Floated2 Reviews

Arcadian (2024)

Rather leaky family apocalyptic film

[4/10 · 6 June 2024]

Nicolas Cage's latest film sees him on the cover of this near futuristic family apocalyptic thriller. Although he is top billing, his character feels more supporting to his teenage son Thomas.

Arcadian does certain things well such as the design of the monster looks very creative and is intimidating. A problem is the camera work once we see the monster is rather shaky and the color scheme looks slightly dark to see a full glimpse of these creatures. This film resembles somewhat like a Quiet Place mixed with several teenage fantasy novels.

The characters don't stand out enough. Nothing is very memorable and the film for the most part is rather bland. Also we don't get an explanation as to why and where these monsters came from. The plot and story feels like something we have seen many times before, with minor tweaks.

Looking Glass (I) (2018)

Left with several unanswered questions

[5/10 · 6 June 2024]

Described as a thriller mystery, this appears to be a film in which the writers wanted people to have different interpretations and to have questions open ended.

It starts off relatively slow but it's to build the characters and set the tone. Once Nicolas Cage gets in the new place, we notice each character is quite bizarre as it feels like everyone is scheming or just acting particularly strange. Conversations are quite brief with a lot of silence in between.

From the obvious sketchy sheriff Ray to the older truck driver, to the escort woman, and even the wife (whom acted quite bizarrely at times and didn't seem very supportive towards Cage). At a point she blatantly accuses Cage of something and comes off as incredibly insecure. Not too sure if it's bad acting or bad writing but the wife was just bizarre. At a point we thought maybe she was even in on it, but that wasn't the case.

The very ending felt quite rushed. We were waiting for a great reveal but what was revealed with the sheriff was essentially what everyone already figured. So it turned out that he himself didn't know about the mirror behind that room.

For spoilers there was a lot of unanswered things which were selling plot points but we didn't exactly get answers. First, who was the masked killer who killed the blonde first guest woman at the beginning? Are we to assume it was the sheriff? Secondly, who threw the dead pig in the pool? Also what was the result with the Chrissy girl who died? Why was that not cleared up? Then who threw the red paint on the gates? Were we to assume this from the creepy young men at the gas station? Same with the pig prank? Who killed Ben at the desert and why? Also why didn't they also shoot Nic Cage? It couldn't have been the sheriff since he was back at the motel kidnapping Cage's wife. Why was the sheriff so eager wanting to speak with Ben? Lastly if no guests really knew the secret behind that guest room (room 10), why were many of them wanting it?

The film is still relatively intriguing for these reasons but the end wasn't exactly great and neither the payoff considering things weren't fully clear.

Kill Chain (2019)

Different attempt at an action thriller

[6/10 · 5 June 2024]

Starring very much Nicolas Cage in a serious hitman, assassin type action thriller which mainly takes place at a near abandon hotel.

This film does have quite a slow and bizarre start. It starts off with two unknown men going into a hotel then we see Nicolas Cage appear and they start talking. Quickly after, we get the opening credits and after it almost suddenly feels like a different movie (which is apparent because once you get to the ending you'll see it's told out of order- meaning the opening scene actually occurs in the end, and it'll make sense once you reach the end).

Reviews mention that Cage isn't very present much in this film because he is quite absent for roughly the next 35 minutes straight. A lot of it could have been cut down because it does drag on slightly and is somewhat confusing. During this time we get an older sniper character hiding and two officers driving around. It is somewhat confusing and boring but things do unfold. Also the introduction to the female lead is great as she is the highlight of the film (very solid performance).

Cage enters again around the 46 minute mark and from there we get further progression. Things start to unfold with its plot and new elements emerge. It is rather different but interesting following along. People may dislike the film since it's not a straight action shootout film and it does take place relatively in one location. Although the ending is somewhat predictable, it's not bad. This is a serviceable watchable thriller when not expecting too much.

The Humanity Bureau (2017)

Overly serious and not greatly executed

[2/10 · 4 June 2024]

Released in 2017, before the resurgence of Nicolas Cage's comeback where he would star in several critical acclaimed horror thriller types. The Humanity Bureau is a straight to video sci-fi film taken place in the distant future and the overall feel of the film is rather tame.

The tone felt a little too serious though the villain acted slightly campy. A majority of the film is quite boring and slow. The action sequences are far in between. A lot of the main focus was surprisingly on the kid, who instantly came off as irritating.

