The Longest Yard (2005)
Bob Sapp: Switowski
Photos
Quotes
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Switowski : He broke-ded my nose
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : Let me try to fix that.
[Crewe fixes his nose]
Switowski : How do I look?
Caretaker : Much better, like a young Michael Jackson.
Switowski : I love little Michael.
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Switowski : Will you teach me to football?
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : Sure, I'll teach you to football.
Caretaker : I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me.
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Guard Dunham : [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!
Earl Megget : Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!
Guard Dunham : Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?
Earl Megget : Switowski! Come here!
[he comes running over]
Earl Megget : You know what he said in the library?
[whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]
Earl Megget : Yes. Him. Out!
Switowski : [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.
Coach Nate Scarborough : I think he just shit himself.
All Sportswriters : I think he just shit himself.
Stretcher Guy : Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!
Switowski : [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!
Earl Megget : [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!
Deacon Moss : And some diapers!
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Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : [drinking a toast with Caretaker] Here's to the first friend I've had in I-don't-know-how-long
Switowski : I thought I was your friend, Paul.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : You are my friend, Switowski. Just finish your coloring book and go to sleep.
Switowski : OK.
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Switowski : [after Turley breaks his nose] I think he did it on purpose!
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : No, he didn't do it on puropse...
[glances over at Turley]
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : Okay maybe he did.
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Switowski : I'm sorry... I brokeded your toy.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : Oh, no, it's a good thing! you should share a victory hug with Caretaker.
Caretaker : What?
[Switowski lifts Caretaker in bear-hug and spins around laughing]
Caretaker : [to Paul] Asshole!
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Switowski : I thought I was your friend, Paul.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : You are my friend, Switowski, just, finish your coloring book and go to sleep.
Switowski : OK.