xylophone59 Reviews

The Judge (2014)

Contrived and oh no!-more Americana (again).

[4/10 · 9 November 2014]

I am a fan of Robert Downey. He has interesting facial expressions and is entertaining. But this movie is contrived. He is back in town just in time for his dad to be tried for murder. The inadvertent incest is gratuitous and seems like an afterthought. It is way too important an issue to be trivialized like that and then dismissed. Downey's character brushes it off as if he had spilled ketchup on his shirt; and then the issue gets flushed. A pity the excreta of his decrepit dad wasn't flushed but instead left on screen for all of us to see. Seems like nowadays things are put in movies just to mystify rather than as legitimate plot devices. Its like the director is so desperate to get your attention he will even leave human waste on the screen just to get you to not fall asleep. I have seen worse but the reflective Americana reminiscent of Five Easy Pieces has now worn thin to the point of constituting a cliché. The fishing with dad scene is hackneyed in the extreme. The Freudian parent-blaming is very America too. That reflective Freudian stuff doesn't really cut it. The viewing of the Mom's body in the funeral parlor should have been touching for me because only the day before I viewed my own Dad's body (who also idolized St Francis of Assisi as the mother in the movie did.) But Downey seemed to brush it off as expediently and cursorily as the accidental encounter with his niece. If the latter was so unimportant why have it in the movie at all? Downey might have been viewing a dead fish at the fish market for all the emotion he displayed to his deceased mother. The tenderness that should have gone to the mother went to himself-OK that was the narcissism of the character- but even a narcissist would show more emotion. The daddy is never home cliché as a reason for the divorce was pretty tired by the way. Maybe the producers (including Susan Downey) ought to live in a third world place for awhile to witness people dealing with real problems. This deep complex Americans-with -issues reflective genre is past its used-by date.

This Is Where I Leave You (2014)

Gross dross and gratuitously scatological.

[1/10 · 8 November 2014]

One thing about movies; if it starts badly it can only get worse. It will not improve. If I had to use one word to characterize it the word would be "dross". It was the opposite of inspiring. I wanted to get out but my wife made me hang in until the bitter and banal end. It was unconvincing. The script was utterly witless. Some in the audience were smirking and giggling; so all I could think was " some people are easily entertained". The lines were largely scatological. Excreta seemed to be a recurring theme. The "romance" scenes were more like bodily functions. The kid on the potty was also a recurring and unwanted theme- kind of disgusting. Is that meant to be funny? No it was just gross; just like seeing the guy performing his bodily function on somebody's wife. I wish he had kept the commandment about not committing adultery. The apposed twists were contrived but simultaneously seemed like afterthoughts. It was Americana at its worst. This trash started poorly but managed to get inexorably worse. With 5 minutes to go I said to my wife there is still time for it to get even worse; you guessed it. It did get worse and worse until I finally managed to escape. The only escapism involved was escaping from the Adelaide cinema. This movie made me proud to be Australian. I said to my wife "I am so glad I am not American". This shambles was a comprehensive embarrassment. Don't waste your precious time.

Pride (I) (2014)

For us straight people

[8/10 · 8 November 2014]

I thought it was pretty good. Some gay reviewers found legitimate fault I suppose but perhaps the general public for whom it was made still need to be taught tolerance. It was great to get out of America for a while and see the Welsh world. I liked the singing of the Welsh people too. It was nice to see tolerance a major theme of a movie. The acting was good and the script did not insult the intelligence. It holds the attention well and was never boring though it seemed a little too long towards the end. Yes not a bad effort and refreshing to get out of Hollywood for a while. The conversion to tolerance on the part of some was not fully explained but over all it was well paced. One could relate to the characters- there was a certain credibility to this film but hard-line gay activists might be able to pick holes in it.

The Eagle (2011)

Swashbuckling but believable

[8/10 · 12 July 2014]

There was nothing much wrong with this movie. It was well filmed and the acting was capable. I found the odd American accent distracting though. I think Tatum Channing and Donald Sutherland might have done well to use a Brit accent, just for the sake of accent conformity. Mark Strong was good as the highlander too. There was good suspense throughout and an ominous mood of impending doom at the right time. Donald Sutherland's nice false teeth should have been less perfect too for the sake of credibility. But it was a well made movie showing Britain as it was- an invaded place full of indigenous Celts. The photography of the Scottish highlands was nicely incorporated into this gripping swashbuckling tale that did not over do it. I liked the authentic looking highland village and the scene of the killing ground. The appearance of the seal people was spooky and ominous and very well rendered. It was swashbuckling yet very believable. There were no holes except fort the anachronism of the false teeth and the incongruous American accents. A good movie worth watching.