The ending feels very rushed and wasn't exactly a happy ending. We wonder why this is how it ended, as it felt like a complete waste. Overall very forgettable film where nothing really stood out.

Debbie Does Dallas (1978)

Coherent plot lost in adult film

[5/10 · 4 June 2024]

Apparently this was one of the more renowned and more successful adult films. This film seemed to spark controversy from its blatant clickbait title and other little things surrounding it.

Its plot is quite simple but in a way realistic. About a group of high school cheerleaders needing enough money to fund for a trip to Dallas for lead Debbie having being accepted as the Texans cheerleader. Of course these women find it easier in making money by doing "favors" to their local store owners, library professors and car owners.

The attraction is obviously lead Bambi Woods playing a very ditsy yet likeable character. The film is quite cheesy and corny but it's obviously the sex scenes which would get the audience.

However at times, the film does play more like a sex teen comedy rather than an adult film where the plot outshines the sex acts which contrary to popular belief is actually a good thing (simply because it distinguishes itself from strictly an adult film).

As previously mentioned there are a total of quite seven explicit scenes (ranging from brief two minutes to lengthier eleven minutes). Highlight scenes are the opening shower locker room scene (10:40- 20:50), the car wash scene with the two girls and car owner husband (40:00 - 48:20), the brief tennis sauna scene with the one girl- apparently saying she was 16 and two guys (1:01:05- 1:03:15), the cd store featuring two girls and the one guy- could have been reduced (1:06:15- 1:10:35), and the finale and possibly best and longest scene with Debbie and the sports store owner (1:12:10- 1:23:10).

We see the appeal of the film, it's not great, is watchable but because of the infamous scenes people remember, they may overrate it and consider it better than it actually is.

The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless (2001 Video)

More of the same with a different cast

[4/10 · 3 June 2024]

Essentially if you have seen the beloved critical acclaimed cult classic of the original film, you would know about what to expect from this follow up.

The Bare Wench Project 2: Book of Babes (or titled "Scared Topless") offers a different cast this time around. There are six main women as opposed to four seen in the original, so there is less focus to delve into each one. Though still lead by Nikki Fritz and their bodyguard/ tour guide Lunk is present again. Besides Nikki, other main woman is Sam (whom comes off instantly irritating with her husky- like voice, constant nagging and she seemed to try and be the leader of the group).

There is more emphasis on plot dealing with Nikki and these women going in the woods trying to find her sister. Essentially more of the same things occur in this film such as the women taking turns stripping one by one in front of a bonfire with music playing in the background (this lasts nearly five mins- 35:42- 40:30).

The other highlight is again the appearance by the nude blonde Bare Wench woman randomly appearing dancing with two other women joining (also lasts a little over five mins- 45:05- 50:40).

Few scenes later in a filler scene we see the women seemingly possessed wondering into a lake stripping covering chocolate syrup on themselves (56:25). The very end concludes with Lunk randomly finding and appearing in a UFO then bringing the women up to him.

Overall this a film simply not to take serious or to look too deep into. And it might be better than the original.

Horny Teenagers Must Die! (2024)

Fairly generic teen cabin slasher film

[3/10 · 2 June 2024]

Given it's title, this is most certainly a way to garner people's attention. Not as eye catching as 2016's cult classic "Don't F-k in the Woods" but it's something.

However as a film it is the standard but more modern version of throwback 1980's teen cabin in the woods slasher films. First the acting isn't great and highly overacted by a majority of them, with their deliveries tittering from unintentionally comical to just unconvincing.

The characters are nothing special (most annoying) but they do try and give some of them some background story (ex. Girlfriend not fully faithful, a couple "expecting"). There's also another character which seemed to get bullied by everyone as it made us wonder why they even invited him/her along.

As with these type of films, there are several brief scenes of explicit skin scattered throughout. The kills are standard with the killer using knives to stab, swords to slash heads off, eye gauges with a rake and even an adult toy shoved down a character's throat. These kills are very split second quick and the camera zooms in on the kills ensuring not to show the killer, but their hands.

The film just isn't anything special but it does get better in the latter half when the kills ramp up. It's one of those "one by one each character dies" type of film. Also there's a very predictable twist in the end regarding who the killer is. There are clues at the beginning which ultimately make it slightly obvious. Perhaps the best part of this film is figuring out who the killer is and how the reveal will unfold.

