bcarruthers-76500 Reviews

We Go in at Dawn (2020)

Pathetic!!!

[1/10 · 3 November 2021]

This movie makes me embarrassed to be an Englishman. If I were a betting man I would say that I'm sure that these actors were chosen from the local village acting club.

Avoid at all costs.

Trompie (1975)

T for Trompie? No, silly! It's T for Trouble!!!!!

[6/10 · 9 April 2019]

Writer and director, Tonie van der Merwe's movie opens a door to the past, taking you back in time to an Afrikaner community in the picturesque little town of Kwaggaberg in rural South Africa. This movie was released in 1975 and the dialogue is Afrikaans without subtitles, but having lived there myself I can explain what the movie's about. Trompie Toerien is a freckle-faced eleven year-old boy who's the leader of the Boksom, which includes his three chommies, Rooie (Reds), Blikkies (Cans) and little Dawie (Davy), who are all members of the local boxing club. In those days there were no TV's or video games to keep the boys occupied so they relied on their "captain" to entertain them. Together, the four boys get up to all sorts of mischief, often landing them in trouble with the townsfolk who don't always appreciate Trompie's wierd sense of humour. He is the king of pranks and has his own special way of talking himself out of any tight corner he finds himself in if he gets caught. It's a good thing he can, because "borrowing" the local dominee's (vicar's) pet baboon and letting it escape causing all sorts of havoc is just one of the antics Trompie and his gang get up to. As far as the adults who know Trompie are concerned, Trompie Toerien is trouble on two legs. I'm sure there's a bit of Tonie van der Merwe himself in the development of Trompie's character. When Tonie was interviewed by Tammi Scripps for Retro Afrika Bioscope on 17, November 2014 he said as soon as he first saw André Laubscher he knew he'd found his Trompie. André was in Standard 8 at (Höerskool Randburg) , Randburg High School, and looked at least three years younger than his actual age of fifteen. He'd also had previous acting experience, having played the boy from Karoo in "Groetnis vir die Eerste Minister" in 1973. I'm amazed that Tonie used the scene with the baboon because a dominee is very well respected person in the Afrikaner Dutch Reformed Church community and Tonie is an Afrikaner himself. When asked what was the hardest part in making this movie, Tonie said it was "directing" the animals, especially the baboon. Actually the baboon belonged to a friend of his in Krugersdorp. Tonie shows the viewer other aspects of Trompie's character in this movie, including the bond he shares with his three friends and the love he has for the animals he comes into contact with. Trompie's just a young boy growing up, with a vivid imagination, who likes to enjoy himself, and wants one thing more than anything else... ... a dog of his own. It's a delightful coming of age story, giving the viewer an insight into the everyday life of a typical youngster hungry for adventure, who's always dreaming up new ways to have fun. This movie was restored by Tonie van der Merwe and released on 30th April 2014 in South Africa to wide local acclaim. Even if you don't understand Afrikaans, this movie is worth watching, just to see the scenes with the baboon. And yes, Trompie really is "trouble on two legs." Enjoy!!! bcarruthers-76500

Il trionfo dei dieci gladiatori (1964)

The Magnificent Seven, I mean Ten, in Sandals!!!

[5/10 · 22 March 2019]

I love the nearly 3D effects you see at the beginning of this movie as each gladiator is introduced. The new widescreen print of The Triumph of The Ten Gladiators is far superior and the picture and sound quality is superb. It's a good story that reminds me of "The Magnificent Seven." These guys will do anything for money, but in this one none of the good guys get killed. A bit of slapstick mixed with some swords and sandals thrown in. Plenty of action. Good old Sal Borgese, the deaf-mute gladiator's antics have to put a smile on any viewer's face. What more could you ask for? bcarruthers-76500

Platoon Leader (1988)

Shame about the village!!!

[5/10 · 22 March 2019]

Platoon leader is often at it's most effective when when it reminds us that these men are human beings and not machines and that they will show emotion at times of stress. It's tense, atmospheric, and exciting at just the right times, with plenty of gunfire and explosions to keep the viewer entertained. Michael Dudikoff gives an excellent performance in this well above war movie from Cannon Pictures. Shame about the village though. bcarruthers-76500

The Psychopath (1966)

Those bloody dolls!!!