Begin Again (II) (2013)

Enjoyable movie

[8/10 · 9 July 2014]

I enjoyed this feel good movie. It was easy to watch and did not drag. Keirah Knightly has a new fan- me. She is kind of adorable. Her smile is really appealing and her delivery of the dialogue was superb as was the subtlety of her evanescent facial expressions. I liked the assertiveness and gentleness of her character too. Mark Ruffalo was excellent too, and the chemistry between the two that was really engaging. Keira is married to a real life rockstar. Her authenticity might have been enhanced by real life experience. I hope that was her singing because it was really good. She has total star quality and although Ruffalo was great too I could not take my eyes of Ms Knightly, not just because of her beauty but because of her acting skills and the clear projection of her voice. This movie is worth seeing and there were no guns, thank goodness. There was no violence either and very little bitterness. All this is very refreshing. Thanks to the people who made this entertaining show.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Thoroughly made and convincing

[8/10 · 9 July 2014]

First time ever I have been alone in a cinema. It was the 3D version. It was playing simultaneously in the same Philippine mall in the non 3D version which had cheaper tickets. I was never into the planet of the apes movies since I saw an early one with Charlton Heston in it I think. This 2014 was a heck of a lot better for a number of reasons. I have no complaints since it was a thorough hardworking film and it was certainly not a rip off. It does give value for money, especially if you buy into the premise. It is quite convincing and has a good sense of drama and depth. What The Weight by the Band was doing on the soundtrack beats me. I love the song and always have. It just seemed incongruous in the context of the movie. Yes the special effects were good and many scenes were interesting if invariably dark hued. But here is the thing for me: I just wasn't that interested in what happened to the characters of either species. That may not be the film's fault but it is how I felt. There were no holes in it that I could see and as I said it managed to be convincing. However I just could not get into it. It started a bit slowly and that's fine, but it never actually grabbed me or compelled me to be enthralled. I am not blaming the movie though, so maybe I just wasn't in the mood. Still do go and see it if you are into post apocalypse set pieces or science fiction. Perhaps through not fault of its own it just wasn't to my taste. A good movie, to be fair to all the hardworking people who did a very thorough job.

In the Blood (I) (2014)

Entertaining. Worth the price of a ticket.

[7/10 · 8 July 2014]

It is worth watching. It is a good interesting movies despite a couple of flaws. As a learner of Spanish I found that part of it interesting. The hospital scenes are very realistic as I know from running around some hospitals in Latin America. The confusion over language, the misunderstandings and even the waiting room with the glass window for the receptionists were all very realistic. Even the seating in the reception area. I won't say it brought back pleasant memories but I can vouch for their authenticity. The trouble in a Latin American disco is a bit worn but it was entertaining. The corrupt cops and the sinister Latinos were a bit clichéd but hey sometimes it happens. Most Latinos are really muy amable. I have had a lot of time in nearby countries and my experience was overwhelmingly friendly. Racial stereotypes make me uncomfortable. I was more scared in the good old USA actually. But as I said it happens of course. But hey directors and producers we got it. Don't go to Latin discos on your honeymoon OK OK. One of the gunfights was gratuitous because there had just been a very interesting twist before that. The gunfight just spoiled it because it was unnecessary. I liked the alley scene in the bad barrio. Although the zip-line outcome was more than improbable it was a good scene and did not spoil the credibility of the movie. Gina Carano was really good and I liked the idea of an Amazon type woman who showed that you can be very sexy as an independent and physically strong female. Refreshing to have the action hero as an attractive woman. I thought a lot of the improbabilities were well explained away at the end. The twists were really good and I liked the performance of Luis Guzman the cop chief. A horrible character but convincingly played by Guzman. We saw a very original escape from handcuffs and twist after interesting twist throughout. The flaws involved the proximity of the ambulance at the right time although I guess it was plausible; probably not explained enough though to be convincing. I mean how could the evil rescuers know where to pick up the victim? I suppose you could believe it… a little contrived. Also the text messages. Spanish to Spanish speaking character texting in English? I assume so the audience could read it and another in Spanish and English, in a Latino to Latino text. Unlikely but possible. But these are minor flaws and could be rationalized if you really felt the need to do it. I enjoyed the movie. It was well acted, in an interesting setting, well filmed and a satisfying film as far as entertainment value goes. You have to look very hard to find flaws and wait a minute, I really just want to be entertained. I saw it in the Philippines when it had just been released.

Zulu (2013)

Unpretentious, interesting and few clichés

[8/10 · 4 July 2014]

