Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2002 Video Game)
Ray Liotta: Tommy Vercetti
Photos
Quotes
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[Stealing a pedestrian's Car]
Tommy Vercetti : You've got insurance, so don't be a prick.
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Tommy Vercetti : This is the last dance for Lance Vance!
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Tommy Vercetti : You took fifteen years from me, Sonny, and now I'm gonna make you pay!
Sonny Forelli : You still don't get it, do you? I *own* you, Tommy. Those fifteen years were mine to spend!
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Tommy Vercetti : Who does this guy think he is? Now I gotta dress like a chump as well as hang out with him? I like this shirt.
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Umberto Robina : Hey if Leo knows you've got his phone he'll kill you.
Tommy Vercetti : Maybe Leo's already dead. Maybe I killed Leo and took his phone. You ever think of that, prick?
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Tommy Vercetti : You Kent Paul? I'm a friend of Rosenberg.
Kent Paul : Rosenberg... Rosenberg... Oh, that bonkers ambulence chaser! That guy could defend an innocent man all the way to Death Row!
[laughs]
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[Tommy has killed a lot pedestrians]
Tommy Vercetti : Remember the name! Tommy Vercetti!
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Ken Rosenberg : What the hell are we gonna do?
Tommy Vercetti : Shut up, sit down. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. You're gonna find out who took our cocaine, and then, I'm gonna kill them.
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Tommy Vercetti : Ok guys. Calm down, I'll handle this. Normally I wouldn't busy myself with driving around a bunch of drunken Scottish bisexuals, but in YOUR case, I'll make an exception!
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Sonny Forelli : Hey Tommy, it's Sonny. How's the suntan?
Tommy Vercetti : I ain't got no suntan.
Sonny Forelli : Well, you ain't got my money either, so I'm thinking to myself 'what're you doing?'. So tell me, Tommy, what ARE you doing?
Tommy Vercetti : I'm looking for the money, Sonny. Don't worry.
Sonny Forelli : I AM worrying, Tommy. That's my style because I seem to have this problem in my life with unreliable people. Don't be an unreliable person, Tommy, please.
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Tommy Vercetti : [carjacking] You gonna cry now?
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Tommy Vercetti : There goes my careful planning, all blown to hell. Thanks to you. You screwed up real good, Lance.
Lance Vance : He killed my brother. What did you expect me to do? Mow his lawns?
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[after killing a pedestrian]
Tommy Vercetti : You can blame my mother. I do.
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Tommy Vercetti : Sonny, you have my personal assurance that I'm gonna get you your money back, and the drugs, and I'm gonna mail you the dicks of those responsible.
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Tommy Vercetti : I did your wife, you poor bastard.
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[Stealing a car]
Tommy Vercetti : Just think of this as socialism in action.
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[Tommy Vercetti and Lance Vance impersonating cops]
Tommy Vercetti : Remember, smile at the other cops.
Lance Vance : Hey there, officer. Nice badge, nice badge.
Tommy Vercetti : Real smooth, Lance.
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Ken Rosenberg : Hey, hey Tommy, Tommy, look, I had this mini-bar installed.
Tommy Vercetti : We got a whole bar downstairs, Ken.
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Umberto Robina : You do this for me, and I take care of you. Like my brother. Like my son.
Tommy Vercetti : I think I prefer the cash to being bounced on your knee, amigo.
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Tommy Vercetti : One thing's puzzling me. What's with 'Quentin'?
Lance Vance : I dunno, I always kinda liked it: Quentin Vance.
Tommy Vercetti : Vance? Your name's Lance Vance?
Lance Vance : Hey, I got enough of that at school.
Tommy Vercetti : Lance Vance. Poor bastard.
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Tommy Vercetti : You Cam Jones?
Cam Jones : Yeah, that's me.
Tommy Vercetti : I'm busting you out.
Cam Jones : Whatever you say.
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Ricardo Diaz : Ok, listen up, dickhead. You work for me now.
Tommy Vercetti : I work for money.
Ricardo Diaz : As I said, amigo, you work for me now.
Tommy Vercetti : I work for...
Ricardo Diaz : SHUT UP!
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Tommy Vercetti : I'm looking for a shooter for a job I'm pulling. From the setup here, I'm not too impressed.
