The Fast Show (1994–2014)

John Thomson: Various Roles, Louis Balfour, Professor Denzil Dexter, Rubbish Dad, Fat Sweaty Copper, Chester Drawers, Crap Croupier, Roy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Louis Balfour : What are you going to play for us today, Jackson?

  Jackson Jeffery Jackson : Trumpet.

  Louis Balfour : No, er, what tune?

  Jackson Jeffery Jackson : [indignant]  Tune? This' jazz!

• Director : Chip? Take five - we need to reset the wire.

  Chip : Set meself on fire? All right.

• Roger Nouveau Football Fan : Of course, it wasn't always like that. I used to support... er? Manchester United. But then, you had to support them where I came from in... erm... Hampstead.