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Argylle (2024)
Tried to be too smart & subversive
By the time the overly-choreographed scene with colored smoke rolls, the movie has managed some amazing feats already:
- Made me look critically at Catherine O'Hara for the first time ever (she is a national treasure), cringe at Bryan Cranston, dislike Sam Rockwell and completely hate Bryce Dallas Howard.
- Gave me anxiety that every new Henry Cavill movie won't actually have Henry Cavill in it.
- Made me realise that all those Kingsman movies were all kind of the same and one-note, and this is trying to be something similar, and so Mathew Vaughn might have actually been a one-note director all along without any original ideas.
Road House (2024)
Worse than the original, third act falls apart
I expected it to be bad, but for the first half it was not so bad. But then the third act rolls around and instead of something interesting and coherent, we get an exercise in how to inventively film a fight with some CGI (to make it not boring). Connor McGregor is so bad in this, but kind of good at the same time. Completely unhinged.
The biggest changes from the original were the worst flaws of this movie.
The mail villain was not scary. Dalton never brings in his friend who later gets killed. The stakes never feel high.
The ending is anti-climactic. The side characters are flat apart from the one guy with the broken hand on the motorcycle.
It's just boring eventually, and weirdly has a lot of CGI.
The Beekeeper (2024)
John Wick with cartoon world building physics
I liked this movie. It's fun. It tried to go for a twist (a bit predictable), and of course as many have noted, it's very close to John Wick. No it's not a secret society of assassins, it's a government program that goes above the law. But it's a rogue retired super pro who everyone is afraid of. He goes on a revenge spree, and then continues more in the name of justice. And then also because it turns out that the beehive needs a new queen or whatever.
The worldbuilding rules here are worse than John Wick. John Wick's world has style and nuance. It's inspired by eclectic influences.
This is inspired by GI Joe morning cartoons and someone who read a book on bees.
Jason Statham plays Jason Statham. (At least he gets a bit roughed up closer to the end, so he's not completely invincible.)
We're all going to watch the sequel.
Ferrari (2023)
Couldn't manage it
I love Mann's work even when it's not the best (Miami Vice). But this is something else.
Couldn't handle the accents. The strange things and moments the camera would freeze on.
Also, Is this an homage? When that driver flew like a rag doll, with that edit too, it just looked like a movie from before special effects were a thing.
I shouldn't have watched this at the cinema, it's a movie to enjoy at home.
Ends up being very frustrating until every racing scene (which are great, especially the sound design). I think it must have been an indulgence for Mann.
Everyone wants him to make Heat 2, though, asap.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
Didn't expect this. Better than the original!
Wait. How did I just give this 10/10?
I was surprised by how creative, fast-paced, fun and heartfelt this was.
James Wan is amazing. His horror skills and Lovecraftian themes shine through this. The 30's diesel punk ideas are such a good fit here. It embraces the goofiness fully and it works.
I would be happy if they kept this Aquaman, but I know things are changing and this one is performing very poorly.
But if the creators of this movie ever read this review, you did a great job and I had real fun.
I can't wait for what James Wan creates with what he's learned on this movie.
And more Patrick Wilson.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
What is this? Did Snyder forget how to make movies?
This movie puts you to sleep and confuses you from
the first 10 minutes.
It's baffling how incoherent it is. It's like an AI edited it.
How can an exciting sci-fi epic start with some neo-1930's Soviet imagery of farmers, boring dialogue, being told - not shown how good someone is, how scary the enemy is.
It's incredible.
This is not someone who's never made a movie before. Or has Snyder always been like that, and what we've seen was a result of someone stepping in and fixing everything he'd made? I assume that Netflix gave him free reign this time.
I'm serious, what the hell is this mid confusing fever dream?
Leave the World Behind (2023)
Great 2/3rds, disappointing ending
This was great up until the resolution, which wasn't much of a resolution.
I just kept hoping for something to explain it all, the Spanish lady especially which was chilling, but nope, I guess it's some dumb invasion by maybe the Koreans or maybe Iran or maybe all the enemies of the US, and the citizens are supposed to turn on each other in the end, but there is hope because *MESSAGE* we should all love each other and not screw each other over.
So much promise, so much tension, and it all resolves with a FRIENDS theme song telling us to be friends, and be there for each other.
It wasn't a waste of time entirely, great acting from great actors, but the story is a real let down.
Loki: Glorious Purpose (2023)
I'm crying and happy and confused
I'm not sure what is happening behind the scenes at Marvel, because the last few years their creations have been very underwhelming on TV and in cinema.
This comes out at the same time as the garbage Marvels movie comes out, and right after the garbage Secret Invasion. And you have to wonder... Was Kevin Feige only focusing on Loki?
Cause it is perfect.
From the story lines to the acting, to the massive arc of Loki, to the sfx. Everything is brilliant here.
It has the depth of a character study you don't expect maybe from a Marvel franchise but maybe that's because this one is closer to the comic books which are always more nuanced and deeper.
Oh do I wish to stay in this universe for longer.