[5/10 · 22 March 2019]

"The Psycopath" is a story penned by the great Robert Bloch (author of Psycho), and directed by Freddie Francis for Amicus Studios starring Patrick Wymark and Margret Johnston. The plot focuses on post second world war two revenge and follows the murder of four men. The only clue that Inspector Holloway (Wymark) has, is that small eerie dolls were found next to each corpse. After starting off as a detective story, towards the end it becomes a tale of horror, by in my opinion, Freddie Francis at his peak. The acting is also very good and a wry sense of humour is always evident which is typical of these 1960s British horror movies. I also appreciate the respect shown in their restoration. It's amazing what modern video software can do today to get rid of marks on the print, removing broken frames and splices, and bring faded colouring back etc, making it more presentable for the viewer watching it on a modern television set. bcarruthers-76500

Daughter of Cleopatra (1960)

Absolutely Historical Nonsense!!!

[6/10 · 21 March 2019]

This is supposed to be the story of Cleopatra's daughter Shila, as she's called in this movie. The problem is that Cleopatra's real daughter Selene II lived between the years of 49- 6 BC. Her supposedly husband Nemorat/Khufu, as he's called if you look at the IMDb or the Wikipedia cast listings, lived between the years of 2589 and 2566 BC. This movie is supposed to be set during the reign of Khufu so somebody, somewhere, obviously made a mistake somehow or perhaps they chose Khufu because it was a royal name. The other problem there is that there was only one King Khufu ever listed. From a viewing point of view the only good thing about this movie was Debra Paget, the beautiful American actress who played Shila. On the other hand, the hypochondriac, idiotic Pharoah Nemorat/Khufu, who's mother told him women were dirty, and was forever complaining about bees and wasps getting into his ears to eat his brain, that's if they could find it, was beyond a joke. If Khufu was supposed to be the "real pharoah", you're talking about the same guy who commissioned the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza, one of the seven wonders of the world, which actually still stands in Egypt today. I'll give Peplum Studios something though, for an early movie of theirs, at least they chose to be in Egypt for a change. At the end of the movie, as Resi (Ettore Mani), and Slila (Debra Paget) ride off into the sunset, you're wondering, (from a historical point of view), what the he** the movie was all about. bcarruthers-76500

Island of Death (1976)

"The Lucky Ones Did Get Their Brains Blown Out!!!"

[5/10 · 21 March 2019]

ISLAND OF DEATH, aka Ta pedià tou Diavólu, aka Devils on Mykonos directed by Nico Mastirakis. Before indulging in watching this movie it is important to remember that it was considered a "Video Nasty" by the British Director Of Public Prosecutions, and is one of the most wildly banned movies worldwide. This is certainly one that you can truly understand why it was banned. In fact, it was only finally released uncut in the U. K. by Arrow Films in 2011 and is available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime. I must apologise in advance for the length of this review, but in the case of this particular movie, things need to be said. What starts off as a trip to the beautifully idyllic Greek island holiday destination of Mykonos, turns into a vision of absolute terror beyond the wildest of imaginations. This movie shows the viewer what perversions a human being is capable of. You know that there is something very "different" going on minutes into the movie and things are only going to get worse. This seemingly ordinary supposedly newlywed couple, Christopher, (Robert), and Celia (Jane Lyle), are in fact a pair of sexually sadistic murderers who have left London to set out on a killing spree abroad, intent on spreading their own brand of perversion across the island. It quickly becomes clear that these remorseless "natural born killers", are on a mission in the name of God, to punish anyone who indulges in any acts of sexual deviation. Not only that. They are in fact brother and sister, who are actively involved in an incestuous relationship. Christopher comes across as a regular, snap-happy tourist photographer, but he's actually putting together a photographic collection of their perverted actions. He's a delusional psychopath who engages in shocking acts of bestiality, rape, sodomy, homophobia and murder. Celia herself has regular dreams of a mysterious man who rapes her and kills Christopher, something he dismisses out of hand . She finally begins to feel guilty about the things they both have done and begs Christopher to stop, but he refuses and things finally begin to spiral out of control. The scenes of sex and violence in this movie are not really that shocking compared to modern horror movie terms. It is surprising for a movie that contains such extreme material, how funny some of it actually is. The scenes of murder are often seen in dark, ridiculous and terribly inappropriate ways, especially the beheading with the blade of the bulldozer. Their victims include homosexuals, lesbians and a middle-aged nymphomaniac. It is difficult to understand what direction the Greek director was trying to go because of the heartfelt idea of these crimes being committed and the seemingly pointlessness of it all. For all the violence, sex and cruelty on display in this poorly acted movie it is also filled with black comic humour. In fact, this graphic Grecian Slasher/Splatter movie must be one of the most perverse exploitation movies ever released that will cause the viewer to wonder what kind of mind would create something as hideous as this. With such scenes of bestiality, sodomy, Sapphic love, murder, homophobia and racism, as the cover art on the DVD said: "The lucky ones got their brains blown out!!!" Brian Carruthers

