Frasier (TV Series)

Roz's Turn (1997)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Martin : So, hey Roz, I hear you're trying out for a new job?

  Roz : Yes, as a matter of fact I am. And you can really help me with my demo.

  Martin : What do I do?

  Roz : I just want an honest answer. I want to talk to you about first dates.

  Martin : OK.

  Niles : [snickering]  Are you sure Dad's the best candidate for this particular subject?

  [Frasier also laughs] 

  Martin : Quick survey: how many Crane men here with a girlfriend?

  [He raises his hand. Frasier and Niles stop laughing] 

  Martin : No, no, keep 'em up while I count!

  Frasier : All right!

• Daphne : I should think having a lady friend would make you exercise more, not less. I don't mean to be indelicate, but a man in your condition who wants to enjoy certain, shall we say, indoor sports, should take steps to make sure that cranky old Mr. Hip doesn't, shall we say, let down the team, if you get my meaning?

  Martin : Don't you worry about me. I may not be the rookie of the year any more but I can still move around the bases!

  [Roz comes in] 

  Roz : Oh, hey, Martin.

  Niles : Oh, look, a scout from the majors.

• Roz : Alright, we're here with Martin and we're talking about first dates. Martin, tell me some of the tricks you use to impress women.

  Martin : Hmm... well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Roz, but I really don't know any tricks. I mean, if a woman agreed to go out with me, I'd er, well, I'm not there to impress her or to play cool. I'm there because I want to know her; er, what she thinks; er, what she likes, so that if I'm lucky enough to get another date I can plan something that I know she'd like to do. I guess I'm still old-fashioned or something, but I think you should treat a woman like a queen.

  [Roz and Daphne both sigh longingly] 

  Martin : [to Frasier and Niles]  Bow to the master, boys. Bow to the master.