My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Lainie Kazan: Maria Portokalos

Photos 

Quotes 

• Toula Portokalos : Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"

  Maria Portokalos : Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

• Maria Portokalos : Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom."

  Toula Portokalos : Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.

• [upon receiving a bundt cake from Mrs. Miller] 

  Maria Portokalos : It's a cake! I know! Thank you! Thank you very, very much.

  [whispering to Aunt Freida] 

  Maria Portokalos : There's a hole in this cake!

• Maria Portokalos : Ian, are you hungry?

  Ian Miller : Uh no, I already ate.

  Maria Portokalos : Okay, I make you something.

• Maria Portokalos : We must let Kosta think this was his idea.

  Aunt Voula : All right, I know.

  Maria Portokalos : That he came up with it.

  Aunt Voula : All right.

  Toula Portokalos : Ma, he's gonna figure it out.

  Maria Portokalos : Don't you worry.

  Aunt Voula : Okay, I know what to do you.

  Maria Portokalos : You don't know what to do. You talk, talk, talk, all the time!

  Aunt Voula : Do you want my help?

  Maria Portokalos : Yes, I want your help!

  Aunt Voula : Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say.

  Maria Portokalos : Perfect!

• Maria Portokalos : [angry]  What is wrong with Toula going to school downtown?

  Gus Portokalos : Is drugs downtown!

  Maria Portokalos : What are you saying? Are you saying Toula will get involved with drugs?

  Gus Portokalos : No. But somebody will say to her: take this bag down to the bus depot, and she'll do it!

  Maria Portokalos : She is not stupid! She's smart!

  Gus Portokalos : I know she's smart. So what for she needs more school? She's smart enough for a girl.

  Maria Portokalos : [indignated]  Oh! You think you're smarter than me, huh?

  Gus Portokalos : No, I... I mean... You... you know...

  Maria Portokalos : [angry]  What? What you mean? I run the restaurant, I cook, I clean, I wash for you *and* I raise three kids *and* I teach Sunday school, you know? It's lucky for me I have you to tie my shoes!

  Gus Portokalos : Maria!

  [Maria leaves the room, slamming the door, and smiles at Toula] 

• Maria Portokalos : I gave you life so that you could live it.

• Athena : I'm going to the Jewel. Listen, I'll get you some pantyhose.

  Maria Portokalos : No queen size. They make me look fat.

• Maria Portokalos : Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age, we didn't have food!

• Maria Portokalos : Where did you go?

  Nick Portokalos : Nowhere.

  Maria Portokalos : What did you do?

  Nick Portokalos : Nothing.

  Maria Portokalos : Who did you see?

  Nick Portokalos : No one.

• Maria Portokalos : [Gus is brooding in the family room and Maria has turned on all the lights]  ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

  [He gets up to leave] 

  Maria Portokalos : Don't you walk away from me! Sit down! Sit down!

  [He sits on the couch] 

  Maria Portokalos : It's done! They fell in love!

  Gus Portokalos : How could she do this to me?