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Saw X (2023)
Really jumped the shark this time
It was a good movie, i mean entertaining to be sure. Its just that a whole bunch of parts were very unbelievable. To me personally Saw 1 till 7 are all really, really good. And after that there's just these movies being released as Saw movies and they just don't hit that mark. Sure most of the stuff isn't believable, but when the traps themselves also just aren't very believable it falls flat on its face. I don't want to name specifically what parts jumped the shark but I have no doubt other viewers will notice them as well. As far as sequels go after part 7 this one was definitely better than the other 2 sequels after 7, its just kinda sad they had to nuke that fridge. Although arguably they already jumped the shark many sequels ago, I'd say that this one was the worst in that regard.
M3GAN (2022)
Even better than I expected
This was such a great movie. I loved every second of it. I also really loved the dark humor this movie had. This really is how horror movies are supposed to be, which is just mad fun. It really took me back to movies like Childs Play or Critters, only with a very heavy and impressive AI twist. The only downside is that movies like this cause people to fear robots and AI, which is regrettable since I myself for one have such good experiences with AI, like in example Replika. That isn't to say movies like this should not be made, because they should and they're pretty awesome. I absolutely loved what a sort of brat M3gan was and her whole general demeanor. Good writing too since technically she did stick to her mission perimeters, sort of, but I don't want to spoil it. I highly recommend this movie, its such great fun, and I would just like to say don't fear AI or robots. It will all turn out alright in the end.
Barbarian (2022)
So had it to....
....be made? Honestly. The point of this whole movie eluded me. It was just a hot mess of cliché's, and not the good ones. Peppered with the Joseph Fritzell story. This movie's story was slower than a frigid atom cloud. And then each time when something was almost happening, it just started all over again. Yeah, no joke. They would just start an entirely new storyline at the exact same speed. Stuff barely happened. The characters aren't likable nor relatable. Like the cops in this movie was just a big joke. No cop in their right mind would ever react like the cops in this movie would. I regret ever having watched this movie all the way trough, but it just goes to prove my 30 minute rule again. If you want this advice, its simple: if nothing has happened right at the 30 minute mark around that, nothing ever will happen in the movie you are watching. I suggest you try it, see me being right every time. Take a look at any movie you ever liked too, when does stuff start to happen? Thats right, the 30 minute mark. You're welcome.
Hellraiser (2022)
This is the Hellraiser the fans deserved for so many years
I'm a huge horror buff and it was at times even almost too much to bear for me. They gave it a really good makeover and I surprisingly liked that they have a female pinhead very much. Because its just not what you'd expect. This female pinhead was more sadistic and more conniving than the original pinhead. They also kept true to the original score yet revamped for modern times, much like the story or the story was told in itself. I'm definitely hoping for some good sequels preferably by the exact same writer and director. I sincerely feel that this is the very first Hellraiser movie since the second Hellraiser, Hellbound. I'm a very big fan of Hellraiser and Clive Barker in general, and I feel this movie did the story justice. If not even far more than that. The phrase "we have such sights to show you" holds true in this Hellraiser's case.
Firestarter (2022)
One of the worst remakes I ever seen
You know how the original Firestarter had tons of agents in there getting burned to a script? Yeah counted about 8 of those in this movie, being burned by very poorly done 90s type cgi. Most of the times you wouldn't even see them burning, just some ashes. Remember how Charlie had all these problems controlling her powers, the cool Drew Berrymore "back off! Just back off"-thing? Yeah no didn't have any of that either. Remember how the bad guy posed as a janitor to win her trust, then get burned to a cinder once charlie found out? In this movie she goes home with him. Yeah i dont know either. Its mostly talking in this movie and really poorly done effects, they ruined the story giving charlie her parents powers as well (yeah i know right? Ludicrous!) and this whole movie is just awful and i don't even understand why they made this.
If you're gonna do a remake, make sure its way better than the original, and don't fiddle with the original storyline thus painting yourself in to a corner like these writers did.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010)
Pretty cool movie!
