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paul_haakonsen
I am a big fan of Asian cinema in particular, and I am quite fond of especially South Korean and Hong Kong movies.
My favorite genre is, and always have been, horror, with a preference to anything with zombies in it.
I believe that every movie should be given the chance of being seen - a belief that has lead me to watch many a questionable movies.
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Hunting Housewives (2024)
Laughably ridiculous...
I have to admit that when I sat down to watch the 2024 movie "Hunting Housewives", I was expecting it to be a comedy. I mean, given the movie's title and the fact that it was starring Denise Richards, well I thought I was in for a laugh or two.
The storyline in "Hunting Housewives" was just insanely laughable. I mean, Mark Dodds plan was just so far out there, but at least it was good for a laugh or two. I really can't believe that people actually greenlighted the script that writer Paula Tiberius conjured up for this movie.
And how convenient that Mark managed to set up an abundance of cameras in the wilderness at the exact location where the plane crashes. How convenient. Quite a coincidence, huh? And the fact that none of the ladies stumble upon the cameras before the last quarter of the movie is even more impressive. And even more impressive was the fact that Mark put his company's logo on the back of the cameras. Seriously? Was this script written by a toddler?
Of the entire cast ensemble, I was actually only familiar with actress Denise Richards. The acting performances in the movie were actually fair, despite the rubbish script that the actors and actresses had to work with.
This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you wasting 85 minutes on watching. Some of us suffered through this ordeal, so you don't have to. You're quite welcome. It is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time, because it was horrible to sit through the first time around.
My rating of director Marco Deufemia's 2024 swing and a miss thriller lands on a two out of ten stars.
Chasing Raine (2024)
An action thriller devoid of action and thrills...
Needless to say that I had of course never heard about the 2024 action thriller titled "Chasing Raine" prior to stumbling upon it by sheer blind luck and opting to sit down and watch it. Sure, I didn't know what I was in for here, aside from it being an action thriller, but with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, of course the movie got a fair chance.
Writers and directors Lee Bateman and Quinanthony Bateman put together a rather monotonous and bland script and storyline. The narrative was progressing at an incredibly sluggish pace, which made it quite a struggle to sit through the movie without falling asleep.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, which is usually something I enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. While the acting performances in "Chasing Raine" were fair enough, it just wasn't memorable or outstanding performances. But then again, the actors and actresses didn't really have much of anything in terms of script, dialogue or character gallery to work with.
For an action thriller, I was surprised at the lack of both action and thriller contents to the script. It neither felt nor looked like an action thriller. And if you enjoy action thrillers, do yourself a favor and give "Chasing Raine" a wide berth, it just simply isn't worth spending 101 minutes on watching.
My rating of "Chasing Raine" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.
Sasquatch Sunset (2024)
This was definitely something else...
Granted, I had never heard about this 2024 movie titled "Sasquatch Sunset" prior to sitting down to watch it. So I didn't know what I was in for here, aside from it apparently being a comedy with sasquatches.
Well, this movie wasn't really much of a comedy, and I wasn't brought to any laughs throughout the course of the 88 minutes that the movie ran for. It was, however, a very, very unique movie. I must admit that in my many years of watching movies, then I have never actually experienced anything like what directors David Zellner and Nathan Zellner delivered here. "Sasquatch Sunset" is a movie that will find easily find a liking with everyone in the audience as it is a rather odd and unique movie experience.
You actually come to care for the sasquatches as they trek through the wilderness and you sort of form an attachment to them, basking in their accomplishments and grieving with them in their loss and sadness. And that was a nice accomplishment from writer David Zellner and performers Jesse Eisenberg, Riley Keough, Christophe Zajac-Denek and Nathan Zellner.
I must admit that I actually enjoyed watching "Sasquatch Sunset", because it was not a mainstream movie. And the fact that it wasn't a comedy didn't really matter, because the movie proved to be entertaining nonetheless.
"Sasquatch Sunset" is a visually impressive movie. I really liked the sasquatch designs, because they looked realistic and believable. Well, as realistic and believable as imaginary creatures can get. The costume designs were really good and added a lot of flavor to the movie. But not only was the costume designs good, but the entire way that the movie was shot, with the nature locations and the cinematography, that was quite aesthetic as well, adding great layers to the overall impression of the movie.
And in all my years of watching movies, I never thought I would ever see sasquatches fornicate, defecate and urinate on the screen. But here it is, in all its natural glory.
The movie only has four names on the cast list, and with Jesse Eisenberg being the only familiar name. I will say, though, that the acting performances in the movie were good, despite there being no dialogue.
If you enjoy movies that deviate from the norm and from the mainstream cinema, then you definitely should take the time to sit down and watch "Sasquatch Sunset". I was genuinely entertained throughout the course of the entire movie.
My rating of "Sasquatch Sunset" lands on a six out of ten stars.
The Fall Guy (2024)
Bland...
This was not a movie that I was in any particular rush to sit down and watch. But eventually got around to doing so, as I had the opportunity to do so.
