellwegger is god awful (as usual), playing a real slutty bimbo. All of the other actors are terrible as well. It's like MTV. All fluff and no substance. Blah.
Maybe I'm not "hip" enough to get it, but this movie really sucked.
Haute tension (2003)
This is a movie definitely worth seeing
There are moments in the movie that I don't understand the point of. Like the masturbation sequence and, of course, the end. But besides those moments, I was amazed and gripped by this dazzling horror film. It is terrifying and gritty, and you feel so strongly about the heroine seeking her vengeance on this disgusting killer that all of the flaws don't really matter. I can't recommend this movie more to a person who loves a vengeance story, horrific plot, and gore. One of the best movies I've seen in this genre. The acting is perfect, the action is great, and by god, I was scared out of my mind. I can't believe how good this movie turned out to be.
And yes. Have to fill out ten lines.
Ice Cream Man (1995)
Run Tuna!
Yes, this movie was complete crap. But I'm not sure if it was meant to be crap or not. But I sho did love it. Probably the funniest movie of all time, for these reasons:
1. It has a fat kid named Tuna in it...and he's actually not fat in real life, but they made him wear some sort of fat suit. As if they couldn't find some kid who was actually fat! Brilliant.
2. The Miami Vice police duo. One has the stoic presence you could only see in Don Johnson while the other is always confused. A great rag-tag team, lemme tell ya!
3. The scene where the police team (not Don Johnson and confused guy) go through the ice cream man's ice cream "factory" and break all of the stuff and then leave, not finding any evidence though it would be easy to find at least one eyeball somewhere.
4. Fake sunflowers.
5. The mental institution scene. The police must investigate. So they go to the mental institution where everyone is insanely happy. Of course, the head guy there starts dancing while the police are being attacked by all of the loonies. The best part comes when they're both leaving the place and Don Johnson seems not at all scared or worried but casually pushes or slugs the crazies that are bugging him. The other guy, on the other hand, at least tries to look scared. They sure could have used more extras, by the way. The massive uprising looked pretty weak. But oh, was it funny!
6. The head in the ice cream cone. Talk about genius.
Christina's House (2000)
Hysterically obvious
This movie was very bad. Do not rent it if you want to be scared, because you won't. Unless you're really easy to scare. It is so funny how the movie tries to trick you with all of these obvious suspects, ie: the dad, who likes his little girl a little too much; the boyfriend, who has a bad temper; and the carpenter, who is always just popping up out of nowhere. Christina's always scantily clad when they make her out to be very modest and doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend. As if that's believable! And I love how on the cover the boyfriend is shown as being the main guy when Christina is pushed to the right of him. It is called CHRISTINA'S house, for god's sake! But I thought it was hilarious. It's my sense of humor though. So, if you don't think really lame obvious things are funny, don't listen to a word I say.
I Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)
Good God!
Alright...I usually love crappy movies because I get to make fun of them. This is a crappy movie beyond words. It's bad acting, bad script, bad direction--everything. But that usually doesn't deter me from the movie...I've seen Ice Cream Man, Christina's House, and Cold Creek Manor and have laughed for hours. But this was completely boring and such a waste of time. Everyone keeps mentioning the masturbation scene, and sad to say, that was the most climactic part of the movie. And I had to watch that with my boyfriend's family, who are pretty conservative and religious. And we followed that up with Vampires vs. Zombies! AAAAAAAH! Talk about the most uncomfortable night of my life.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
Godliness
All you have to say is Bruce Campbell is in it, playing Elvis, and there should be no doubt left in anyone's mind about seeing it. Even his crappiest, corniest, stupidest movies are great. Consider Ice Breaker, if you will. Bruce Campbell is a terrorist taking a ski resort hostage...and Sean Astin has to save the day while rushing through the slopes on his skis. It is soooo awful, but because you know Bruce knows it's awful, it's good.
But this movie is not awful. It is great. Sure, it has cheesy special effects and a whacked out story, but that's part of the beauty of it. It's so poignant without oozing with sentimentality. It's really hilarious. Go see it you knuckleheads!
Janghwa, Hongryeon (2003)
Creepy
Well, I'm still a little confused, but for the most part I get it. I loved this movie. It was beautifully shot and the storyline was really thrilling and cool. I was freaked out by the end of it, as I am with most Asian horror flicks. I am so mad that it is being Americanized, when it'll just ruin all of the great things that I loved about it. Why do they have to ruin everything? It's kinda depressing that everything these days is either recycled or stolen from some other source. We either have remakes or re-tellings or taking a TV show and making it into a film. It makes me very sad. Very seldom are there any original horror films too here in the U.S. I hope someone will be able to come up with something original soon; and not a comic horror...an actual truly freaky film. I'm just so mad! Ay carumba!