- Travalian: No ex-husband of Gloria's ever has to apologize to me about anything. We're like a little club.
- Ivan: I have done many terrible things in my life but I have never put another man's wife in my bed.
- Larry Kotzwinkle: Wasn't she married to that Spanish painter when you slept with her?
- Ivan: Don't prove me wrong, Larry, I hate it when I'm proven wrong.
- Gloria Travalian: Ivan, I'm not leaving you for another man.
- Travalian: Larry Kotzwinkle's not a man, he's a duck.
- Gloria Travalian: Larry is a wonderful man.
- Ivan: I'm thrilled to hear this.
- Gloria Travalian: Larry is a wonderful man, but he's not you.
- Ivan: That's what I figured when he scratched his leg and I felt nothing. 'This man is not me.'
- Gloria Travalian: [Snobs] How can you joke at a time like this?
- Ivan: I joke, You snob. What difference does it make? We're both miserable.
- Drug Dealer: You shove, shoot it, snort it. I gotta sell it.
- Travalian: Look, my kid's in the business.
- Ivan: Okay, Gloria!
- [picking up a table]
- Ivan: Sit down or I'm gonna hit you with this chair!
- Gloria Travalian: That's a table.
- Gloria Travalian: Oh, Ivan. I'm hurting you.
- Ivan: That's the kindest thing you've said to me in six months, "Oh, Ivan, I'm hurting you."
- Seth Shapiro: [helping her on with her fur coat] What a fabulous look! What's it called?
- Alice: Peach Divine.
- Seth Shapiro: Is it edible?
- Alice: Do you think he's bi-sexual?
- Ivan: He never looked at a woman in his life!
- Gloria Travalian: You're at the goddamn typewriter 14 hours a day...
- Ivan: I'M AT THE GODDAMN TYPEWRITER, GLORIA... BECAUSE I'M A GODDAMN WRITER, GLORIA!
- Gloria Travalian: Larry and I are moving to the Good Harbor Beach Inn in Massachusetts. We've agreed to live there for a three month trial period and if it works, we'll be married on Larry's birthday in March.
- Ivan: Okay... okay-I guess I'll be heading back to rehearsal. Enough taking time off from work for fun, huh? You can keep the night table, Gloria.
- Gloria Travalian: No...
- Ivan: I just wanna say that you are the craziest person I've met since the guy blocking the bank door. He was wearing a Superman cape and pantyhose... crazier than you... maybe not.
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