The storyline in "The Fall Guy", as written by Glen A. Larson and Drew Pearce, was okay. It wasn't an outstanding or memorable storyline. Sure, it was watchable, but it felt somewhat flat and generic at times.
I found "The Fall Guy" to be entertaining for what it was, but it was hardly an outstanding movie for me. It just wasn't really tickling me in the right places, and I have to say that I was expecting a tad more from director David Leitch's 2024 movie than what "The Fall Guy" turned out to be.
The acting performances in the movie were fair. I am not particularly a big fan of Ryan Gosling, and "The Fall Guy" was hardly among his better of movies. And Emily Blunt, well, you know what you get with her in movies, so there's that.
Visually then the movie was good, and it was the action scenes and sequences that kept the movie afloat and kept it watchable.
While I did manage to sit through this movie in its 126 minutes runtime, which felt long, then I was only mildly entertained. "The Fall Guy" is not a movie that I will sit down to watch a second time, as it was enough of a struggle to sit through it the first time.
My rating of "The Fall Guy" lands on a very generous five out of ten stars.
Teddiscare (2024)
Another terrible Polonia movie...
Needless to say that I had never actually heard about the 2024 horror movie "Teddiscare" prior to sitting down to watch it. I happened to stumble upon the movie by random luck, and I have to say that the movie's cover was actually interesting enough to make me stop and take notice. It had a very 1980s classic horror feel to it, and that is what drew me in.
However, had I known that this was a Mark Polonia movie, then I would have avoided it like the plague. Yeah, that guy just doesn't make good movies. For some reason it feels like he has made a sport out of finding the most inept and untalented actors and actresses. And "Teddiscare" was no different.
The movie is terrible. No doubt about it, and the cover was the best thing about the ordeal. In fact, the movie's cover had nothing to do with the movie, as it was merely a guy walking around in a teddy bear mascot costume bought off of Wish. So yeah, it was a major disappointment to see that.
I wouldn't have to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, except for Jeff Kirkendall, whom apparently is in every single Mark Polonia movie. The acting performances in "Teddiscare" were nothing to write home about.
Visually, then this movie is bad. Especially the CGI animated blood spray. That was just horrible to look at.
Now, I am sure that there is a small niche of hardcore Mark Polonia fans out there that will find some perverse enjoyment in "Teddiscare". But for the casual viewer and those wanting to be entertained by a proper movie, then don't waste 82 minutes of your life on watching this dumpster fire of a movie. Some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to; you're very welcome.
My rating of "Teddiscare" lands on a two out of ten stars.
Reptilians (2024)
Time to strap on your tinfoil hats...
Alrighty then, well I thought that this was actually a sci-fi movie of sorts, so imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a documentary.
Now, I've seen my fair share of dubious and questionable documentaries, but "Reptilians" from writer and director Silas James Rowland definitely is the icing on the cake. When and if you opt to sit down to watch "Reptilian", you have to ensure that you are wearing your tinfoil hat a few sizes too tight.
This was definitely the most laughable documentary I've seen in ages. Talk about a laughable concept conjured up to people with way too vivid imaginations and too much time on their hands. Seriously? A race of reptilian humanoids Hellbent to take over the world? I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity that people actually being this stuff.
The visual effects and CGI effects in "Reptilians" was not particularly great. It looked and felt like something taken out of a shoddy computer game.
It takes a certain type of crackpot to believe in the topic that "Reptilians" deals with. But they are out there, sadly so.
I would not recommend you to waste 76 minutes of your life to sit down and watching "Reptilians". It just simply isn't worth the time or effort. Some of us suffered through this and took on for the team. You're very welcome.
My rating of writer and director Silas James Rowland's 2024 documentary "Reptilians" lands on a one out of ten stars.
Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U.S.S. Indianapolis (1991)
Enjoyable movie...
I had never even heard about this 1991 movie titled "Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U. S. S. Indianapolis" before stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. And of course I opted to sit down and watch the movie, as I was familiar with the story upon which the movie is based.
Writer Alan Sharp put together a fair script for director Robert Iscove to bring to the screen. It was a nicely paced script and narrative, and it was an entertaining and enjoyable storyline, despite of it being based on a real tragedy.
Something that really impressed me about this movie was the cast ensemble. Talk about having a lot of talented actors on the cast list, with the likes of Stacy Keach, David Caruso, Don Harvey, Richard Thomas, Robert Cicchini, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Steve Landesberg, Andrew Prine and Dale Dye. And the acting performances in the movie were quite good.
Visually then the movie was good. While it wasn't a movie that was throwing special effects left and right, there were some good visual effect that helped further the narrative and actually looked realistic. And the shark attack scenes were also nicely made.
All in all, "Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U. S. S. Indianapolis" is worth sitting down to watch if you haven't already seen it. However, I have to say that there is zero replay value to the movie. Once you've seen it, there is nothing else to get from the narrative, and thus it is a movie that will be shelved indefinitely after having been watched.
My rating of "Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U. S. S. Indianapolis" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (2024)
This was brutal...