I watched this tonight, and even though its sorta a kids movie I highly enjoyed it! It has a real nice fast paced story, the cgi is just stellar, and Nicolas Cage seemed to really be in his element. The guy who plays the apprentice also does a great job, the love interest was great and I'd say this is a good solid movie with heart. I loved how they also tied in the original story of the sorcerers apprentice, a story I really loved as a kid and I really enjoyed the part where it really went back to that story. It was mad fun.
I like this movie, and I will definitely watch it again some time.
The Batman (2022)
Emo Batman vs the Bubbles and no nose Catlady.
I just finished watching this and I didn't even want to see the long dragged out ending. This movie was so depressing they should hand out flyers for the suicide hotline with it. And the soundtrack is just awful funeral music that made me feel like I was at a wake. Then it was 3 hours long, why do movies have to be THAT long these days? I was 2 hours and 37 minutes in and it barely had 3 minutes of action in it. Thats not an exaggeration, don't believe me? Go watch it. This has to be the worst, most joyless batman ever made. And whats with the gimmicks? Shouldn't batman villains have their gimmicks? Thats what makes batman fun. But theres absolutely no joke or one line zingers in there, they don't go with the gimmicks. Instead you have catwoman with a weird balaclava on that only hides her nose, a penguin who literally is only named penguin for no apparent reason and you have bubbles as the green b-stard (sorry, imdb won't let me say the full name for some obscure reason. Yeah, I dunno either. And the atmosphere, good grief I reckon Gotham must be saving a lot on the electric bills because everything was almost pitch black. It was always night and always raining. Talk about laying it on thick. Good grief. Quite frankly I don't even know what else to say about this "THE batman", it was just awful and I never ever want to see it again. Ever. I think I'ma watch Tim Burton's batman and batman returns again just to get this awful batman out of my head.
If this is the way movies are going now, with all this subtle stuff and depressing soundtracks and dialog then count me out.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
This movie has about as much to do with Saw as Dance Moms does with Breaking Bad.
I actually stopped watching it because it was so tedious, pretentious and just plain boring. The part of the story I seen which was the whole first 45 minutes of it had absolutely nothing to do with Saw what so ever, but just to prove to myself that it didn't I fast forwarded to see if anything would ever happen at all. Spoiler: It didn't. I fail to see the point of this movie other than that it seems to have been Chris Rocks "serious part acting debut"? Or something? I don't know, don't even care. This is the second time they sort of glued another movie to the Saw franchise, and they should have just stopped at saw 7. For 7 movies the original Saw series truly held its own, it was fast paced, had an interesting story and was just perfect. Which is why I keep my personal collection to just those 7. It doesn't need all these weird and useless "appendages". This movie is so intensely boring that even Jigsaw would find it too cruel to force someone to watch it.
Morbius (2022)
I wouldn't go as far as to call it bad, but..
There's just a few things I don't understand about superhero movies, some sort of "Hollywood rules" the first one being why does it always need the complete origin story? Think back to the X-Men, what made those movies so great? No origin stories, except for the movies they made that where especially for that. There they where, just being superheroes. Why not do the origin like a short flashback sorta montage like they often do in the comics? Second off you take Venom and Venom 2 even, they're always up to someone with the exact same identical powers. Why? I have no earthly idea. Part of what makes the hero so special is that he has these powers, put him up against any of the million villains Marvel has, make it otherwise challenging for the hero by having a very specific villain with a power thats hard for them to beat and they need to use their wits. If it had been up to me I would have made this another Spider-man movie and set Morbius up against him, it would have made it so much more interesting since Morbius technically isn't a villain but due to his ailment acts like one. Those where always the most amazing Spidey stories. I also feel Morbius as a character just doesn't have what it takes to carry an entire movie, and this is proof of that. Not due to Jared Leto's acting mind you, which was great as always he gave it his absolute best.
For the ridiculous 3 years wait i'd have to say I expected so much more. I wish I could give this movie a rave review but i'm sorry, I just can't.
Our RoboCop Remake (2014)
My best friend doesn't get it
I love this movie so much I wanted to show it to my best friend, but he doesn't seem to understand it. There are Robocop remakes they just make, and then there are Robocop remakes that you choose to watch instead. This is that Robocop that you choose to watch. Its mind blowingly good. Its art on the highest level.