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

Over the top gross out humor doesn't run on laughs

[2/10 · 2 June 2024]

Being familiar with Troma and their brand of comedies. Understand just about the type of comedy film to expect. However this film was worse than expected.

Right from the start we get over the top acting, a slew of random musicals within the first 40 minutes or so (including a hallucination all out nude around 28 mins) and a ton of gross out toilet gags with constant vomiting, and toilet explosion. Characters trying too hard in being funny where things fell flat.

The lead character really wasn't funny in the slightest as he tried too hard for laughs, and in the end cane across as far more dumb than he should've been. From the fourth wall breaking to his mannerism, to the random nonsense musical numbers. All of it forced and tiresome.

The second half of the film taken place inside the chicken restaurant just becomes a gross out gore fest. Featuring mutated chicken zombie people, more vomiting, more blood and more stereotypical and racist gags. The problem isn't that we were offended or not understanding of the jokes. They were just simply not funny and were too cringe, corny, random and forced. Definitely is a film that went all out for the sake of. No doubt there is an audience for these type of films but the end result left a very annoyed and disgusted taste. Would not recommend.

Angel Guts: Red Classroom (1979)

Slower paced drama differentiates itself from the original

[5/10 · 1 June 2024]

Apparently this was the second film in the well beloved gritty crime drama Angel Guts franchise. This follow up only one year after the original. Titled Red Classroom does have a different feel. The acting is on par, if not better. The camera work looks better as does the scenery (perhaps the budget was bigger- many scenes showcases brighter colors).

Seemingly the lead character of Nami is played by a different actress here (she looks more polished and authentic than the actress in the original). Apparently each film in the series has the same character of "Nami Tsuchiya" but is played by a different actress.

Red Classroom begins with a group of men watching some sort of video showing a young woman being raped by three other students in a classroom. One of the men watching the video (an editor of an adult magazine company) seemed to be interested in the actress in the video and thus demanded in finding out more info on this actress. Later on he eventually finds her and soon she reveals that the video was perhaps real.

Aside from that brief rape scene this film is a lot more tame but includes several explicit scenes showing skin. One notable is Nami picking up a random man at a bar and the scene last roughly over ten minutes (around 44:45 - 55:50). Quite graphic with different angles and several brief pauses.

This film seemed to have more of a story but felt slightly more boring and more like a typical romance love story. Within the final 30 minutes there seemed to be an insert showing "3 years later". We then see Nami working at a bar and the editor from the beginning seeing her for the first time since then in shock (saying how he tried finding her all these years despite him being married and having a young child).

Overall this film does spark some initial interest but falls flat towards the end. Somewhat repetitive in the end.

Angel Guts: High School Coed (1978)

Rather disturbing manga adaptation start

[6/10 · 1 June 2024]

Tells the story of three bike riders whom seem to spend their time riding, laughing, paying their dues to the jakuza and seeking out to rape young women victims. At least two, lead by Kawashima (black helmet) and Kaji (orange helmet). There seemed to be a hint that the other one Sada (sunglasses) wasn't interested in women.

Even though the film is well shot, with believable dialogue and is fast moving. It really does start off right away. We see within the first five minutes these bikers make their first attempted rape on a young woman Nami (she was a passenger in a bright vehicle passing by). Of course they stopped the vehicle with their bikes and threw the driver out.

Another quite disturbing somewhat climax is the further rape scene once again with this woman but this time she was fleeing but was soon stopped in the rain by the railroad's (around the 39 minute mark). There seemed to be soothing music playing throughout which was odd.

The main subplot though reflects with the lead biker protecting his younger sister Megu. Within with an hour she gets attempted raped by one of his friends (Kaji) yet she never tells her brother (which was bizarre). The final twenty minutes feels rather slowed down as we are watching the brother trying to figure what happened. The very ending wasn't very good either as none of these characters really got what they deserved. As a film it is intended in being disturbing with its nature due to its somewhat realism and not for everyone.

Mandy (I) (2018)

Heavily gory but too slow moving

[3/10 · 31 May 2024]

Apparently Mandy had been considered a cult classic since its release and seems to be the very definition of either "you like it or you hate it". It is creative, and entirely a different atmospheric film.

However as a film it is confusing to follow along, moves at a slow pace, the dialogue is at times very difficult in hearing and there is apparently a lot of significance to certain things. The first 45 minutes or so is too slow and feels quite unnecessary at times. Of course it does better afterwards and becomes weirder but more entertaining.