Right, when I stumbled upon the 2024 movie "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead", I didn't know that they had remade the 1991 movie from director Stephen Herek. And my first thought was "but why?". Yet, I opted to sit down and watch the movie with an open mind and give director Wade Allain-Marcus's 2024 movie a fair chance.
But not even five minutes into it, it was painstakingly clear that this was going to suck big time. Yup, I figured that this movie would be a pointless remade that was remade solely for the purpose of being potically correct and inclusive. And guess what, my intuition was right.
The narrative in the movie was similar to the 1991 movie where writers Neil Landau and Tara Ison put together an enjoyable and entertaining script and storyline. But this watered-down 2024 remake from writer Chuck Hayward just paled in comparison. Sure, there were some fair enough aspects to it, but it was overshadowed by the looming sense of how pointless the remake was and some insanely recially stereotypical characters that just did nothing to further the enjoyment of the movie.
And even upgrading the movie to today's sad state of society and the inclusiveness and political correctness just didn't fare well on the screen. It was too forced and desperate from writer Chuck Hayward.
The comedy in the movie fell flat and I actually weren't brought to laughter even once throughout the course of the 99 minutes that the movie ran for.
I actually wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. And that is actually usually something I do enjoy in movies, but it just didn't play out all that well here, because of the stereotypical character gallery, annoying music and general pointlessness of the entire movie.
Wow, the music in this abysmal remake of a movie was atrocious. I absolutely loathed the music that played throughout the course of the suffering that was the 99 minutes that the movie ran for.
If you've ever watched the 1991 movie from director Stephen Herek, then stick with that one, and just completely ignore and look past this 2024 remake, because it was a dumpster fire. However, if you haven't watched the 1991 movie, then you might actually find something watchable here, I guess. I just didn't enjoy this movie.
My rating of this utterly pointless remake lands on a generous two out of ten stars. Seriously? Why remake the 1991 movie?
Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child (2016)
Sort of a forgettable action sci-fi...
Needless to say that I hadn't heard about this 2016 action sci-fi movie titled "Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child" prior to sitting down and watching it. But then again, given my general lack of interest in most things sci-fi, then I can't claim that I have been looking up sci-fi movies. I happened to stumble upon this movie by random chance here in 2024 and opted to sit down and watch it.
I have to say that I wasn't really harboring much of any expectations, because I virtually didn't know what I was in for here. But in a sense, then writers Shane Abbess and Brian Cachia, with the former also directing the movie, had every opportunity to entertain me and impress me with this movie.
The storyline was a bit forgettable. Sure, it made for an adequate enough viewing experience, I suppose. But I can't claim to be impressed with the narrative, because it was a bit bland. But I am sure that diehard sci-fi fans would be enjoying this movie way more than I did.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from Temuera Morrison. The acting performances were actually fair throughout the course of the movie, making it all the more bearable to sit through.
Visually then I will say that the CGI effects were good. And with this being an action sci-fi movie, then having proper and believable CGI effects is a make or break deal. Luckily, the CGI was good in the movie, and added to the overall enjoyment of the entire movie.
While I did manage to sit through "Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child" in its entire 95 minute runtime, I can honestly say that I am never returning to watch it a second time. The movie's cover oversold the movie by a mile.
My rating of director Shane Abbess's 2016 movie "Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child" lands on a five out of ten stars.
Irena's Vow (2023)
A swing and a miss...
When I stumbled upon the 2023 war drama "Irena's Vow" by random chance here in 2024, of course I opted to sit down and watch it, as I enjoy World War II themed movies. Sure, I had never even heard about this movie, but the synopsis sounded interesting enough, and with it being based on actual events, well, then it just seemed like the movie had potential.
Right, well writer Dan Gordon and director Louise Archambault certainly set out with a grand ambition, for sure. However, the end result that is "Irena's Vow" just was too sluggish and mundane. I was actually seriously bored throughout the 121 minutes that the movie ran for, and found it to be quite a struggle to sit through the ordeal, especially since the narrative was so bland and uneventful.
I found "Irena's Vow" to be a disappointing movie, especially since the movie's synopsis sounded interesting enough. The script just utterly failed to entertain me. There wasn't enough action going on in the movie, nor were there enough of anything overly interesting going on in the narrative.
The only face on the screen that I was familiar with was actor Dougray Scott. It should be noted, however, that the acting performances in the movie were actually fair, despite the fact that the script and narrative was a swing and a miss.
This is not a movie that will find its way back on my screen a second time, simply because the movie failed to entertain me, because it was a bland movie set with a World War II backdrop, and because it was hands down a boring movie.
But I am sure that diehard fans of heavy dramas with a World War II backdrop will enjoy this movie. That, however, is not particular go-to kind of genre for entertainment.
My rating of director Louise Archambault's 2023 war drama "Irena's Vow" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.
Earthtastrophe (2016)
But it was a movietastrophe...
