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Reviews
EuroTrip (2004)
National Lampoon Already Did It
Eurotrip is the latest installment in what has been a very bleak and dismal 2004 movie season- the drought continues. Basically the producers of this film took the outrageous journeys of the National Lampoon series and combined it with the sex comedies of the American Pie series and got this bit of Euro-trash. Being so filled to the brim with over the top crudeness, the filmmakers forgot to add substance to the mix; leaving a very bland, malodorous picture. Most of the actors in this are fairly new to the scene, so I suppose some forgiveness is in order. Scott Mechlowicz stars as Scott Thomas, the guy who gets dumped and then make this trip to meet a girl as a rebound. His buddy and dopey sidekick is Cooper Harris, played by Jacob Pitts, whose only other film of note to date is 'K-19: The Widowmaker'. The only relatively know person in the leads is Michelle Trachtenberg, who is most widely know for her role as Dawn in the 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer' TV series; she plays Jenny- de-facto friend to Scott and Cooper. Travis Wester plays the nerdy Jamie (referred to as, 'Guidebook' for his permanent attachment to said European guidebook) who is also the twin brother to Jenny. After Scott gets dumped on graduation day, he and his friend Cooper decide to join the twins Jenny and Jamie for a European trip that will eventually take him to Berlin, Germany to meet his pretty pen-pal who he has just suddenly decided he's in love with and can't live without. The foursome travels the continent, causing a wake of chaos in their path and sees more naked bodies than most do in 5 lifetimes. The only mildly amusing part is when Scott and Cooper hit England; they wander into a private pub, reserved only for the notorious soccer hooligans of Manchester United- led by the irrepressible Vinnie Jones (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Mean Machine, Snatch). Mad Maynard (Jones) and his violent, red-clad mates provide a fun, but brief, onslaught of British soccer lunacy. Much of the film has no point and seems just to be filler to get to an only slightly amusing sex gag. American Pie had some wit; this lacks any kind of intelligence and imagination. Even for a film so over the top as this one, many parts are way too stupid and ludicrous to be swallowed. Example: trading in $1.83 to receive a mountain of wealth due to a lopsided eastern European exchange rate. If you've seen the trailer, you've pretty much seen the movie. I'll give it a 4/10, but be it known that 2 of those points personally belong to Vinnie Jones.
Catch That Kid (2004)
a dumbed down Spy Kids
Catch That Kid: a Dumbed Down Spy Kids Yeah, this is a kid's show; so how seriously should I take it? I suppose I should relax a little on my critique-ness but I still had to sit through the thing. I figure the studios have finally realized that kids will watch anything no matter how bad it is- Lilo & Stitch proved that. So rather than spend a lot of money on original scripts and good talent, they release things like this. After watching the preview for 5 seconds the first thing that comes to mind is, 'gee, Spy Kids rip-off maybe?'. As you leave the theatre after this film the first thing that comes to mind is, 'even Spy Kids 3-D wasn't that bad'. But here it is nonetheless; and will do pretty well at the box office like all kids movies do, no matter what quality they are. The movie has a mix of Spy Kids like action, with Power Rangers type characters. Here is the plot: Maddy, played by Kristen Stewart (Panic Room, Cold Creek Manor) is a young girl who has a joy of climbing things. Her father is an ex-climber who made it up Mt. Everest but sustained a near death accident as he fell over 100 feet on his decent. Maddy has two friends, Austin- the computer expert, and Gus- the racer/mechanic expert. One day Maddy's father collapses under some trauma sustained from his climbing injury. Faced with probable paralysis with the only cure being an alternative surgery performed only in Europe to the chime of $250,000, Maddy begins to plot. Her mother works as a security expert who is installing high-tech security system at a large bank. So Maddy and her two friends get the brilliant idea to rob the bank her mom works at and thus save her dad. What then follows is a very weak set up with farcical characters that seemed grossly out of place. Whereas the kids are in a semi serious mode, several of the supporting characters seem like something out of a Laurel & Hardy sketch. The over the top antics of a megalomaniac banker and the Mutt and Jeff stupidity of a pair of security guards take the film in a different and unpleasant direction. Too many of the films weak plot points seemed extremely random and served no apparent purpose. In order to infiltrate the office building the kids need to get through a formal office party taking place on the first floor. Maddy declares they need 'to blend in'. The next shot is a slow motion pan up, a la The Right Stuff, of the three twelve-year olds in formal wear. Like that's going to blend in with the party of 30-60 year old. Much of the movie is in that vein; the suspension of disbelief is suspended too long and finally just snaps and falls. If you have some kids you need to keep quiet for an hour and half that's fine. But if you expect any real entertainment value out of this, save your time and money. 4/10
You Got Served (2004)
'You Got Served' a Load of Rubbish!
