lloyd219 Reviews

The Hours (2002)

The Hours, felt like days

[3/10 · 27 February 2003]

The sitcom, Seinfeld described itself as a show about nothing. Well now we have the cinematic equivalent of it, a film about nothing.

I yawned and squirmed in my seat for two hours as 'the action' switched between the three angst ridden female characters on screen. I would have walked out of the theatre after 40 minutes if I hadn't been there with a friend. As time dragged on I wondered to myself, what is the point of all this? The women in this 'story' are dissatisfied with their lot. So what? Does this make good drama? Not in my humble opinion.

When it comes down to it, The Hours is nothing more than a high production value soap. Nicole Kidman's, Virginia Woolf had the personality of dish cloth. Talk about an unappealing character. Nicole's big nose was slightly amusing but I would have preferred a flashing red model. Anything to lighten the tone of this dreary movie.

A lot of people obviously love this film. A lot of people also love soap operas. Fine, I have no problem with that. I just wish a new cinema rating was introduced PD, Pretentious Drivel, so that people like me could avoid pointless exercises in navel gazing such as this.

S1m0ne (2002)

Simulation comedy delivers real laughs

[8/10 · 25 February 2003]

Know what its like fronting up to a film after reading mixed reviews?

Doubts cross your mind. Have I just wasted my $9. Is this going to be a real turkey? In the case of Simone the answer was a definite NO!

My friends and I were pleasantly surprised and thoroughly enjoyed this film. This is a fresh and clever, biting, satire of Hollywood that provides a liberal number of belly laughs throughout. Pacino puts in a excellent performance, as usual and is supported by a strong cast.

Our old friend, Winona Ryder even makes an appearance. Of course she steals her scene but assured the LAPD she'd return it after being apprehended. Sorry, couldn't resist the cheap shot.

I'm at a loss to know why Simone hasn't received more kudos. It deals with a poignant and timely subject line, simulated actors and is adeptly written and directed. Maybe its too good for the mass market? I don't know. Hopefully it will do better on video and dvd...it deserves to.

Crackerjack (2002)

Bowls Buster Of A Movie

[7/10 · 27 November 2002]

I was reticent to see this flick before reading the external reviews and user comments posted here. Why? Firstly because Mick Malloy's humour can (in my humble opinion) be pretty crass and over the top, evidenced by his ill fated shemozzle of a television show some years back. And secondly because good Aussie comedy films are sadly as rare as the Tassie Tiger.

Sensibly Mick has restrained his natural comedic exuberance in this surprisingly watchable movie. Who would have thought that a bowls club would provide the setting for one of the funniest Australian films in years. The cast is excellent with familiar local old timers all putting in believable performances.

Interesting to see John Clarke playing the villain in this piece. It's a one dimensional part but JC still adds a touch of class, as always. Good to see Judith Lucy also getting a Guernsey or should I saw bowls uniform on the big screen. She's a real talent, pity a number of her retorts were expletives. Her own material is a lot wittier. Interesting character though. Bowls reporter on a local rag. How low on the journalist food chain can one get!!

Crackerjack may not be the funniest film I've seen this year but it's certainly an enjoyable diversion, well worth a look. Lots of other people obviously agree with me as it's headed to be the biggest grossing Australian film this year. Good to see someone finally make a quirky, gentle comedy without trying to sledgehammer the laughs like so many Australian 'comedies' before it.

Finally a bit of trivia. If you're wondering which Aussie Rules team Mick supports check out the flag on his workstation. Also look out for his old partner in crime, Tony Martin doing the announcing in the final bowls scene.

One Night at McCool's (2001)

Funny, enjoyable escapist fluff

[8/10 · 2 November 2001]

After reading several reviews of this film I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I parked my arse in the cinema. Maybe that's a good thing as I didn't have particularly high expectations. To my delight I was pleasantly surprised to catch a movie that delivered a number of good old fashioned belly laughs. What more could one as of a comedy.

The premise of an attractive manipulative woman playing off three smitten men is well trodden territory but it doesn't matter. This film has it's tongue planted firmly in it's cheek. There's nothing profound or deep here, it's just a bit of fun, stupid, fluff which I find good occasionally. I know comedy is incredibly subjective, but if you liked 'There's Something About Mary' I think it would be worth your while to check out One Night at McCool's.

I really enjoyed the performances of the talented cast in this piece. It was refreshing to see Michael Douglas play a grungy character in a bingo hall of all places! And look out for the ending, very funny and very well done. Although this film may not rate as a comic masterpiece it had enough in it to keep me amused for one and a half hours. Check it out for yourself. It deserves a look.

Lantana (2001)

Too Pretentious Too Self Absorbed

[6/10 · 22 October 2001]

It's been some time since I last saw an Oz film. Now I know why. A lot of films, especially art house, character pieces can take some time to get up a head of steam. For me Lantana never developed enough steam to iron a hankie, let alone keep me engaged for approx 2 hours. It chose to allow it's characters to internalise ad nauseam. Like LaPaglia's character I began to feel numb midway through this flick, making furtive glances at my watch to see how much time had elapsed.

To be honest I felt no empathy for his character. A burnt out cop having a mid life crisis. Please!!! Spare me the clichés. Maybe if there had been some progression in the character but no. We discover he feels numb with no explanation as to why. His character appears to undergo no journey as such, however miraculously at the end of the film it's happy families. Give me a break!!