One of the highlights is the near end chainsaw fight scene with Nic Cage's character and the villain. Visually stunning filmed and the camera work is great. Highly gory but thrilling to watch.

Perhaps one of Nic Cage's best roles but overall the film's plot just isn't as interesting and is hard to keep up on.

The title character of Mandy just isn't intriguing at all and somewhat drowns the film. Cage is the clear standout.

Hate to say it but this film is quite overrated. Perhaps this is a film which may be found better on a second viewing.

Color Out of Space (2019)

Colorful and stylish sci- fi horror

[8/10 · 30 May 2024]

What seemingly starts off like a calming family drama in the nice outdoors, ends as a colourful and quite graphic alien creature infested type horror sci-fi thriller.

The beginning is told and is gripping in a way that we know there will be a slow build. Introduced with the daughter to start the film, there is a strong intrigued in the first opening minutes. It's open for interpretation but we get the sense that she is quite bizarre (and interesting) then once the rest of the family is introduced, we begin thinking this film will eventually turn into a weird bizarre family dynamic.

The visuals are stunning with its bright pink, magenta and purple schemes, as it plays a major part of the film.

Things truly get twisted around the 1:09:30 mark when the bright alien space light seemingly mutates the mother and son together. From that point on, the film transforms for the better and becomes highly engaging. We are intrigued to see what occurs next and see eventually what the cause of it was.

The outsider character of Ward was very much going to be the hero (great foreshadowing in the opening scene- we knew his role would be of importance). Another highlight is Tommy Chong's character of Ezra, portraying a very strung out elder man acting like a prophet of all.

This is a film which seemingly has different interpretations and is smarter than initially thought to be. Those who may not like it may have been expecting either something with more action and sci-fi and perhaps less horror and disturbing bits.

Overall Color Out of Space has a lot to enjoy from the performances to the visuals to the overall atmosphere.

The Frozen Ground (2013)

Gritty true based thriller

[7/10 · 30 May 2024]

Apparently this is based on true events which occurred during the 1970's and 1980's. With no knowledge of the true based aspect, the film is quite a brutal, gripping and thought defining thriller. The acting is great lead by Nicolas Cage (in a more subtle serious non overacting type role), while John Cusack plays the serial killer and Vanessa Hudgens plays the main victim (perhaps one of her best roles).

The film stands out due to its scenery. These thrillers are very much similar but this differentiates itself by taking place in Alaska with heavy snow. Parts get repetitive with Cage walking in strip club looking for the woman.

There are several creative and clever plotting with the villain but some feel rather generic. Some may say this was heavily inspired by tv series True Detective (released in 2014- one year before The Frozen Ground).

The Faculty (1998)

Somewhat predictable alien invasion film

[5/10 · 30 May 2024]

On the surface, the Faculty may be described differently depending on the person. It seems to mix and blend several different genres and seems to take bits and pieces of previous films to make this one. It's a teen film dealing with alien body switching with slight horror elements coming in one. It is relatively interesting and it features several pre-famed actors and actresses.

Although the way things unfold is quite predictable. Right from the introduction we get a sense that one key character is the one plotting everything. From their motions to their speech to their constant wanting to be accepted and friendly of a character.

The design of the aliens is nice looking and seeing how they get defeated was swell.

Wicker Park (2004)

Unhinged thought provoking mystery romance

[8/10 · 30 May 2024]

The film asks several key questions regarding meeting by chance and love by first sight about being in the right situations. As watching, we can get a proper sense that there would be some sort of twist or turn in the latter portion of the film.

The writing is creative and the way the story is told in a non linear fashion with its flashbacks, scene jumps and other techniques makes the film a lot more intriguing. It is slightly hard to follow at first but it makes it worthwhile once the pieces start to get pieced together.

Because of the several starting scenes we think that Diane Kruger (Lisa) isn't faithful, is lying and an overall bad person while once Rose Byrne (Alex) is brought in, we think more highly of her and she's honest. But as it turned out, it was the opposite. The film really does get to its high points from Byrne's introduction and from there the film picks up heavily and becomes instantly gripping.

Much more creative and thought provoking than initially thought of. At certain parts, we ask ourselves "who is scheming who?" Regarding Josh Hartnett (Matt), Alex and Lisa.