I had just seen another SA movie (South Australian) called the Rover. This SA movie (South Africa-based but French) was bound to be better and it was a heck of a lot better in just about every way. It was mostly convincing and hard working with most of the loose ends tied up promptly. So my praise of this movie might be due to the recent dreadful pretentious experience that The Rover was in contrast. For a start it used the environs beautifully. It started with a flashback neck-lacing that Forest saw as a child. Everything was very thoughtful and interesting. Forest's character as a child running segues to him running as a man on a running machine, in a post apartheid South Africa. Unlike The Rover, Zulu was entertaining and imaginatively presented from the start. It had a relaxed suspense and did not pretend to be an art house movie. The video card surprise at the start was intelligent and the setting on a swank golf course was good. The violent kids brawl was interesting. There was a lot of death symbolism around Bloom's character but you have to pay attention to see it. His promiscuity is thought provoking in a country with a huge AIDS epidemic but HIV is largely sidestepped in the movie which is weird given the film presents South Africa quite realistically. Africaans is spoken intermittently with the English and the Zulu language. I liked that as it was a refreshing break from American accents. It took about 30 minutes for the inevitable guns to come into it which was different thank goodness. When they did come in it was not too ridiculous as it nearly always in Hollywood. A lot of the appeal was that it was not Hollywood. There were nice surprises all the way through the first 75% of the movie. Well maybe not always nice but with a refreshing variation of presentation. Unlike the Rover, they were trying to entertain the ticket buyers and not insult our intelligence as the pretentious The Rover did. Where The Rover made no good use of Australia's environment, Zulu utilised the Cape Town setting really well such as the very interesting scene at Muizenberg Beach and the shots of townships. The suspense was kind of relaxed which was in itself refreshing. The inevitable rap that seems to be worldwide came into it South African style but not too much. Has it occurred to anybody that rap music is around 30 years old now and kind of passé? It used to be used in movies to denote edgy modernity but hey its almost menopausal now and starting to bald. Hey film makers how about giving it a rest? Imaginatively presented scenes are abundant in Zulu such as the scene with the laboratory rats. I disagree with the review that said it was clichéd. There were some clichés mostly in the gunfights but generally what struck me was the refreshingly new ways they used to make a point. Another example is the cop giving his bald girlfriend a wig as a gift. That was different. It really was the opposite of clichéd. It was mostly unexpected and decidedly not clichéd. One of the cops got suspended from the investigation for a minor indiscretion but that was one of the few clichés. You see, Zulu and The Rover both made it to Cannes. They could not be more different. Zulu deserved it but The Rover did not. I would recommend Zulu largely on the basis of how refreshing it is. I liked the non American accents (nothing against American ones its just we hear them in so many movies). I like the thoughtful hardworking way the director and writer presented material (opposite of The Rover). Yet unlike The Rover, Zulus was unpretentious. Orlando and Forest were very entertaining. I didn't know anything about Bloom and I see now he is English. But with an unbiased eye I thought he was very convincing. A bit young though to be the father of his son. Biologically possible time-line but not a likely one. Whitaker was pretty good with the South African accent too although I am not an expert. My Doctor is South African Afrikaaner and I really like him so maybe that predisposed me to like the movie. Seriously though this was a very interesting movie that does not insult the intelligence of the audience (as opposed to The Rover that also somehow managed to be shown at Cannes)

The Rover (2014)

Vapid pretentious unconvincing banal and lazy

[1/10 · 3 July 2014]

I watched it in a cinema in the Philippines where there was only one other patron. He walked out. People in the Philippines do not kiss 141 pesos goodbye lightly. He shuffled out half way through and I would have followed except I wanted to write this review. I was also strangely fascinated to see if it could get any more pretentious and if the screenplay could possibly continue to get more and more vacuous. There are no redeeming features in this lazy movie whatsoever. The only reason we knew it was some years after some unspecified apocalyptic event was that the screen told us in the beginning. You could have told the same story without the apocalypse. It tried to mystify the audience but it did not fool me. It was an indolent film. I think the only reason they set it post apocalypse was so that they had an excuse to explain the many loose ends and to get away with conning the audience. It would use sudden brutal shootings to get your attention but these shootings had no real reason for happening. They seemed to be there to imitate Tarantino but I assure you David Michod who wrote this pretentious drivel is no Tarantino. It was just dumb and unconvincing while masquerading as an art house movie. It was a South Australian movie. I was brought up there so I had a stake in liking it. It was filmed in a very unattractive looking part of the outback so you didn't even get the beautiful scenery of Australia's stunning outback (where I now live incidentally). It looked like northern South Australia just south of where it starts to get incredibly beautiful. I don't know what the long freight train was doing in the movie except I guess it saved a lot of cost to film it. If it was post apocalypse the number of carriages in it were far too many. It was going somewhere with an enormous amount of cargo. Some apocalypse. It just did not add up. It was a low budget movie it seemed with low outcomes entertainment wise. Many other things didn't add up just take your pick. Pearce mumbling in a thick Aussie accent- one I have myself actually- did not cut it with me. It was not exotic to me just prosaic. But that would be OK if it meant something or added to the movie. It did not. In fact it is one of the worst screenplays I have ever encountered. Guy would just ask a vapid question; the interlocutor would not answer it and so Guy would repeat it. The person would repeatedly refuse to not answer it and around it went again with Guy trying to look like a macho man. IT WAS PATHETIC WITHOUT THE PATHOS. This happened over and over. I mean some lines were so pathetic I nearly laughed out loud (with derision). Some guy points a rifle at the unarmed Pearce in the middle of nowhere and Pearce says something like if you don't give me my car back I am going to sit in that truck until you do. Guy Pearce mumbles in an incomprehensible (even for me who knows the accent) "strine" slang. Then Robert Pattinson (who did his best with this atrocious screenplay) mumbles back in deep southern USA slang which I understood better than my own accent from Pearce. Robert did try. He would be fine in a half decent movie. The appalling proposition put by the grandma (Gillian Jones) was not only disgusting and despicable but utterly irrelevant to anything preceding or following it. I suppose it was supposed to be edgy and arty. But really it was just repulsively irrelevant. There was nothing to be relevant to. Her prosaic delivery made it even worse. How people can have the nerve to serve up this reprehensible drivel is beyond me. The presence of the Chinese people seemed disconnected to any semblance of a story. The two indigenous outback people (I work with traditional Aboriginal people so I know what I am talking about) was pure cinematic tokenism. Both of them appeared individually in scenes. In the remote bush one rarely sees indigenous people wandering around alone; possible but it did not ring true. The premise of the movie was the protagonist trying to get his stolen car. He kept asking people out in the middle of nowhere where the three men with his car were. How would they know? Honestly folks if you lived there you would understand just how stupid this was. Its a bit hard to explain if you don't know the area. There was no suspense at all in the movie. None at all. This is down there with one of the worst movies I have ever seen and being South Australian I really wanted it to be good.