And what an original device, using the psychologist. Gee, do you reckon the writer might have seen an episode of two of the Sopranos? Then there's a scene where LaPaglia hugs a fellow jogger who wails cathartically. Wanky new age dross at it's finest. And what's the story when Hershey yells out at the character of Pete in the street for no apparent reason? No doubt she has some deep and meaningful motivation for such action like the rest of the characters.

I admit I have a low tolerance for films like this that take themselves so damn seriously. There's one scene where LaPaglia tells 'a friend' repeatedly that she shouldn't have picked up a piece of evidence and it's very funny. Pity the whole piece wasn't lightened up more. I actually thought the crime plot as it was was quite good. It's a pity that it was treated as an after thought near the end of the film. It's not a crime to introduce a plot earlier in a film you know.

I thought Latana was visually impressive and I actually enjoyed most of the performances, in spite of their generally angst ridden states. Personally I'd nominate Rachel Blake as the pick of the performers. Hopefully she can pop up again in another movie soon.

Evolution (2001)

A Lost Opportunity

[6/10 · 25 June 2001]

Evolution has one of the strongest Sci Fi plotlines I've encountered in a movie for some time. A premise that had the potential to develop into a truly great film. Unfortunately very little of this potential is ever realised on screen. Instead what we end up with is a Porkys meets Independence Day mish mash that does nothing for the careers of anyone involved on set.

Guys if you're going to do a teen comedy please don't use a good storyline like this. Do a Tim Burton and shoot a 'Mars Attacks'. I like others here wonder why Duchovny ever agreed to be in this film. Most of his time he plays the part of a lame straight man while the buffoons around him react to a possible alien invasion by cracking bad one liners and doing infantile sight gags. And the supposed love interest between Duchovny & Moore looked like it was cut and pasted in from a B grade script writing programme.

In spite of the fore mentioned Evolution wasn't the worst film I've seen this year. It did have it's amusing moments and the special effects were spectacular. I just would have liked to have seen this film made by someone like Ridley Scott. Mind you the young girls sitting next to me were continually cackling at the obvious jokes and toilet humour that pervades this piece. Guess Hollywood doesn't really care what some middle aged old fart like me thinks of their films.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

sucked in by Sino cinema hype

[6/10 · 15 March 2001]

Yes this is a beautifully photographed film. So what! I didn't pay my hard earns to watch a promo for tourism in mainland China. Call me crazy but when I go to the cinema I like to se a solid plot in conjunction with characters I can emphasize with. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon provided neither for me.

At one stage I thought I was watching a Chinese version of Peter Pan as actors miraculously walked up walls and zoomed across tree tops. I don't have a problem with fantasy but hey guys it would nice to have the ground rules set up before evaporating any historical realism.

I admit martial arts set pieces leave me cold and this film did nothing to change my opinion in this respect. Maybe it's cultural I don't know but those staged fights left me cold. After a while we knew the ball busting chic was unstoppable so it came as no surprise she wasted all the guys in the Chinese version of the old west bar. I got to tell you I had no sympathy for this character. To me she was a privileged spoiled brat who deserved a bit of pay back. The way she treated that barbarian suitor. Why did he put up with her s**t? I would have been interested in the back story to that.

Instead we're treated to cliché city. Just because this film is Chinese and beautifully shot doesn't make it a masterpiece. I'm gratified to see that other user comments are also critical. So they should be. If eye candy and clichés is what you're after go for it. For me there are much better films around this year. Unfortunately the external critics and the voters of the academy tend to hunt in packs so this film will probably scoop the poll. So be it. I'm glad to see I'm not the only heretic here.

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)

Shame on you Landis and Aykroyd

[5/10 · 8 March 2001]

Like many other people I loved the Blues Brothers. One of the great musicals of all time. (and I don't even like musicals as a rule)

When a film reaches such heights you don't expect the sequel to match it. So naturally my expectations were lowered to some extent when I caught this flick on TV. However I wasn't expecting this pitiful limp offering. First thing I noticed is that the film lacked the energy of the original. But worse was to come, to my astonishment nearly every scene from the original BBs was duplicated, BADLY! I became progressively angrier as I watched this waste of film footage spool along.

The only point of interest was watching which of these performers had developed the biggest bald spot or widest girth. BBs 2000 is an insult to the memory of the original film and a lesson to other film makers. Leave the classics alone, they're almost impossible to improve on.

Norm (1999–2001)

Love you Norm

[6 March 2001]

I first saw Norm several months ago and was instantly hooked. This guy is genuinely FUNNY!!! His dry wit breaks me up and I love the hard edge to his character. It's also good to see that Willy Tanner is no longer playing second banana to a stuffed alien aka Alf and has 'risen' through the ranks in social security to now be boss. (talk about type casting) Like all quality sitcoms Norm has a strong ensemble of performers. It's so good I'm afraid it may well be axed before it gets to fully spread it's wings. Hope I'm wrong. Mind you I'm sure it wouldn't have even got past pilot stage in Australia. Look what they've done to Frasier here, dumped it in summer because it doesn't rate. Go figure. Norm's now showing here in prime time. The inventor of the VCR deserves a medal.

My Vote 10 out of 10