Sledge Hammer! (1986–1988)
David Rasche: Sledge Hammer
Photos
Quotes
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[repeated line]
Sledge Hammer : Trust me - I know what I'm doing!
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Sledge Hammer : Every breath you take, every move you make... I'll be watching you. That's police talk.
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Captain Trunk : [Trunk watches Hammer attach something to the barrel of his gun] Is that a silencer?
Sledge Hammer : No, it's not a silencer. This little doodad is my own invention. I call it a loudener.
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Thug : Drop your gun and kick it over here.
[Sledge puts the gun down]
Thug : I said kick it over here.
Sledge Hammer : Forget it, Slimeball. I never kick a friend when he's down.
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Sledge Hammer : You've never played target practice?
Soviet Scientist : In Russia, we practice by shooting dissidents.
Sledge Hammer : Here we call them liberals.
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Sledge Hammer : [to reporter] I would like to address that particular stereotype if I may. Now, your stereotypical donut is nothing but dough and sugar fried in fat, am I right? Now that fat gums up your arteries and goes to your brain, and you turn liberal. And the next thing you know, Barry Manilow is on the turn-table and you're not going to work and you're voting for gun control. You see what I'm saying? You see the connection? That's why I eat granola.
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Sledge Hammer : When am I on?
Dori : You follow a guy from Dallas & precede a guy from Miami.
Sledge Hammer : Between Dallas & Miami... what a terrible place to be!
[in reference to the show's no-win timeslot opposite both 'Dallas' & 'Miami Vice']
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Dori : I've got an idea.
Sledge Hammer : Now you're thinking like a man!
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Dori : Guns don't kill people...
Sledge Hammer : Yeah, bullets do.
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Sledge Hammer : Now you've gone and done it. You just broke a family heirloom. That lamp had great sentimental value. It accidentally electrocuted my grandfather.
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Cliff : *You're* with the police department?
Sledge Hammer : No no no. No, I *am* the police department.
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Sledge Hammer : That's what I like about you Doreau, you think like a man.
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Captain Trunk : [to terrorist] Alright! Your show's been cancelled!
Sledge Hammer : You talking to me?
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Sledge Hammer : All cops face violence. The ones who can't deal with it crack. The ones who do, teach.
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Dori : [at Sledge pulling out a gun on some drunk in a bar] Sledge, you can't solve everything with a gun!
Sledge Hammer : [looking at her slightly puzzled] I know, but I left bazooka in my car.
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Dori : Sorry to interrupt you, Captain.
Sledge Hammer : Just wanted to cheer you up.
Captain Trunk : That's impossible. This is the worst day of my life.
Sledge Hammer : Now you see right there, you're wrong. You've said many times that the worst day of your life was the day I joined the force.
[Trunk looks at Hammer]
Sledge Hammer : Now you feel better?
Captain Trunk : Yes.
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Sledge Hammer : Any calls?
Dori : Three. Two wrong numbers and an offer to cater a Bar Mitzvah. I told them 'no,' 'no,' and 'maybe.'
Sledge Hammer : [Notices that Doreau is sporting a Veronica Lake hairstyle] New hairdo?
Dori : Yes. This is what happens when I can't afford my regular hairdresser.
Sledge Hammer : Just remember, if you don't look good, we don't look good. Nice outfit; now that the first time you look like a real... girl.
Dori : Yeah, if I don't get my hair fixed, I'll need a guide dog.
[Blows her hair off her face]
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Sledge Hammer : You know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to stick your head in that microwave and set it on "sandwich."
Dori : Hammer, you can't do that!
Sledge Hammer : What? There's no setting for sandwich?
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Sledge Hammer : Don't ever touch my hand when I'm going for my gun!
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Suzi Swallow : Inspector Hammer, do you have a prediction?
Sledge Hammer : Yes. The first brain-transplant will be performed & YOU will be the reciprient.
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Dori : I had a pervert call me once.
Sledge Hammer : Oh, how'd you get him to stop? Change your number?
Dori : No, I stopped dating him.
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Sledge Hammer : Now where am I on this lineup?
Dori : You're following a guy from Dallas and preceeding somebody from Miami.
Sledge Hammer : Between Dallas and Miami? What terrible place would it be?