The West Wing (TV Series)

Celestial Navigation (2000)

Bradley Whitford: Josh Lyman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Josh Lyman : [C.J. appears with an obviously a swollen cheek]  What the hell happened?

  Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : I had woot canaw.

  Josh Lyman : What happened to your cheeks?

  Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : I had woot canaw.

  Josh Lyman : Why are you talking like that?

  Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : I HAD WOOT CANAW!

  Josh Lyman : [smiling]  Yeah, I heard you the first time. I was just amusing myself.

  Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : I can suggest some othew things you can do wiff yourseff.

• Josh Lyman : The hardest job in the White House is the President. The second hardest job is not Chief of Staff, it's not National Security Advisor, and it's not Press Secretary, although I'm gaining a certain amount of respect for Press Secretaries. The second hardest job in the White House belongs to a 21-year-old kid named Charlie Young. He's what's called the President's body man, his personal aide. He's with the President morning to night. He has a range of responsibilities, all of them difficult. But the one he hates most in this: From time to time it is his job to wake the President up in the morning. And on this particular morning, the President had gone to sleep only three hours earlier.

• Josh Lyman : Uh, long story short - you're going to be reading a bit today about your secret plan to fight inflation.

  President Josiah Bartlet : I have a secret plan to fight inflation?

  Josh Lyman : No.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Why am I going to be reading that I do?

  Josh Lyman : It was suggested in the press room that you did.

  President Josiah Bartlet : By who?

  Josh Lyman : By me.

  President Josiah Bartlet : You told the press I have a secret plan to fight inflation?

  Josh Lyman : No, I did not. Let me be absolutely clear I did not do that. Except yes, I did that.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Josh, I'm a little confused.

  Josh Lyman : Sir, there was this idiotic round robin. It was sarcastic! There's no way they didn't know that. They were just mad at me for imposing discipline and calling them stupid.

• Josh Lyman : First, I'm happy to tell you that the incident involving Secretary O'Leary and Congressman Wooden has been dispensed with... though not really, and I'll get to that at the end. Sam asked C.J. to move the briefing to two o'clock so that we could fold in the teachers. C.J. had emergency root canal surgery at noon and so was unable to brief.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Who did?

  Josh Lyman : I did.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Oh, God.

• Danny Concannon : [Josh is about to do a press briefing when Danny approaches him]  You're not gonna do this.

  Josh Lyman : Do the briefing?

  Danny Concannon : You're not gonna do this.

  Josh Lyman : I talk to reporters all the time.

  Danny Concannon : You really don't want to do this.

  Josh Lyman : Let me tell you something, mi compadre. You guys have been coddled. I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your camp counselor, and I'm not your sixth-grade teacher you had a crush on. I'm a graduate of Harvard and Yale and I believe that my powers of debate can rise to meet the Socratic wonder that is the White House press corps.

  [heads to the podium] 

  Danny Concannon : Okey-dokey.

• Josh Lyman : [Leo has to meet with the President in the morning to discuss a series of mishaps involving the staff]  Can I say something?

  Leo McGarry : What?

  Josh Lyman : A lot of this is our fault. And the President probably isn't going to take this very well and we just want you to know that we will be there with you in spirit tomorrow morning.

  Leo McGarry : You're gonna be there with me in every way imaginable, Josh.

  Josh Lyman : You bet.

• Josh Lyman : [Toby has phoned Josh to tell him that he and Sam are lost]  Toby, how hard can it be to find the Wesley police station?

  Toby Ziegler : I don't know, Josh, but while we're looking, can you tell me a little more about the President's secret plan to fight inflation?

  Josh Lyman : [brief pause]  How long before you let up on me on that?

  Toby Ziegler : Oh, it's gonna take a little while, I would think.

• Josh Lyman : [after his disastrous press briefing]  Donna, call up Toby's office and see if he was watching.

  Toby Ziegler : [From off camera]  Where the hell is he?

  Josh Lyman : Never mind.

• Toby Ziegler : Have you fallen on your head?

  Josh Lyman : Toby... Listen...

  Toby Ziegler : Have you fallen down and hit your head on something hard?

• Danny Concannon : [At a press conference]  Is the reason you won't tell us about it that it's a secret?

  Josh Lyman : Yeah, Danny. We have a secret inflation plan.

• Josh Lyman : We decided to move the press briefing to 2 to cover the teachers. But C.J. had emergency Root Canal at noon and was unable to do the briefing.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Who did the briefing?

  Josh Lyman : I did.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Oh, God.

• Sam Seaborn : [bursts in]  We have a problem.

  Toby Ziegler : No kidding!

  Sam Seaborn : Not Josh.

  Josh Lyman : Praise God.

  Sam Seaborn : Although I gotta say, telling a reporter his question is stupid is not like a page out of Dale Carnegie or anything.