Mania: The Intruder (1986)

See what happens when you help someone!!!

[5/10 · 14 March 2019]

This little movie, "Mania" the intruder, is a quartet of vignettes of Canadian life which takes an ordinary person and places them into an extraordinarily situation, often leading to an unexpected conclusion. All the stories revolve around some sort of psychopath, hence the title. I personally loved the little touch of shades of the "Psycho" shower scene build up when the little boy appears. And that murderer had to be the judge. I knew there was something going on with that dog and look what you get for being a late night good samaritan. All in all it's not a bad movie. I love the horror anthology genre and its simple classic suspense makes it well worth the watch Brian Carruthers

The Vault of Horror (1973)

Re:8/10 Classic British Horror!!!

[8/10 · 16 February 2019]

Could you please edit my review and add my name to my review? Brian Carruthers bcarruthers 76500

Ursus in the Land of Fire (1963)

Who Needs An Army!!!

[8/10 · 15 February 2019]

Ursus, wearing only a pair of shorts, spots a girl, who he recognises as Diana with his 20:20 vision fall into a lake which happens to be the border between two lands, so he dives in and swims across to the other side to rescue her. He's the leader of the peaceful Shepherd farming community and their sharp vicissitudes of misfortune is what this movie is all about. After only 16 minutes Ursus is fighting 5 "giants", throwing rocks at them until a landside stops his fun. By now he's put some clothes on and looks more like Tony Curtis from "The Vikings" with his white sheepskin sleeveless jacket and woolly boots than a son of Hercules. The movie then moves into the usual Peplum Studios storyline: 1. Evil queen or general murders king or emperor. 2. Beautiful princess gets persecuted. 3. Princess gets the help of the local muscle man. 4. Men in skirts fight other men in skirts. 5. Problem solved and they all live happy ever after. Who needs an army to fight another army when you've got somebody like the mighty, with a capital "M", Ursus. Ursus has plenty of opportunities to show off his muscular prowness as he faces all the challenges thrown at him, each one harder than the other. In one particular scene Ursus attends a tournament to find the strongest man where the winner will be granted one wish. In order to compete Ursus must first pass a test of strength. You see him clad in a leopard skin and black plastic outfit with a seriously ridiculous helmet on, pitting his strength against two chariot drivers. You can clearly see the blocks underneath the wheels to stop them from moving. Torture plays a big part in the story and these cunning bad guys don't play by the rules. In another scene Ursus is challenged to a duel offering 5 different weapons that can be used at any time. His opponent chooses 5 men as his weapons. Ed Fury doesn't have the stage presence of Steve Reeves or Reg Park for example, but he does put his muscles to good use. The fight scenes are well staged, (as well as you would expect from Peplum), with Ursus killing his enemies by tapping them with his plastic sword and knocking them out with one blow. He doesn't look as tall as he actually is. (6ft. or 1.83m.) There are two scenes in particular where he seems to have difficulty lifting up two women who look bigger than him. All in all, this is one of the better movies from Peplum's library that deserves the widescreen letterbox treatment that you see in the newly released DVD versions rather than the middle-cut versions they were originally released in. Finally, I myself ,love these English recordings of "the sons of Hercules" that begin with such a heartwarming song you feel you want to sing along to, that really belongs in a western. You can nearly hear those horses hooves clacking along as the song plays. The movie's worth watching just to listen to the song that is a gentle reminder of those days in the front row at Saturday's movie matinee. Remember: " They are there when the need arises." bcarruthers-76500

Girl from Nowhere (2017)

Never Pick Up Hitchhikers!!!