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner! After staggering out of Torque last week, I was left wondering if things could get any worse. They just did! 'You Got Served' is absolutely horrid- it barely resembles a movie. Movies tell a story; this was more like script Mad-Libs.
If you haven't seen the trailers for this, count yourselves fortunate. The story is supposed to be about two friends, Elgin and David, who are in a competitive dance 'crew' who strut their stuff at a nightclub for cash prizes. After many disjointed plot points utilizing lust at first sight relationships, a cliché drug dealer, and the token 'drive-by', they enter a dance competition for $10,000 and a part in Lil Kim's new music video.
Writer/ Director Chris Stokes (director of that all time classic 'House Party 4') should be hanging his head in shame. In the place of actors he cast many members of the hip-hop group B2K; Omarion (as David), Raz B, J Boog, and Lil' Fizz (my spell-check is having a fit). Ironically, a movie where one might say the theme is about sticking with your friends, the group has already broken up before the film has even been released.
The dialogue and the way it was delivered was so bad that at times I was honestly wondering if this was supposed to be a farce and if it's supposed to be this bad. I can only guess that people might enjoy this for the dancing. There were, however, enough pelvic thrusts and crotch grabs in the first five minutes to make even Michael Jackson blush.
The dance scenes as well as a few basketball scenes stand out as being very poorly shot. With numerous jump cuts (where a camera cuts and the action from the next frame doesn't match up with the previous one) and many other cinematography errors one learns in Filmmaking 101, it's as hard to watch as it is to listen to. Every film has fans somewhere, so I suppose this one will as well. I can't help but feel slightly dumber after wasting my time on this one. I got served stupidity. The only thing that is keeping this from getting the lowest 1/10 award is that it did make me laugh- at how pathetic it was. I figure a 1/10 should make me cry at how pathetic it is. A dismal 2/10 for 'You Got Served'.
My Baby's Daddy (2004)
My Baby's Daddy Needs to Grow Up
My Baby's Daddy is a semi-comic tale of three friends who all get their girlfriends pregnant at the same time and are suddenly thrown into the job of father. This film stars comedian Eddie Griffin (Coneheads, John Q, Undercover Brother), Anthony Anderson (Big Mommas House, Me, Myself & Irene, Barbershop) and Michael Imperioli (Goodfellas, Bad Boys, Summer of Sam). This obvious rendition of Three Men and a Baby has the potential to be a funny and touching film, but falls short in several categories. The film opens with a really fun and fresh animation sequence, telling the story of the boys growing up together, getting in trouble and establishing their characters. Griffin plays Lonnie, the nerd of the group, who is hopelessly in love with a slut who uses him for his money. Anderson plays G, a lighthearted guy who has dreams to be the next Rocky. Imperioli is Dominic, a self proclaimed player who is trying to produce Hip Hop records. Anderson is by far the most interesting of the three friends, but still comes short. The biggest problem with the film is that the comedy and the spirit of the story are not consistent. There are some genuinely funny and touching moments that lead the audience to think there might be some substance to the film- as soon as you think that, the moment is ruined by a fart joke or some over the top, quasi-comedic attempt. Some times it feels like a touching light comedy only to have the humor whip into a crude, farcical hodge-podge. Griffin does his typical thing, swapping his look around as he transforms from a goggle-glasses wearing nerd, to an afro sporting, FUBU clad player. Anderson has some interesting banter between himself and his Chinese girlfriend's father. Whereas this might be an interesting dynamic to have, the writers messed it up with cheap shots to Asian names by coming up with sarcastic, 80's-esque names for her family; Fung Yu, Bling Bling, and others just as dismal. Imperioli is a throw-away character who really accomplishes nothing in the film. He's used to get to jokes about poser white rappers and an excuse to get two girls to kiss. Overall there are a few chuckles mixed in there, but what could have been a fun and touching film about three guys growing into fatherhood, turned into a mix of crude jokes and gags loosely linked by a story about babies. Time to grow up, boys. This is a very generous 4/10 star feature.