Chef (2014)

Salubrious and entertaining. Good clean fun.

[8/10 · 2 July 2014]

Good movie-making. I didn't know the lead was the director until after the movie and I thought as I was watching "this guy is really good". Ironic because as the director he could do what Casper the cook could not do at the start and that is to be in control of the show. Jon Favreau could do as he saw fit in a way that his character Casper the cook could not. The result is excellent. The movie flashed by it seemed very quickly as there was nothing difficult about watching it and it never dragged. It held my attention comprehensively; in short it is very entertaining. Emjay Anthony played his son very competently- in fact he would have stolen the show completely had the rest of the cast not been so capable also. Sofia Vergara as Percy's mum and Casper's ex-wife, was also excellent. I couldn't help noticing she is rather good looking- AND charming. But it is the chemistry between Percy and Casper that makes the movie entertaining. The lines are witty and the brilliance of Percy on social media is endearing. Social media is a big part of the movie and being dumb about it myself, it was great to have Twitter finally clearly explained to me. Looks scary to me. The advice of the 2 workmates who realize before Casper the implications of being twitter-famous and that it has benefits as well as pitfalls, was very amusing. I am like Casper- I don't have a clue. I am a big fan of Robert Downey and Scarlett Johannson but to the movie's credit it took me ages to recognize them. In fact I did not recognize Robert at all till after the movie- sign of a good actor. Dustin Hoffman was understated and convincing as usual. The photography was great especially Miami, and the Americana shots were not clichéd as is typical in many movies. A really charming, salubrious and humanity-driven film. I strongly recommend it. Excellent. Great music as well.

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart (2013)

Animation within an animation

[5/10 · 2 July 2014]

The porcelain characters were convincing; so much so they were able to bring the more cartoon- like Tinkerbell type character in over the top. I thought wait a minute that is animation within an animation. There were a lot of good elements. I liked the carnival scenes. It needed more suspense though. It dragged slightly towards the end I felt. It seemed too young for adults to watch and too old for children; and probably a tad insipid for teenagers.I wasn't sure whom it was aimed at. Some kids would lose interest and some adults would too for different reasons. It was a sincere movie and the animation was different and interesting. But somehow the story was a bit unconvincing even if you suspended your disbelief to enjoy the movie. I mean I bought into the movie to enjoy it but it did not grab me enough with any compelling elements or drag me along enough. It had a lot of good original components and ideas. but it needed more suspense and it did not create enough concern for the characters. But to be fair I kept thinking,"get that key back'. It seemed to sacrifice the overall plot in preference to style. Indeed it was very stylish animation. I don't think it will be a cult film in America because the English accents might be a bit foreign sounding for United States audiences to engage with. Its good but something indefinable seemed to be lacking. Yet it could have just been my own obtuseness. There were many things I liked about it but the story itself did not really take hold of me.

The Raid: Redemption (2011)

It doesn't matter coz you're gonna die soon anyway.

[9/10 · 30 June 2014]

I saw the 2014 Raid first so I knew what to expect. It is brutal, ruthless and terrifying. Because I knew what to expect it was more terrifying. It reminded me of the start of Saving Private Ryan in the apprehension it evokes. It is exceptionally well acted and the suspense is unbearable. I challenge any one to watch it all the way through without once having to turn away. I like the lead actor very much. Uko Uwais is a fine actor and athlete. Mad Dog is very charismatic and also played very well by Yayan Ruhian. These Indonesian actors are great at what they do and amazingly physically fit. The screenplay is very tight and the cinematography is often breathtaking despite the appalling violence. Gareth Evans is a very fine movie maker. Some of the techniques used simply demand your respect. The pulsing sound indicating impending evil is far more effective than scary music too. The way Evans keeps you in suspense through such horrific scenes is awe-inspiring. Martial arts and the fetishistic violence is definitely not my thing but good cinematography is my thing and I would like to see Gareth make some other kind of movies. The suspense is riveting. The look of fear on the hero's face puts tingles up the spine. You flinch at every blow and the sinister ambiance is brilliantly evoked with such lines as "I'll go call the neighbours. You have visitors. You know what to do" (spoken by the boss villain). The timing is superb. Hollywood despite its frequent gratuitous violence tends to sanitise things; much in the same way as Americans say they are going to the bathroom when they mean they are going to perform a bodily function. Bathroom? Really? We non Americans have a shower in the bathroom. That sanitising tendency extends to movies where the shot people lie conveniently and un-confrontingly dead or more typically miraculously absent from the scene. In these Raid movies they moan and scream and wriggle around on the floor afterwards. It lends an air of realism, even in these fantastical scenes of epic violence. For example when a dead body is dragged into the lift it leaves a trail of non-blood moisture on the floor. Touches like this although nauseating are at least honest in their unflinching gruesomeness. There is also a lot of black humour in lines like "You don't shoot cops. You pay them." This is an excellent movie. Although I could hardly wait for it to end I could not tear my eyes away. Its brilliant but appalling. NB my spelling is accurate but using the English and Australian system.