[6/10 · 11 February 2019]

A general rule of the thumb in South Africa (where I lived for 12 years is never pick up hitchhikers because you never know who you are inviting into your life. So its surprising when Cape Town couple, Katherine and Hugh learn this lesson the hard way when they pick up a young girl carrying a rucksack, hitchhiking along the road to their mountain getaway. Wearing "Daisy Duke" denim hot pants and an air of confidence Liza entices them both down the path of temptation leading to disastrous consequences. What is this beautiful soul robber doing, standing all alone in the natural wilderness that surrounds her? Where has she come from? A lot of questions need answering. Things begin to come clear when Liza tells them that she's from " nowhere" and that walking's been a"blast" with sarcasm but that changes when she finds out who they are and what they do as they head to their weekend getaway home set amidst the Cederberg. Girl from Nowhere is Mark Jackson's first full-length feature is South Africa's first attempt to follow the genre of "The girl..." with lots of saucy "bits" and plenty of tension. With this being an indie-erotic thriller, naturally there's going to be a lot of flirting, though Kate and Hugh are oblivious to the danger they've brought into their lives. This story involves 3 people and a gun. Kate (Tamryn Speirs), is looking for for a change of life in life. She is a movie producer working on a script that Hugh has written, with Hugh as a star. Kate becomes fascinated with Liza, despite being jealous of her infatuation with Hugh. Hugh (Scot Cooper), on the other hand is a young aspiring actor in TV commercials (with rather narcissistic traits), who's told his wife he's filming in the area, and wants to get ahead in the game, no matter what the costs. The trio is rounded off by Liza (Christia Visser), South Africa's answer to Lolita perhaps? She is a feisty, manipulative, quick witted girl who has trouble on her face from the minute you meet her. She'd actually been in one of Master actress Tamryn's classes and identified as a potential star. Tamryn introduced her to Mark, who then gave her this, her first movie part while she was still at acting school. Watching her in action, it's easy to see why. This movie, with it's super gritty South African soundtrack by Nicholas Turner and Jonny Blundell cost Mark Jackson 4 years of his time. It was filmed open ai in the beautiful Cederberg region of the Western Cape of South Africa without almost any help whatsoever. It was shot in 13 days on a budget of less than R400,000, $300,000 (@ R1= 0.73c. 11/2/19) but spent three years in post production. Brian Carruthers

Anno 79: La distruzione di Ercolano (1962)

Ridiculously Funny Nonsense!!!

[5/10 · 9 February 2019]