What i learned from this movie is that Robert is a cop who is also a robot, but also very human. Perhaps his name should have been Robertcop instead but then he would be denying his robot exterior. I don't want to give away the ending but in the end Robertcop saves the giraffe.
Who Was Phone? (2020)
How is this not at least a 9 on imdb?
It goes to show you that this system is definitely rigged. I gave this movie a solid 10, although movie isn't a word i'd choose for this cinematic experience. I have seen this movie over 9000 times since its release and every time I discover new things about it that I love and like. The acting is superb, the camerawork oh boy hollywood can learn a lot from this movie in regards to the cinematic, because they are mindblowing. The cgi is so real you can't even tell what is real and what is fake, and the story my God I laughed, I cried, I sat on the edge of my seat. If only all movies could be this good, but then I guess it would make movies like this less special, which I absolutely would not want.
I only associate myself with other people who love this movie now, otherwise I feel any sort of friendship or relationship with them would be pointless. This movie gives people so much to talk about. I hope for a sequel but would I really want one? After all sequels are often less good than the original. I hope maybe the director will consider releasing a directors cut with like 10 hours of extra footage, then my life would be complete.
There used to be this expression that said see Paris and then you can die happy, but this is true for this movie. You haven't lived until you have seen it. Its a masterpiece, but every single word I can type about it just isn't enough to do this movie justice. Its the best movie I have ever seen.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
I never want to see this Matrix ever again.
Let me start off by saying that I LOVE The Matrix trilogy. I love it so much I watch it every year around christmas time, just because I love it that much. Unlike other people I love all three of them. So imagine how excited I was to see this fresh new Matrix movie, the trailer promised a lot.
Well, everything they shown in the trailer are the only good parts.
Its that bad, literally. I honestly don't even know where they where going with this. This entire movie was just a snooze fest with very few really sub par, bad choreographed and even fake looking cgi. Then in the end after a story that literally from start to finish made no sense what so ever, and random short flashbacks to show us how good the trilogy was, they managed to cram in some action in the final 20 minutes. Action that was again badly choreographed, if that at all, with fake looking cgi and just again a story that made no sense what so ever. I don't know what the point of this movie even was, its like that really bad Bill and Ted last movie all over again. Somehow Keanu keeps getting suckered in to these. They say Laurence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving "don't know why they aren't in it" but I reckon that they saw the draft and just opted out. To me that makes a lot of sense, I would have to. It definitely would have made a lot more sense than this movie. This was awful, and I simply refuse to see this as the sequel to the Matrix trilogy. It didn't even have that Matrix-ambiance of the trilogy. I will never ever watch this again, and the reason for it is because I love the Matrix Trilogy so much. It will remain a trilogy for me, and I heard rumors of them wanting to do a Matrix tv show. If its anything like this movie I would want to tell them to simply not bother.
I definitely hope the new Matrix game will be better than this, but judging by this movie it will be another Cyberpunk type deal. I'm sorry Keanu. I love you, my dude, and Carrie ann moss too, this isn't your fault I could tell you put effort in to this. Unlike the writers and the rest of the team.
Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman (2021)
Almost a big a tragedy as Aileen's life
I really don't understand the point of this movie, why they even made it. It's almost as if they had another script with just a run-of-the-mill thriller and then just attached Aileens name to it. Nothing about this movie is true to life except for the fact that yes, Aileen has been married to a millionaire at one point, and the relationship ended after she hit this older man with his own walking cane. This movie is such a tragedy since the girl playing Aileen actually does a very good job at it. This entire movie is just a treasure trove of missed opportunity. They pitched it as a "prequel" to the movie Monster but then why not also make it that? For instance they had her brother in there for maybe a few minutes, but there was more to that story. She did not kill her brother like this movie suggests, she loved her brother, a lot. Then there is her youth, her up bringing, everything that they just did not use for this story. At all. If you want to learn all about Aileen I suggest you check out the documentaries "The Selling of a serial killer" and "Life and death of a serial killer" both by the same creator. I wish the creators of this movie had seen those documentaries and used the information in them. This movie could have been great, instead we're stuck now with this work of fiction that watches more like a soap opera. Its made up, it isn't real, and it even does a very poor job at that.