Kent Penny Reviews

Freebie and the Bean (1974)

Off-beat, maybe offensive, very funny

[5/10 · 29 April 2000]

This is a classic! You don't see films like this anymore. Everything is too "Hollywood" now. But in 1974 this was still acceptable humour. Yes, it would be offensive to some, but just for a change it gets my thumbs up.

James Caan and Alan Arkin work well together as oddball cops and I can only say bring it out on DVD!

Love Lies Bleeding (1999)

Inaccuracies spoil potential

[23 April 2000]

I have an interest in the Jack The Ripper. There's something about those 5 unsolved murders committed in London in 1888 - all the suspects, each with some reasonable motive and/or link to the victims. So when I saw this film on the shelf at the video store, I had to get it.....

Mistake.

Yes, it has nice costumes and pleasant sets, but that's as good as this film gets. It's full of inaccuracies, with poor acting and a stupid fictionalised storyline.

Whoever wrote the screenplay must have found some "Reader's Digest Condensed History of Jack The Ripper", because only major events were covered, and even then they weren't always quite right, with the majority of the "film" seemingly dreamed up after a big night out on the booze.

If you don't know much about Jack The Ripper and think those daytime soap actors have talent, this might be acceptable viewing. On the other hand, if you're looking for something with a bit of substance, you'll most likely be disappointed and feel a need to hide your face when you return this turkey to the store.

Canines of the Caribbean (1985 TV Movie)

Possibly the worst film I've ever seen.

[1/10 · 14 April 2000]

This was appalling. My neighbour made me watch it and believe me I begged him to turn it off!

What have we got here? A totally disjointed Japanese-made film poorly dubbed into English.

Nothing really made sense and to be honest I have no idea what the thing was about, except to say a woman and some annoying kids get trapped in an alternate reality where apes rule the planet. (No, I didn't seen Charlton Heston ride past crying, "You maniacs, you blew it up!")

It's so bad, I recommend you get a copy for when unwanted visitors drop by. "Yeah, sure you can come in. I'm watching Time of The Apes. Take a seat!" Guaranteed they will leave within 15 minutes!

As a matter of fact, I'm looking for a copy of this film myself.