However given its writing. The ending of the movie may be regarded as cliché. The typical running through the airport, looking for the love of their life. It works here and doesn't feel entirely forced. However we feel the worst about Jessica Paré (Rebecca) because everything went wrong for her and we didn't exactly see a backstory about her. Perhaps she wasn't as good of a person as portrayed to be.

Wicker Park is another film heavily divided by critics and audience members. For some reason its critics rating is far worse than the rating of its audience. Perhaps due to the fact this film is a remake of a beloved foreign film. We know how much critics compare remakes to the originals and how more critical they are of those remakes nitpicking every little detail.

Watch this film with an open mind and it may surprise you for the better.

Black Christmas (2006)

Mildly entertaining but overall nothing special

[6/10 · 29 May 2024]

Having not seen the original 1974 version, viewing this as its standalone. The plot is relatively simple but there are key details which may get lost or confused if not fully paying attention. Several flashback scenes are quite important as they provide context.

The film starts off slowly and many of the flashbacks aren't too interesting to a degree. Lead Jessi (Katie Cassidy- whom is clearly the lead) while there wasn't as much focus or character development on the other sorority girls- which feels like a wasted opportunity. Although many of them are rather dull and it was difficult in remembering all their names.

The film picks up and becomes more engaging once the killings start and around the time the character of Leigh is brought up. There are some graphic kills (stabs to the head with Christmas ornaments), and a heavy load of eye gauges (lot of disturbing visuals of the victims with their eyes taken out).

Nothing is too suspenseful or too heavy on the jump scares. Save for an unexpected jump scare in the end at the hospital involving the killer and the lead. The slasher aspect is something which has been done before but it's still entertaining enough to a degree.

The villains here are perhaps the weakest part and we don't get as to how they were able to get away with everything. At certain parts it seemed like the sorority girls could have killed him. Otherwise this film is solid enough depending on what you expect. Considering it's a remake, a lot of the criticism possibly comes from it not being as good as the original.

The Killer Inside Me (2010)

Graphic slow moving burner

[4/10 · 29 May 2024]

The plot description is simple and just about exactly as one would expect. The acting from lead Casey Affleck is solid while the supporting cast are just there. The film moves at a slow pace and there really isn't much suspense or mystery. We as the audience are aware that he's the killer, it's just the characters trying to pin point and figure everything out. Somewhat too many unnecessary explicit scenes which are relatively brief but are scattered throughout. Also several quite graphic violence scenes.

The ending reveal where the rest of the characters are all in the room and discover he's the killer wasn't as gripping as it should have been. Jessica Alba's reappearing was a surprise considering it seemed like she was completely dead. How did she survive the violent graphic beatings from previous? Overall this film just moves too slowly and the story just isn't that gripping. There are several better films of this genre type.

The Spirit (2008)

Visually pleasing but story wise doesn't excel

[3/10 · 29 May 2024]

Very much criticism of this film had to deal with its plot and story line. It's clear it was heavily inspired by Sin City, as well as other previous films before it such as 300 and even Batman Begins (lead character is very reminiscent of Bruce Wayne).

As noted, the cinematography and graphics were pretty much a carbon copy of Sin City.

The origin backstory of The Spirit seems something which could have been interesting given Eva Mendes character of their past but its execution wasn't great. Everything came about predictable.

Samuel L. Jackson's villain The Octopus was entirely too over the top, making it hard to take serious.

Of course one of the highlights were the eye candy of actresses featured.

The ending final showdown with Octopus, Sand Serif (Mendes), Floss (Scarlett Johansson), and the Spirit unfolded predictably, was mildly entertaining. Earlier parts of the film is just boring and there just wasn't much suspense or mystery.

Strawberry Mansion (2021)

Bizarre dream like imagining but at what cost

[4/10 · 28 May 2024]

Slightly different, creative and thought provoking film based upon dreams set it a futuristic time period (apparently taken place in 2035). This is an independent film with seemingly complete control from the writers, director of the film.

It does start off interesting and we are intrigued in seeing where it leads. Unfortunately it becomes somewhat of a confusing mess with a branch of ideas that are confusing and doesn't exactly fulfill its end game potential. Around the part where the eldest son of the elderly woman enter the home. From there on, it's clear the son is disturbed by the man eventually leading to him knocking him out with an apparent bowling pin leading to the dreams.

In these dreams there are weird bizarre characters such as sailor people with rat heads, a waiter with a frog head playing a trumpet, these other demon like creatures. The island scenery is nice then the love angle feels entirely forced.