Of course I had never heard about this 2016 movie prior to sitting down and watching it. I happened to come across it by random chance here in 2024 and opted to sit down and give the movie a fair chance. I have to admit, though, that I wasn't harboring much of any hopes or expectations to the movie, given the laughable title that the movie had.
But I still opted to give the movie a fair chance and the benefit of the doubt.
And not even a minute into the movie it became painstakingly clear that this movie was going to suck. The special effects were dubius and laughable. But hey, at least the effects matched the title, and that has got to count for something, right?
Writer Ashley O'Neil put together an insanely generic script. The cataclysmic events in the movie just made zero sense, and it were glanced over with far too much irrelevance. The audience is left with a sense of 'seriously?' as the movie progress and the pointless narrative trotted on and on.
I have to say that the narrative spiraled more and more out of control and went from strange to absurd and laughable as the movie progressed. This whole thing was a dumpster fire.
Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, I was only familiar with Brian Krause. I will say that the most of the acting performances throughout the course of the movie were fair. Nothing great or memorable, mind you. But taking into consideration the contents of the script and the character gallery, or rather lack thereof, then the actors and actresses actually faired well enough.
Visually then you're not in for anything grand. At least they tried, and that counts for something. But the effects in the movie were pretty bad. And for a movie made in 2016, it looked and felt like something that found its way out of the 1990s.
If you enjoy disaster movies, then do yourself a favor and skip on spending, well rather wasting, 82 minutes on "Earthtastrophe". It just simply wasn't worth the effort. Some of us suffered through this so you don't have to. You're very welcome.
How "Earthtastrophe" has managed to lande a 3.7 rating here on IMDb, in the very moment I am writing this review, is just simply beyond my comprehension.
My rating of director Nick Lyon's 2016 movie "Earthtastrophe" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.
Silence of the Prey (2024)
A swing and a miss at a horror attempt...
Of course it was a given that I had to sit down and watch the 2024 horror movie "Silence of the Prey", as I happened to stumble upon it by random chance here in 2024. Sure, I had never heard about the movie, not that it really mattered, as it being a horror movie was sufficient for me to opt to sit down and watch it.
Now, I wasn't harboring any expectations to the movie, as I literally had no idea what I was in for here, aside from it being a horror movie. And I have to say that the movie's cover was the reason why I stopped and took notice of the movie.
The storyline in the movie, as written by Karyna Kudzina and Saro Varjabedian, was semi-adequate. It was a bit of a slow burn, but it proved to be sort of entertaining enough for what it was, provided you can endure the pacing of the narrative. And I have to say that the character gallery and some of the acting performances definitely helped to make the movie all the more enjoyable to sit through. The movie did, however, suffer from a somewhat stale and monotonous narrative, there wasn't much of any forward momentum, nor of anything overly thrilling or scary happening, and that made sitting through "Silence of the Prey" a bit of a drag.
I wasn't familiar with the casted actors and actresses in the movie. I wasn't particularly impressed with the performance put on by leading actress Karyna Kudzina (playing Nina), whom also co-wrote and co-directed the movie, as she didn't have a natural delivery of her dialogue or acting, making it feel shunted and rigid. Truth be told, she acted and looked like a puppet where some puppeteer has a hand up inside in order to make it move and perform. The movie, however, was carried by actor Chris LaPanta's (playing Luther) performance, and actor Monte Bezell (playing Andres) also put on a good performance.
Visually then "Silence of the Prey" wasn't packing a particularly impressive display. The movie wasn't really dependent on special effects and CGI, so that was a good thing, and thus the movie didn't really have an abundance of special effects nor CGI effects.
"Silence of the Prey" came and went without leaving much of a lasting impression. Sure, it was watchable for what it was, but it is hardly a movie that I will be picking up a second time. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for horror fans to rush out and get to watch.
My rating of directors Karyna Kudzina and Michael Vaynberg's 2024 horror movie "Silence of the Prey" lands on a three out of ten stars.
Konvoi (2023)
Wow, this was amazing...
With a dash of sheer luck, I happened to stumble upon the 2023 movie "Konvoi" (aka "The Arctic Convoy"). Now, I hadn't heard about the movie, nor did I know that it was a Norwegian movie, as the version I had the chance to sit down and watch was titled "The Arctic Convoy".
And I was quite surprised to find out that it was a Norwegian movie, and I was even more impressed by how intense and well-told this movie was. Writers Lars Gudmestad, Harald Rosenløw-Eeg and Christian Siebenherz put together quite a script and storyline for the movie, which is based on actual events. And with it being based on actual events just made the movie all the more impactful.
I have to say that director Henrik Martin Dahlsbakken really impressed me twice over with this movie. This movie just came out of nowhere and left a big impression on me. And it was an amazingly entertaining and enjoyable movie, given its storyline and the cinematography. It felt like I was onboard the vessel with the crew, and that certainly added to the overall enjoyment of the movie.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. But the actors and single actress in the movie really carried it phenomenally. They put on great performances and it was definitely memorable performances that shined on the screen. I was really impressed with the sheer level of talents that participated in the acting here.
