Postal (2007)
Larry Thomas: Osama Bin Laden
Photos
Quotes
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Osama bin Laden : [on the walkie-talkie] The fat man is at the buffet.
Mohammed : What?
Osama bin Laden : I repeat: the fat man is at the buffet.
Mohammed : What the fuck are you talking about?
Osama bin Laden : The van is here you idiot.
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[last lines]
Osama Bin Ladin : George, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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Osama bin Laden : I'm telling you, Mohammed, I've seen that gas station before. We're lost.
Mohammed : We're not lost. All gas stations look alike in this country. What is wrong with you?
Osama bin Laden : Would you just stop to ask for directions?
Mohammed : Would you get off my back? I'm doing the best I can, okay?
Osama bin Laden : I should be driving.
Mohammed : Oh, so you can do everything around here, huh? Be the head of an organization and also be the driver? What is wrong with you?
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Osama bin Laden : I'm gonna go watch Oprah.
Mohammed : [as Osama is leaving] She's looking good these days. The diet is working!
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[from trailer]
Osama bin Laden : Uwe Boll may be an infidel, but he made a very funny film.
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Osama bin Laden : Write me up an e-mail, tell me what pipe you're talkin' about and I'll blow it all the way to Mecca.
George W. Bush : I really appreciate it. I'll ask Laura to type that out. You know me and spelling and all...
[laughs]
Osama bin Laden : Later...
[hangs up; to Taliban]
Osama bin Laden : Jihad!
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Mohammed : Where are the fucking keys? They gotta be somewhere.
Osama bin Laden : I thought you had the keys?
Mohammed : [searches for the keys in his clothes] You know, sometimes it helps recreating your steps.
Osama bin Laden : [finds the keys in his clothes] Mohammed!
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Osama Bin Ladin : Allah be praised! Now has come the time to sacrafice your lives to avenge this outrage!
Mohammed : Or... we could just kill... the other guys! Yeah!
Other Talibans : Yeah!
[the other Talibans shoot through the roof of the car with their machine guns]
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Osama bin Laden : They're not listening to me anymore, Mohammed. I tell them about Allah and glory and what do I get? What do i get all the damn time?
Mohammed : Virgins...
Osama bin Laden : Dingdingdingdingdingding! Nobody wants to die anymore unless they get virgins.