AD 79 The Destruction of Herculaneum aka Anno79 Last Distruzione di Ercolano is a another Peplum Studios Italian/French co-production directed by Giancarlo Parolini 3 years after the earlier 1959 production of "The Last Days of Pompeii, starring Steve Reeves. This time our hero, General Marcus Tiberius, is played by Brad Harris. Marcus isn't just any Roman General. He's also the nephew of Emperor Titus Flavius. After returning to Rome in triumph with his legion, including 4 very amusing Centurions, Marcus finds Rome in turmoil. More and more people are dying on the streets and the Christian community of Rome are being blamed by the more nefarious factions of the Senate. Marcus doesn't believe that the peaceful law-abiding Christians are to blame for what is going on in Rome. When he told by his uncle to use force against the Christians he disobeyed orders and was stripped of all of his titles and forced into exile. The story then spends far too much time on the political ramifications in Rome caused by the situation with the Christians as well as the impact on Marius's exile on his four faithful centurion friends than on the situation with the volcano. Not only that. With the little time that is left. Our hero, when freed, must convince his uncle of the Christians innocence, join up with a band of very happy gladiators, and save the woman he loves, in a very short time. The scenes of battle in this movie are limited, although there are two amusingly "violent" fight scenes when Marcus fights the "giant" Samson, (Djordjie Nenadovic.) The interim fighting scenes seem to be more like something like "Spartacus," with a gladiator revolt taking place in Rome. The movie also shows the viewer gladiators actually having fun in scenes that turn a rather disappointing movie into a lot of fun. The obligatory gladiator scene, normally seen in the arena suddenly moves to a lake supposedly filled with crocodiles. (You do get to see a big plastic one that doesn't even open its mouth.) This time the opposing gladiators are on rafts encircled by a ring of burning oil. I couldn't help but laugh when Marcus turned to the other gladiator on his raft and said he would rather face the danger of the crocodiles than the fire. The fire had only been less than a foot tall and was already going out. More could have been done with that scene but it was fun while it lasted since you barely take the matter seriously anyway. The movie is 108 minutes long and Vesuvius only begins to rumble ten minutes ten minutes before it ends. Had it been a more modern movie the CGI special effects team would have had a field day playing with their "toys." Here the volcano starts to "awaken" on a beautiful sunny day. It begins to get cloudy and the wind begins to blow, then things finally begin to happen. Considering its age of the movie, the special effects aren't too bad. They did though, steal the scenes of destruction directly from Peplum's Pompeii movie and blatantly reuse them. What starts off as a volancanic eruption quickly begins to fizzle out and turns into an earthquake. I watched 2 versions of this movie. The first: AD 79 The Destruction of Herculaneum, available on Amazon Prime is only is 78 minutes long and heavily edited. The second: La Distruzione di Ercolano is the full 108 minute version containing all of the "gory"scenes, such as all the killings, the earthquake swallowing those unfotunate people, and the strams of molten lava. Why they cut the English version so much I do not know. All I can say is perhaps the violence was edited for kids daytime viewing and the time difference was to make it shorter in order to fit time schedules. It's worth the watch though, even if it's just to see the raft scene. bcarruthers-76500

The Body Beneath (1970)

My Review " I thought I'd seen everything. I'm confused!!!!

[1/10 · 6 February 2019]

Please excuse me, but I forgot to put my name tag on my review and I inadvertantly hit the wrong button and ended up with a 10/10 award instead of 1/10. Could you possibly edit the review for me please. Regards. Brian Carruthers.

The Vault of Horror (1973)

Classic British Horror!!!

[8/10 · 4 February 2019]

This is a super anthology of horror stories from Amicus Productions. Five men find themselves locked in a basement, which could easily be mistaken for a quaint dining room with the table set ready for dinner. The early 70s campiness about them show just how good Hammer Studios really were. It's definiately more comedy than horror and it does take a while to get to the actual horror. The pot for the budget for special effects in all the stories must have been empty . While they don't lack for splashes of blood, something about the fashionable 1970's clothes makes everything else look less gnarled and spooky. The wonderful Tom Baker, tells a delightful story of how using voodoo to get your revenge on people who exploit you, can backfire on you rather badly. Capably directed by Roy Ward Baker and filmed on location and at Twickenham Studios with tip-top acting from an all star cast of veteran British character actors makes it good viewing, especially if you're a fan of classic British horror. bcarruthers-76500

The Body Beneath (1970)

I thought I'd seen it all!!! I'm confused?

[1/10 · 4 February 2019]

The Body Beneath: Directed by Andy Milligan. N.B. IMDb 82mins. It's difficult not to like a vampire movie with an odd bit of atmosphere filmed and produced by the late Andy Milligan, a director people love to hate. He was well known for producing movies with budgets ranging between $8 and $30, 000 dollars on a regular basis and giving the viewer in this case something creepy and surprisingly well put together. It was shot on location in England and some scenes were filmed in one of the most wildly filmed gothic cemeteries, Highgate Cemetery. An ancient coven of avant-garde vampires are hunting for their last living relatives in order to find a new bloodline in order to continue their existence. Their leader, the Reverend Alexander Algernon Ford, (Gavin Reed ) has the usual streak of cruelty in him but he's also a very different kind of vampire. He needs a blood transfusion before he can walk outside in the sunshine. I never saw a vampire having a blood transfusion before. Our friend the reverend has a lease on Carfax Abbey near Hempstead Heath. Very Draculaish, don't you think? He's accompanied by a trio of ladies, in particular a green painted, very red lipped vampire, looking more like a zombie, who walk about during the day and a sad blonde haired ski hatted mortal hunchback called Spool, (Berwick Taylor), their servant, who all follow their master in this schlock horror feast. Normally in a vampire movie you would expect a lot of blood and gore ,but in this one you get a lot of talk and talk. In fact, that reverend vampire never stops talking , especially when he reveals his final plans. The sepia unfocused green tinted look and its terrible mono sound with its home movie look about it seem to fit well with the severity of the decaying building where most of the filming occurs. The idea of the story has the makings of a good vampire movie but all those painted maidens and poor Spool (rather a strange name) get in the way of the actual story. Finally the movie itself is a bit slow at times but the last fifteen minutes are so crazily weird enough to make it worth watching though it's really for someone who loves a bad movie. bcarruthers-76500