Visually then "Konvoi" was great. It was an intense movie, and it was filmed in a very dynamic way, that made it feel like the audience were right there alongside the crew and part of the action.
If you have the opportunity to sit down and watch "Konvoi", then I would wholeheartedly recommend that you do so. I was really impressed and surprised with how this movie played out and what it turned out to be.
Norwegian cinema really has churned out some interesting movies over the recent years.
My rating of "Konvoi" lands on a most well-deserved seven out of ten stars.
Gai tung ngap gong (1988)
Enjoyable and feel-good Hong Kong comedy...
Given my love of the Hong Kong cinema, then of course I had to sit down and watch the 1988 comedy "Gai Tung Ngap Gong" (aka "Chicken and Duck Talk") when I had the chance to sit down and watch it for the first time here in 2024.
I had never actually heard about the movie prior to watching it. But that hardly mattered, because it being a Hong Kong movie that I hadn't already seen before was more than sufficient to make me sit down and spend 99 minutes on watching it.
Writers Michael Hui, Clifton Ko, Joe Ma and James Yuen put together an enjoyable and entertaining script and storyline. Sure, it was a late 1980s Hong Kong comedy in every sense of those words, but that was actually a good thing. I was genuinely entertained throughout the course of the entire movie. The movie's story and narrative actually still holds up today, given the small independent restaurants that are found all over Hong Kong, the ones that have way more charm and style that those chain restaurants that overshadow them.
The acting performances in "Gai Tung Ngap Gong" were good, though I was actually only familiar with Ricky Hui on the entire cast list. But I will say that the actors and actresses put on good performances and made the movie all the more enjoyable.
While this wasn't a comedy that had me bursting out laughing, it was still an enjoyable comedy, because it was definitely a feel-good type of comedy. And it was a mixture of the storyline and the well-written characters that made it so.
All in all, "Gai Tung Ngap Gong" is a movie that is well-worth sitting down to watch if you enjoy the late 1980s Hong Kong cinema.
My rating of director Clifton Ko's 1988 movie "Gai Tung Ngap Gong" lands on a five out of ten stars.
The Device (2014)
A watchable, but sluggish sci-fi thriller...
When I sat down to watch this 2014 movie titled "The Device" here in 2024, ten years after it was initially released, I had never actually heard about it. But I stumbled upon it by random chance, and found the cover to be interesting enough to make me stop and take notice. And thus, I opted to sit down and watch the movie without knowing what I was in for.
Writers Jeremy Berg and John Portanova put together a script that was somewhat slow paced, but if you manage to endure, then there is actually something interesting to the storyline. It is just a matter of a test of wills to sit through the rather sluggish narrative.
I suppose that the slow narrative might be off-putting to some viewers, and that makes "The Device" somewhat of a niché movie and an acquired taste. I suppose that hardcore fans of sci-fi thrillers will find enjoyment in this 2014 movie from director Jeremy Berg.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in "The Device", aside from Russell Hodgkinson, which is something I do enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. It was nice to see new and unfamiliar faces and talents on the screen, and the acting performances were fair.
Visually then "The Device" wasn't a movie that made use of an abundance of special effects or CGI. The alien design were actually interesting enough and functional, as they did have an otherworldly and extraterrestrial feel to them. And it was a nice approach to the alien design, deviating a bit from the usual standard representation of 'The Grey'.
"The Device" is a slow burn movie that proved entertaining enough for a single viewing. However, I will never pick up the movie and watch it a second time, as the storyline didn't have the contents for more than a single viewing.
My rating of director Jeremy Berg's 2014 sci-fi thriller "The Device" lands on a four out of ten stars. A fair attempt at a sci-fi thriller, I would say, but one that ultimately caters to the hardcore sci-fi fans.
For Sale (2024)
Devoid of horror and comedy...
Suffice it to say that I had never heard about the 2024 horror comedy "For Sale" prior to sitting down to watch it. But given my love of all things horror, and with this being a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to sit down and watch the movie.
Writers Jordan Friedberg and Christopher Schrack had every opportunity to impress and entertain me here, because I harbored zero expectations to the movie, as I virtually didn't know what I was in for here. However, I have to say that the movie was stale and monotonous. It was greatly lacking in both horror and comedy genres, making it a rather bland and pointless movie to sit through. And it didn't help much that the narrative was sluggish and nothing much of anything worthwhile happened throughout the course of the 115 minutes that the movie ran for.
Of course I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. The acting performances were fair, but nothing outstanding or particularly memorable though. While I do tend to enjoy watching movies with unfamiliar talents and faces on the screen, then "For Sale" just didn't win me over.
Visually then you're not in for any memorable treats here, as "For Sale" was a movie that ran on a minimal amount of special effects. Whatever little effects were in the movie were passable, though.
Running at 115 minutes and without nothing interesting happening, it was bordering on being torture sitting through this movie from director Christopher Schrack. It could seriously have benefitted from a generous trim in the editing room. The movie is just too long and slow paced to make it entertaining sitting through.
