Royal Pains (TV Series)
Crazy Love (2009)
Paulo Costanzo: Evan R. Lawson
Quotes
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Evan R. Lawson : You looking for somebody? Maybe somebody who knows how to surf without perling, 'cause...?
Katie : You got me. I like to base my relationships on surfing technique.
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Evan R. Lawson : I'm actually - you know what? - I don't even surf. I'm more of a turf guy.
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[Katie calls Hank an MSG]
Dr. Hank Lawson : [to Evan] What's an "MSG?"
Evan R. Lawson : Medical super god.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Oh, all right.
Evan R. Lawson : Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
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Evan R. Lawson : You're welcome for that, by the way, you know, dragging you out to Boris' party in the first place, getting you and Jill together.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Oh, okay, so you're gonna take credit for everything that happens in my life post-Brooklyn, man?
Evan R. Lawson : A butterfly flaps its wings.
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Dr. Hank Lawson : Okay, so about this MSG thing...
Jill Casey : Ugh. It's not a thing. It's really no big deal.
Evan R. Lawson : Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus-spewing growth?
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Evan R. Lawson : Okay, look, I understand you were raised with a silver spoon up your... but I would like to make a profit. Besides, I do billing; you do medicine-y stuff.
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Evan R. Lawson : You really think it's safe to go home? Like, you don't understand. Boris was really, really serious about me keeping his deep, dark shark secret, and I really don't wanna be thrown in his hedge maze to be gored by a minotaur or something.
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Evan R. Lawson : [about Katie] She's got some cajones, man. If she actually had cajones, and you saw them when you treated her, you couldn't even tell me, could you?
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Jill Casey : [to Evan after he talks his way onto Katie's bad side] Oh, you just dug your own grave.
Katie : [to Jill] Yeah, he's no MSG.
Jill Casey : No.
Katie : [to Evan] Don't worry, though. All you missed was a couple months of casual, really good sex.
Evan R. Lawson : Whoa-whoa, w-okay, I'm an MSG. Look at... What the hell's an MSG?
Dr. Hank Lawson : Yeah, you guys gotta tell us what that means. It's enough already.
Jill Casey : It's stupid.
Evan R. Lawson : Medieval slut gatherer, man seeking guacamole, manatees...
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Evan R. Lawson : Wow. Dieter's makin' house calls? That can't be good.
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Dr. Hank Lawson : Evan, I have a patient who just passed his physical with flying colors.
Evan R. Lawson : So what's the problem?
Dr. Hank Lawson : The problem is he's sick, and I totally missed it.