Hero of Rome (1964)

A FIST OF STEEL

[6/10 · 3 February 2019]

These Peplum Studios movies based on ancient historical characters always seem to be better produced than their regular run of the mill sword and sandal 60s sentimentality. The version of this movie I saw was on DVD in widescreen 16:9 format and the print and sound quality seemed to be in quite good condition considering its age. It comes across as a min-epic based on the legendary hero of Rome, Gaius Mucius Scaevola, which lives up to a lot of expectations. Some gorgeous women are in it including the beautiful Gabriella Pallota as Cloelia. Mucius or Lucius, as he sounded like in the dialogue is a warrior played by Gordon Scott, our friend who played Tarzan from 1955 to 1960. He shows off his muscle man duties like picking up "heavy" plastic logs and throwing at the enemy soldiers. The rest of the movie is filled with a whole lot of battle scenes. Some of which I'm sure I've seen before. All in all it's a decent movie. The story was solid, well paced and the acting decent. What more can a man and his kids ask for? And Yes. There were no dragons or monsters in this one Brian Carruthers.

Riot (II) (2017)

Gritty!!! A Ticking Time Bomb!!!

[6/10 · 2 February 2019]

GBH aka Riot (2012) Directed by Simon Phillips. GBH aka Riot is the tale of Damien crossing the line between being a London football hooligan to becoming a member of her majesty's Metropolitan Police force on the edge between both sides of the fight. Nick Nevern plays the part well as things around him spiral out of control. You can feel the intensity of it all as the movie progresses.

Kelly Shirley, ( Carly Wicks in Eastenders) who plays his rookie cop love interest, fits the bill along with Nick to make the movie believable. Damien tells her that he was in and out of care all of his life because of anger management issues. A police officer told him "he'd got so much rage in his eyes and should use it to get back at the life he hates so much." That's why he became a policeman. That scene in this movie epitomises what this movie all about and watching it, which starts off a bit slowly, is like looking like a time bomb and you, the viewer are just waiting for it to explode in your face. bcarruthers-76500

Nightmare Classics: Carmilla (1989) Season 1, Episode 2

Sadly lost!!!

[5/10 · 1 February 2019]

NIGHTMARE CLASSICS: CARMILLA 1989 Directed by Gabrielle Beaumont. The story of J. Sheridan Le Fanu's 1872 classic Gothic novella is set in the southern states of post Civil War America for no apparent reason other than the movie's budget was too small to film in Europe, where the story really belongs. Gabrielle Beaumont's interpretationen of the story comes across as rather odd, when in the opening scenes you see a grown woman in a big white dress playing in her bedroom with her cute little black kitten surrounded by her dolls and doll's house. Come on. This is supposed to be a horror story. Two beautiful girls, Marie, (Meg Tilly), why isn't she called Laura? and Carmilla, (Ione Skye) at least make the movie worth watching. Considering it was made in the late 1980s it comes across as something rather from the 1950s. Especially Roddy McDowell as poor Inspector Amos. What a sore head he must have had. All in all though, it's certainly an entertaining little tale. However, it sadly lacks the blood and sexual tension that the bare-breasted lesbian temptress (Yutte Stensgaard) from the British Hammer's Horror movie "Lust for a Vampire" (1971) brings to the screen. Shelley Duvall's made for TV production of the story unfortunately doesn't pack a punch strong enough that it so richly deserves. Brian Carruthers