In Your Eyes (2014)

There are dangers in watching this movie

[6/10 · 29 June 2014]

Zoe Kazan acted well. Both leads did. it would be easy to put this movie down but I don't like canning the creative efforts of film makers. There were a lot of good elements to In Your Eyes. But I feel it is a bit over rated. I liked the photography. Americana was depicted well with some nice songs in the music. The payroll officer was good and depicted well. There were a lot of amusing moments and the complication with his old buddies was clever. But the movie reeked too much of idea; though I guess we need "idea" style movies and it is unavoidable. One problem I saw in it was the dabbling in psychiatry that was in it. There were subliminal ideas in it like, mental illness is not quite real and it must be the system that has it wrong. There is also a dangerous notion in there that it is justified not to take the medication some times. In the movie the illusion is real; but I think its a bad idea to dabble in the notion that the voices were real people- a notion that is the crux of the movie. Real people do hear voices and I am supposing that the voices are not real in probably 99 if not 100% of cases. This fantasy made for money made me uncomfortable in that it presents voices in the head as real and that the problem is the field of psychiatry not understanding the real situation. Therefore avoiding the meds may be justifiable. I dunno- it just seems dangerous to me. Its a common myth that the patient has insights that the psychiatrist does not understand. The special insight myth is not true. Visit a psychiatric institution just to understand this. Mental illness is really real. For this reason this seemingly innocuous movie is I think somewhat dangerous. Also the lovemaking scene between the two long distance protagonists is excruciatingly corny. Otherwise it was entertaining enough with quite a lot of amusing scenes.

Rage (2014)

Guns again

[5/10 · 28 June 2014]

It wasn't totally terrible and Nicholas Cage always puts in a good performance. The impunity with which people roam around killing people stretches the credulity, especially when the chief of police lets people walk when he knows they have killed human beings. That is becoming a cliché; often the police chief is an African American and the friend he gives impunity to is a semi friend white tough guy who has a heart of gold. Yeah sure. I disapprove for what its worth of such devices being copied. Hollywood writers and directors are such copy cats. I am so bored by these gun conflict movies where one never sees the dead bodies lying around later or the wounded dying crawling inconveniently around gasping for breath. This movie reeks of genre but it does have tension and suspense. If you wonder why America has trouble with gun violence have a look at what is modelled as normal behaviour is some of these movies. I ticked the spoiler box. Here comes the spoiler. There are couple of twists at the end. Worth watching because of Cage but the credulity is stretched too far. I have noticed in American movies that when they want to convey something sinister out come the foreign accents. Strange in a country built on immigration. The big bad sinister Russian brogue is the accent of choice in this rather clichéd movie.

A New York Heartbeat (2013)

If a fellah does some listening he learns things

[7/10 · 27 June 2014]

This is a good movie. I would rather have a movie with loads of suspense and few special effects like this movie; than a movie with great special effects and no suspense. This movie shows that a low budget can be to the benefit of a film. These gun laden movies tend to be formulaic in many respects but there is enough here to keep you watching with empathy for the characters until the end. There are a lot of good elements in "A New York Heartbeat". I like the credible evocation of the era although I am sure you could find flaws if you looked hard. I liked the slangy throwaway quips of the era e.g. "snazzy" and "foxy chicks" ("wait around a dark corner and drill him") and the way the slang was delivered. I liked the line "if a fellah does some listening he learns things". So it was a very good screenplay in my humble opinion. I liked the muted evocative trumpet; made me feel kind of blue and was not overdone. I liked the little things like when the birds flew past as Spider and Tamara were talking. It was flock of them which was a common urban sight in past decades. And at certain points, a few birds would fly past to maintain the special ambiance of the film. The movie started well and hooked you in with immediate suspense with the guys swigging from a brown-paper covered bottle of booze. That was common as I remember in the 60's (I am quite old). Young folks of nowadays would not know about such small things as booze bottles covered with brown paper (maybe). But it lent credibility for me who does remember a less sophisticated texting-free era. This movie is convincing and relies on good acting and plot tension. But for a few holes that I thought I perceived in the plot I would have given it an 8. Probably 7 & 1/2 would be my real assessment. This is a very entertaining movie but possibly a few too many gun-solutions for my personal taste. The great thing was the unrelenting suspense and the affection you feel for the characters. The acting is good because you don't notice that it is good. And isn't that what we should aim for?