If you enjoy horror comedies, I wouldn't recommend that you waste 115 minutes of sitting through "For Sale". Some of us virtually suffered through this so you don't have to. You're very welcome.
My rating of "For Sale" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars, and that is based mostly on the production value of the movie.
The Last Kumite (2024)
When you order "Bloodsport" from Wish...
Granted, I wasn't really harboring the biggest of expectations to this 2024 action movie titled "The Last Kumite" when I sat down to watch it. In fact, I had never actually heard about the movie prior to watching it, so I didn't really know what I was in for here.
The storyline and script in "The Last Kumite" was so simplistic that it was bordering on being embarrassing to sit through. Writers Ross W. Clarkson and Sean David Lowe didn't exactly bring much of anything new or interesting to the martial arts genre. In fact, the storyline and narrative in the movie was generic and predictable. You're not in an evening of Shakespearian theater when you sit down to watch this movie; not that I was expecting that, actually.
When you sit down to watch a movie such as "The Last Kumite", of course you want to see the fighting tournament and see some impressive displays of fighting and martial arts. Well, you might want to brace yourself with a hefty amount of patience, if you sit down to watch "The Last Kumite", because you need to sit through 65 minutes of filler dialogue, attempts at character building and training montages before you get to the good part, and with the movie running at a total of 105 minutes, go figure.
There were two familiar faces on the cast list, and that was Cynthia Rothrock and Matthias Hues. I suppose if you were a fan of Cynthia Rothrock then you might find something worthwhile in "The Last Kumite"; I personally can't claim to ever have been a fan of her or her movies. While I do enjoy watching unfamiliar faces and talents on the screen, I have to say that I wasn't particularly impressed with what I saw on the screen here.
The character gallery in "The Last Kumite" was flaccid and one-dimensional. Most of the characters are mere fillers in order to set up Michael Rivers (played by Mathis Landwehr) against Dracko (played by Mike Derudder). In fact, you don't even bother getting to know the names of the characters throughout the movie, because there is zero in-depth characterization of any of them, nor any proper motivation and drives, much less personalities and traits.
Having to wait 65 minutes of boring rubbish before you get to the fights, I have to say that the fight scenes didn't really do much to make up for the long wait. Sure, there were some nicely enough choreographed fights, but it just wasn't sufficient to make up for the boredom of having to suffer through 65 minutes of boredom.
"The Last Kumite" was a boring dumpster fire that simply just managed to get picked up because it has the word 'Kumite' in its title. Yeah, the throwback to the 1988 movie "Bloodsport" that was starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. But "The Last Kumite" doesn't even reach "Bloodsport" to the ankles.
This movie, from director Ross W. Clarkson, was a weak attempt at making a martial arts movie reminiscent of the late 1980s and early 1990s.
My rating of "The Last Kumite" lands on a very, very generous three out of ten stars.
Pandemonium (2023)
Not my cup of tea...
Needless to say that I had never actually heard about this 2023 horror movie titled "Pandemonium" prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. In fact, I didn't even know that it was a French movie that I sat down to watch when I opted to sit down and watch it, on account of it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen.
So in a sense, writer and director Quarxx had every opportunity to entertain and impress me here. However, that was a wasted opportunity, because "Pandemonium" was a dumpster fire of a movie. I didn't know that I was in for a horror anthology here, and had I known that this was an anthology I wouldn't have wasted 95 minutes on watching it.
The movie was off to a great start with the scene with Nathan (played by Hugo Dillon) and Daniel (played by Arben Bajraktaraj) with the crash and the choices of Heaven or Hell. But then the movie quickly went downhill. But give it a watch, perhaps you might find the segments and stories interesting. I just happened to not find the subsequent segments interesting, after the first one.
It should be said, though, that the acting performances in "Pandemonium" were good. I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, however. But that is actually something I do appreciate and enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. Just a shame that this was a dumpster fire of a horror anthology.
Visually then "Pandemonium" was okay. There were a minimal of special effects throughout the 95 minutes that the movie ran for. But the effects were adequate for what they were and served the movie well enough.
"Pandemonium" didn't impress me, much less actually entertained me. And it is not a movie that will ever grace my screen a second time.
My rating of writer and director Quarxx's 2023 horror movie "Pandemonium" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.
Love Bite (2012)
Not much of a bite here...
I happened to stumble upon the 2012 horror comedy "Love Bite" by random chance here in 2024. Needless to say that I opted to sit down and watch it, given my love of all things horror. And I have to say that the movie's synopsis sounded interesting enough.
The storyline in the movie, however, was somewhat disappointing. There just simply wasn't enough of anything happening throughout the course of the 91 minutes that the movie ran for. So writers Ronan Blaney and Cris Cole failed to impress me with what they delivered for director Andy De Emmony to bring to the screen. The narrative was simply lacking tremendously in both the horror and comedy department. And there was a bit too much focus on lewd things, as if the narrative was written by a randy adolescent writer.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, and that is actually something I do rather enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. And it should be said that the acting performances in "Love Bite" were actually good.