As this lengthy dream is happening, in the real time he is knocked out laid unconscious surrounded by a burning house fire. Of course he eventually wakes up and leaves. We question what exactly was the purpose.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

Highly over the top but outdones itself

[9/10 · 27 May 2024]

This latest instalment of historic franchise John Wick sees the longest runtime of the series to date. Possibly as each latest film, the films runtime went on further.

There seems to be a lot of key detail in this film and most importantly needed to be paid close attention. Some things may seem unclear but the more we watch the more we get accustomed to what's happening.

Several very lengthy fight sequences which this film possibly contains the best of the franchise. Two standouts. The first possibly is with Wick fending off the henchmen in Paris in oncoming traffic. We see a slew of vehicles passing by, with him maneuvering one by one. Also with the addition of the Tracker character and his dog. Very well shot and this lasted quite long but it's worth the watch.

The other is essentially the finale with Wick at the bottom of the flight of stairs along with the blind Caine character. The way they are both able to contract themselves and fend off these continuous henchmen fighting was thrilling.

Then the final showdown with Wick and Caine pacing back and forth was something was different and unexpected.

Overall if this is the final film of franchise, it definitely have ended on a high note.

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

Elevates on further brutal action

[8/10 · 26 May 2024]

With somewhat of a slow start it seemed slightly confusing the direction the film would go. Somewhat dragged along but looking at it now, perhaps the slower buildup was worth it.

Soon later we are introduced to Halle Berry's character, who delivers quite a powerful performance. One of the highlights include her fight scene with her two well trained dogs attacking in companion along with John in a nonstop shootout sequence. This happens just before the hour mark. And from that point on, the film really turns up a level.

Soon later she leaves Wick in the desert and that was apparently the last we see of her. The other main highlight was leading up to the final showdown with the lead bald Asian villain summoning his henchmen.

First starting with the sequences on the motorcycles then continuing into that lavish looking hotel suite with large sums of glass counters in jewellery apparent design. These sequences lasted quite long but they were most definitely top notch.

Chapter 3 does feel more as they brought in more characters but some of the dialogue and speech is somewhat confusing, mainly with the special coins and the group of women in the women on the phones with the blackboard writing details.

In comparison to the other two films, this was the longest in runtime and it seems like Wick had less dialogue. People seem to point out that there was too much action and not enough story. Which is a common and possibly valid complaint. Enjoyed Chapter 2, but think Parabellum may be slightly better.

The ending was quite thrilling and left off guard but was once again a setup for the eventual sequel.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

Extremely stylish and lavish action fueled

[7/10 · 26 May 2024]

This follow up to surprise hit for comeback star Keanu Reeves sees him returning as missionary assassin lead John Wick.

Having watched the original film around its release and only now watching this sequel for the first time many years later, having barely remembering the events of the original.

However this film is extremely paced and the overall set designs are even more stylish and lavish looking.

The action stunts and main sequences are great, including Wick battling one of the lead villains in and around the mansion then again at the subway station. Very well shot showcasing gun maneuvers, knife fights and fist fights.

The other highlight is the climax with Wick fending off the lead Russian villain and his henchmen in the fluesent bright mirror induced maze like setting.

This film's story isn't as simple but fun to watch along. One thing is they seem to make John Wick to be super-human like.

We understand he's professionally trained but the way he's able to take out a continuous amount of henchmen one by one is somewhat flawed. We do see him getting shot and stabbed on couple of occasions but in the end he seems fine enough.

The very ending with Wick meeting up the boss was a good send off and left everything open ending. They knew this film was going to be a hit, of course ensuring a sequel.

I Am Virgin (2010 Video)

Low budget campy, silly I Am Legend adult parody

[3/10 · 25 May 2024]

Given its very low IMDB rating (currently 1.9) and the lack of total reviews with most being one stars. Had no expectations and watched expected something entirely terrible but mildly amusing.

This film is essentially best enjoyed not to take serious and understand its low budget with amateur actors (apparently this was the lead actor's first film), with actual adult stars.

Still the acting is terrible and unintentionally funny at times, mainly with the lead Robby speaking to himself and his dog. We even get the classic Jaws line (54:02) with him in the adult store holding an adult toy saying "we're gonna need a bigger boat".

The plot is nonexistent with just Robby being the last human wondering around the deserted city of Portland, due to its virus wiping humans out. We see him doing things as shopping, playing golf and of course wander into strip clubs, adult dvd shops and hospitals.