They made a bridge to the next installment brilliantly. I'm back. I don't care about the Marvels or Quantumania (brilliant save there btw if you haven't noticed). I can't wait to see what's next.
Oh and the acting here reminded me so much of theatre in a few scenes, especially with HWR.
Well done Marvel. I have faith again.
The Creator (2023)
Plot holes and a bit choppy but beautiful and original
Surprised by this movie. It's not perfect in plot and story but it is so beautifully made. The special effects are so impressive. The scenery, the imagery. It's heartfelt. It's a bit odd. It tries to pack in a lot of plot. If it wasn't for the beautiful visuals it would have been worse. The third act is very rushed. It feels like I saw two movies. But the first 2/3rds were worth it.
Overall a solid original movie too big for its ambition. Could have been a great HBO show and they would have let the story breathe a bit.
I hope to see such visuals in more movies. Truly a masterpiece from that perspective.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Some great ideas, and some really dumb and naive ideas
Hard to measure up this movie.
The actors do as good a job as they can, totally not their fault.
On second rewatch, I understand why this universe fell apart. It's just depressing to watch, no hope in it, it's like if Rorschach from The Watchmen was making it (no wonder it's also a Snyder movie, which is narrated in great part by Rorschach).
Some things are just so naive, it's cringe. A list:
- The montage when Bruce makes the weapons & trains
- The footage of Metahumans, especially Aquaman
- When Bruce is screaming after Jack, the guy in the skyscraper who is apparently very important to Bruce
- That cringe Knightmare sequence
- That ugly ass Zod zombie they fight
- Not to mention the Martha moment (biggest smh)
The good parts:
- That warehouse fight! While Bale and Patterson Batmen had good fights, this one is the best Batfight
- Batfleck in general
- Alfred
- Henry Cavill is good too
- Wonder Woman is badass here
I'm just really excited for the new DC Universe that's coming.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Wow
What can I say, this movie starts and doesn't stop. The action pieces are breathtaking. Camerawork is brutal. The story is good and actually scary; it works, and it isn't convoluted either, especially considering the villain. They set the piece, then they execute on it. Sure, Fallout had more actual spy craft, this is more Hobbs & Shaw, but if Hobbs & Shaw was brilliant & inventive.
I can't wait to see the sequel, they made the setup worth it and paid off everything well. I might see some flaws on second watch but this is a great movie, and I'm not even the franchise's biggest fan. It just gets better and better.
Pom Klementieff really surprised me. Need to see more of her. That alleyway fight is a masterpiece.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)
Formulaic, boring, why do we bother?
Another one in the endless string of Transformers movies, an unsolicited gift that just keeps on giving.
Just when we thought we might be in for a fresh take, the movie continues its adherence to the same worn-out formula. Explosions, high-octane chase scenes, and over-the-top action, all of which seem to have lost their charm now. Like a bad case of déjà vu, we've seen it all before, so many times over, that even the phrase 'formulaic' seems like an understatement.
I mean, there were times during the movie when I felt like I was ticking off a checklist, you know? Alien robots: check. Human characters who are there for no apparent reason: check. Global catastrophe narrowly averted: check. It's a trope-fest from start to finish, and frankly, the novelty wore off somewhere around the third or fourth movie.
It's stoic in its unwillingness to break away from its own constraints. No innovative plot, no fresh characters, just more of the same. For a franchise that's all about "robots in disguise," it's a shame that it hasn't managed to disguise its repetitiveness.
So, why do we bother? Good question. Perhaps it's the hope that one day, we'll be treated to something more than a recycled plot with a new coat of CGI paint. But until then, buckle up for the same ride, because it looks like the Transformers train isn't stopping anytime soon.
Crimes of the Future (2022)
So unique, like no other
As a fan of weird fiction, sci-fi and body horror, I'm happy and sad. Happy to have this movie. Happy it's so unashamed of its ideas. Happy such great actors are in it, acting so well.
Sad because look at the box office. We need movies like this, but the math says few and few will get made. Cronenberg is old (his son is promising though). I just wish there were many more original sci-fi movies like this, that explored weird ideas without looking over the shoulder to the audience. Too many play it safe and that makes sense because of market physics, but I wish more and more directors get creative to make their ideas live. Absolutely loved this one.
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)
Trailers = 3. Actual movie = 8
Rare case when the trailer is way worse than the movie. Actually a coherent narrative, good jokes, good creative ideas, even some creepy, scary moments. Of course it's formulaic. But compared to that hot garbage Ant Man Quantumania, or the last Thor, this is levels above.
The parents in this movie... I can't explain it. Great casting.
The third act doesn't fall apart. I'd watch another sequel of this. Doesn't feel tired or throwaway despite the possibility that the universe will be rebooted. I guess there's an Easter Egg there that might mean something for the character's future
Really pleasantly surprised by this movie. Once again, as I was with the first Shazam.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Not good
Really wanted to like this.