Cloud Atlas (2012)

An exercise in futility

[1/10 · 27 June 2014]

I wanted to like it. I had heard nothing prior to watching it so I had no preconceptions. I stopped watching after 60 minutes then looked up the reviews. Some say its fantastic- others quite the opposite. I sadly am with the negative side. Sorry. I admit it may be my fault for being too dense. Quickly this is what I thought

• Too much mumbling. It washard enough to follow without trying to decipher the slurred mumbling. The mumbling was from Hanks on different islands and all sorts of different characters from all over the world at different random epochs with no attempt to connect them with a cogent plot -The plot was allover the place and all over the epochs. Ridiculous in the extreme. -Instead of everything being connected as is claimed by the promos, everything seemed badly disconnected. -It looked like they had a lot more fun making it than I had watching it -The futuristic Korean bits looked anything but slick. The torch the girls had would look prosaic for present day Korea let alone in the proffered future

-Pretentious without any real substance -No plot tension. I was not hooked in in the first place so how could they hold my interest after that? They kept inexplicably switching to not only different locations but also without explanation to different era for no reason at all that I could follow though I tried. As you can see my attempt to describe it is all over place too. I usually don't write this badly; their fault for serving up this mess.

-Because there is a lot of overlapping obfuscation it does not make it profound. I thought it was a lazy movie with a big budget -Again and importantly- no suspense at all. You have to have some kind of suspense in a movie to give it credibility.

-When the plot, location and time of a movie is so unclear at least make sure the actors are not mumbling

-Polynesian style tattoos on people talking in slurred trailer trash style accents from a completely disconnected era does not make it deep or profound. It just makes it look like a self- indulgent sprawling pretentious mess. One character in a rare moment when I could make out what was said, remarks with great serendipity something about "an exercise in futility". I thought that was ironic and aptly summed up how I felt trying to make sense of this unentertaining chaos. It's so bad that you could not write a spoiler even if you wanted to.

Joe (I) (2013)

What keeps me alive is restraint

[9/10 · 25 June 2014]

When Joe says "what keeps me alive is restraint" I was deeply impressed. I thought this was the core of the movie. There were almost too many good elements to cite them all. Tye Sheridan did a great job as Gary Jones and matched it with the superlative Nicholas Cage. The acting from the start was great. The character of the youth's father had a real ring of authenticity about it. In fact authenticity was the hallmark of this very fine movie. It was a very profound work of art. Great art in fact. The many unexpected events were all credible and beautifully presented with excellent plot tension, timing and wonderful photography. The dogs fighting in the brothel was a great scene- original and interesting. When Joe starts coughing in the romantic scene there was a a credible feeling of authenticity again. When the father and son walk off the bridge and both turn around to look back, it was a fantastic piece of cinema… all very well acted. When Joe meets Gary as Gary approaches, Joe is holding a snake that had slithered into the work site. This was done superbly without overdoing it. The African American actors on the work team acted brilliantly, again with wonderful authenticity. In a lot of scenes people were talking at the same time. I loved that as it is so real. Also Gary questioning things like what was the type of poison used on the trees had strong credibility and was so typical of youth. There were so many deft little touches like that. Usually they were unexpected and always adding to the overall picture. In my opinion good movies make you care about the characters; and "Joe" did that very well indeed. I highly recommend this excellent movie. Nicholas Cage as usual was sublime. You totally believe in his characters. Unlike Morgan Freeman and say Tom Cruise, with Nicholas you totally forget who the actor is. He was awesome. I predict a long and illustrious acting career for Tye Sheridan. Watch out for him. He can really act… very impressive performance there from Tye.

Reasonable Doubt (2014)

A poor movie that promised a lot at the start

[2/10 · 24 June 2014]

It started well and I was wondering why it got bad reviews. The acting was very good I thought except for Samuel Jackson (unbelievable as that is). But towards the end it became obvious why the film was not highly rated. I think a criminologist would confirm that this type of criminal does not act with the proffered motivation in this screenplay. It just didn't add up at the end… I believe the screenplay lacked criminological credibility. It stretched the limits of my credulity and I really wanted to give this movie a chance. Its pretty bad actually though it did start very well. Even the bandages on one of the characters lacked credibility because time had passed and he still had butterfly bandages used in superficial recent injuries. I thought that not enough criminological study went into the movie. It wasn't convincing. I could explain why but I don't want to write spoilers.