The main hurdle here is given in its title, Robby is a virgin and as he goes from venue he sees these attractive vampire women performing. Of course he's tempted in getting involved as we see him creeping in on each act, but his thought is justified thinking that if he does get involved, the vampires will bite him turning himself into a vampire.

There are lot of goofiness like scenes with him webcaming himself talking about his day, continually complaining about being a virgin and his current situation.

One highlight is a random five minute cameo by beloved Ron Jeremy (1:14:35) as the elder vampire giving our lead advice.

As expected there are about five explicit soft core scenes (apparently these brief scenes were edited and taken from adult soft core Vamp Vixens), and these scene last around 3-5 minutes. Starts early around 9:40, others 34:25, 45:30, 54:25, 1:06:10. With each scene it's edited with glimpses of Robby peeping on the act deciding what to do.

The end sees him going in a daytime strip club (the world known "Lucky Devil") and being confronted by all the vampire women whom he seen previously before with him giving the monologue chronicling back to the opening of the film. He ponders whether he would partake but ultimately decides not to then he leaves.

Then we see him back home on the webcam essentially saying he's saving himself for "the right girl". Movie ends.

Again not a film to be taken serious, and is essentially an unfunny and awkward adult spoof but it's nothing to be upset about watching. Don't expect anything great and you may enjoy the unintentional comical relief.

Bird Box (2018)

Intriguing futuristic apocalyptic thriller

[7/10 · 24 May 2024]

Considering the massive amount of hype from its Netflix release back in December 2018. Bird Box is most definitely a polarizing type film and one of Netflix's biggest streaming films of all time.

There are definitely a lot to enjoy here. It does start off relatively slower with its introduction to the characters.

People compared Bird Box to the Quiet Place, suggesting Bird Box ripped off the Quiet Place considering they were released both in 2018 with Bird Box being released after, but this film is apparently based on a novel which was released before A Quiet Place was in production. Reminded somewhat also to the Happening or the Road.

At first slightly confused in it's storytelling non linear arc with it's flashback scenes going back and forth to the present time. After a while, though this was well done showing the events leading up to the present time.

The acting is definitely passable and convincing. A lot of different supporting characters who one by one eventually get eliminated. Sandra Bullock shows her range but her character was rather obnoxious but given the situation it was somewhat reasonable and realistic.

The film really gets further intriguing around the scene when the other pregnant woman lets in the last survivor into their home. We as the audience immeasurably know that he isn't who he's presenting himself with all the characters besides Douglas (John Malcovich) thinking he's trustworthy. Of course in the end he goes rogue and the violence gets turned up a notch. Several gruesome but creative deaths ensue.

From there it seemingly fast forwards five years later and things are about the same, as in still an apocalypse needing to wear blindfolds outside and such. Now the children are older (about five years old) and the lone survivors are Malorie and Tom.

The very ending seeing Malorie and the kids finding a proper shelter (apparently being a school for "the blind") was a clever unpredictable twist.

However still we are left with questions unanswered such as: what is the cause of people turning crazy from seeing sunlight? How were some people not affected by it? How quickly exactly do you become possessed if you see sunlight? Couldn't they have taken very little peeks with their eyes and things would have been fine?

Overall even with its flaws and somewhat questionable situations, the film, especially more so the second act of the film is highly entertaining and rather quite thought provoking.

Perhaps this is one of those films that you either love or hate. Definitely a wide variety of opinions.

Real Steel (2011)

Cliched but uplifting underdog story

[7/10 · 24 May 2024]

This is very much a classic tale of an underdog success story from rags to riches. Very few prominent robot films in mainstream Hollywood.

The action sequences with the effects of the robots are very well done. The overall look and designs of the robots are well designed and it shows the creativity of these artists.

The father son relationship is something which many people love seeing and although it is predictable, it's more about the journey along the way seeing the eventual growth of these characters.

The story did grow once the son found the deserted robot "Atom" and it becomes more about him and the robot. Of course from there, we get the sense of where's it going, but it is wholesome in the sense of fatter and son bonding.

Several highlights including one of the robot boxing matches with Atom and the red robot with two heads. Very thrilling and great choreographed. The finale robot battle with the great Zeus was also great all be it predictable.

Considering this was a family targeted film, a happy ending here was definitely needed in a feel good way.