- Major General George Hammond: Would anyone care to speculate how a boy could be aware of our most classified information?
- Major Samantha Carter: Well, sir, it-it could be him.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: There is a physical resemblance.
- Major General George Hammond: But he can't be more than 15 years old. Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has somehow regressed more than 30 years overnight?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Stranger things have happened.
- Teal'c: Name but one.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, there was the time he got really old; the time he became a caveman; the time we all swapped bodies...
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: What's goin' on?
- Young Jack O'Neill: Daniel!
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sounds like him. At least the loud, grating part.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: [the Asgard Loki has cloned O'Neill] Hey! We just saved your flat little white asses from the Replicators. This is the thanks we get?
- Young Jack O'Neill: Hey, at least you're gonna live.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: [everyone looks at Young O'Neill] What?
- Young Jack O'Neill: Maybe you're a little put out, but this guy didn't hit all the right buttons on the Xerox.
- [Daniel walks into the holding room]
- Young Jack O'Neill: Daniel, will you tell them who I am? Please?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, love to. Who are you?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: I just woke up, haven't had coffee, let alone a pee in seven days, and I find out you stole my ass and made a... mini me.
- Teal'c: Do you not experience increased health and vitality?
- Young Jack O'Neill: My *vitality* was just fine, thank you.
- Teal'c: [looking in O'Neill's refrigerator] Are you conducting some sort of scientific experiment, O'Neill?
- Young Jack O'Neill: Hey, come one, that salsa's still good.
- [the guard hands a mug to Young Jack]
- Young Jack O'Neill: Finally!
- [takes a sip]
- Young Jack O'Neill: Hot chocolate? Are you kidding?
- Young Jack O'Neill: Had your Tretonin yet this morning?
- Teal'c: [turning to the others] How could this child possess such knowledge?
- Young Jack O'Neill: You know, ah, I think you two are enjoying this just a little too much.
- Major Samantha Carter: Well, you are kinda cute.
- Young Jack O'Neill: That's 'sir' to you, and being trapped inside a scrawny little body isn't my idea of cute, Carter.
- Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Thought I'd just drop by and say- Ow!
- Security Force Officer: [from outside] Sir, please do not resist.
- Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Hey, ease up, big guy!
- Major Samantha Carter: [to the pilots] ... stay focused.
- Security Force Officer: [from outside] Relax, sir.
- Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Okay, I'm warning you...
- Security Force Officer: [from outside] Sir, please, stay there
- Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Didn't I just say I was warning you? Hey! Oh! All right! That's it! Now, I'm mad!
- Major Samantha Carter: [Sam opens the door to see the young Colonel O'neill pinned to a wall by two Security Force Officers] You can release him.
- Young Jack O'Neill: [the guards release him] I'll forgo the charges for assaulting a superior officer. Carter... I could've taken him.
- Major Samantha Carter: I'm sure
- Dr. Janet Fraiser: There is a tiny abnormality, but for all intents and purposes, it's him.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Tiny abnormality, like the fact he's suddenly quite a few years younger than he's supposed to be?
- Young Jack O'Neill: I don't get it. We helped save their skinny asses from the replicators and as a thanks they shrink me and leave me to die.
- [Hammond shows Carter the individual who tried to enter the SGC with O'Neill's security ID]
- Major Samantha Carter: He's a boy, sir.
- Young Jack O'Neill: As it turns out, Carter, yes I am. For the moment.
- Young Jack O'Neill: I don't plan on staying like this.
- Major Samantha Carter: Well, in the meantime, may I make a suggestion? Try enjoying this as much as we are... sir.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: There's no easy way to tell you this, so... Sam's just gonna come out and say it.
- Major Samantha Carter: Well, sir, as you know, the Asgard depend on a cloning technology...
- Young Jack O'Neill: Oh, for cryin' out loud!
- Teal'c: You have been cloned, O'Neill.
- Young Jack O'Neill: [turning to face them] What!
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: How long was I asleep?
- Major Samantha Carter: Seven days.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: That's a record.
- Young Jack O'Neill: [to room full of Air Force pilots] I realize it doesn't actually say "Colonel" anywhere on my uniform, but it should.
- [Carter nods to room in agreement]
- Young Jack O'Neill: Look, last night, I ate some dinner, had a beer, went to bed and woke up like this. Now can we please just get to the part where you and Fraiser run some tests, find a cure, make me big again?
- Major General George Hammond: In the meantime, I suggest we try to make him as comfortable as possible.
- Major Samantha Carter: I'll go set up a Playstation.