Transcendence (I) (2014)

Laborious and soporific...unconvincing

[4/10 · 24 June 2014]

In order to hold your attention you have to get the viewer's attention in the first place. I had to work at paying attention. I kept watching because Rebecca Hall is worth watching. She did her best but the perpetuation of the deceased's consciousness was hardly convincing. The sentient machine idea is as old as the hills. Well since Kubrick's sixties film, 2001 anyway. I was hoping for better because I heard it wasn't full of sci-fi gimmicks. The legal implications of the first operation were not explored and I didn't buy it. I didn't buy the multi-city simultaneous shootings either. Not convinced. Morgan Freeman seemed to be doing his Morgan playing Morgan reliable old man role thing. By this time I was nearly stupefied and even Rebecca was failing to wake me up. I felt like the character Johnny played. Making a sci-fi movie without the gimmicks is a good idea; but just because you remove all that does not mean you are making an intellectual movie. You still need to hold the attention of the audience, keep it in suspense and be convincing. The ponderous slow moving scenes in semi-darkness did not help either. The idea of neo-Luddite extremists is a good one but Morgan looked as genuinely worried as he usually does; that is surpassingly complacent as usual. He is an entertainer rather than actor in my opinion. I was relieved when Rebecca got outside for awhile in the rundown ghost town. I thought the women in the movie acted well; the men less well; especially the big names. The HAL style computer even though female had the same voice tone as the one in 2001. I wish Kubrick had made this. He was slow moving but you couldn't take your eyes off the screen. This film needed him or at least his cinematic sense of tension. I kept watching to appreciate Rebecca Hall and her acting rather than the story. Unconvincing. But Rebecca is obviously a fine actress.

22 Jump Street (2014)

Trash with some good elements

[3/10 · 24 June 2014]

Adolescent and puerile. Nothing wrong with that if you are a puerile adolescent. I am not. I am older. But surely a good comedy should appeal to all age groups. This one is dependent on the audience being puerile. Jonah Hill is a very good actor. He should find grown up parts in grown up movies. There were good elements though like the throw away lines of the girl engaged in a gun fight and the young adult-speak in humorous situations. But really? This seemed to entertain those around me in the audience more than I thought was warranted; so there you go it must be me not everybody else. I notice it got a lot of rave reviews on this site so don't let my menopausal negativity get to you. Take no notice of me because you might like it. I am probably wrong and the other reviewers who thought it was good perhaps were right. If you are over 40 don't bother. If you are over 50 definitely don't bother. If you are still older just accept that it is a young person's world and read some Shakespeare. Still I think Jonah Hill is an excellent actor. I would go to see him in anything.

Flight 7500 (2014)

Entertaining enough

[6/10 · 20 June 2014]

There were some good elements that were original. Some things were inexplicable but were well resolved at the end. The characters were well developed for an inside-plane movie and there was an ineffable sense of mystery. The characters in fact needed to be interesting and they were. I thought the trip should have started in Japan to provide a contrast and some extra interest at he beginning. The trip would have been better departing Tokyo and proceeding to the States. Actually it would have been good to see a few more Japanese characters in it since it could have helped make it an extraordinary movie rather than just a competent movie. I am being careful not to write spoilers. I will mention that a couple of the devices had been used before and one or two of them had been used a couple of times too often before. Overall though I have a clear conscience in telling you that you are not wasting your money; but its not an extraordinary movie despite some very good elements and it is adequately entertaining.

Maleficent (2014)

Was happy to see it twice in a week at the cinema.

[7/10 · 20 June 2014]

I saw it twice because here in the Philippines I can afford it and because my wife missed it the first time. Angelina of course was excellent. I liked the acting of the fairies who were looking after the cursed princess. By coincidence I was reading Shakespeare's Midsummers Nights Dream the same week and there were parallels. I guess one would never say the dialogue was as good but that would be unfair. I enjoyed the non-American accents. Angelina's English accent was good. As a non American I can tell you that a lot of American actors are not good at disguising their natural accents. I was impressed she could do it at all (like Meryl Streep even gets the difference between an Australian accent and a New Zealand accent); Angelina is not quite as good as Meryl but I thought she did well. I liked it when she called stuff out in an imperious voice; the girl can act. She is very charismatic as we all know and I wonder why she ever wasted her talents on drivel like Mr and Mrs Smith. She was the standout in the movie as you would expect. The special effects were very good. Perhaps they reverted a little too often to the shots of the cottage and the castle. I thought the children actors at the start did very well indeed. I would have liked more of the brighter scenes to overcome the overwhelming impressions of darkness. The second time I saw it, it seemed a lot shorter. The pathos was good in the relationship between the two major female characters. The wings on Maleficent the child at the start were very impressive and I enjoyed the dreamlike special effects as they were somehow believable. Not a movie where you exit going "wow" but you do come out well entertained and feeling you got good value for your money. I was happy to see it twice.