Asylum (I) (1972)

A TIMELESS MASTERPIECE OF BRITISH HORROR

[8/10 · 29 January 2019]

ASYLUM: Director: Roy Ward Baker (Amicus Productions)

This timeless quartet of torrid tales comes from the pen of the master-of-macabre, Robert Bloch, each superbly told by the inmates of an English mental institution for the criminally insane. Although it's not in the same league as "The Vault of Horror", this gem of a movie still presents some enjoyable stories with Robert Powell as a young psychiatrist who must interview four patients inside the asylum in order to find out which one is Dr. Starr, in order to get the job on offer. bcarruthers-76500

Messalina (1960)

The Most Beautiful Terror In Ancient History

[9/10 · 29 January 2019]

MESSALINA, IMPERIAL VENUS, (MESSALINA VENERE IMPERATRICE), Vittorio Cottafavi's classical movie loosley telling the story of the infamous Empress Messalina, the young woman who rocked the very foundations of Rome. The Emperor Caligula of Rome was killed by his Praetorian Guards and both they and the aristocrats are undecided who to elect next. Finally they reach a decision and the elderly Claudius becomes Emperor. Meanwhile there are already plots being made among the various factions in Rome. The aristocrat Suplicus, contacts the beautiful Valeria, (Belinda Lee), who is due to become a priestess of the Temple of Vesta, and he tells her of his plans to get Claudius to marry her so that he can use her position and take power in Rome. However Valeria has bigger plans of her own. In the garden of the Temple of Vesta, Valeria meets Lucius Maximus, (Spiros Focàs) whose risking his life in being there and they fall in love. It is decided that Claudius will marry Valeria Messalina, a cousin of Augustus Caesar and Nero On the night before her wedding she murders Suplicus. Lucius Maximus is sent campaigning in Armenia and returns to Rome to find Valeria but the priestesses at the temple won't let him in.? When he returns to Rome he finds that the woman he loves is now, Messalina, Empress of Rome, who is burning the Christian suburbs of Rome to gain riches. Not only do you get the evil and blood thirsty Messallina, you also get the most beautiful Belinda Lee in one of Peplum's more mature movies with lots of political intrigue and plenty of characterisation rather than the run of the mill monster/dragons and ridiculously impossible feats of strength. Though there is plenty of action, especially those of Claudius's ambush towards the end of the movie. The scene with the ballet dancers coming out of the barrel of wine and doing their pirouettes at Claudius's banquet seem out of place. It can seem insensitive though not to fall to the charm of Silvia, the young Christian girl who adores Lucius Maximus. All in all it is certainly one of the better Peplum films. It's certainly worth the watch. Brian Carruthers

Theater of Blood (1973)

Gloriously, Wonderful! Glorious! Vincent Price at his best!!!!

[8/10 · 28 January 2019]

Vincent Price, in arguably in one of his finest performances stars as Edward Kendal Sheridan Lionheart, a failed old school Shakespearean matinèe idol, unloved by his critics. Diana Rigg, a talented actress plays his daughter, Edwina. It also stars an impressive cast of British character actors including Ian Hendry, Michael Hordern, Robert Morley and Arthur Lowe. When members of the London Theatre Critics Circle give the Critic's Award to an uprising actor, Lionheart is pushed to the depths of despair, and jumps off a building into the River Thames clutching the award for Best Actor he had stolen, he felt he so richly deserved. Two years later, exactly on March 15th, (The Ides of March), the public thinking him dead, he decides to exact his revenge by murdering those critics in ingenious scenarios imitating death scenes from his beloved bard's Shakespearean plays. The critics are murdered one by one and it is up to Inspector Boot, (Milo O'Shea to find out who is responsible before any more are murdered. bcarruthers-76500

Caesar Against the Pirates (1962)

20 Talents of Gold? That is an insult!!

[6/10 · 27 January 2019]