Phil Cassidy : Son, I could shoot a fly off your head at a hundred feet.
Tommy Vercetti : Really?
Phil Cassidy : Yeah, I learnt it in the army.
Tommy Vercetti : Fly shooting popular in the army? Glad I don't pay tax.
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[after hitting another car]
Tommy Vercetti : I hope you got whiplash!
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Sonny Forelli : So Tommy, what was the big plan? You think I was gonna take the fake cash, save face, and walk away with my tail between my legs?
Tommy Vercetti : No. I just wanted to piss you off before I killed you.
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Tommy Vercetti : What did I do wrong in a past life?
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Ken Rosenberg : Hey Tommy, I got you that chalkboard you wanted.
Tommy Vercetti : Ah, the benefits of a law school education: the ability to follow instructions.
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Tommy Vercetti : The last thing I needed was this. Maybe the last thing I needed was an enema, but this comes close.
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[planning a bank robbery]
Tommy Vercetti : So we'll have Cam on safe, me and Phil will handle security and Hilary will be our driver.
Ken Rosenberg : What about me? The person who brought you here, the person who has helped you to no end in this town?
Tommy Vercetti : Oh, yeah, Ken. Ken here; he washes the money for us... and he keeps the drinks on ice!
Phil Cassidy : Haha, YEAH!
Hilary King : I don't really know what I'm supposed to do here...
Tommy Vercetti : Look, it'll be easy, haven't you ever seen a movie? We walk into the bank, wave the guns around... and leave very rich men.
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[planning a bank robbery]
Tommy Vercetti : As you can see, gentlemen... this is going to be the easiest buck we ever made.
Ken Rosenberg : Tommy, seriously, you should consider going into law!
Phil Cassidy : [sighs] What the hell are you smoking, man? This ain't no simple plan. Then again, who needs a simple plan? Look at communism, that was a simple plan... didn't do Russia any favors, huh?
Tommy Vercetti : Calm down, all right? With a team like this it's gonna be no problem. We got Cam on safe. Phil, you and me will handle security. And Hilary will drive the getaway car.
Ken Rosenberg : Uh, aren't you forgetting somebody? Somebody who helped you to no END in this town? Somebody who...
Tommy Vercetti : Ken, Ken... that's right... Ken here, he washes the money for us.
[laughs]
Tommy Vercetti : And he keeps the drinks on ice!
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Kent Paul : Awright, me ol' china, how's it hangin'?
Tommy Vercetti : What do you know about counterfeiting?
Kent Paul : [sarcastic] "Oh, I'm fine, Paul, how about you?"
Tommy Vercetti : [grabs Paul and slams him on the counter] Come 'ere!
Kent Paul : Awright, awright, awright! You're obviously a busy man!
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Lance Vance : So Tommy, it's obvious that Diaz is the one who busted our deal, so why in the hell are we still running errands for him?
Tommy Vercetti : The more we learn now, the less we'll have to learn when we take this town over.
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Ricardo Diaz : [to his VCR] Eject!
[shouts]
Ricardo Diaz : Plastic crap! You doing this to me? Who do you think you are, you piece of plastic *shit*? Aaarrgh!
[shoots the VCR]
Ricardo Diaz : [shouts] Screw you!
[Tommy walks in]
Ricardo Diaz : It eats my favorite El Burro movie, it die! What else could I do?
Tommy Vercetti : It's probably not plugged in.
Ricardo Diaz : What?
[Tommy checks, and shows Diaz the unplugged VCR]
Ricardo Diaz : Damn... no matter, I can buy a hundred more.
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[last lines]
Tommy Vercetti : You know Ken, this could be the beginning of a beautiful business relationship. I mean you're a conniving, back-stabbing, two-bit thief; and I'm a convicted, psychotic killer and drug dealer!
Ken Rosenberg : I know. Ain't it just beautiful?
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[while running from the VCPD]
Tommy Vercetti : You look like the other guys.
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[while running from the VCPD]
Tommy Vercetti : Call my lawyer, Rosenberg.
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[while running from the VCPD]
Tommy Vercetti : I've heard it all before, pal.
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Tommy Vercetti : [chased by police] Go shower with the guys!
