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Reviews
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Boooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!
I saw this movie on the second day it was open. Packed theater, enthusiastic, young crowd. Everyone psyched. By the end of the film, I had nearly fallen asleep twice, and not once, NOT ONCE, did the film get anything like a cheer or gasp or ANYTHING out of the audience. I'm sure most people love this film bec. it's Star Wars so there is sentimental attachment from childhood and all that. But the truth is this film was a big wad of nothing. I didn't care about anyone in the film, the acting was wooden, the effects were gratuitous (i.e. there for show and not much else) ... my list of complaints goes on and on. I'm not a critic (not professionally anyway), so listen to me when I say this movie bites. But you'll see it anyway. Actually, you probably already have. If we could all admit that Star Wars is not about the movies anymore, but about selling badly made plastic products and/or soda to children, then we could cease arguing about the film bec. its artistic merit would be beside the point. FRINK-3
Cube (1997)
Good but not Great
This movie was terribly original, I'll give it that. I enjoyed watching it mainly because it was not dumb and predictable like most alleged suspense films. The acting was a bit subpar, but the kinds of relationships that developed between the people trapped in the Cube were really compelling. I hated the ending, which I won't give away, but let's just say it's bleak and violent. I don't need a happy ending, but this one seemed gratuitously depressing. Still, a very entertaining film, unlike anything you're likely to have seen. 7/10 --Frink-3
Suicide Kings (1997)
Good acting, bad plot
Walken and Leary are great in this film. Most of the young men are good too. The problem here is that the plot is thin and implausible -- and the ending is stupid and tacked on. There are Very funny moments, and the movie starts to come apart only when we're asked to take the movie seriously as a drama on some level. The movie forgets it's a comedy, sadly. Still, there are a lot of laughs here, and when Walken is on, he's amazing to watch. 7/10 --Frink-3
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
Uneven
Denise Richards is hilarious as a ruthless teen beauty queen who resorts to all manner of tasteless homespun cheesiness (oh, and murder) in order to win her local beauty pageant. Kirsten Dunst is also great as her main rival. Bits of this movie are laugh-out-loud funny. But a lot of it is just dumb. It's mean-spirited in a pointless, unfunny way. Lots of dead teenagers, lots of retard jokes. If you're looking to beat the heat and can't think of anything to see, see this. If you're looking for a really good movie, look elsewhere.
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
Underrated, Brilliant
No one took this film seriously when it came out earlier this decade. Most people thought it a fluffy, trifle of a film. And it is certainly light-hearted compared to some of Allen's weightier fare (see Husbands and Wives, his best movie of the past decade). But having watched this film again recently I think it is a stunning achievement in comedy. Allen and Keaton have great chemistry as a couple in a humdrum marriage who stumble on to what turns out to be a murder cover-up. Watching all the people in this film try to figure out how to be detectives based on stuff they've seen in movies and read in books is hilarious, not to mention smart. The latenight dinner conversation among Allen, Keaton, Alda, and Huston is some of the best, sharpest, funniest, fastest dialogue ever written (or ad libbed). One of the best comedies of the 90s. frink-3
The Simpsons (1989)
"Worst Episode Ever."
The Simpsons is simply the best television show in the history of the world. This is not an exaggeration. It's not even a contest. Even when the Simpsons has creative dips (how could it NOT given how brilliant it is?), it is still better than 99% of anything on tv. Contrary to popular opinion, the show has actually gotten Better over the past season or so. Marge's Canyonero ... that episode is one of the best of all time. I quote The Simpsons all the time, not to be funny, but because I've watched it So Often that the lines just come to me. It's a sickness, really. Even the episodes I absolutely can't stand (the George Bush ep, for instance) have something to redeem them ("It's a CANDY dish, Ned! Ninety dollars!," the introduction of Disco Stu, etc.). The Simpsons can't even be compared to other sitcoms bec. it's not a fair contest. They can do more w/ animation than a live show can ever hope to do. When this show goes off the air I will, in all seriousness, go into a depression. It's an entire world I have inhabited for 10 years. My god, the show has almost 100 RECURRING characters. Yes, it's true, and that is NOT an exaggeration. The show is That deep, and that's part of its brilliance. I wish they would bring back Martin Prince ("Deploy, damn you! Deploy!" "Now *I'll* be the Queen of summertime ... I mean King!" "Hark to the tale of Nelson / And the boy he loved so dear" etc. etc. etc.), who has been relegated to bit appearances as Ralph Wiggum's star has risen. I could talk about this show forever and ever and ever. How I actually managed to get a Ph.D. and land a job is beyond me.
Lisa rules!