In this episode of the life of the 25 year old Gaius Julius Caesar, Rome is in tukilling all of turmoil. It is the year 75 BC and the Dictator, Sulla is murdering all the Senators who will not support his leadership. Caesar flees for his life when men storm his house, intent on killing him because of his wife's family connections with those Senators who oppose Sulla. Caesar and his servant, accompanied by his doctor friend escape by sea by building a raft they hastily built. Afloat at sea, they are picked up by a boat and taken to the court of King Nicomedes in Bithynia. Nicomedes allows Caesar to leave for Mileto on a boat to escort Quintilia, Caesar's cousin and Claudia, a slave who Caesar does not realise is the promised bride of Hamar, the major pirate of the Mediterranean Sea area. Their ship is attacked by pirates who kidnap Caesar and his companions and take them to the pirate stronghold of Formacusa. Caesar is held for a ransom of 20 talents of gold but he is insulted by that amount and raises it to the ridiculously high amount of 50 talents of gold. Publius is sent back to Rome to collect the gold needed for the ransom with Akim, Hamar's lieutenant. In Rome, (78BC), he hears that Sulla is dead and asks for help to get Caesar released. On their return voyage they are attacked and robbed by Edom, Nicomedes ally and return to Hamar empty handed. Quintilia's father sends a fleet to attack Formacusa and finally rid them of the pirate menace which has been plaguing them for so long. As the battles around the stronghold rage, Akim is killed. Caesar tries to save Claudia from a dreadful death by the jealous Hamar, but she does in his arms. In their final confrontation, Caesar kills Hamar and returns to Rome to be reunited with his beloved Cornelia. bcarruthers-76500

Caesar Against the Pirates (1962)

Only 20 Talents?

[6/10 · 27 January 2019]

In 75 BC in Rome, 25 year old Julius Caesar is forced to flee for his life due to his wife Cornelia's family ties with the Dictator, Sulla. He escapes on a raft accompanied by his doctor fiend Publius and his faithful servant Frontone. Eventually find themselves on a ship bound for Mileto with Quintilia, Caesar's cousin, the daughter of the Govenor of Mileto. They are captured by pirates and talen to the pirate island stronghold of Formacusa. There they meet the pirate leader, Hamar. He demands a ransom of 20 talents of gold. He finds that amount insulting and offered 50 talents for the release of him and his companions. Publius goes back to Rome to collect the gold with Akim, Hamar's sidekick but they are robbed by other pirates on the return voyage to Formacusa. The Govenor of Mileto sails with his ships to end the piracy of Hamar and they attack his island base. Caesar is freed and his daughter is rescued and in the ensuing battles Caesar kills Hamar. bcarruthers-76500

Graveyard Stories (2017)

Avoid at all costs!!!!!

[1/10 · 26 January 2019]

I've seen some bad movies in my time but I'm sorry but this movie has to be the biggest waste of time and money in the annals of movie history. This lame, cheesy "horror" anthology looks like a local amateur dramatic society has put on a show for the local villiage to entertain them. The acting is so wooden, they look like a bunch of dolls walking around in slow motion and the dialogue makes you want to cringe. Did they get these actors out of a lucky bag? If they did these "candies suck." The scenes with the toilet rolled covered growling mummy who kills the guy who has tomato soup" pouring out of his mouth and those "evil" dolls poking around the corner on the end of someone's arm show you just how bad this movie is. In fact it should come with a health warning: AVOID: Do not waste your time!!! bcarruthers-76500

Graveyard Stories (2017)

Don't waste your time!!!

[1/10 · 26 January 2019]

These two so called horror legends, Lloyd Kaufman and Jim O'Rear bring to you this so called "horror" movie. It looks like the local amateur dramatic socity have put on a show for the local village. The actors are hamming it and the dialogue makes the complete thing wooden. This lame and seriosly collection of tales look more like a home movie. Five tales of "horror" with a slasher, a mummy, some mad dolls, a troll, a bad cop, surely something must be scary. The thing with any anthology of stories is that if one is bad, you can always move on to the next one. I'm sorry but these tales don't deliver the shocks that you would expect from a horror movie. The highlights are : a "mummy" who looks like he's covered in toilet rolls who kills a guy. Was that tomato soup pouring out of this mouth? Some mad dolls peeking round corners on the end of an arm. I'm sorry it should come with a warning. AVOID!!! bcarruthers-76500