John Goodman: Larry

Quotes 

• Sierra : [notices a plastic bag that has been thrown on the table by her parents]  What's that?

  Kate : Don't get cute. This isn't a game Sierra. It's catnip.

  [reads from a book] 

  Kate : Or as you and your friends might call it: Mulch, snorkel, monkey junk, street cheese or Siamese cole slaw.

  Sierra : What? You think that's mine?

  Larry : We found it in your room.

  Sierra : Oh my God. You searched my room. What happened to privacy?

  Sierra : We saw a movie about a lion that drove a truck! We're not going to let that happen to you.

  Sierra : Well it's not mine!

  Kate : Then who's is it?

  Sierra : I don't know. Maybe one of my friends put it there. Or maybe it's Siegfried and Roy's. I mean that would definetly explain the outfits.

  Kate : Uh-huh. We're supposed to believe that.

  Sierra : Yeah, because it's the truth.

  [pauses as she looks at her parents] 

  Sierra : I don't believe it. You don't trust me.

  Kate : No, we don't trust you. For all we know you're high on the...

  [glances at book again] 

  Kate : ... Friedman right this minute.

  Larry : [glances over at book in Kate's hands]  Honey, that's the doctor who did the study.

• Chutney : It's good you came to see my about your daughter. I've seen it all in my long life: Ravi Sahnkar, The Beatles... that whole crazy scene. Fact: I am Lucy, from "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". You don't know this because that damn McCartney wants credit for everything.

  Larry : You're Lucy? But you're a guy.

  Chutney : It was a weird time for all of us.

• Kate : [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it]  Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room.

  [hands bag to Larry] 

  Kate : Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.

  Larry : [sniffs bag]  Yep, that's catnip.

  Kate : Oh God, our daughter's a niphead.

  Sarmoti : Nice. You run a tight ship champ.

  [pats Larry on the back] 

  Kate : This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude.

  Larry : Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment.

  Sarmoti : "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant.

• Sierra : Well congratulations! I didn't want to do drugs before, but now maybe I will.

  Larry : You're grounded.

  Sierra : You are the worst parents EVER!

  Larry : We are not. My parents were!

• Sierra : [opens locked front door]  You guys are back early.

  Kate : Why was the door locked?

  Sierra : I don't know. The better question is: Why do we live in a world where the doors need locks?

  Larry : I think she's got us there.

• Larry : [over PA system at the Rave]  If any of you touch my daughter, I'll pull out your intestines and eat them while you watch.

• Kate : When I was a teenager I never tried catnip. Did you?

  Larry : Me? Catnip? Never.

  Snack : [drops into room]  Hey kitty cats. What's happening?

  Larry : [hands plastic bag to Snack]  We just found this in Sierra's room.

  Snack : Ahhhh- hah ha! This must take you back Lar. Always had the good stuff, huh buddy?

  Larry : [waving hands and shaking head in "no don't" gesture] 

  Snack : Always a party at Larry's. Lots and lots of ladies.

  Larry : [slaps forehead in frustration] 

  Snack : Some say they were only there for the 'nip. But hey, at least they were there. Does this ring any bells?

  [starts to spin on his head] 

  Snack : Whoooooooooooooo!

  Larry : [stops Snack's spinning with his hand] 

  Larry : [to Kate]  Heh. He's not doing it right.

• Gifted & Talented program Choir : Bring out the copper kettle, bring out the copper kettle. Take my hand in the feild, my love. Bring out the copper kettle. The copper in the kettle and the kettle in the copper, copper in the kettle in the kettle in the copper... copper.

  Martha the Lion : That was "Copper Kettle"

  Larry : Really?

• Kate : That isnt funny, young lady! We were very very furried about you!... Hey, Lar, check it out. I Just said "furried" instead of "worried".

  Larry : Furried, that's awesome... Who are you?

• Larry : [while on catnip]  Hey, I Know You! Copper Kettle! Co-Opper Kettle! Co-PPER KETTLE!

• Larry : [Over PA at the Rave]  Excuse me, I'm looking for my daughter. Do any of you go to school with my daughter?

  Raver : No.

  Larry : Sweetheart, it's ok. We love you.

  Flamingo Girl : [rushes from offscreen]  I love you too daddy!

  [lands in Larry's arms] 

  Flamingo Girl : I don't want to live with mom anymore!

  [starts bawling loudly] 

  Larry : Um... ok.

  [moves the flamingo over to a speaker] 

  Flamingo Girl : [embraces speaker]  I love you speaker!

  [continues bawling]