The Whole Wide World (1996)
Beautifully Acted
A beautifully acted, extraordinarily touching film. D'Onofrio is my favorite actor based almost solely on this performance. Zellweger gained an enormous amount of credibility as an actress in my eyes after I saw this movie. Jerry Maguire was OK, but it didn't really show the full range of her talents. This is a stunning movie -- one of my favorite romantic movies of all time (see also Dogfight). I'm so happy to see how many other people REALLY like this film. --Frink-3
Walking and Talking (1996)
Keener Rules
The best little movie that no one ever saw. Catherine Keener is one of the best actresses around, and she's particularly good at comic roles. The relationship betw. her and Heche in this movie is really touching and authentic. Few movies focus on women's friendships w/ one another, and even fewer achieve this level of realism and complexity. Kevin Corrigan is deadpan hilarious as Keener's ... I guess you could call him a love interest, but that's not quite it. This is a very funny and yet a very sweet movie. --Frink-3
Son in Law (1993)
Not Terrible
This is the only Pauly Shore movie you should ever see. O.K., it's the only one I've ever seen, and I think I've made good choices. I normally find Shore's shtick kind of tired, but he is very funny in this movie. Actually, the script is pretty funny, and Shore doesn't overwhelm the other actors with his ... what do you call it? Tomfoolery? Anyway, this is a funny, if ultimately forgettable film. --Frink-3
Grand Canyon (1991)
#5 on my Worst Ten Movies of the 90s list
After reading all these positive reviews, I had to stop and write a little something about this terrible, intelligence-insulting, white-liberal crapfest of a movie. Grand Canyon is the filmic equivalent of the now humorously infamous question: "Can't we all just get along?" If you like false messages of hope crammed down your throat, this is the movie for you. If you like bad, disjointed writing, this is the movie for you. If you like seeing amazingly talented actors wasting their time, this is the movie for you. Perhaps the greatest waste of acting talent in the history of humankind. Unbelievably, nauseatingly, unforgettably bad. I *literally* got sick to my stomach after seeing this film. OK, it was probably bad Chinese food, but still, I stand firm in my belief that there was some connection. If you care at all about the health of your soul you will avoid this film. --Frink-3
Lolita (1997)
Humorless junk
How any conscious adult could watch this film and like it, let alone be moved to tears by it, is way way beyond me. I laughed at most of this movie. Adrian Lyne as director...(if you're in the mood for masochism, please rent Indecent Proposal -- the worst movie of the decade (and I see a LOT of movies)). Casting was all wrong, the direction was unnecessarily lurid, and the movie had Absolutely No Sense of Humor. If you have read the (brilliant) novel or seen the (brilliant) Sellers film, you know that part of the disturbingly beautiful nature of *Lolita* is that it is unexpectedly hilarious. I laughed at the Lyne film, as I say, but only because I was amused at how seriously it was taking itself. Yes, Lolita is a serious work about serious matters, but this movie is flat and austere compared to the novel or the other film. No wonder it couldn't find an American distributor. The idea that America is too disturbed by this subject matter is crap (see Happiness ... please). This movie just Sucked. 2/10.
Get Real (1998)
Disappointing
I really wanted to like this film, and I do think it is ambitious, in that it portrays an aspect of teen sexuality often left in the closet, so to speak. But this film really lacked energy. A lot of the dialogue was terribly hackneyed. There is no real investigation of the relationship betw. the main boy and his parents, which I would have loved to see. The acting is mostly flat, though the girl who plays the main boy's best friend has some great moments. I feel like this film is being overrated bec. people are (as they should be) sympathetic to the subject matter. But as a film about teenagers, there is something lacking. A sense of humor, mainly.
Happiness (1998)
This Movie Changed My Life
OK, it didn't really change my life, but I have never been so roughed up by a movie in my life. Every other scene made my jaw drop. Half the fun was listening to the audience squirm somewhere between laughter and horror. Camryn Manheim is BRILLIANT -- the scene where she confesses her ... crime... is unforgettable, as is most of this movie. I never knew what to expect, I had no idea where the film was going, and I loved it. Where most films serve up familiar scenes in familiar packages, this one engages you, dares you to watch, sucks you in ... For days afterward I couldn't stop thinking about the movie. The very first scene is probably the best work John Lovitz has ever done. This movie looks dead on at some of the most awkward and horrific things in American culture, but never ever ever tells you or suggests to you what you should think or feel, the way most films do. See it w/ someone you know and at least like, bec. you're going to HAVE to talk about it afterward. The best movie of 1998.
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
Amazingly bad
I would have given this movie a 1, but I laughed so hard, so many times, that I had to give it a little credit, in the off off off off chance the film was Supposed to be funny. A movie so bad you'll think chimps wrote it. You'll wish chimps had written it. Dialogue so canned that only it and the cockroaches will survive the coming nuclear holocaust. The movie Exaggerates its awfulness by intersplicing scenes from the Original Carrie (a really good film) into scenes from this one. Like intersplicing scenes from Taxi Driver into Baby Geniuses. Do not rent it alone, as you will NOT enjoy the experience. You will need someone next to you to confirm the badness of what you are viewing. Worst actress of the Millenium goes to poor poor Amy Irving as the stone-faced, monotone, disastrously wooden school counselor. Worst movie of the year so far (see also _Arlington Road_). --FRINK-3