The Raid 2 (2014)

Not a genre I go for but this was excellent

[9/10 · 19 June 2014]

The voice dubbing was good. After the first minute you don't notice it. Like everything else about the movie it was competent. Normally I wouldn't go and see a movie like this but I am in the Philippines and my wife and I had time on our hands and the tickets were 141 pesos (why the extra one (its 2 cents) when it causes a hassle every time?) Not complaining though because its great value. So we went to see it. Well folks The Raid 2 turns out to be an excellent movie. In Hollywood movies there is usually what I call the gun solution. Everything is resolved with a gun. Either he should have had a gun; he should have been better prepared by having drawn the gun earlier; or she was vulnerable because she did not have gun; or if only he had a gun he could have defended himself; or why didn't he have a gun? Or the other person had a bigger gun, a faster gun, a prettier gun. And so on. Has it occurred to any body in America (pro-gun or anti- gun) that this is incredibly predictable, repetitive and tedious? I am saying this to contrast the absurd plethora of guns in USA movies with this Indonesian movie. Sure there are guns and too much shooting as in most movies but it wasn't the solution to every last problem. It was obviously fantastical but the conflicts were martial arts centred instead of based around the much lazier gun conflicts. To act in this movie you had to be an athlete. Most of our western Hollywood stars don't have to be this fit. Although I hate weapons and violence and despite the surreal fantastical nature of the fights, I found them gripping. I could not take my eyes off the fights whereas usually martial arts bores the hell out of me. These were done so well I was galvanised. Partly this was due to the very professional sense of tension in the screenplay. Someone in Indonesia knows how to get your attention and how to keep it. The main character was very charismatic and likable and all the characters were very convincing. The twists were real twists and quite unexpected. There are elements of Tarantino in this movie and I had to turn away from a couple of scenes. The sociopaths are convincing and the writer obviously knows his/her stuff about sociopathy. The prison scenes were refreshingly third world instead of the usual American jails of course. I would never have thought I would go to see a martial arts movie, let alone say it was excellent. But I did go to see it. I was gripped by it. I was never bored. I admired the acting and the screenplay and now I am assessing it as superlative. Life sometimes gives you what you least expect

Third Person (2013)

Pretentious, contrived and cliché ridden

[2/10 · 19 June 2014]

This movie is contrived without even succeeding in doing that convincingly. It exudes clichés. When a character is an author or a successful painter immediately I smell clichés. To have them as major characters is hackneyed in the extreme. The movie is full of holes and pretends to be mysterious where it is merely indulging in pretentious obfuscation. When the obnoxious American whines about people not speaking English in Italy it rings true to an extent but as a scene in a movie, it comes over a clumsy and somewhat gauche. When the Roma woman says "Do you think I am too stupid to speak English?" I cringed because it seems the script writer subconsciously at least, connected not being good at English with being stupid. Evidently it was all right for the American not to be able to speak Italian. I hate that attitude and even though it happens in life, it put me in a bad frame of mind about the screenplay. That put me in a bad mood all right and I found the American's character less than charming. When this Scott (I think) whined that the bar was called the Americano so therefore they should speak English, I immediately thought that the staff of Italian restaurants all over the world don't automatically speak Italian.. shudder. In fact none of the characters except for the Roma were in the least likable. Its hard to like a movie when you find the characters charmless. Liam Neeson also exuded a comprehensive charmless-ness. The Italian scenes were riddled with clichés right down to the predictable little Fiats that I knew would be coming. The parallel stories had no interweaving whatsoever and one wonders why you would pick some unconnected boring stories at random and present them for no apparent reason. I am visiting Rome at Christmas and this movie nearly put me off going. There was no romance extracted from Paris either. It was straight out boring. Just putting Rome and Paris in a movie does not automatically give it an air of romance. I didn't see any beautiful photography either. It looked very mundane. How you can make Paris and Rome look so prosaic in a film is utterly beyond me. Other cringe-worthy elements included the scene where Neeson tricks the woman into disrobing and then locks her out of the room without a key. It was excruciating and had all the panache of an adolescent prank. Not the character's prank but the screenwriter's prank and the director's prank. The stories were unrelated and had gaps so wide you could sail the Titanic through them. I was only fascinated by wondering how much worse the film was going to get and the mechanics of its inexorable deterioration; though actually it started badly in the first place. I wonder throughout the film how exactly the next scene would be worse. That was the only reason I did not walk out. There was nothing artistic about Third Person; it was masquerading as an arty film but it only succeeded in being gauche and pretentious. It was produced by a company called Highway 61 and there was an obvious reference to Bob Dylan's Tangled up in Blue when the lady bends to tie the laces of Neeson's shoe. But it lacked the poignancy of the Dylan song; it just came over as obvious and clumsy like everything about this gauche and pretentious movie.

Noah (2014)

Gruelling

[3/10 · 16 June 2014]

Too many dark brooding scenes. There was little relief. An unconvincing Bible story was not made more convincing by the video game style giants. The ark looked too small. Too much agonizing over the procreation later. It didn't work for me in fact it bored the hell out of me. I can't stand Russel Crowe- he always looks constipated; but to be truthful he did act well in this- a difficult part. The original allegory is unconvincing and so was this attempt at something great that looked like over reaching cinematically. I want to be entertained or challenged intellectually. For me it did neither. With all the tidal waves the inside of the wooden ship looked pretty dry. I don't know. For me it didn't work. The best thing is there were no guns and ridiculous gun fights that wreck most movies these days. Still this welcome relief did not save the movie.