Visually then "Love Bite" wasn't all that impressive. Sure, it wasn't among the worst of special effects movies that I've seen, not even remotely. But the CGI animated werewolf in the movie didn't really look realistic - well, as realistic as a make-believe fantasy creature can get - nor did it look great either. In fact, it looked like something you would find in a late 2000s computer game.
While I did manage to sit through the entire 91 minutes that "Love Bite" ran for, this is not an impressive movie. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for horror comedy fans, because you have to look long and hard to find horror or comedy here. And it is definitely not a movie that I will return to watch a second time.
My rating of "Love Bite" lands on a very generous four out of ten stars.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Still going strong...
Right, well as part of watching the old "Spider-Man" movies once again here in 2024, of course I came to sit down and watch "Spider-Man 3" as well. Of course I have watched it before, so it was not exactly a new viewing experience.
The storyline in "Spider-Man 3" is good. Writers Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent put together a script and storyline that definitely was almost fully up to par with the 2002 "Spider-Man" and the 2004 "Spider-Man 2" movies, so that was quite a nice thing, and a good accomplishment from the writers. If you enjoyed the previous two movies, you will also enjoy this third movie from director Sam Raimi.
The movie does have some flaws, and the plot does suffer a bit from prolonged periods of stagnancy. Sure, it was a good story, but there were just parts where the plot seemed to be running in Neutral gear.
And it was nice to see the cast from the previous two movies return to reprise their roles and characters, with that being Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Rosemary Harris and J. K. Simmons. The two villains in this third movie were portrayed by Thomas Haden Church and Topher Grace. And just like in the previous two movies, there was a nice appearance from Bruce Campbell himself.
While were are on the topic of the two villains, then I have to say that I found the Sandman to be a filler character - pardon the pun. But his story arch and motivation was rather weak and he didn't really do much of anything than assaulting Spider-Man. Whereas Venom seemed a bit more interesting and fleshed out - pardon the pun again.
Visually then "Spider-Man 3" is good, and it is quite a step up from the previous two movies. So thumbs up to the CGI and special effects department for that accomplishment. I will say that this movie is definitely the most visually impressive of the three Sam Raimi directed "Spider-Man" movies.
I've enjoyed "Spider-Man 3" every time I've sat down to watch it, and that is a testament to the contents of the script and storyline, proving that the writers really were doing a great job.
My rating of "Spider-Man 3" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Definitely a good sequel...
I opted to sit down and watch the 2004 movie "Spider-Man 2" once again her in 2024, right after having watched the 2002 movie "Spider-Man" as well. Of course I've seen director Sam Raimi's 2004 sequel before, a couple of times actually, but it has been many, many years since the last time.
So it was a nice return to the early Marvel movies, and I have to admit that the storyline in "Spider-Man 2" was, and actually still is, as good as the storyline in the previous movie. So writers Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Michael Chabon and Alvin Sargent definitely put together and enjoyable and entertaining script and storyline.
It was nice to see Tobey Maguire return to don the mantle of Spider-Man once again. And just like two years earlier, he did it with grace and really carried the movie and the character. "Spider-Man 2" also has Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, J. K. Simmons and Rosemary Harris returning to reprise their characters, which was nice. And Alfred Molina definitely was a nice casting choice for Doc Ock / Dr. Otto Octavius. There were some other nice faces on the cast list, with the likes of Elya Baskin and Daniel Dae Kim. And, of course it was a treat to have Bruce Campbell himself return to the movie, even if just for a brief moment and also Willem Dafoe.
Needless to say that the acting performances in the movie were good.
Visually then "Spider-Man 2" was good. The CGI effects were a tad better than the first "Spider-Man" movie, but still there are some effects that shows signs of not aging well, as the movie is 20 years old already. But all in all, the effects were suitable for the movie taking into consideration when it was made, and still holds up fairly well today.
If you haven't watched "Spider-Man 2", then you should do so. But you should sit down and watch the 2002 "Spider-Man" movie first in order to fully understand some of the events in the sequel.
All in all, a great sequel with a lot of enjoyable moments to it. And it certainly is a movie that you can watch again and again.
My rating of "Spider-Man 2" lands on a seven out of ten stars.
Spider-Man (2002)
Still quite good...
When I opted to sit down and watch the 2002 movie "Spider-Man" once again here in 2024, it was because I haven't actually watched it since it was released. So it was due time to revisit director Sam Raimi's 2002 movie.
The storyline in "Spider-Man", as written by Stan Lee, Steve Ditko and David Koepp, is an enjoyable one. It is a well-written script that is easy for viewers to get immersed into; even for newcomers who aren't familiar with the Spider-Man comic books. And it is also a rather enjoyable and action-packed script, so the viewers are in for quite a ride throughout the course of the 121 minutes that the movie runs for.