Lazy jokes that even Paul Rudd's comedic timing can't remedy. Everyone but Jonathan Majors phoned in their performance. The daughter character is just hard to stomach, some of the cringiest lines and the most wooden, vanilla acting in a while. The "don't be a dick" scene was one of the worst.
Couldn't get the Council of Ricks impression out of my head watching the mid-credits scene. Despite near-constant action, boring. The few good things: some set design and CGI & the pink blob character were fun, looked great. Michael Douglas & Bill Murray phone it in and still manage to steal scenes.
I'm probably going to watch the rest of the phase by inertia, but damn, this is a far cry from anything in Phase 2-3.
Glass Onion (2022)
I'll watch the next one but this one missed the spot
It's just not as good as the first one. Good intrigue in the beginning, but second to third acts fall apart. And it's just dumb, like Benoit Blanc says. Maybe that's the point? Still, it was a bit disappointing. The final was just plain bad. No subtlety. Had to look for an after-credits scene to see: was that it?
Still, I'll probably watch another one of these. They can be entertaining enough for an evening if you're really bored and don't want to read a book. I wouldn't go to the movies for it though, like for the first one.
Benoit Blanc is a good character, happy to see Craig in more comedic roles!
Andor (2022)
Wow.
I honestly didn't expect the show to be so good. I thought it would be at best as good as the Mandalorian, but in fact, it was much better, much deeper.
I mean Cassian Andor, who cares about that guy, right? And yet I cared not only about him, but about pretty much everyone in the show, even the villains.
Stellan Skarsgård was amazing.
A special shout out to the soundtrack. "Forming Up/Unto Stone We Are" made me tear up.
And that prison escape, and the speech by Kino Loy played by the ever underestimated Andy Serkis... Wow.
I'm just sad that this will probably not have a continuation just like Rogue One was not expected to have a sequel. This story line and world building is some of the best, top notch Star Wars stories. Wish there was much more of that in their upcoming slate. One can only hope.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
Surprised, Impressed, Sad
I did not expect to like this movie. I was going into it thinking it would be bland, boring and cringe. But I was wrong.
Namor scenes were so good. When they first introduce him and his people, it's almost like a horror movie. Very effective.
Character motivations come through really clearly. Very strong performances.
Amazing soundtrack. Battle scenes, underwater scenes - all deliver. This is a good movie. The ending shook me and it felt like a complete movie arc without leaving any unanswered questions, plenty of options to go further, spinoffs for Ironheart (who was cool too). All in all, I was ready to give it a 5, but to me it felt better than the original.
Black Adam (2022)
Numb by the numbers AI-generated plot and concept
There is little originality in this. No surprises. A few cringe moments. In other words, a typical Rock vehicle. Super-jarring to see any other parts of the universe stitched in as if they're supposed to fit (they don't). New characters introduced like we're supposed to know and love them already. The same Snyder-esque template (endless slow mo, dirty/dark palette). Dr. Fate copies literally every move from Dr. Strange. Hawkman annoying as hell with his bland brand of "leadership". And the villain, oh the villain...
It's like they used one of the new AI tools to auto-generate everything in this movie. It's as entertaining as masturbation. If that's your thing, cool.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Boring, phoned-in
My expectations were super low but this is really bad. Who wrote the dialogue? There is probably 15% of interesting scenes in this, the rest... Filler. The dinosaurs somehow look worse than in the original Jurassic Park.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
I love Sam Raimi
This is it. Regardless of the plot, the new characters, whatever - the fact that we have all the Sam Raimi things is just amazing.
At times it was overwhelming - felt like too many ideas at once.
And the ending was very meh...
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)
More Jim Carrey
The non-Jim Carrey parts are boring and pretty formulaic. The lore unfolded in templated ways. The snow mountain was cool though. But more Jim Carrey would have been better.
The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 2: The Tribes of Tatooine (2022)
The Mandalorian is a better Boba Fett
Boba Fett used to be one of the coolest characters in the Star Wars universe. Watching an aged man who talks like Jake The Muss is just not the book of Boba Fett I wanted to read. This is Mandalorian Lite, with a cast less stellar, a theme song less memorable, and an iconic character who's not so iconic anymore. Still, this episode was better than the first - although it got spoiled by the absolutely aimless & boring ending - but the train fight was awesome, and the scene of meeting the twins was cool (that wookie bounty hunter was sooo cool). Worth a watch because nothing else is on & it's still Star Wars & Jon Favreau, but definitely a discounted product.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Boring, lame CGI
It's very meh... The CGI is very cringe at times. But it has its audience, I get that. Just didn't care for the characters, the plot, the mystery. Nice to see Trevor Slattery though. And the fight scenes are cool. It definitely has its audience which is cool, but so far it's 0/2 for the new Marvel phase (including Eternals)
The Many Saints of Newark (2021)
Fuggedaboutit
Very mechanical & soulless. Who are all these people? Is this The Sopranos characters from another universe? Seen through the eyes of someone who just saw the TV show's posters?
I don't know how this went so wrong.
Original creators involved, amazing cast, even James's kid to play him young - what a gift!
Squandered.