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Tommy Vercetti : [chased by police] You guys ever catch any criminals?
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Tommy Vercetti : [crashes his car] Good thing I don't own this piece of crap.
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Mercedes Cortez : Will you be working for for my father?
Tommy Vercetti : Maybe.
Mercedes Cortez : Do you mind me resting my hand on your lap?
Tommy Vercetti : ...Maybe.
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[to Steve Scott]
Tommy Vercetti : What did I tell you before? NO GIANT SHARKS.
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Lance Vance : [after returning to Diaz with coke] Good shooting, my friend. You're a real, proper, grade A, lunitic.
Tommy Vercetti : Well, thank you.
Lance Vance : See you around, Tommy.
Tommy Vercetti : Ok, Mr. Lance Vance Dance.
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Ken Rosenberg : I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin' second, and fate shovels shit in my face!
Tommy Vercetti : Go get some sleep.
Ken Rosenberg : What are you gotta do?
Tommy Vercetti : I'll drop by your office tomorrow and we can start sorting this mess out.
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Tommy Vercetti : Never forget the Second Amendment, asshole!
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Tommy Vercetti : Is this some bizarre mating ritual?
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Tommy Vercetti : [while stealing a car]
[acting like he's crying]
Tommy Vercetti : Look! I'm feeling bad about it already!
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[after hitting another car]
Tommy Vercetti : OW! You hit me!
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[after nearly getting killed by an explosion]
Phil Cassidy : Never get a naked flame too close to one of Phil Cassidy's boomshine stills!
Tommy Vercetti : Shit. Phil, you drink that stuff?
Phil Cassidy : Hell. You don't have to drink it. Just a good whiff'll set ya off.
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[on the way to rob a bank]
Cam Jones : Tommy! Hilary is taking up too much room!
Hilary King : I am not!
Hilary King : Are too!
Tommy Vercetti : Hey! Shut up, you two, or you can get out and walk!
Cam Jones : Yeah! HILARY!
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Earnest Kelly : Mr. Vercetti? Hey. You bought the old Print Works?
Tommy Vercetti : Yeah my old man used to work on these. I used to spend the evenings with him cleaning the rollers. I was gonna follow him in his trade... but I lived a different life.
Earnest Kelly : You planning on selling the old machinery? Breaking it down?
Tommy Vercetti : I'm thinking we might print something. A newspaper, a magazine...
Earnest Kelly : Oh crap, sonny, low-grade crap. I always fancied printing money!
Tommy Vercetti : Really...?
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Lance Vance : Oh, way to go, tough guy. Beat 'em to a pulp. That should make him real chatty.
Tommy Vercetti : You want some too?
Lance Vance : Hey, chill. I want what you want, brother.
Tommy Vercetti : Oh, yeah? And what's that?
Lance Vance : Your green, and my dead brother's white lady. Unfortunately, you just silenced our lead.
Tommy Vercetti : Accidents happen. Get lost.
Lance Vance : Hey, hey, whoa. No need to go all 'Lone Ranger' on my ass. The way I see it, we two hombres in a strange town. We need to watch each other's back.
Tommy Vercetti : My back's just fine, brother.
Lance Vance : You sure about that? Here, take this. Follow me.
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[after killing a pedestrian]
Tommy Vercetti : They named ya, pal!
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Umberto Robina : Anyway, I wanted to tell you, me and Papi, to us, you Cuban. You have proved yourself, man. You got big cojones.
Tommy Vercetti : Well thank you, Umberto. Nobody's said that to me since I left jail.
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Phil Cassidy : Hilary has abandonment issues. Something about his momma.
Tommy Vercetti : Abandonment issues? What a freak. Why can't I meet someone that's normal for a change?
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[chased by cops]
Tommy Vercetti : I'm innocent!
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Umberto Robina : Are you playing stupid with me?
Tommy Vercetti : No, I think you're playing plenty stupid enough for both of us.
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Ken Rosenberg : Ah, Tommy, this place looks too new. We need to redecorate, I can't stand this look!
Tommy Vercetti : You're my lawyer, Rosenberg. Not my interior decorator.
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[after arming a bomb]
Tommy Vercetti : Okay, timers are set, five seconds and counting.
Lance Vance : Five seconds? We gotta get the hell out of here!