But the "Spider-Man" movie is more than just a good story, because the casting in the movie is great. I have to say that Tobey Maguire is rather well cast for the role of Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and he really carries the movie and the role quite nicely. But the icing on the cake in Tobey "Spider Man" is definitely Willem Dafoe in the role of Green Goblin and Norman Osborn; he is just phenomenally cast for the role and brings the villainous Green Goblin to life on the screen with grace and character. "Spider-Man" also have the likes of Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, and J. K. Simmons on the cast list. And there are some great appearances from Bruce Campbell and Randy "Macho Man" Savage as well.
The acting performances in "Spider-Man" are good, and the casted actors and actresses do great jobs in bringing their characters and the story to life on the screen.
Visually then "Spider-Man" is good. The movie is, however, showing signs of being 22 years old, as some of the CGI looks a bit dubious. But the overall impression is good, and the movie still holds ground today.
If you haven't seen director Sam Raimi's 2002 movie "Spider-Man" already, then you definitely should do so, regardless of liking superhero movies or not, because it is well-worth watching. And it is a movie that you can watch more than once.
I have been thoroughly entertained each time I've sat down to watch "Spider-Man". So it certainly is a movie that I warmly recommend, and I am not overly keen on superhero movies in general.
My rating of "Spider-Man" lands on a seven out of ten stars.
Sting (2024)
Enjoyable spider flick...
Now, this 2024 horror movie titled "Sting", from writer and director Kiah Roache-Turner, was a movie that I definitely had been looking forward to watching. I have to admit that there is just something about giant spiders in movies that works for me. And when I first came to know about the movie, it was definitely added to my to-watch-list.
And now that I have watched it, I have to say that the wait was worth it. Writer and director Kiah Roache-Turner put together and enjoyable and entertaining script and storyline. Sure, it was a bit generic in terms of the trope of an arachnid creature from outer space, but it worked, because the movie was entertaining. And that is what matters, isn't it?
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, but the casted actors and actresses put on good performances and brought their characters and the storyline to life on the screen in a good manner.
Visually then "Sting" was good. I hadn't expected special effects like that, but, oh boy, was it good. The CGI effects in the movie were good and they made the spider look rather realistic. Creature features like this need proper and believable effects to be effective and entertaining, and "Sting" definitely had that. So thumbs up to the special effects department for that accomplishment.
If you enjoy horror movies and giant spider movies, the writer and director Kiah Roache-Turner delivered a wholesome and entertaining movie. It is without a doubt a movie that I warmly recommend.
My rating of "Sting" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Foil (2023)
A rather unique movie...
Of course I had not heard about the 2023 sci-fi comedy titled "Foil" prior to sitting down and watching it here in 2024. I happened to stumble upon the movie by sheer random luck, and ofcourse opted to sit down and watch it, on account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen.
Sure, I didn't know what I was in for, aside from what little I read from the movie's synopsis. So in a sense writers Zach Green and Devin O'Rourke had every opportunity to entertain and impress me with this movie.
"Foil" is definitely in a league of its own. The storyline in the movie is one of a kind, which makes it somewhat of a niché movie, and not something that will appeal to just everyone. But I think you should check it out, because it might just be something for you if you enjoy off-beat movies that aren't just mainstream run-of-the-mill movies.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, and that is actually something I do enjoy when I sit down and watch a movie. It is always nice to see new faces and talents on the screen. And I will say that the acting performances in "Foil" were actually fair.
Visually then you're not in for anything grand here. "Foil" is not a movie that is driven by crafty CGI effects, but then again, the movie didn't really need it in order to tell its story.
I found "Foil" to be an oddly enjoyable enough movie, though it is hardly a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.
My rating of director Zach Green's 2023 movie "Foil" lands on a four out of ten stars.
Most Likely to Die (2015)
Meh...
As I stumbled upon the 2015 horror movie "Most Likely to Die" by random chance here in 2024, of course I opted to sit down and watch it, given my love of the horror genre. Sure, I had never heard about it, but the movie's cover seemed okay enough.
Writer Laura Brennan delivered a rather unforgettable script and storyline. "Most Likely to Die" was essentially just a generic horror movie like so many, many others before it. Writer Laura Brennan didn't deliver anything outstanding, memorable or particularly entertaining. And that made sitting through "Most Likely to Die" a rather bland viewing experience.
Of the entire cast ensemble here, I was only familiar with Jake Busey. The acting performances throughout the course of the movie were actually fair enough, especially when you take into consideration the monotonous material that the actors and actresses had to work with.
What keeps "Most Likely to Die" afloat is the violence and bloodshed throughout the course of the 80 minutes that the movie ran for. There were some interesting enough death scenes to sit through, and it sort of made up for the lack of creativity on the script front.
Ultimately, not a particularly memorable horror movie. I found that "Most Likely to Die" came and went without leaving a lasting impression on me. And it definitely is not a movie that I will watch a second time. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend fans of the horror genre to sit down and watch. If you've seen any horror movies during the 1990s or 2000s, then you've essentially already also seen "Most Likely to Die".
My rating of director Anthony DiBlasi's 2015 horror movie "Most Likely to Die" lands on a three out of ten stars.