Blades of Glory (2007)
Craig T. Nelson: Coach
Photos
Quotes
-
Jimmy : So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Coach : Oh, really?
Chazz : We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Blackeyed Peas. "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I'm a get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."
Jimmy : [disgusted] I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't even know what that means.
Chazz : No one knows what it means, but it's provocative...
Jimmy : No, it's not, it's gross...
Chazz : ...It gets the people going!
-
[Chazz and Jimmy have tied for the Gold Medal in Men's Singles]
Darren MacElroy : You're fired.
Coach : What? I got him a Gold Medal.
Darren MacElroy : No, you got him half a Gold Medal. If I wanted him to share, I would have gotten him a brother.
-
Coach : [to Jimmy and Chazz] Alright, ladies. Tea party's over. We got two days 'til Montreal. I want to see an Iron Lotus.
-
[Chazz and Jimmy have just seen the decapitation caused by the Iron Lotus on video]
Coach : [confidently] Okay, so what do you say? Let's try an Iron Lotus.
Chazz : Are you nuts?
Jimmy : Wha...? We can't do that!
Coach : C'mon. What are you talking about? Look, after all these years, I know what went wrong. The physics were off; it was a man and a woman. That's why it didn't work. You're two men... you should be fine.
-
Coach : [interjecting as Chazz and Jimmy are arguing] All right, this is gonna stop right now! From here on out, you guys are a team. Do you understand? You are going to eat together, sleep together, you are going to pee together, you're gonna file a joint income tax return; practice starts now! End of discussion!
-
Coach : Figure skating? Give it up, Jimmy! It's like a cruel bitch mother!