The Do-Over (2016)

Adam Sandler: Max

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Quotes 

• Charlie : How could you have not researched these guys?

  Max : I researched them. Dr. Ron, a very successful doctor, with an impeccable record, who unfortunately got two bullets to the head.

  Charlie : You said he died of natural causes!

  Max : You naturally die if you get two bullets to the head.

• [last lines] 

  Max : You ready for this?

  Charlie : Fuck yes. You only live twice, right?

• Charlie : Permission to come aboard, skipper?

  Max : Permission granted, little buddy!

• Max : We are looking at 25 to 30 years here.

  Charlie : But you said there was 5 to 10.

  Max : That was before we shot Dawn's husband.

  Charlie : *You* shot Dawn's husband!

  Max : I only shot him because you tag-teamed his wife!

• [first lines] 

  Charlie : [narrating]  Reunions are strange. They bring up a lot of feelings about your past. Were you a jock? A pothead? A Drama Club kid? A loser? Did you get the girl? Or did she ever even notice you? Who did you want to be, and who did you actually become?

  Max : [suddenly putting an arm on his shoulder]  Damn, Charlie. You still hung up on that skank?

• Becca : [about Heather]  Who's this sexy bitch?

  Mrs. Kessler : I'm his mother.

  Max : Not you ma!

• Max : [to driver of car along side]  Hey dude, I'm lost. Can you tell me where the side of the road is?

  [side-swipes him] 

• Max : [watching grind dancers]  Man, these two assholes deserve each other.

  Charlie : They actually got divorced. They're still really good friends, though.

  Max : I see that.

  Charlie : They had twins together, but... she got remarried.

  Max : Wow. Imagine if her husband was here right now, watching that alcoholic hose-bag fuckin' dry-humpin' her ex?

  Charlie : He *is* here, actually.

  [holds up his ring finger] 

  Max : Oh, hey, congratulations!